{"id":150,"date":"2008-10-09T08:44:18","date_gmt":"2008-10-09T13:44:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/mojo\/?p=150"},"modified":"2025-07-31T21:36:56","modified_gmt":"2025-08-01T02:36:56","slug":"fashion-pedophiles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/blog\/fashion-pedophiles\/","title":{"rendered":"In which fashion pimps for pedophiles"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yo, New York. Milan. Bentonville.<\/p>\n

\"AI\u2019m tired of having to tart my 5-year-old FEMALE Tax Deduction up like a 63rd & Prospect streetwalker. There\u2019s this thing called a waist. There\u2019s this other thing called a waistBAND. The waistBAND should come up all the way to the waist.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. I do not have the time nor inclination nor money to sew my TD\u2019s jeans. I know how. Sorta. They\u2019d look homemade and I don\u2019t want my TD to come home crying because she got laughed at about her homemade jeans.<\/li>\n
  2. It\u2019s not like I don\u2019t want her to be fashionable. I just don\u2019t want her to be Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears at 5 or until she can pay for her own damned clothes and the laundering thereof.<\/li>\n
  3. This is not out of some outraged sense of modesty or affront to church standards, either. She\u2019s FIVE YEARS OLD. She\u2019s a target just by being five. I spose the gender doesn\u2019t matter much these days.<\/li>\n
  4. I\u2019m not even saying get rid of low-rise, but SHIT! Give me an alternative, eh? You give me boot-cut and straight-leg and bells, but you don\u2019t give me a choice on rise?<\/li>\n
  5. If she does want to tart up like Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears in the future, I could deal with it better if I could point my nightmarishly teenager-girl-ish Tax Deduction to her contemporaries who have a waistBAND touching their actual WAIST and tell her where she needs to shop. And, oh, the thrift stores are no better because they\u2019re backing up on the last 5 (that I know of) years of other little tax deductions who outgrew their 4- and 5-year-old skin-tight, low-rise skank makers.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Every time I go clothes shopping for this kid I get pissed off about this and then I forget about it\u2014right up to the point I have to take her shopping again. I can find modest blouses, no problem. It\u2019s the jeans and khakis that are giving me fits. Or not. If anybody has a source for high-rise jeans\/khakis online, I\u2019ll take it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Yo, New York. Milan. Bentonville. I\u2019m tired of having to tart my 5-year-old FEMALE Tax Deduction up like a 63rd & Prospect streetwalker. There\u2019s this thing called a waist. There\u2019s this other thing called a waistBAND. The waistBAND should come up all the way to the waist. I do not have the time nor inclination […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[87,95],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-money","category-sex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=150"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17095,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions\/17095"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}