My Dragon Lady died yesterday.
Ta ta for now, Rosella. See you in a bit.
love
Tales from the cryptergarten
The 5-year-old Tax Deduction has just informed me that [insert Trendy white-bread Suburban Male Name here]’s mom and dad are always fighting.
Me: So do they fight at school in front of the children?
TD1: No. At home.
Me: Is [TSMN] upset about this?
TD1: No. They don’t want to be together anymore.
Me: Oh, really? How do you know this?
TD1: [TSMN] told me.
Me: Hmm. Do YOUR mommy and daddy fight?
TD1: No. [beat] Do you?
Me: No … We discuss things.
TD1: Is that like fighting?
Me: Only if we have loud voices and yelling. Have you heard us do that?
TD1: No. And [insert Trendy white-bread Suburban Female Name here]’s mom and dad, too.
Me: [TSFN]’s too?
TD1: Yeah. They don’t want to be together, either.
Me [aside to self]: Two meanest kids in the class.
The definition of honor
The XX Tax Deduction is 5 and in kindergarten. All day. She has an account she can use to pay for her breakfast and lunch, and we just put money in it from the web. Nifteee. Yet … she comes home every day and says, “I’m STARVED!” Oh, really? Have a snack.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, we found out she’s been throwing her entree in the trash wholesale. Every day. And she’s starved when she comes home from school? Well, lemme tell ya. Two parental unit heads blew up. So.
We cut her off. Now, she’d been begging to let her take lunch to school in her nifty Dora lunch box (not a real one, just a little play tin thing), but we wouldn’t let her. So we knew that sending lunch to school with her would be no punishment. But … she loves having breakfast at school and always eats all of it.
Bye bye school breakfast. That made her howl.
Bye bye school lunch, bye bye Dora tin-with-a-handle thing, bye bye hot variety.
Today is day 5 of bologna-and-cheese-on-white-with-Miracle-Whip, cheese cubes, and a bag of carrots. In a brown paper bag. Welcome to my childhood, kid, enjoy. She was forbidden to try to access her account and she was told to bring home whatever she didn’t eat. Today is also day 5 she didn’t eat her lunch and brought it home, ate it after school because she was STARVED and wasn’t allowed anything else until she did.
Except today … Her current best friend had his birthday party, for which his mother brought the class pizza for lunch. Since we had not anticipated such a thing happening, we didn’t tell her she could eat whatever was brought as a treat.
Even though she loves pizza above all other foods and it broke her heart to watch the other kids eat, she didn’t have any.
Because we told her she had to eat the lunch we gave her and nothing else.
Got you on my mind
Here’s to me and Dude, who got married 6 years ago in the LDS Nauvoo, Illinois temple (very soon after it re-opened). Yeah, we got married on a Friday. The 13th. On purpose.
Dude likes funny ties, but Serious Ties not so much. I’m not keen on the Stooges and I thought Spongebob Squarepants was hilarious—but he didn’t. We have been at a tie impasse ever since. Until today.