Tales from the cryptergarten

The 5-year-old Tax Deduction has just informed me that [insert Trendy white-bread Suburban Male Name here]’s mom and dad are always fighting.

Me: So do they fight at school in front of the children?

TD1: No. At home.

Me: Is [TSMN] upset about this?

TD1: No. They don’t want to be together anymore.

Me: Oh, really? How do you know this?

TD1: [TSMN] told me.

Me: Hmm. Do YOUR mommy and daddy fight?

TD1: No. [beat] Do you?

Me: No … We discuss things.

TD1: Is that like fighting?

Me: Only if we have loud voices and yelling. Have you heard us do that?

TD1: No. And [insert Trendy white-bread Suburban Female Name here]’s mom and dad, too.

Me: [TSFN]’s too?

TD1: Yeah. They don’t want to be together, either.

Me [aside to self]: Two meanest kids in the class.

5 thoughts on “Tales from the cryptergarten

  • February 24, 2009 at 6:24 pm
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    Up until 2002, I was an expert on raising children.

    Then I got some.

    Reply
  • February 24, 2009 at 7:14 pm
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    Once you have teenaged girls you will realize why superior cultures marry them off at 14.

    Reply
  • February 24, 2009 at 6:41 pm
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    I flinch in utter horror at all the times I thought bad thoughts of the parents at church who couldn’t control their children.

    Somebody pass the hairshirt.

    Reply
  • February 24, 2009 at 6:49 pm
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    Muahahahaha. ‘Tis a humbling experience indeed, isn’t it? *sigh*

    Reply

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