{"id":3604,"date":"2013-12-29T21:04:54","date_gmt":"2013-12-30T02:04:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/?page_id=3604"},"modified":"2026-02-23T00:54:21","modified_gmt":"2026-02-23T05:54:21","slug":"cassie01","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/extras\/vignettes-outtakes\/confessions\/cassie01\/","title":{"rendered":"Starry Starry Eyes"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

DECEMBER 1982<\/p>\n

Cassie: 18
\nUpper East Side, Manhattan<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

I STOOD NERVOUSLY in my bedroom, awaiting the summons from the foyer that would initiate my courtship. I\u2019d had a crush on Gordon Rivington for so long I couldn\u2019t contain my excitement that he had actually consented to be my escort for the International Debutante Ball.<\/p>\n

\u201cCassie,\u201d my mother said absently as she smoothed my ivory dress. \u201cI know you know this, but I just want to make it clear that it is very important that you impress Gordon this evening.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was no problem to agree.<\/p>\n

I wanted to impress him.<\/p>\n

I wanted to marry him, in three years, once I turned eighteen, just like my father and Gordon\u2019s father had tentatively agreed.<\/p>\n

I was thrilled.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Gordon,\u201d I sighed under my breath two hours later, in the ladies lounge of the Waldorf Astoria, adjusting my crinolines. He was everything a girl could want: cute, attentive, with a solid pedigree. If everything went well tonight, and he acquiesced to our fathers\u2019 hopes, I\u2019d be set.<\/p>\n

Happily ever after, here I come.<\/p>\n

Now, if he would only kiss me \u2026 <\/p>\n

But no.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re only fifteen, Cassie,\u201d he said with patient amusement as he hugged me to him. He turned me out and around then, to escort me inside my house. \u201cWe\u2019ll get there.\u201d I shivered at the light touch of his hand on my back and couldn\u2019t wait for my wedding, because there would<\/em> be one.<\/p>\n

\u201cStop fidgeting!\u201d my mother hissed at me three years later as she smoothed my wedding dress, all white and princessy.<\/p>\n

I knew she was stressed out, but I couldn\u2019t help my excitement.<\/p>\n

By the end of the day, I\u2019d be Mrs. Gordon Rivington, and if all went well (and I had no reason to think it wouldn\u2019t), in nine months, I\u2019d have a baby. Ten at the latest. I was a good girl. I did what I was told and thus far, what I\u2019d been told to do was right up my alley.<\/p>\n

My bridesmaids were as fluttery as I was, and when they squealed, I squealed. When I squealed, they squealed. It was exciting!<\/p>\n

I looked down at the peach and slate blue bouquet in my hands, thinking I\u2019d never seen anything prettier, but then my mother turned me to face the glass, and I thought I saw a glimmer of a tear in her eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Cassie,\u201d she said, sounding a little sad.<\/p>\n

That confused me.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou and I will need to have a little chat in a couple of years,\u201d she murmured, refusing to meet my eyes in the mirror, while she busied herself picking nonexistent lint off my dress.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMm, well \u2026 Just something old married women talk about.\u201d She laughed, but it sounded a little hollow. \u201cMust wait until you\u2019re an old married woman to talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

I looked at her a little longer, wondering why she was being such a downer all of a sudden, but one of my bridesmaids squealed again, and opened the door of the dressing room to admit my father, all decked out in a morning coat.<\/p>\n

\u201cReady?\u201d he asked, his face really no cheerier than my mother\u2019s and I wondered \u2026 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you okay, Daddy?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

He smiled then.<\/p>\n

Fake.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a bit sad to see my little girl all grown up now, getting married, starting her own life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust like a fairy tale, huh?\u201d I wanted to shimmy and shake and shout with glee.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d he said. \u201cJust like a fairy tale.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Daddy!\u201d I said and swept to him, threw myself in his arms. \u201cThank you thank you thank you so much!\u201d<\/p>\n

He hugged me. Barely.<\/p>\n

What was up with my parents today? Couldn\u2019t they at least pretend to be happy for me, even though I was leaving them?<\/p>\n

My mother herded my bridesmaids out of the dressing room and closed the door behind her. My father looked over his shoulder then dropped to his knees in front of me. \u201cCassie,\u201d he whispered. \u201cYou don\u2019t have to do this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wha\u2014?!<\/em><\/p>\n

I stared down at his face, pleading, his eyes, too, shimmering with tears. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on? You know I love Gordon. I\u2019ve always loved Gordon.\u201d<\/p>\n

He opened his mouth as if to speak. Closed it. Opened it. Then sighed and looked away.<\/p>\n

\u201cDaddy,\u201d I said. \u201cIt\u2019s okay. I\u2019m not moving over to the West Side or anything, just a couple of blocks away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm, right. Of course. How silly of me. Let\u2019s go get you married off.\u201d<\/p>\n

By the time I realized why my father had had cold feet on my behalf, I had four children, all girls: a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and a set of 18-month-old twins.<\/p>\n

And my mother still hadn\u2019t found a time to have that talk with me.<\/p>\n

★<\/p>\n

\nCassie Part 1<\/span>
\nCassie Part 2<\/a>
\nCassie Part 3<\/a>
\nCassie Part 4<\/a>
\nCassie Part 5<\/a>\n<\/div>\n
20260222<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

DECEMBER 1982 Cassie: 18 Upper East Side, Manhattan I STOOD NERVOUSLY in my bedroom, awaiting the summons from the foyer that would initiate my courtship. I\u2019d had a crush on Gordon Rivington for so long I couldn\u2019t contain my excitement that he had actually consented to be my escort for the International Debutante Ball. \u201cCassie,\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":1599,"menu_order":4317,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-3604","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3604"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3604"}],"version-history":[{"count":27,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3604\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23571,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3604\/revisions\/23571"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1599"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3604"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}