this and that – MORIAH JOVAN

God is a terrible matchmaker

September 7, 2019July 31, 2025Moriah

God is a terrible matchmaker.

He was, I mean, once upon a time when he started playing with dolls. He looked down on my team’s handiwork and said, “There’s something missing.” He told Michael and Lilith to go wander around and see if they could figure out what.

Dolls.

God saw Michael and Lilith walking around, said, “That’s it,” and there he went playing in the mud. Meanwhile, he told Michael and Lilith to name the animals and plants and oh by the way, do this thing right here so I can see how it all fits together.

They did that thing. Right there.

They didn’t stop doing that thing.

“Okay, I got it. You can stop now.” Read more →

What are you doing RIGHT NOW?

July 22, 2016July 29, 2025Moriah

An image of Big Ben in London. — What are you doing RIGHT NOW?

Stop.

What are you doing right now? Right this very minute.

Stop for a couple of minutes and answer that question.

Stranger danger

May 27, 2015July 29, 2025Moriah

I am sitting at a table in my local public library, my laptop, a bottle of water, and my Galaxy Note in front of me. I have headphones on and I am listening to nature sounds because the not-very-socially-graced woman behind me (she and I have a history) is muttering to herself loudly enough that it’s clear she wants someone to ask her what she’s working on and her laptop is making funky bubble-popping sounds loudly. Read more →

Back to blogging, maybe

June 1, 2013July 29, 2025Moriah

Dunham’s wrapping up and going into production, which means I’m right on track for my July 4 release date.
I have the attention span of a gnat, and I’ve always thought/spoken in bullet-point lists. It just got worse since I fell in love with Twitter oh so long ago. 140 characters is just about perfect.
I had a midlife crisis recently when I turned 45, realized I might not actually die young like a lot of people in my family do, AND realized I’d done everything I intended to do and that Dunham is the culmination. It’s the book I’ve worked on sporadically since I caught the idea in 1990 and had no idea what to do with it. That may have been a miscalculation.
In terms of the publishing world, I’ve said all I had to say. If I were inclined to told-you-so’s, I’d be RTing my ancient blog posts all the freaking time. Welcome to my 5-year-old epiphanies, Publishing. You’re still getting it oh! so wrong, but I’m too tired to yell at you.
I’ve always appreciated good craftsmanship, whatever it is. I have occasionally featured artists on my blog before whose work I like because I think it’s important to tell a craftsman when you like his work.
Lately I’ve taken to Pinterest and Tumblr just for pretty pictures. I’m trying to find my Zen and it seems that pretty pictures and well-done crafts do that.

I need to get my house in order. Declutter. Shred old tax documents. Craigslist the shit out of my house, beginning with paper books and CDs.
The things I feel strongly about and would like to rant about here include religion and politics, and you know what? I’m actually not interested in getting on a soapbox on my blog. That’s what my books are for.
Romancelandia (which is a nanoscopic part of romance readers) (which I found out at RT), is too fraught with infighting and contrary agendas and politicization and passive-aggressive hostility and cowardice and trolling disguised as activism / education. Not interested in getting into that, either. I like what I like and fuck you if you think I’m privileged / ignorant / stupid / still-under-the-thrall-of-the-patriarchy, and need to be protected from my deplorable taste in literature. And fuck you 60 times over if you don’t think “IT” (whatever “IT” is) should be written and/or read. GTFO of my entertainment. (That’ll land me on a few more badly-behaving-authors lists and garner some grudge-ratings and hate-readings, to which I say, if someone has the time to do that, they are very privileged to have that much time on their hands.) Now I have nothing more to say on that topic.

And so. This blog’s probably going to look like a Tumblr for a little while because a) I like to share things I find beautiful / useful / funny, b) I’m short on words right now, and c) I want to share my Zen as I stumble my way around life post-bucket-list to find it.

Look at me! Look at me!

September 1, 2012July 30, 2025Moriah

[[07/15/2025: This’ll teach me to use an embed plugin instead of screenshots, and also not to put in the text.]]

So this morning around 10:13 a.m., I read a piece in HuffPo about a possible alternative chronology to the New Testament that puts a new spin on things. I thought it was an interesting concept. I RTd the link, though I forgot from whom I lifted it.

A tweet from me, @MoriahJovan. Text: “Reading the New Testament chronologically: ow.ly/dnpJq VERY INTERESTING (can't recall who tweeted this--sorry!)”

My friend replied: [deleted tweet]

Another friend replied: [deleted tweet]

We had a nice little chat about that that lasted all of about 1/2 hour. Then I had to go do grownup things like work and take care of the gas leak I had and arrange for a plumber and new water heater.

And then this guy shows up six hours later: [deleted tweet]

And that’s where he started the fight without bothering to ask us to define our terms first. (First rule of Twitter when butting into a convo you want to involve yourself in: ask for clarification from the participants first. You’ll probably get a nice response and a welcome to the convo so long as you can keep it civil, even if you disagree.) Regrettably, we engaged for about three tweets each before we figured out he had no home training and blocked him.

But before I did, I did a little preliminary snoopage, as per SOP when strangers with an attitude butt into my convo six hours after said convo has been put to bed. Matthew Reeves is 20. He writes YA. How sweet of him. How … 20 years old of him.

I was 20 once. It was a nice year. I had fun. And yeah, I thought I knew everything, too.

So! He’s blocked and I go back to harrassing @mikecane, as per usual, interspersed with some time spent making my son do manual labor, and Matthew Reeves continues to rant at us, but who cares, right? Because we can’t see it and there are soooo many more interesting people on Twitter who really can school us on something.

But apparently Matthew Reeves needs to broadcast his point of view to the world, so without further ado, and because I’m occasionally a nice mommy to my own know-it-all son, I’m going to assist him in this endeavor:

Dude, I’m A Historian (but not in the subject being discussed). [dead link]

Bless his heart, picking a fight with two people he doesn’t know who are old enough to have shot him out of our vaginas, and is now mad because we won’t pay him any mind. Precious. Just precious.

And now he’s disillusioned: [deleted tweet]

Sadness.

Go away, kid. Ya bother me.

A story

October 21, 2011July 24, 2025Moriah

Uh oh I Get in Trouble

by Tax Deduction #1
(3rd grade)

Chapter 1

Uh oh I get in trouble for drawing on the walls. “[FIRST MIDDLE LAST]!” Mom yelled really loudly. “WHY DID YOU draw a little dot on the wall!” “[FIRST]!” my dad snapped. “You are not going to have chocolate chip pie for 1 month.” “Ha. Ha, ha, haaaa, ha, stinky head!”* said [Brother]. “You are not having apple juice for 3 months.”

*do not say this to your mom or dad

Chapter 2

Now after 2 months I am getting bored. “When is my grounding over?” I asked. “After another two months,” my mom said.

Chapter 3

It’s been 4 months and I am not grounded anymore. “Hurray!” I shouted.

Dear neighbors…

November 24, 2010July 30, 2025Moriah

( … who would know this blog existed if you ever bothered to come talk to us … )

We are not obligated to go ’round the neighborhood introducing ourselves and presenting ourselves for your approval as The Right Kind of People. Not when we moved in five years ago. Not now.

It’s yours. Your obligation to come to us to find out who we are. Until you do that, your judgments about us are your problem, not ours.

If you had come to our door, you might have realized we are quiet, well-educated and well-traveled people who live our lives with honor and dignity. The county government and police department have, fortunately, already realized this, thanks to your meddling.

You will not take that dignity and quiet away from us because you hate that your 40-year neighbor died and we bought her house. You will not take that dignity and quiet away from us because you hate that the neighborhood demographic changed nearly overnight from the nearly dead to the newly hatched. You will not take that dignity and quiet away from us because we don’t spend 24/7 working on our lawns because we’re too busy working on improving the whole of our lives.

We pay the same taxes you do, even though we don’t make as much money as you made when you were working, and you are now retired on the Social Security we are paying. You can judge us and co-opt our children when you start paying our mortgage, for the infrastructure repairs you can’t see on this 45-year-old house, and for someone to keep our lawn for us.

If our biggest sins are that we keep to ourselves, we’re quiet, and we let our tax deductions have a bit more physical freedom than you deem is proper, and we don’t have as much money or free time as you do, we can live with that.

No, we aren’t The Right Kind of People. And if you are, then we don’t want to be.

And oh, P.S. We don’t need to be friends with you. We need you to mind your own business.

Do not go gentle

July 2, 2010July 30, 2025Moriah

My Dragon Lady died yesterday.

Ta ta for now, Rosella. See you in a bit.

Foci and projects for 2010

January 1, 2010July 31, 2025Moriah

1. Finish Magdalene.

2011: Widowed Mormon bishop and steel magnate Mitch meets corporate restructuring specialist Cassie St. James, a former prostitute. As they navigate a relationship, they work together to stop a man who’s destroying everything Mitch holds dear.

2. Make some pretty things.

a) An afghan (Tunisian crochet, the only kind I like) for XX TD.

A small swatch of Tunisian crochet in variegated ombré acrylic yarn, with crochet hook — the beginning of XX’s coverlet

b) A Hobbes doll for XY TD.

3. Get better at the ebook formatting thing.

a) Continue self-tutoring in SVG so I can get The Fob Bible completely digitized (text, no problem, but it’s graphics heavy).

b) Give more priority to embedding fonts.

4. Shamelessly rip off RJ Keller’s 2010-in-photos idea.

5. Get my foyer, living room, and dining room decorated and my art up on the walls, including my kitschy matadors ~1950 and my cheap bought-out-of-a-car-trunk-in-a-parking-lot-but-expensively-framed Pissarro.

A framed print of Camille Pissarro’s impressionist painting The Garden of Les Mathurins, property of the Deraismes Sisters, Pontoise — Camille Pissarro, The Garden of Les Mathurins, property of the Deraismes Sisters, Pontoise

Two small framed prints of big-eyed dolls/children dressed up as Spanish matadors, with their “swords” being candy canes. — big-eyed MCM art baby matadors ~1960s, artist unknown

6. Expose my real identity to you all (in case you haven’t figured it out already and no, my real name is not famous in the least bit) and my artsy-fartsy business because I think you might like it. But to do that, I need to work on the super-outdated website.

7. Get The Fob Bible into college curricula, where I think it belongs best.

8. Implement some fun ideas I have for The Proviso et al.

9. Get back on the low-carb wagon, exercise, and load up on the probiotics/coconut oil.

10. Sit down and relax, watch a movie with Dude once a week or so.

There. I fixed it.

I’m outtie …

December 20, 2009July 31, 2025Moriah

… for the rest of the year, most likely. I reserve the right to come back and rant. It is my blog, after all.

Many projects on the table, most of which I’m behind on (oh, there’s a surprise):

Re-doing my foyer and living room. What, you thought my DIY re publishing thing is a new development? No. I’ve been a DIYer at heart since I saw the first episode of This Old House when I was a wee bairn (as in, their first episode, too).
Christmas chores. You all know what they are. But I’ve recently got a yen to quilt us a new tree skirt. That will have to wait until next year.
Much cooking and cleaning in preparation for my family’s big Christmas Eve shindig. Moms, dads, inlaws, outlaws, aunts, uncles, cousins, and babies. Lots and lots of babies. Very fun having the biggest house in the family. Ah, but I love Christmas Eve, almost more than Christmas Day (you know, now that we are Santa). Also? I love my mom’s cookies. And I love my Christmas punch (see previous post).
Probably some yard work. I really need to get out and mow my lawn.
More weatherproofing.
Fandamnily outing to see the Plaza Christmas lights. (Photos by Eric Bowers, KC Photographer extraordinaire who also does a lot of Manhattanscapes—you must visit his blog and galleries and message board. Really.)

An enhanced image of the Country Club Plaza at Christmas in Kansas City, Missouri at twilight ©Eric Bowers

A fisheye image of the Country Club Plaza, J.C. Nichols Parkway, at Christmas, in Kansas City, Missouri at night. ©Eric Bowers — 47th & Broadway. If you read THE PROVISO, you know what Giselle did near here. For the nitty gritty details, see *Dirty Little Secrets*.

A small aluminum Christmas tree with white lights and red ornaments, standing on a red box.

And, last but not least, the Darling Day Job (feeling blessed at the moment).

My blue tree from the last two years turned red this year.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Mojo, Dude, XX and XY Tax Deductions!

The core of genre romance

November 17, 2009August 1, 2025Moriah

For every woman who’s made a fool of a man, there’s a woman who’s made a man of a fool. —Samuel Hoffman (near as I can tell)

I read this quote long, long ago, and I swear to high heaven it was in one book of Anne Rice’s vampire trilogy (maybe Queen of the Damned?).

It resonated with me then and it still does, and I finally figured out why.

This sentiment is the heart and soul of genre romance: What woman doesn’t like to think she has that much power in either direction?

Blog award! Premio Dardas

November 9, 2009August 1, 2025Moriah

To be honest, I have been given two of these puppies and I haven’t been gracious enough to acknowledge them publicly. I apologize.

So, the first one is from Rae Lori from way back in February. Aarrggghhh. So embarrassed. Especially since I like her writing voice. Very calm and sweet (what I’ve read of her).

An abstract image. This is the Premio Dardas Award, which …

… acknowledges the values that every Blogger displays in their effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values with each message they write. Awards like this have been created with the intention of promoting community among Bloggers. It’s a way to show appreciation and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web.

These are the rules:

Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person that has granted the award and his or her blog link.
Pass the award to 15 other blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgment.
Remember to contact each of them to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Well, screw the rules (as usual). I’m just going to list a few of the blogs I read on a semi-regular basis, in no particular order.

If you’re in this list and you see yourself, considered yourself to have been tagged and you are now it. Otherwise, thank you for some awesome stuff you give me to think about on a regular basis.

Biting my tongue

November 2, 2009July 31, 2025Moriah

Blogs are, by their very nature, niche. One person, or a group of like-minded people, write stuff that generally espouses one point of view. Dissenting opinions are usually always welcome, but even those with opposing opinions like those blogs for whatever reason and become regulars.

Then we have the people who stumble across a blog whose agenda doesn’t coincide with their own, and they do a hit‘n’run. I did this once (that I remember) and I was very embarrassed with myself. I had no reason to haul off on that guy. I went back and apologized, but the damage was done and I can’t take that back.

So here’s a study:

One message board where I lurk is an active, established community of self-publishers, and a certain couple of traditionally published authors swoop in from time to time to berate them how deluded they are. Um, okay. Thanks? If you don’t like what those people are doing/saying, don’t go there.

On a blog where I lurk, a post hit a hot button of mine, but I almost never post there and I didn’t want to do like I’ve done before and swoop in to tell them all to shove it, because, well … I’m not an active participant otherwise. Why would I do that? All I have to do is not go there.

It’s taken me nearly 40 years to learn that keeping my mouth shut gets me in a lot less trouble than opening it.

But sometimes … it’s a fight to keep from saying something.

I lost this round. *sigh*

Redecorating again

October 21, 2009July 31, 2025Moriah

Okay, my last theme was annoying me to death. Could barely stand to look at it. I’m working on the sidebar now because, you know, i R a righter and I gotz me sum bookz to sell. Need to make it easy for you to get there to buy them.

Anyway, this is much cleaner and easier on my eyeballs. I hope to get back to blogging semi-regularly, too.

The internet before Al Gore

October 20, 2009July 31, 2025Moriah

Picture of a little boy at a diner with food all over his mouth. — XY TD on a trip to Hy-Vee with Mama.

Yeah, the joke’s tired. Sue me.

Anyway, 3-almost-4-year-old XY Tax Deduction and I went to Hy-Vee for lunch to kill some time. I love Hy-Vee’s salad bar (best grilled chicken EVER!) and XY TD loves their pizza. And cantaloupe. On the same plate.

It has been my observation that on weekday mornings at Hy-Vee, there is a large number of post-retirement gentlemen sitting around, eating their farmer’s breakfasts and gossiping shooting the breeze, cussing and discussing. They seem to be mostly together, but because of tables and space, they self-select their table companions.

A small brick diner with a sign that says CAFÉ. It has been my observation that on weekends when we go see my in-laws in southern Missouri, and we go to the local cafe for breakfast, there is a gathering of four to 10 post-retirement gentlemen sitting around, eating their farmer’s breakfasts and gossiping shooting the breeze, cussing and discussing.

It has been my observation in re-reading the Little House books for the purpose of writing Stay, Pa Ingalls, in the winter, would head out of the house and across the street to the grocery where he would watch off-season farmers play checkers and, I assume, gossip shoot the breeze, cuss and discuss.

Four old men sitting in an old café eating breakfast. — Men don’t gossip. They ***shoot the breeze***.

Women have these little conclaves, too, but other than in a church-and-crafts context, I can’t think of anything comparable to men-and-their-morning-cafe-routine.

Every time I witness this, I think, “This is the internet before there was the internet.” And it still seems to be going strong. I love it. I think it’s profound in a lot of different ways, most of which I can’t articulate.

Too bad you have to be retired (or in the off season) to have it and enjoy it.

It’s work time.

September 7, 2009July 31, 2025Moriah

I have nothing to say and too much to do. I meant to get my edits on Stay finished this weekend, but the widespread ~~WordPress attack~~ [dead link] hit theproviso.com and I spent my weekend, instead, cleaning up after that mess. And I still have a bunch to do before I’m satisfied with my sites.

The blog I just linked made the assertion that we should’ve upgraded. I made a deliberate decision not to because the last time I auto-upgraded, it broke my shopping cart and photo gallery plugins. I had to rebuild Peculiar Page’s shopping cart twice (which still doesn’t work and redirects to B10 Mediaworx), and B10 Mediaworx’s once, which, thankfully, works. To me, it was a no-win situation and in hindsight, I see that I would’ve had to waste all that time anyway.

There was one thing that kept me from being hit on all my other sites, and that was the fact that I didn’t have “Anyone can register” checked. Only on theproviso.com did I have that, and sure enough, that was the one that went down.

I made a Zazzle store for products with quotable quotes from or inspired by The Proviso and Stay. Culled them from fans, and I’m nowhere close to finished, but I’m trying to be more like the musicians who can merchandise the hell out of their music. Now, if I could figure out a way to go on tour …

In other news, ~~Mrs. Giggles says she’s bored with romance bloggerland~~ [dead link]. So’m I, for all the reasons she listed. And you know, as much as I hate feeling like every time I post somewhere or tweet, it’s self-promotion (because it is, except most of my Twitterstream is me being completely ~~silly~~ stoopid or whining about something), at least I don’t have 90 days or fewer to make certain my sales numbers are enough to sell another book. That’s not a brag. It’s a statement of gratitude. I’m bored of most of all the rest of my regular blogs, too.

I also won’t be reading much of anything for pleasure.

Anyhoo, I’m making my blog vacation official since, you know, I haven’t actually said anything in a week or so because I tend to not speak when I have nothing new to say. Check my archives. Whatever it is, I’ve said it already. Twice.

I have much to do before Thanksgiving and I intend to get it all done.

Stuff tacked to my office wall, part 1

July 30, 2009July 31, 2025Moriah

On power:

You have to come to it on your own, through hardship and fear. You have to know who you are and what you believe and you have to take stock of that every day. You have to walk barefoot through fire on broken glass. You have to stand up to people who frighten you under conditions that terrify you. You have to be honest with yourself about what you really want. You have to be willing to fail.

Power is acquired, earned. You’ll have many opportunities in your life to earn bits and pieces of it. You’ll make bad choices; learn from them and do the best you can with them. Do not, under any circumstances, dither over what the right choice might be every single time you’re presented with one. It won’t teach you anything and you’ll be a bore at cocktail parties.

Acquiring power is a never-ending process. Every day you have to wake up and prove to the world all over again that you deserve it. There should never come a day when you wake up and say, ‘Okay, I’m powerful now; I’m done.’ Never.

—Giselle to Justice, The Proviso

Another vignette

July 19, 2009July 31, 2025Moriah

If you read The Proviso, you know that the protagonist of “John 3:16,” Leah, lives with Knox for five years and that, at the beginning of The Proviso, she and Knox are about to get married.

This is for those of you who wondered why Leah went back to Knox.

And oh, by the way, it’s steamy.