{"id":398,"date":"2009-01-01T18:29:31","date_gmt":"2009-01-02T00:29:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theproviso.com\/?page_id=398"},"modified":"2026-02-22T19:17:37","modified_gmt":"2026-02-23T00:17:37","slug":"beltane","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/extras\/vignettes-outtakes\/dirty-little-secrets\/beltane\/","title":{"rendered":"Beltane"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

MAY 2008<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

THE BONFIRE BLAZED, the flames licking high up into the starlit night through the wide ring of the treetops.<\/p>\n

The carefully tended acreage around them bloomed with colorful life, strategically lit to emphasize the way the master gardener had designed them for nighttime pleasure, for the nighttime pleasure she took with her lover.<\/p>\n

The creek rippled and whooshed arrogantly just past the bonfire as if to tell Fire that Water was its master, and Fire better not forget it.<\/p>\n

May 1.<\/p>\n

Beltane.<\/p>\n

The festival of flowers, sensuality, fertility, and delight.<\/p>\n

The perfect night for a wedding.<\/p>\n

Strains of Mendelssohn came from the hidden speakers all around Eilis\u2019s property, and she smiled as she closed her eyes, sniffing at the fragrance coming from the honeysuckle that climbed the stone walls and iron fence surrounding her swimming pool. She felt the slight breeze on her near-naked body and faintly tasted a hint of talc that drifted off her sleeping baby.<\/p>\n

She opened her eyes when she felt Sebastian\u2019s big hand encase one of hers, his big warm body pressed next to hers. He smiled at his son, his eyes reflecting the firelight. He looked to her then, held her gaze as he lifted her fingers to his lips and pressed a kiss into them.<\/p>\n

Suddenly shy, she smiled and felt the blush creep up her cheeks.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to paint you like this,\u201d Sebastian murmured as he inspected her, head to toe. Played with the baby\u2019s curls. \u201cGiselle and your tailor make a good team.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess,\u201d she whispered, still self-conscious about having her not-yet-recovered-and-newly-pregnant-again<\/em> belly bared, her breasts and hips vaguely covered with flower-and-leaf-studded lingerie. With her hair caught up in a tiara made of fresh cosmos, she looked like the Green Man\u2019s bride and indeed, she was. The Green Man himself wore simply a green-dyed leather loincloth, heavily embroidered in a leaf pattern.<\/p>\n

A few of Sebastian\u2019s enormous family\u2014Eilis was never<\/em> going to think of them as hers and, quite frankly, she didn\u2019t want to\u2014wandered around the estate laughing, eating, drinking, kissing their spouses, engaged in overt foreplay in the shadows. They were doing exactly what Sebastian had intended, as this, he had explained to her, was what Beltane was all about.<\/p>\n

Not \u2026 precisely<\/em>.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s <\/em>really about is throwing away the wedding ring for a night without recriminations.<\/em><\/p>\n

So tonight \u2026 ?<\/em><\/p>\n

You won\u2019t see that tonight. You\u2019re dealing with a bunch of Mormons who think this is strange enough, but they\u2019re willing to go along for the ride to indulge an eccentric relative. Even the most maverick draw the line somewhere and adultery\u2019s one of those lines. The ones who are active in the church are as invested in their demonstrations of obedience to the Lord as they are in their spouses. They know their limits and nobody will be doing or seeing anything they shouldn\u2019t.<\/em><\/p>\n

A few women were as bare as Eilis, but only Bryce was bold enough to wear a loincloth like Sebastian\u2019s, which, so Giselle had told her, was practically how he dressed every weekend to work on his stone projects.<\/p>\n

Justice had gone to a costume shop and found iridescent wings she could wear laced to the tiny green velvet harem vest that matched her tiny velvet skirt. Her face and pregnant body glimmered and glistened in the firelight from the iridescent makeup she\u2019d applied to her skin. The family called her Queen Mab as a half-joke, but it was no joke tonight.<\/p>\n

Giselle wore a green merrywidow, her breasts plumped up to emphasize the slim platinum diamond-and-emerald choker around her neck, and the long strands of diamonds, emeralds, and pearls wound into her hair. A ground-length skirt consisting only of hundreds of long pastel ribbons and ropes of white beads hung from the hem of her merrywidow. Every time she took a step, the ribbons and beads all fluttered and flew.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s Beltane, Eilis<\/em>, Giselle had said when Eilis questioned her outfit and plans for the night. I want to make love with my husband by the bonfire or in the woods.<\/em><\/p>\n

But you aren\u2019t pagan.<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t separate my sexuality and my spirituality. I think it\u2019s a gift from our Creators, just like nature is a gift, and I feel closer to them when I\u2019m in nature. Plus, I think there\u2019s truth in everything. Mormons do believe there\u2019s a Heavenly Mother as well as a Heavenly Father. We just don\u2019t assign her an active role in our lives.<\/em><\/p>\n

What do <\/em>you believe about the Goddess?<\/em><\/p>\n

I pray to both the Father and the Mother. But don\u2019t tell my mom or I\u2019ll have to hear a lecture about how we\u2019re supposed to respect her enough not to approach her.<\/em><\/p>\n

Eilis didn\u2019t really understand enough about Christianity\u2014or any other religion\u2014to grasp the depth of significance of all that even when Sebastian tried to explain it, but it didn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n

Once Sebastian had gotten serious about finding a coven, Eilis had decided to join him. They were making a new life together and because she wasn\u2019t tied to any doctrine, she didn\u2019t have a problem following Sebastian in this. She could think of worse things than rearing good children in a Wiccan household.<\/p>\n

However, with each meeting of each new coven, Sebastian grew more and more unhappy. A Wiccan, they\u2019d learned, had to create his own pantheon and moral code, and Sebastian didn\u2019t need or want to do that. He was perfectly happy with the cosmology he\u2019d been born with and most of the theology surrounding it. He simply resented the Christ dying for his sins<\/em> part.<\/p>\n

As for Eilis, she found comfort in evangelical Christianity simply because it had given her hope as a child, a vision of a better future, but she didn\u2019t need to go to church to remember its warmth and comfort, and she certainly did not want to rear her children with a faith that clashed with her husband\u2019s, especially since her only investment was gratitude and nostalgia.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Eilis! You look gorgeous!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

Eilis turned to see Lydia Blackwood coming toward them clad in a green lace sheath dress to her knees and green-dyed Keds on her feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cComing from a woman who hangs out with RuPaul, that\u2019s quite a compliment.\u201d<\/p>\n

She laughed. \u201cOh, he would love this. What a cute baby,\u201d she cooed. \u201cYou must be Alex.\u201d She turned when Jack caught up to her. \u201cDecided no?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGod, no,\u201d he snorted, looking down to button the plain white Oxford shirt tucked into plain jeans. \u201cI am too old for this bullshit. Taight is the fucking craziest bastard in the country.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd every country in Europe,\u201d came another amused male voice, its accent distinct.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, you made it!\u201d Jack exclaimed and grabbed Emilio Bautista in a bro-hug while another<\/em> of Sebastian\u2019s cousins, Victoria, the one who lived in Spain, hugged Lydia, her best friend for twenty-five years. \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTerror threats,\u201d Emilio said. \u201cPeople who are fighting for Catalonia to secede from Spain threatened airports in Andalusia.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no idea what you just said,\u201d Jack said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSimilar to the Irish insurgents.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had to drive to Madrid to get a plane out,\u201d Victoria explained to Lydia and Eilis once Jack and Emilio wandered off to join Sebastian, Knox, Morgan, and Bryce. \u201cSpeeding all the way. Every<\/em> flight out of southern Spain was grounded. I honestly didn\u2019t think we\u2019d make it on time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Eilis had never met Victoria so couldn\u2019t help but stare at her, as she had never seen a more beautiful woman in her life. She, too, was dressed conservatively, in white palazzo pants with a simple green silk shell top. Emilio was dressed just like Jack.<\/p>\n

\u201cVic,\u201d Lydia said, \u201cthis is Eilis Logan, the bride. Eilis, Victoria LaMontagne Bautista. Felix\u2019s sister.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHi,\u201d Victoria chirped right before Alex, who was also staring at Victoria, started fussing. Victoria rolled her eyes and huffed while Lydia started laughing. \u201cChildren hate me,\u201d she said matter-of-factly.<\/p>\n

Alex was, in fact, getting fussier. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey think I\u2019m an evil witch.\u201d<\/p>\n

Eilis\u2019s bottom lip dropped open. \u201cUh \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYours don\u2019t,\u201d Lydia pointed out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI would expect a baby out of my vagina to not cry every time it looks at me unless it\u2019s hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour stepson<\/em> didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked suddenly flummoxed. \u201cYeah, that\u2019s still a mystery.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, look! The preacher\u2019s here!\u201d Sebastian called, waving to a man strolling toward them.<\/p>\n

Bishop Mitch Hollander, who apparently had no more intention to dress thematically than the Bautistas or Blackwoods, wore khakis and a green rugby shirt. He saw the green loincloths and immediately cast both Bryce and Sebastian a glare. Sebastian smirked. Bryce coughed to cover a laugh. Mitch snapped at Sebastian in French for quite a while, his angry tone unmistakable in any language. Whatever he said made Sebastian grin and say something snarky back. Victoria snorted and called out her two francs which apparently appeased Mitch.<\/p>\n

It rather shocked Eilis that Mitch could<\/em> be appeased.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s gonna kick my ass<\/em> Sebastian had told Eilis gleefully when every Mormon in the family gaped at Sebastian when he told them what he was wearing. His mother had dressed him down very loudly and with much rage. Felix hadn\u2019t been much softer. Morgan had disapproved. When Sebastian explained to Eilis why, even she thought it was a little cruel to taunt them that way. I\u2019m not taunting them. My religion. My wedding. My right to be the Green Man. Not my fault the green apron\u2019s part of Mormon theology.<\/em><\/p>\n

Only its most sacred rituals.<\/p>\n

You wouldn\u2019t have thought of it at all had you not had experience with it.<\/em><\/p>\n

Okay, you made your point, and theirs, but I\u2019m doing it anyway.<\/em><\/p>\n

Victoria and Lydia both hugged Eilis before wandering off to catch up. Giselle was adjusting Justice\u2019s faery wings, which had gotten caught in her hair that glowed fire in the setting sun. Sebastian\u2019s Aunt Harriet was standing with her arm around her ex-daughter-in-law, who looked about ready to break down into sobs.<\/p>\n

In the middle of all this, Eilis was alone, but she didn\u2019t feel it. She was on her<\/em> land, her<\/em> son in her arms, her<\/em> lover happy and laughing with men he loved and considered brothers. She didn\u2019t need to be the center of attention nor did she feel left out of the women\u2019s bonding. She could observe quietly and enjoy it, knowing that in a few hours, she and Sebastian and Alex would again be the only ones in this park, encased within its walls.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s Daddy,\u201d she whispered in Alex\u2019s ear and pointed. \u201cWave at Daddy.\u201d The baby looked that way and flapped his hand, but Sebastian wasn\u2019t paying attention. He was so wound up with delight he was almost as hyperactive as Jack, so Eilis just watched. Sometimes she forgot what a god he was, tall, lean, strong, ripped and cut. He carried his clothing well, but no one would know that<\/em> was underneath the suits and yacht clothes, and now the only place he wore his girl-catchers was when he was working out or painting. She\u2019d \u2026 well, she\u2019d stopped seeing him.<\/p>\n

She liked that. It was comfortable, the comfort of an old married couple with a long history. It was sweet. Innocent.<\/em><\/p>\n

Mendelssohn faded away and the only music left was that of the park: the bonfire\u2019s crackle, the creek\u2019s merry burbles, the whisper of the breeze in the treetops, the hoots of owls. The baby shuddered sleepily against Eilis\u2019s shoulder, rearranged himself, sighed, smacked his lips, and settled into her shoulder to slip into slumberland.<\/p>\n

Sebastian held his hand out to her with a smile and she returned it, joining him to face Mitch.<\/p>\n

The family gathered silently to stand and watch and listen to Mitch\u2019s remarks, completely \u00e0 propos to Sebastian\u2019s beliefs, as Mitch said nothing about Christ<\/em> or Christian<\/em> theology. It seemed to Eilis that Mormonism could be cleanly bisected into cosmology<\/em> and salvation<\/em>, if one were inclined toward one or the other.<\/p>\n

Mitch directed Eilis to face Sebastian.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you be my Goddess and Gaia, Eilis?\u201d Sebastian whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlways and forever. Will you be my Artist and Green Man, Sebastian?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlways and forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAmen,\u201d said Bishop Hollander.<\/p>\n

The soft answer of many amens<\/em> echoed through the trees as Sebastian wrapped his arms around Eilis and kissed her, the child they had made together\u2014both children\u2014between them.<\/p>\n

So lost in her husband\u2019s kiss for so long, Eilis didn\u2019t notice that most of the family had started back toward the house and the rest had drifted off in their rightful pairs to the grottos and nooks they\u2019d chosen before the sun went down, until she and Sebastian slowly parted.<\/p>\n

Sebastian looked at Mitch. Mitch looked back at him and then Sebastian grasped Mitch to him in a bear hug.<\/p>\n

\u201cElder,\u201d Sebastian said, \u201cyou need a vacation. You look exhausted.\u201d<\/p>\n

Indeed, Eilis could see his fatigue even in the firelight.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am,\u201d Mitch returned, \u201cbut I can\u2019t right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell you what. Send Trevor out for the summer. We\u2019ll take care of him and you can take care of Mina with one less thing to worry about.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mitch chuckled then and said, \u201cI fear for the boy\u2019s salvation in your hands, Sebastian, but I\u2019ll take you up on that. Trev\u2019s feelings won\u2019t be hurt at all.\u201d He looked at Eilis then and suddenly, her heart hurt for him. He\u2019d sacrificed a great deal to officiate his best friend\u2019s wedding. \u201cPlease take care of him, Eilis.\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled and nodded.<\/p>\n

Mitch looked around him and said, his voice wry, \u201cGlad I\u2019m not staying. This isn\u2019t exactly the kind of wedding reception I\u2019m used to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Mitch, there\u2019s the house,\u201d Sebastian said. \u201cThe rest of the True Believing Mormons and Irrationally Prudish are in there having cake and lime-sherbet-and-7-Up punch, keeping away from us philistines in case they see something they might be tempted to try.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mitch laughed a hearty laugh. \u201cNo can do. My pilot\u2019s waiting for me. See you two next month?\u201d Once both Eilis and Sebastian had nodded, he turned and trotted across the lawn to the driveway.<\/p>\n

\u201cEilis. Sebastian,\u201d said a woman, low, seeming to appear out of the darkness. Dianne, a joyous expression on her face, took the baby gently from Eilis. She cast a soft, proud smile at both Eilis and Sebastian, then left with the boy to head for the G-rated shelter of the house.<\/p>\n

Sebastian untied his loincloth and dropped to the ground to laze in the grass and stare up at Eilis. She pulled off the flowered bra and wriggled out of her flower-bedecked maternity boyshorts. He offered her his hand and tugged at her until she knelt beside him and simply stared at him, at his naked body glowing in the light of the bonfire.<\/p>\n

She languidly straddled Sebastian\u2019s hips, wrapped her hand around Sebastian\u2019s cock, guided him into her. He laid one hand over her pregnant belly, his fingers splayed out, and wrapped the other around her hip so far his finger caressed the sensitive spot just behind where their bodies joined. She closed her eyes and released a long, shuddering breath at the ecstasy of how his hands felt on her, how he felt inside her.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy Goddess,\u201d Sebastian murmured as he raised his hips, just a little. \u201cLet me love you in the light of the Beltane fire.\u201d<\/p>\n

The faint sounds of a dozen other pairs of lovers taking their pleasure in each other wafted to them on the breeze, Eilis and Sebastian\u2019s echoing, answering the rest.<\/p>\n

★<\/p>\n

2026022<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

MAY 2008 THE BONFIRE BLAZED, the flames licking high up into the starlit night through the wide ring of the treetops. The carefully tended acreage around them bloomed with colorful life, strategically lit to emphasize the way the master gardener had designed them for nighttime pleasure, for the nighttime pleasure she took with her lover. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":39,"menu_order":4134,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-398","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/398"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=398"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/398\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23493,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/398\/revisions\/23493"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/39"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}