cooking

← Phase 2

Well, Dude and my mother liked it. I can’t stand pineapple, so I was having none of it. Neither was XY TD, who ate about two cans of green beans by himself. XX TD had some but she’d been noshing all day and wasn’t hungry (also, she ate all the pineapple I carved out of the middle).

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Oven¹ 240F, timer 5 hours. Read more →

I don’t know where I ran across the “Swineapple” recipe, but it got posted to Reddit not too long ago and immediately went semi-viral.

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My relationship with food is like having an abusive ex-boyfriend: He keeps coming back and coming back, every day, even though you don’t want to see him. You want to get rid of him but he won’t go away. It’s not an analogy of “I eat because I have to” and “I can’t really live without him.” It’s that you really don’t want want food in the house the way you really don’t want him to come back. That’s where the analogy stops. Read more →

There’s nothing special about this and there is no weird story behind it like yesterday’s; it’s just a childhood favorite I haven’t made in years. However, we had a block party Saturday and thus I bade Dude to purchase the dreaded pork’n’beans.

Got a wild hare to be a real mom for a minute and a half, which involved preparing freezer meals of things I like but the TDs will not eat because it didn’t come from McDonald’s, Subway, or Sonic. What I have planned for the freezer are side dishes, not the entrée, so for today’s entrée, I made chicken rolls, which they didn’t like any better than they like anything else I make. Because I am not McDonald’s. (FYI: They went hungry.)

I have no real history with this dish to legitimately call it a “comfort food,” but goodness they were good!

Next time, I’m going to up the cream cheese and not cook them quite so long. I served it (heh, only to myself) with green rice, which recipe used to be a comfort food, but one I now have little taste for. I don’t know why.

[2025-07-30: I have since learned that if it has meat, it’s not technically¹ “marinara.” It’s just “spaghetti sauce.”

I make this with different measurements all the time because A) it depends on what I have on hand; B) I never measure; and C) I can’t be arsed to write it down. This is how I made it today, and all measurements are approximate:

• 3 lb hamburger
• 1 diced yellow onion
• 1 T minced garlic (I use the stuff in the jars)
• salt
• pepper
• 1/4 c basil (dried)
• 1/2 c oregano (dried)
• 1/2 c parsley (dried)
   
• Fry all that up together, then drain off the grease.
   
• 5 4-oz cans mushroom pieces and stems (with water)
• 2 cans tomato sauce
• 5 cans tomato paste
• water to make it the consistency you like
   
• Mix all that up really well, let simmer for a while with the lid on it. On low, you could keep it on the stove all day if you wanted. The idea is to let the herbs steep. I’ll add more oregano² once I get it stirred up, as I like oregano. Lots.
   
• Serve on whatever shaped of pasta (cooked) that you like.

If I have stewed tomatoes on hand, I’ll use those. If I have whole tomatoes on hand, I’ll blanch, peel, and use those. I don’t use olive oil because I think the beef provides all the oil necessary, and I’m not a fan of olive oil anyway.

As we all know, this is a heavy dish. When I’m low-carbing, I can have a bowl of it for breakfast (yes, I said breakfast) without the pasta (with parmesan) and I won’t have to think about eating again until bedtime. No matter how much I love it, though, I will never get over thinking it’s weird to eat it without the pasta.

It freezes well, and one of these days, if I ever get around to learning how to can, this is the first thing I’m going to can.

I grew up with this being served only on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. It was a magnificent treat. For the most part, I still keep that because, well, it’s loaded with sugar and, wow, I could drink a quart of it every day.

Anyway, I had it for my wedding reception and Dragon Lady told me later it was the best punch she’d ever had with another sweet (cake, etc.) because it didn’t clash and/or leave an aftertaste. Now, I don’t know how much that had to do with the punch as much as it had to do with the fact that I wanted vanilla and almond flavoring in my cake icing, but she loved it so much she got her niece to serve it at her wedding reception, where, apparently, it went just as well.

The secret is in the vanilla-and-almond combination.

I have an “official” recipe that I kinda sorta follow sometimes if I feel like it, but usually I have way more hamburger than the amount called for in the official recipe (we buy one cow a year and have most of it, minus the excellent cuts [about which I am very specific] ground into hamburger). This is how I made it last night:

• 2-1/2 lb hamburger
• 1-1/2 c bread crumbs (combined my own dried/crumbled with boughten seasoned)
• 1 c milk
• 1/2 c yellow onion, chopped
• 2 eggs
• 2 T Worcestershire sauce (this is the key to a good meatloaf, IMO)
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp dry mustard
• 1/2 tsp pepper
• 1/2 tsp ground sage

 

• Mix all ingredients (knead it with your hands as you would bread dough) and put into a springform pan. Put on an aluminum-foil-lined cookie sheet. Cook at 350F for 1 hour.
• Add ketchup as needed.

 

• NOTE: For low-carb version, substitute bread crumbs with chopped mushrooms (not the kind from the can).

If you’re easily squicked about meat and the eating thereof, you may stop reading right here.

I love steak tartare. If you don’t know what that is, it’s raw ground sirloin with egg and capons and a bunch of spices in it. I eat this meatloaf raw once I get all the spices worked in and settled. Sometimes I’ll add a little extra Worcestershire sauce. Poor woman’s tartare.

Continuing with the theme of what Mojo cooks because she hates to, and this is what her mother cooked and so she likes it enough to cook it:

This should probably fall under the heading “no brainer,” but these are the best enchiladas I’ve ever had, bar none.

I got 27 enchiladas out of this today:

This isn’t hard, but the prep time (especially if you hand grate the cheese and dice the onions by hand instead of the handy-dandy chopper I adore) is a killer.

Obviously, you can substitute any meat you like, but I prefer plain cheese and onions.

Got a request for my recipe for beef stroganoff, so I’m going to add a new category of comfort food. These are adapted from recipes my mother used, the food I grew up on and while some of it’s expensive to make, some of it’s not. It’s not fancy. The reason I don’t cook is that my mother made everything from scratch (even egg noodles) and so it wouldn’t occur to me to go get, say, a jar of Ragu for spaghetti sauce (and the one time I did I gagged). However, when I do cook, I cook from scratch.

I very rarely measure anything unless I’m baking, so you’ll have to adjust for your own tastes. I have tried this stroganoff with stew meat or cutting up a cheap steak (say, chuck), but I don’t like it that way, as the flavors don’t blend as well. Liberal use of pepper is the key to a good batch of stroganoff.

The measurements for this beef stroganoff are written per 1 pound of hamburger.

Cook up the hamburger with all the above ingredients on medium high heat, enough to barely cook the meat and make the onions translucent. Stir well, and let it simmer for about 10 minutes to let the flavors settle in. Drain, put it back in the pan, and put it back on the stove.

Into the drained meat, stir in (very well):

Let that simmer on low for about 15 minutes. While that’s cooking, cook up:

Remove the stroganoff from the heat. Add:

Stir it in well and let the whole thing sit for about 10 minutes.
Drain your egg noodles and put them on a plate.
Then top with the stroganoff mixture.

That’s it. Only takes me about 1/2 hour, no matter how much I make, and I make it in batches of about 5 pounds of hamburger. It never lasts long enough to be able to freeze any of it, but it is freezable.