The Bunny

Since I am sharing old ads I’ve written, here’s one that got me a lot of sweet emails saying they didn’t want a bunny, but my ad had made their day. It is very nice to know that one’s writing is uplifting.


FREE to good home: 1 bunny with supplies

Exasperated parents of a 13-year-old Girl Child are offering

1 black male dwarf rabbit, apx 2-3 years old, very sweet disposition
1 large cage/playground with wheels and toys
1 large water bottle
1 large package of pine bedding
1-1/4 large bags of feed
2 salt licks
miscellaneous supplies

Here’s the story:

Girl Child’s bestie moved cross-country and couldn’t find a home for the bunny on short notice. Girl Child (GC) pleaded with Maternal Parental Unit (MPU) to take the bunny, promising all sorts of outlandish things such as doing her chores without complaint or ‘tude forever and ever, amen.

We will now pause for experienced parental units to groan.

So did Paternal Parental Unit. He even went so far as to accuse MPU of being a “touch”! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!

*ahem* Anyway, it has been 2 months. We, the PUs (PPU more so than MPU) are fed up with GC’s inability to clean the kitchen to PPU’s satisfaction (to say nothing of MPU’s!) without suddenly coming down with a litany of illnesses that come with free tears, much contention, and a half-arsed job. MPU has argued for the bunny’s continued residence many times, but last night, PPU put his foot down.

Furthermore, MPU barely convinced PPU not to make GC sit in the back of our pickup at Walmart with a sign that informs the world of her ‘tude, instead convincing him to allow MPU to place this ad. “We can’t afford that therapy bill” were the magic words. Marginally.

Note: We like the bunny. He is a sweet bunny. He is also very fuzzy, which we also like. We don’t like GC’s attitude, which will not improve with the giving-away-of-the-bunny, but she made a promise, and we gave her plenty of chances to hold up her end of the bargain. She did not. C’est la vie.

Please contact the Maternal Parental Unit via Craigslist email or text. May you be blessed with more conscientious spawn.

keywords: free rabbit bunny dwarf pet gullible needlessly indulgent

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