{"id":855,"date":"2009-07-18T08:33:40","date_gmt":"2009-07-18T14:33:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theproviso.com\/?page_id=855"},"modified":"2026-02-22T18:58:13","modified_gmt":"2026-02-22T23:58:13","slug":"the-stone-was-rolled-away","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/extras\/vignettes-outtakes\/dirty-little-secrets\/the-stone-was-rolled-away\/","title":{"rendered":"The Stone Was Rolled Away"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

APRIL 1999<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

LEAH WINCED WHEN the door slammed and turned away so Knox wouldn\u2019t see her tears, her heartbreak. She bowed her head and put her face in her palm to sob quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re free to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

His voice came somewhere out of the darkness. Low. Lifeless.<\/p>\n

She whirled. \u201cIs this what you wanted?\u201d she screamed at him. \u201cTo humiliate me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did<\/em> you want then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou.\u201d<\/p>\n

She stared at his silhouette, dark against the vague light of the sconce behind him. His hands were propped on his naked hips and his head was bowed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI told you that already,\u201d he muttered after a moment, reluctant, as if it were an admission of guilt. \u201cI couldn\u2019t have you any other way.\u201d<\/p>\n

That thoroughly shocked her, but for which reason of several, she couldn\u2019t say.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome to stay the rest of the night if you want, but \u2026 you don\u2019t have to. Our \u2026 bargain\u2014 I\u2014 It\u2019s done.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah felt herself drawn into this conversation the way she\u2019d get drawn in by a gory traffic accident as she drove by the scene. \u201cWhat do you want me to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

His head snapped up. Though she couldn\u2019t see him staring at her in the darkness, she could feel it. \u201cDo you really want to know?\u201d<\/p>\n

For no reason Leah could fathom, she blurted, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

He hesitated. \u201cI \u2026 would like you to stay.\u201d That wasn\u2019t all he\u2019d meant to say. She didn\u2019t know how she knew that, but she did.<\/p>\n

A normal woman would go find her clothes and flee. She would flee straight to the FBI or \u2026 whoever \u2026 could put this man away for what he\u2019d done.<\/p>\n

A normal woman would have let her daughter pay for her own sins.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cFor how long?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs long as you want.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah turned without a word and walked into the bedroom. She dropped the robe she wore\u2014his\u2014and climbed back into the beautiful bed where she\u2019d found sexual enlightenment. She couldn\u2019t say why that was important to her at this moment: Perhaps it was the darkness. Perhaps it was her confusion. Perhaps it was a lifetime of stasis thrown into dramatic and orgasmic chaos by a beautiful young man.<\/p>\n

\u201cLeah?\u201d he said warily from the doorway.<\/p>\n

She turned over in bed, presenting her back to him.<\/p>\n

Yes, she was furious with him.<\/p>\n

No, she didn\u2019t want to leave right now.<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t understand it, but it was late and Rachel had cut the last piece of her heart out of her body.<\/p>\n

I hate you. I hope I never see you again.<\/em><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t the first time she\u2019d ever said it, and it wouldn\u2019t be the last.<\/p>\n

Funny, of all the things that angered her about this entire week, Knox\u2019s striking Rachel was not among them.<\/p>\n

She felt the tickle of a tear running down her cheek even as the bedclothes whooshed back and the mattress depressed.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t touch her in an effort to seduce her yet again, which was okay, but \u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cGo to sleep, Leah,\u201d he murmured, gently running his fingers through her hair, stroking her, petting her.<\/p>\n

Yes \u2026 sleep, something she hadn\u2019t had much of for the last two weeks, and now she didn\u2019t have to worry about getting back to her motel room as a show for Rachel.<\/p>\n

THE SUN AWOKE HER.<\/p>\n

Her eyes opened slowly, not sure what she\u2019d see, as she had always departed before dawn. Knox was an early riser and his definition of a full night didn\u2019t extend to sunrise.<\/p>\n

What she actually saw shocked her so badly she began to cry again, silently, the way she had always cried, her tears wasted into cloth as she lay beside McLean in the darkness. Lying upon Knox\u2019s pillow \u2026<\/p>\n

A white rose.<\/p>\n

A long blue velvet box.<\/p>\n

A key.<\/p>\n

A note.<\/p>\n

Leah wiped her face with the tail of the pillowcase, then haltingly reached out for the note, dreading what it might say that would humiliate her further:<\/p>\n

\"I\u2019m<\/div>\n

She choked and the tears blurred her vision and stung her eyes.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry<\/em>, he said. Didn\u2019t he think about that before<\/em> he\u2019d blackmailed her into bed?<\/p>\n

I want you \u2026 I couldn\u2019t have you any other way.<\/em><\/p>\n

Remorse?<\/p>\n

Not true remorse, no. Leah didn\u2019t believe it for a moment. It was the remorse of having gotten caught out. He\u2019d had no punishment<\/em>, but true remorse would have prompted him to let her go far earlier than this, after<\/em> their bargain was done.<\/p>\n

Perhaps she should be grateful he\u2019d honored the bargain at all.<\/p>\n

She reached out and lightly ran her fingertips over the soft jewelry box. She sat up, leaving her torso bare. It vaguely occurred to her as she picked it up that only a week before, she would have covered her breasts, even though she lived alone.<\/p>\n

Now \u2026 she had no reason to.<\/p>\n

Her breath caught in her throat at the diamonds and pearls that winked back at her once she\u2019d opened the lid. A bracelet, with matching earrings.<\/p>\n

Did he consider this payment for services rendered or was this a gift of appreciation, of want, of remorse?<\/p>\n

She looked at the rose and the key. She didn\u2019t know what \u201cwhite\u201d meant in rose language, nor did she think a man would know, so perhaps it had no symbolism beyond what a rose given usually meant. The key, on the other hand \u2026<\/p>\n

It was a house key. She could tell by the three triangular holes in the head.<\/p>\n

As long as you want.<\/em><\/p>\n

It was Saturday and he was gone. He had to be; the house was too still.<\/p>\n

Why?<\/p>\n

No, she didn\u2019t have to ask that. He\u2019d gone to his office, immersed as he was in the prosecution of Rachel\u2019s boyfriend, Joe, who could die and rot in hell for all Leah was concerned.<\/p>\n

Leah trembled in anger as she looked down at the exquisite jewelry and the beautiful rose Knox had given her. Her hips were bare under the covers and her torso nude to the morning breeze that whispered through the pretty mullioned window. Before this week \u2026<\/p>\n

She\u2019d never slept naked.<\/p>\n

She\u2019d never had an orgasm.<\/p>\n

She\u2019d never been given jewelry other than her simple gold wedding band.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, McLean,\u201d she whispered, angry. So angry now for so many reasons she couldn\u2019t begin to sort them out.<\/p>\n

With which man, she didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

McLean, for barely keeping a roof over her head and leaving her nearly penniless, with no provision for his death because it was one of those Things Polite People Don\u2019t Talk About \u2026<\/p>\n

Or Knox.<\/p>\n

For showing her in one week what she\u2019d missed in twenty years of marriage.<\/p>\n

She wasn\u2019t sure, but perhaps she was more angry about that than about the way Knox went about getting her in bed.<\/p>\n

Gritting her teeth, refusing to think about what to do with the things Knox had given her, she swept out of bed and walked naked across the room, across the hall to the restroom. She stopped short when she saw herself \u2026 nude \u2026 and forced herself to really look<\/em> at herself without shame.<\/p>\n

Breasts still pert\u2014 Was that normal for a woman her age? She didn\u2019t know; she had no basis for comparison. Flat stomach. Wide hips, though. She worked to keep her body looking acceptable, but it was unreasonable to compare herself to what she saw in magazines. Besides, her motive was to keep osteoporosis and heart disease away; a reasonably fit body was a side effect.<\/p>\n

The face that stared back at her didn\u2019t seem any different than it had for years, so she didn\u2019t figure she was a good judge of how old she really looked. Her only vanity, her hair, was a light auburn naturally, and her only splurge was that she kept it that way. Her dark auburn pubic hair hadn\u2019t yet faded to gray.<\/p>\n

Her knees nearly buckled with the weight of the desire that overcame her, staring the V between her legs, remembering what Knox had done to her this week.<\/p>\n

He liked putting his mouth there, between her legs, licking her there, putting his tongue up inside her, making her hips buck up off the bed and screech with the power of the sensations rolling through her.<\/p>\n

She\u2019d never known people did that.<\/p>\n

As she watched herself in the mirror, she put her hand flat against her stomach and slowly stroked downward.<\/p>\n

Touch yourself, Leah.<\/em><\/p>\n

Knox, no, I \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Do it.<\/em><\/p>\n

She\u2019d done it.<\/p>\n

Cautiously. Frightened.<\/p>\n

Of what, she didn\u2019t know, but \u2026<\/p>\n

He\u2019d opened her legs for her, taken her hand, put it there, taken her middle finger and put it on that little pea-sized protrusion she had never felt until his tongue found it.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right. That\u2019s your clit. Stroke it.<\/em><\/p>\n

She knew what it was. She hadn\u2019t become a registered dietitian without anatomy classes, but she had never known how it looked or felt. She\u2019d never explored by sight or by touch, and McLean had certainly never done so.<\/p>\n

McLean had never seen her naked, sex being another one of those Things Polite People Do But Don\u2019t Enjoy.<\/p>\n

No, no. I\u2019m not going to help you. I want to watch you learn how to do this yourself.<\/em><\/p>\n

Knox had propped her up with a stack of pillows, bent her knees, spread her wide, placed her hands, then sat at the foot of the bed facing her, his knees pressing hers open. But he\u2019d guided her hands anyway, watched her, directed her some more, talked to her low and soothingly.<\/p>\n

Encouraging her.<\/p>\n

Teaching her.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be shy, Leah. I\u2019m not going to make fun of you. Relax. Think about how my tongue feels there.<\/em><\/p>\n

A thirty-one-year-old man teaching a forty-six-year-old woman how to masturbate.<\/p>\n

Unbelievable.<\/p>\n

She\u2019d found her clitoris, stroked it the way he\u2019d instructed, found herself catching her breath.<\/p>\n

Other hand, now. Put your fingers up inside you, the way I do.<\/em><\/p>\n

She\u2019d done as instructed, half afraid of \u2026 something \u2026 she didn\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n

Then she came.<\/p>\n

Arched her back.<\/p>\n

Closed her eyes and groaned as her body clenched around her own fingers and she felt Knox\u2019s big, warm hands around her inner thighs, keeping her open. She\u2019d felt his long, hard legs under hers, supporting them.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right, Leah. Let yourself go. Feel it \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Leah moaned, gasped as she came right then, sitting on the bathroom floor and watching herself in the mirror, remembering Knox teaching her how to please herself.<\/p>\n

Of all the things Knox had given her \u2026<\/p>\n

She sagged back against the wall, tired, confused, sated (for the moment), and smelling of sex. She sniffed her fingers and wondered that the acrid scent didn\u2019t really disgust her; it wasn\u2019t pleasant, but it wasn\u2019t un<\/em>pleasant, either, and she couldn\u2019t reconcile it.<\/p>\n

McLean had been an elder at the Lynwood, Texas Church of the Firstborn. He\u2019d been twelve years older than Leah and had certain opinions about what a husband and wife should and should not do together\u2014<\/p>\n

\u2014and Leah only just now realized it.<\/p>\n

She couldn\u2019t help her anger that he had left her to find this<\/em> with a man fifteen years her junior and who had gone about his seduction in a truly evil manner.<\/p>\n

Sex with McLean was a duty, and one not that often done, either. She\u2019d never known it could be enjoyed; no one had ever told her.<\/p>\n

Perhaps it was best she\u2019d never known, because surely she would have grown to resent him the way she was growing to resent him now.<\/p>\n

Leah arose slowly, slightly sore in muscles that she hadn\u2019t known could get sore.<\/p>\n

She showered and dressed.<\/p>\n

Packed up what little she had kept at Knox\u2019s; Rachel would have probably stolen everything from the motel room they\u2019d shared, but no matter. She wouldn\u2019t miss a few clothes and toiletries.<\/p>\n

She glanced at the rose and the note, the jewels and the key that still lay on the fine linens where she\u2019d left them, then decided to take them.<\/p>\n

It was the only thing she\u2019d have left of Knox, though why she wanted to remember him, she didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

WHEN SHE PULLED into her driveway the next evening, it was to see the secretary of Lynwood, Texas Church of the Firstborn lurking about her dirty picture window and peering in one of the three small diamonds in the front door.<\/p>\n

With new perspective, Leah studied her home, a small dingy tan brick ranch with mortar weeping \u201cdecoratively\u201d from between each course of masonry. It needed a good sandblasting to clean it. Her yard was a mess, but she\u2019d been gone two weeks. Not that that had made much difference; it wasn\u2019t a mess of good grass that had grown and gone to seed. It was a mess of weeds, and sparse at that, interspersed with patches of dirt. She had the worst house in an aging, rundown neighborhood.<\/p>\n

She swallowed with shame: hers or McLean\u2019s, she didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

It was all she could do to pay the mortgage, much less keep up her home or improve upon it. And now, after having finally called in to her answering machine this morning and listened to her messages, she wasn\u2019t even sure she had her job waiting for her in the morning.<\/p>\n

\u201cLeah!\u201d called Noreen as Leah emerged from her rattletrap car. Her brow wrinkled when she noticed how decrepit it was. How<\/em> had it made the round trip from Houston to Kansas City? \u201cWhere you been, honey?\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah looked up at Noreen as if meeting her for the first time, and perhaps she was. Noreen had always been a very good friend to her and McLean, always around for special occasions, celebrations, and generally made herself available to them.<\/p>\n

At Leah\u2019s age, Noreen was single, having never married, and Leah had always wondered why. She was an extremely attractive woman. She\u2019d been the church secretary for as long as she could remember, and it seemed she\u2019d taken McLean\u2019s death harder than Leah had.<\/p>\n

Leah opened her mouth, and said with a calm that astounded her, \u201cHow long were you in love with McLean?\u201d<\/p>\n

Noreen\u2019s eyes bulged and her mouth worked up and down, soundless. Leah would never have seen it and, further, never would have had the courage to ask the question, had not Knox shown her what she was missing.<\/p>\n

\u201cWere you sleeping with him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d she breathed, horrified. \u201cMcLean wasn\u2019t like that, Leah, you know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Not even with his wife.<\/p>\n

Leah wondered why she hated McLean at this moment far more than she hated Knox, who had demanded her virtue yet given her more in return than it was worth.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid McLean know?\u201d<\/p>\n

Noreen gulped. Well, that could mean anything, Leah supposed, but she felt that same strange serenity she\u2019d felt all the way from Kansas City to Houston. \u201cI don\u2019t\u2014 I don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

The diamonds in Leah\u2019s bracelet flashed and she looked down at it.<\/p>\n

So did Noreen, and an unfamiliar confidence flowed through Leah.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s pretty,\u201d Noreen said, but Leah couldn\u2019t tell if she wanted to weasel out of the awkward conversation or if she wanted to know how Leah could have come by something that fine. It hadn\u2019t come from Claire\u2019s, for sure, but Noreen was too polite to be that gauche. \u201cYou have\u2014 Uh, you have matching earrings.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah laughed, though it was more sad than funny.<\/p>\n

\u201cThese diamonds are probably worth more than my house,\u201d Leah murmured to herself, not caring that Noreen didn\u2019t realize she was eavesdropping.<\/p>\n

Yet another way Knox had taken care of her that McLean hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo home, Noreen,\u201d Leah finally said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou never said \u2026 about Rachel, I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah took a deep breath. \u201cRachel is \u2026 \u201d And Knox just kept on giving, doing what McLean never had. \u201cNot my problem anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWha\u2014?\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked at Noreen then, fully, and thought she shouldn\u2019t resent the woman because she had no real reason to. So she\u2019d been in love with Leah\u2019s husband; he hadn\u2019t had any more interest in her than he did Leah. In effect, they were in the same boat, but that didn\u2019t mean Leah wanted her around. \u201cPlease, just go home. I need to get a few things sorted out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Noreen looked about to cry. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Leah.\u201d<\/p>\n

People had been saying that a lot to her lately, all except the one person who should\u2019ve.<\/p>\n

But, again, perhaps that was for the best.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I help you with anything, at least?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, thanks. I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Or she would be as soon as she got a new life, because she certainly could not live like this anymore.<\/p>\n

Noreen left, and Leah walked across her knee-high-weed-ridden lawn to the front door, shaking out her keys. She chose the correct key by feel and shoved it into the lock.<\/p>\n

Which didn\u2019t turn.<\/p>\n

What?!<\/em><\/p>\n

She began to panic because \u2026 well, because. The last two weeks had been surreal enough, anything horrible was possible.<\/p>\n

Lifting the keyring to make sure she had the right key, she saw that she didn\u2019t. She had tried to slide Knox\u2019s key into her lock.<\/p>\n

She choked.<\/p>\n

I want you.<\/em><\/p>\n

One week, and she\u2019d miss his body beside hers in bed tonight.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re beautiful.<\/em><\/p>\n

McLean had refused to tell her that, even when she\u2019d asked. That\u2019s a vanity, Leah; we mustn\u2019t be prideful.<\/em><\/p>\n

She sighed and went into her house, opened it up, collected her mail from the floor, unpacked the few belongings Rachel had left in the motel room, and went to bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019M SORRY, LEAH, but two weeks \u2026 A week was hard enough, but I understood. Another week on such short notice? No, I don\u2019t think I can let that slide.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah stared at her boss stonily, her jaw clenching.<\/p>\n

One of those big tanned hands giveth, and the other taketh away: Her only way to make a living, and not likely to get a comparable job since she\u2019d burned this bridge and her options were slim and her profession was a small community.<\/p>\n

She looked at the bracelet around her wrist and wondered \u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d she said without another moment\u2019s hesitation, refusing to bow and scrape and beg the way her boss wanted her to. \u201cI\u2019m owed comp time. I have three weeks of sick time left and four of vacation. Since you don\u2019t think you can let that slide, I\u2019ll take every bit of that in cash, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her boss\u2019s mouth went slack.<\/p>\n

No, she hadn\u2019t expected that. Leah had never stood up to her in her entire history here, which was how she\u2019d ended up with so much comp time and sick time and vacation. She couldn\u2019t say no. She wasn\u2019t allowed<\/em> to say no, but now she had nothing left to lose and a place to go where someone wanted<\/em> her.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re lucky I don\u2019t sue you for not compensating me properly, and I will if you don\u2019t cough it up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah now understood cynicism. Her boss had never realized Leah knew that what she\u2019d done was illegal. Comp time in lieu of overtime. Well, now or later and if it were later \u2026<\/p>\n

As long as you want.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m leaving Houston as soon as I sell my house,\u201d Leah said calmly. \u201cI\u2019ll come back Wednesday for my check. I know exactly how much it should be. If it\u2019s not that, I\u2019ll call my lawyer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Whether he could practice law in Texas or not would be irrelevant to him; furthermore, she knew<\/em>\u2014somehow\u2014he\u2019d come if she called.<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise you don\u2019t want to mess with my<\/em> lawyer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, Leah, you know, maybe we could reconsider \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Wednesday by noon.\u201d<\/p>\n

The next morning, she went to the legal department of the hospital that sponsored her nutrition clinic with documentation down to the penny, made the same threat, and by the end of business, she had an almost five-figure check. It was possible her boss would lose her job over it, and Leah hoped she did.<\/p>\n

Leah did what she could do herself on her house to make it presentable enough to sell. She had a week-long garage sale and what she didn\u2019t sell by the time her house went on the market the week after that<\/em>, she carted off to Goodwill, leaving her with a few nice outfits, some knickknacks, and her important documents. She bought new toiletries and moved into a lovely hotel room until her house sold\u2014<\/p>\n

\u2014in two days, praise the Lord, which she took as His will. She would find a new church when she got where she was going.<\/p>\n

As soon as she had the cash, she traded in her car for a new one, one she knew would make the eight-hundred-mile trip back. Straight out of the lot, she headed north on I-35 once again, but this time to begin her new life, not to clean up her old one.<\/p>\n

Her old life was as dead as her husband.<\/p>\n

A CHUBBY LITTLE strawberry blonde with frizzy hair, glasses, and braces opened Knox\u2019s door Friday evening, and Leah felt her world collapse.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi,\u201d said the girl, who looked to be somewhere in her early twenties, a little older than Rachel. \u201cWhat can I do for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYo, Giselle!\u201d Knox\u2019s voice from somewhere in the depths of the house, then his voice got nearer as he continued speaking. She saw past the girl, who had turned to watch him come out of the hallway that led to his bedroom, pulling a tee shirt down over his broad chest still spotted with water droplets. His hair was wet. \u201cWould you make me some favorite potatoes? Please? A couple, three pans, throw \u2019em in the freez\u2014 Leah,\u201d he breathed, his eyes wide.<\/p>\n

Leah didn\u2019t know what to say. Her original assumption probably wasn\u2019t correct, considering the girl\u2019s youth and what he\u2019d asked her to do, but \u2026 \u201cUm \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

The girl looked between Knox and Leah, then said, \u201cUh, yeah. I\u2019m heading home. Thanks, Knox.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d he said absently, waving her off, not breaking his stare with Leah.<\/p>\n

The girl, Giselle, held the door for Leah, who stepped in warily. She brushed by and out the door, letting it slam closed behind her.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s that?\u201d Leah asked calmly, surprising herself with the strength of her demand.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy cousin,\u201d he replied softly, as if it didn\u2019t occur to him that she had no right to ask, and wanted to allay her fears. \u201cI do her taxes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n

The diamonds flashed in the meager sunshine coming through the screen door, and caught his attention. Then it returned to her face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know how long I want to stay,\u201d she said, faking courage.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d he said slowly. \u201cAre you sure you want to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou wanted me,\u201d she said deliberately. There was only one conclusion he could draw from that, and he wasn\u2019t slow.<\/p>\n

He watched her carefully for a moment, then said, \u201cYou want to talk about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded, then said, \u201cUh, I was on my way to the airport to pick up a friend. Would you care to join me?\u201d<\/p>\n

So, this was it.<\/p>\n

She hadn\u2019t really thought about what returning to him would mean beyond being his lover, but\u2014<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to lock you in my bedroom, Leah,\u201d he murmured. \u201cI asked you to stay because I hoped you would want to see my life so you could make a decision as to whether you wanted to be part of it or not.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah chucked up her chin. \u201cMaybe all I want is sex.\u201d<\/p>\n

His mouth tightened. \u201cWell,\u201d he said brusquely, \u201cI guess I can\u2019t blame you for thinking that\u2019s all I\u2019d offer you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t think much past that, to tell you the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

A wide smile slowly grew on his face and she caught her breath at the change that true humor made in him. \u201cGlad to know I\u2019m that good in bed, then.\u201d He gestured toward the door. \u201cShall we?\u201d<\/p>\n

He opened the passenger door of his SUV for her, handed her in, and closed it, then strode around to the driver\u2019s side. She watched him, feeling as out of sorts as she ever had because this was a brand-new side of him she saw: A normal man, albeit more gentlemanly than most.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho are we picking up?\u201d Leah asked, as much to get McLean and all the levels of meaning of their relationship out of her head as to start a conversation.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnnie Franklin,\u201d Knox grunted as he climbed in and began the process of starting the car, backing out of the driveway, and going somewhere. \u201cShe\u2019s\u2014 Well, it\u2019s kind of hard to explain my relationship with her. I think of a lot of people in my life in terms of family, but they\u2019re not related to me in any way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, Annie is \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

He took a deep breath. \u201cMy little sister, I guess, if I had to label her. Maybe prot\u00e9g\u00e9e. Not sure. She just graduated from Princeton.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you have many people like her in your life?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. I have a daughter. She\u2019s not really. She\u2019s not even legally my ward or foster daughter or anything, but that\u2019s how I think of her. You probably won\u2019t meet her for a while. She left for college last week and she\u2019ll be going year-round so she can graduate early.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s her name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVanessa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere does she go?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNotre Dame. There are a couple of other kids I take care of in some way. Mentor. Eric. Dirk.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd your cousin.\u201d<\/p>\n

Knox shrugged that off. \u201cNaw, more like Giselle takes care of me. She\u2019s\u2014 Ah, well, she\u2019s my best friend.\u201d That disturbed Leah a bit, but she couldn\u2019t say why. \u201cYou don\u2019t need to feel threatened by her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Threatened? Was that that feeling? How did he know? She said nothing for a moment or two.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre there a lot of people in this world who love you?\u201d<\/p>\n

He cast her a sharp glance. \u201cIt would surprise you if there were?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d she said flatly. \u201cIt would.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLeah, if this is going to be a problem for you, why\u2019d you come back?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI came back because I had nowhere else to go and nothing to do there anyway,\u201d she snapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat were you doing before you ran up here to rescue Rachel from her stupidity?\u201d he snapped back.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had a job. Which I didn\u2019t have when I got back.\u201d<\/p>\n

He sucked in a deep breath, and rested his elbow on the ledge, rubbing his mouth while he drove. \u201cOkay,\u201d he mumbled. \u201cI deserved that.\u201d<\/p>\n

She stared at him unbelievingly, and the thought that had been only a vague mist in her subconscious began to gel: Was this an otherwise decent man whose unspeakably bad behavior was an anomaly?<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re crazy,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

He barked a surprised laugh. \u201cYeah, Leah. That I am. The sooner you come to terms with that, the easier it\u2019ll be to live with me for however long you want to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you generally like older women?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know how old I am?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cForty-six.\u201d<\/p>\n

He glanced at her, shock written all over his face. \u201cDamn<\/em>,\u201d he breathed reverently.<\/p>\n

\u201cKnox, I have an eighteen-year-old daughter. It shouldn\u2019t have surprised you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI kind of figured you had her young, like, seventeen or eighteen. I thought you were only a little<\/em> older than me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that going to bother you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShit, no.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah felt pride.<\/p>\n

It was sinful, pride, especially in one\u2019s appearance. A few times, at work, an attractive doctor had taken a second glance at her. She\u2019d felt it then but quashed it, guilty about attracting a man\u2019s attention, his lust.<\/p>\n

Men were vulnerable; it was the woman\u2019s place to protect them from their lusts.<\/p>\n

A twinge of guilt got her, but she wanted to let it go, to wallow in the pride, to cast away her old life, which included her old thoughts and habits and fears. Then again, Leah had slept with a stranger to save her daughter\u2019s miserable little life; after that, there wasn\u2019t much to salvage of her old life.<\/p>\n

Kansas City International Airport was a series of circles, the boarding gates accessible only a few feet from the curb. Knox parked right in front of the terminal and craned his neck to look for this \u201csister,\u201d and then he honked the horn and got out, the engine still running. A tall, lissome blonde with glasses perched on her nose huffed up at her bangs. The rest of her hair was wound up haphazardly in a fan-like arrangement on top of her head. She dragged her suitcases toward Knox, but he jogged toward her to pick them up.<\/p>\n

Then Leah understood the flip side of pride in one\u2019s attractiveness: Jealousy. It bit Leah.<\/p>\n

Hard.<\/p>\n

That girl was gorgeous, no matter how haggard she looked, no matter that she scowled at Knox and said something with a curled lip. He only laughed, which made her scowl deepen.<\/p>\n

The back door opened and she threw herself inside. \u201cOh, fuck you, Knox.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo thanks,\u201d came the amused and obviously well-worn response before she yanked the door closed. The back of the truck opened and Knox threw the girl\u2019s luggage in.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi,\u201d she said, firmly inserting herself between the bucket seats. \u201cI\u2019m Annie. You are?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLeah,\u201d she responded because she couldn\u2019t not.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d you get stuck with him?\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah stared at her. Up close and personal, she was even more beautiful.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t answer that,\u201d Knox muttered as he got in. \u201cShe\u2019s obnoxiously nosy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCall it what you want, but most people will tell you anything if you ask outright and act like they have a duty to tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe blackmailed me,\u201d Leah said, just to see what she\u2019d do.<\/p>\n

Knox shot her a look and Annie stared at her for a moment, then began to laugh. She rolled back to lie on the seat, giggle madly, kick her feet in the air.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s laughing because she believes you,\u201d Knox muttered as he pulled away from the curb and drove around the terminal circle to the exit.<\/p>\n

\u201cKnox, you are so fucked up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI pay for her room and board and this is what I get.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s because you think I\u2019m adorable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Leah listened to them go back and forth, she had no choice but to let go of her jealousy.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, where are we going?\u201d Annie asked when Knox zipped past his exit. \u201cI thought I was staying with you for the summer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChange of plans,\u201d Knox said heartily, flashing a grin at Leah. \u201cSince you\u2019re working at Decadence, maybe Giselle will let you live on her couch for the summer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat woman\u2019s a slave driver. I don\u2019t know why I let her boss me around.\u201d<\/p>\n

Knox laughed out loud. \u201cYou\u2019d pay her<\/em> to work at Decadence.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes she know I\u2019m suddenly homeless?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe might have a decent clue right about now, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle. Annie. Vanessa.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have any male<\/em> friends?\u201d Leah burst out. \u201cYour own age?\u201d<\/p>\n

Knox laughed. \u201cYes, Leah,\u201d he drawled, \u201cI do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah watched this man, happy, trading good-natured insults with a beautiful college graduate he thought of as a sister. She compared and contrasted it to the way he\u2019d finagled her into bed, with that hard expression and cruel sneer, and felt as if she\u2019d dropped into an entirely different man\u2019s life.<\/p>\n

As if she were a natural part of it and always had been.<\/p>\n

He had no reservations about her being here, in his car, in his house, in his bed, even though he knew next to nothing about her and despised\u2014struck<\/em>\u2014her only child. In lieu of putting her in prison.<\/em> He had no reservations about including her in his life immediately, introducing her to his loved ones and being, as far as she could tell, completely natural.<\/p>\n

As if it were normal for strange women to show up on his doorstep unannounced, uninvited (not really), and expecting to be taken to bed immediately.<\/p>\n

\u201cAna\u00efs, when do you walk?\u201d he asked, jolting Leah out of her musings.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot going to,\u201d she sniffed. \u201cI don\u2019t care about the pomp and circumstance. Show me the money.\u201d<\/p>\n

Knox threw a hand up in the air. \u201cWhy<\/em> did I even ask?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do not know. And quit calling me that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll call you whatever I damn well please. Ana\u00efs. Nin.\u201d The girl growled, but Leah caught the sly glance Knox cast her way. \u201cDo you know who Ana\u00efs Nin is?\u201d he murmured.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re gonna find out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah tingled at his purr, but she didn\u2019t know why.<\/p>\n

\u201cEeww. Cut it out while I\u2019m in the car. Not in front of the children. Geez.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh ho! The Queen of the Frat Party objects.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do not know that for sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou cannot go more than two days without a man. And you better be careful with that because you know Giselle won\u2019t put up with it in her apartment.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSee, this is why I need to stay with you. You let me bring home whoever I want.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two went on, nattering at each other and Leah suddenly felt as if she had lain on an unfamiliar mattress, stiff, tense, ready to find fault with it, then the mattress had surprised her into relaxation. She felt as if she were melting into its unexpected warmth and comfort.<\/p>\n

This was not the same man who had blackmailed her into bed.<\/p>\n

So who was<\/em> he?<\/p>\n

Soon they traversed a bridge over a river into downtown Kansas City, and only a few moments after that, Knox pulled into a parking slip in front of a charmingly renovated old building with a sign that said, \u201cDecadence.\u201d Leah waited for Knox to open her door and hand her out, and she was hit with mouthwatering scents.<\/p>\n

\u201cHot damn!\u201d Annie crowed. \u201cBooks and chocolate all summer long.\u201d She darted into the building and out of sight.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is Giselle\u2019s place,\u201d Knox said softly. \u201cIn the middle, there\u2019s a bookstore. That\u2019s hers. On either side of her is a chocolatier and a patisserie. Those are her business partners\u2019. She lives on the second floor.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah said nothing, staring up at him, still dazed at events she could have never predicted.<\/p>\n

Knox bent toward her and she closed her eyes, opened her mouth, and let him work his magic on her. That<\/em>, at least, hadn\u2019t changed.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I missed you,\u201d he breathed into her mouth, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her close to him.<\/p>\n

And she missed him, that big, strong young body in bed next to hers, curled around her possessively, giving her pleasure and teaching her how to return it.<\/p>\n

\u201cForgive me, Leah,\u201d he whispered as he pulled away and stared into her eyes, those cold blue eyes now somewhere in the range of sapphire. \u201cI didn\u2019t know how else to do it, and I pretty much always get what I want.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand you want me,\u201d she murmured. \u201cI even understand you think I\u2019m attractive. But \u2026 how can you know that you really want me to stay? How do you know\u2014?\u201d She waved a hand, unsure of her question.<\/p>\n

He shook his head. \u201cI don\u2019t know. I just do. It\u2019s always been like that for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re so different now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no different. Just in a different context. I really am that cruel, Leah, that evil. Just not \u2026 right \u2026 now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

He pursed his lips. \u201cWhen we know each other better, I might tell you, but once you get settled in and then start exploring the city, you\u2019ll hear rumors. Believe. Them.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

She shivered in sudden fear.<\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t treat you badly ever again, Leah, but being my lover outside the house isn\u2019t going to be easy for you. Whatever you do in Chouteau County, wherever you go, if people know you\u2019re my lover, it may not go well for you. If you want to distance yourself from me at any time in any way, I\u2019ll understand. If that means you don\u2019t want to live with me, that\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

She swallowed. \u201cI need to get a job. Will that hurt me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPossibly. Depends on what you want to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a dietitian.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. It\u2019s up to you if you want to tell people. You don\u2019t have to work if you don\u2019t want to, but I\u2019d like you to have a life outside of me and my family. Spend your time however you want to.\u201d<\/p>\n

She blinked. \u201cAre you serious?\u201d<\/p>\n

He stared at her, confusion written all over his face. \u201cUh \u2026 Not sure which part of that you\u2019re asking about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMcLean, my husband, wouldn\u2019t let\u2014\u201d She snapped her mouth shut with a click. McLean was no longer part of her equation.<\/p>\n

Comprehension washed over his features and settled into a modicum of disdain. \u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you going to explain me to your mother?\u201d she asked dryly, attempting some humor to get out of the suddenly awkward conversation.<\/p>\n

Instead, the cruel young man with the cold eyes returned in a flash. \u201cMy mother<\/em> is not part of my life,\u201d he snarled. \u201cIf you meet her\u2014which I doubt\u2014you\u2019ll understand a few things a little more clearly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leah stared at him calmly and, for no reason she could discern, she raised her hand and stroked his cheek, rough with blond stubble.<\/p>\n

He blinked, bemused, his anger vanishing. \u201cI don\u2019t need a mother,\u201d he said gruffly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to be. I\u2019m not trying to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

He turned his mouth into her palm. Kissed it. \u201cI don\u2019t deserve you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou would do well to remember that.\u201d<\/p>\n

★<\/p>\n

20260222<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

APRIL 1999 LEAH WINCED WHEN the door slammed and turned away so Knox wouldn\u2019t see her tears, her heartbreak. She bowed her head and put her face in her palm to sob quietly. \u201cYou\u2019re free to go.\u201d His voice came somewhere out of the darkness. Low. Lifeless. She whirled. \u201cIs this what you wanted?\u201d she […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":39,"menu_order":4119,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-855","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/855"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=855"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/855\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23476,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/855\/revisions\/23476"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/39"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=855"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}