{"id":1908,"date":"2012-07-21T20:39:45","date_gmt":"2012-07-22T01:39:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/?page_id=1908"},"modified":"2026-03-31T22:05:25","modified_gmt":"2026-04-01T03:05:25","slug":"rag","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/thebooks\/rag\/","title":{"rendered":"TWENTY-DOLLAR RAG"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"eddsection\">\n<div class=\"eddfloat_dl\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"eddcover_dl\">\n<figure class=\"b10mwx\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/b10mediaworx.com\/covers\/rag\/rag-200x300.jpg\"><figcaption class=\"b10mwx\">Tales of Dunham #10<br \/>\u00a92011 Moriah Jovan<br \/>12,000 words (48 pages)<\/figcaption><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<article>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"eddtitle_dl\">Book 10 in the Dunham universe<\/p>\n<div class=\"linksbuyblock\" role=\"group\" aria-label=\"Buy Twenty-Dollar Rag\">\n<p class=\"linksedd\">Buy direct:<\/p>\n\t<form id=\"edd_purchase_19734\" class=\"edd_download_purchase_form edd_purchase_19734\" method=\"post\">\n\n\t\t\t<div class=\"edd_price_options edd_multi_mode\" >\n\t\t<ul>\n\t\t\t<li id=\"edd_price_option_19734_epub\"><label for=\"edd_price_option_19734_1\"><input type=\"checkbox\"  checked='checked' name=\"edd_options[price_id][]\" id=\"edd_price_option_19734_1\" class=\"edd_price_option_19734\" value=\"1\" data-price=\"1.99\"\/>&nbsp;<span class=\"edd_price_option_name\">EPUB<\/span><span class=\"edd_price_option_sep\">&nbsp;&ndash;&nbsp;<\/span><span class=\"edd_price_option_price\">&#36;1.99<\/span><\/label><\/li><li id=\"edd_price_option_19734_pdf\"><label for=\"edd_price_option_19734_2\"><input type=\"checkbox\"  name=\"edd_options[price_id][]\" id=\"edd_price_option_19734_2\" class=\"edd_price_option_19734\" value=\"2\" data-price=\"1.99\"\/>&nbsp;<span class=\"edd_price_option_name\">PDF<\/span><span class=\"edd_price_option_sep\">&nbsp;&ndash;&nbsp;<\/span><span class=\"edd_price_option_price\">&#36;1.99<\/span><\/label><\/li>\t\t<\/ul>\n\t<\/div><!--end .edd_price_options-->\n\t\n\t\t<div class=\"edd_purchase_submit_wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<button class=\"edd-add-to-cart button has-edd-button-background-color has-edd-button-text-color edd-submit\" data-nonce=\"ad0facd6ae\" data-timestamp=\"1775823198\" data-token=\"f3bd497cc46dc76f07e3c54bf733977844e80be594a2cc57dca741c801c1e024\" data-action=\"edd_add_to_cart\" data-download-id=\"19734\"  data-variable-price=\"yes\" data-price-mode=multi data-price=\"0.00\" ><span class=\"edd-add-to-cart-label\">Add to Cart<\/span> <span class=\"edd-loading\" aria-label=\"Loading\"><\/span><\/button><input type=\"submit\" class=\"edd-add-to-cart edd-no-js button has-edd-button-background-color has-edd-button-text-color edd-submit\" name=\"edd_purchase_download\" value=\"Add to Cart\" data-action=\"edd_add_to_cart\" data-download-id=\"19734\"  data-variable-price=\"yes\" data-price-mode=multi \/><a href=\"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/checkout\/\" class=\"edd_go_to_checkout button has-edd-button-background-color has-edd-button-text-color edd-submit\" style=\"display:none;\">Checkout<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"edd-cart-ajax-alert\" aria-live=\"assertive\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"edd-cart-added-alert\" style=\"display: none;\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg class=\"edd-icon edd-icon-check\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"28\" height=\"28\" viewBox=\"0 0 28 28\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<path d=\"M26.11 8.844c0 .39-.157.78-.44 1.062L12.234 23.344c-.28.28-.672.438-1.062.438s-.78-.156-1.06-.438l-7.782-7.78c-.28-.282-.438-.673-.438-1.063s.156-.78.438-1.06l2.125-2.126c.28-.28.672-.438 1.062-.438s.78.156 1.062.438l4.594 4.61L21.42 5.656c.282-.28.673-.438 1.063-.438s.78.155 1.062.437l2.125 2.125c.28.28.438.672.438 1.062z\"\/>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/svg>\n\t\t\t\t\t\tAdded to cart\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!--end .edd_purchase_submit_wrapper-->\n\n\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"download_id\" value=\"19734\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"edd_action\" class=\"edd_action_input\" value=\"add_to_cart\">\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t<\/form><!--end #edd_purchase_19734-->\n\t\n<p class=\"linksedd\">&nbsp;<br \/>\n\t\t<span class=\"small85\">Amazon<\/span> <a class=\"rag\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B009NMRG6C\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Kindle<\/a> \u2022 <a class=\"rag\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/0991189256\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">paperback<\/a><br \/>\n\t\t<span class=\"small85\">Barnes &#038; Noble<\/span> <a class=\"rag\" href=\"https:\/\/www.barnesandnoble.com\/w\/twenty-dollar-rag-moriah-jovan\/1113209135\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Nook<\/a> \u2022 <span class=\"small85\">paperback<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t<a class=\"rag\" href=\"http:\/\/books.apple.com\/us\/book\/id1147054050\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Apple iBooks<\/a><br \/>\n\t\t<a class=\"rag\" href=\"https:\/\/play.google.com\/store\/books\/details?id=Xy6vlR-8rWwC\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Google Play Books<\/a><br \/>\n\t\t<a class=\"rag\" href=\"https:\/\/www.kobo.com\/us\/en\/ebook\/twenty-dollar-rag-tales-of-dunham-10\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Kobo eBooks<\/a>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/article>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"eddtag_dl\">ONE NIGHT. ONE MAN. ONE DRESS.<\/p>\n<p class=\"eddsum_dl\">Regina Westlake sees nothing wrong with her clubbing lifestyle until the gorgeous guy cleaning her pool refuses to play her games. When he\u2019s hired to be her arm candy for a formal event, he makes his disdain for her clear by re-dressing her in something far more appropriate than what she had worn to the party.<\/p>\n<p class=\"eddsum_dl\">Shattered, she takes his contempt, his dress, the memory of his kiss\u2014and rebuilds her life from the ground up. She never expects to see him again\u2014and she would really rather not.<\/p>\n<div class=\"navblock\">\n<p class=\"leftnavblock\"><a class=\"arrowsmall\" href=\"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/thebooks\/1520main\/\">\u2190 Book 9<\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"rightnavblock\"><a class=\"arrowbig\" href=\"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/kenard\/knight\/\">Kenard Book 1  \u2192<\/a><br \/>Head to medieval England for <a href=\"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/kenard\/\"><span class=\"big120\">Bryce Kenard<\/span><\/a>\u2019s<br \/>family story, which intersects with the<br \/>Dunhams\u2019 in the most interesting ways.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"wingding\">\u203b<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">1<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">\u201cWHERE IS THAT pool boy? He was supposed to come this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>No, he was supposed to have come the morning after, but the Joneses had had a pool emergency. Vachel wasn\u2019t clear on what a pool emergency was if water wasn\u2019t gushing into the basement, but he was more than willing to rearrange his schedule for a premium price. He didn\u2019t even mind being called a pool boy as long as people paid their bills on time.<\/p>\n<p>Vachel got his equipment and closed the van doors. He took off through the immense lawn (yes, he <em>had<\/em> heard the shriek all the way from the back of the mansion to the driveway) and found the gate to the back yard. He smirked when he heard the gasps from the assembled girlage. He didn\u2019t particularly care what he looked like, but he was all too aware that the way his genes manifested could be <em>extremely<\/em> good for business.<\/p>\n<p>Vachel didn\u2019t acknowledge the presence of the three lookalikes, even as they talked to him and asked questions. They were barely legal, so he knew <em>they<\/em> weren\u2019t the ones paying the bill. He also knew that the last three pool services this house had had refused to come back.<\/p>\n<p>There was the emergency\u2014a pile of shit, there at the bottom of the deep end. He sighed and, still ignoring the catcalls and whistles, he whipped out his phone and took a picture. He pulled out the contraption he\u2019d devised for just such a purpose and scooped it out, dispensing with it as efficiently as a dirty diaper.<\/p>\n<p>He proceeded to drain the pool.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey! What are you <em>do<\/em>ing?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He said nothing because it was expressly written in his service contract that if he had to fish out shit, the pool was getting drained, cleaned, refilled\u2014and at the same premium hourly rate. He knew that was where he differed from his competition.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou can\u2019t <em>do<\/em> that! I\u2019ve got a party here tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ignore<\/p>\n<p>Unwind hose<\/p>\n<p>Pull out to street<\/p>\n<p>Set pump<\/p>\n<p>The girl occupying the middle chaise got up and chased him the length of the driveway to the street. He was quite sure that was the most physical activity she\u2019d engaged in for the last week. He found it odd girls like that were up this early in the morning, but the faint stench of stale beer and sex surrounded her. They hadn\u2019t yet gone to bed.<\/p>\n<p>He heard another voice behind him, male, adult.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re Vachel Whittaker?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He turned. Ah, yes, the person who paid the bills. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI thought you weren\u2019t supposed to be here until tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSomeone took a dump in your pool. Apparently that was enough to call in a pool emergency.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bill Jones sighed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBill,\u201d said the diva in a tone of voice that he knew <em>no one<\/em> in his family would\u2019ve tolerated for one second. \u201cHe\u2019s draining the pool.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI can see that,\u201d Jones muttered.<\/p>\n<p>Vachel vaguely wondered how badly the man\u2019s wife had emasculated him before the daughter got her turn.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe can\u2019t! I have a party tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Jones looked at Vachel. \u201cDo you <em>have<\/em> to drain the pool?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes.\u201d He didn\u2019t bother to explain. Diva wouldn\u2019t care and Emasculated Dad stared at Vachel\u2019s van, his mind far away.<\/p>\n<p>Jones started suddenly and looked at Vachel. \u201cHow old are you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel blinked. \u201cTwenty-six.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Jones cast a dark glance at Diva, who sneered right back at him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah, but so what?\u201d she snarked. \u201c<em>He\u2019s<\/em> cleaning shit out of a pool.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel shrugged and went about his business, not caring to step into a dispute between a teenaged bitch and a middle-aged eunuch.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSon!\u201d Jones called as Vachel trudged to the back.<\/p>\n<p>Vachel looked over his shoulder. \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow long have you worked for your family?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel was confused. \u201cMy family?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes. Whittaker Pools.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAh.\u201d This should be fun. \u201cIt\u2019s mine. Built it from the ground up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cReally,\u201d Jones drawled, casting another dark glance at the daughter, who looked away in a sulk. \u201cWhere did you go to school?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel thought he was going to explode with laughter, but he kept a straight face with a skill borne of much practice. \u201cFor undergrad or grad?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Jones\u2019s jaw dropped.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, that wasn\u2019t fair,\u201d Vachel continued. \u201cI apologize. I went to Georgetown University. Bachelor\u2019s in economics. MBA.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Diva looked like she was about to hyperventilate. \u201cFine,\u201d she spat after recovering herself. \u201cBut you\u2019re still shoveling shit out of a pool.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, I\u2019m not,\u201d he said blithely. \u201cI\u2019m standing here being an object lesson for you and getting paid one-fifty an hour for it. <em>I<\/em> am making money chatting. <em>You<\/em> are not.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Emasculated Dad burst out laughing, clapped Vachel on the back, went to his car, and slid behind the wheel. \u201cDo what you have to do, son. Ignore her and the rest of her crew.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, that was the plan.<\/p>\n<p>It only took him fifteen minutes to start draining the pool, after which he left to tend other customers, ignoring her shrieking about why he was leaving when his job wasn\u2019t done.<\/p>\n<p>Ward Parkway wasn\u2019t his usual Wednesday route, but he was pretty sure none of his other customers would mind if he came a day early. He called his Thursday customers to reschedule, and though some were annoyed enough he felt obliged to explain, he made a point of saying, \u201cOf course, if it were <em>your<\/em> pool, I\u2019d do the same.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A youth spent in the hospitality industry sure came in handy.<\/p>\n<p>He went back to the Jones house and only had to wait fifteen minutes before turning off the pump. Diva wasn\u2019t around, thank heavens, but it was four o\u2019clock. She was probably napping so she could go clubbing tonight. He didn\u2019t know which member of his family would have slapped her first, but he would lay odds on Aunt Giselle.<\/p>\n<p>He started. Speaking of Giselle&nbsp;\u2026 He hit speed dial. \u201cHey, I\u2019m over on Ward Parkway and running behind. Can I have Dunc?\u201d It took him exactly ten minutes to pick up his occasional employee, his&nbsp;\u2026 cousin? Who knew? There was very little actual blood running through Vachel\u2019s family tree.<\/p>\n<p>A kid with a carrot-colored buzz cut bounded out the front door of his house in Brookside and bounced into the van.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe Brides of Dracula are back,\u201d Vachel muttered once they returned.<\/p>\n<p>Diva stared at him, but he ignored her. So she went to work on Dunc (whom he\u2019d set to cleaning the shallow end).<\/p>\n<p>Now, Dunc was easygoing like his father and funny like his mother. With that hair, he had to be. Yet easygoing and funny didn\u2019t negate danger: Dunc had a very long fuse and a very short temper.<\/p>\n<p>First, Diva started in on his hair color and what she said was not kind.<\/p>\n<p>She started in on his Bermuda shorts.<\/p>\n<p>She went after his glasses (which were pretty snazzy).<\/p>\n<p>It wouldn\u2019t be long now\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Dunc planted the head of the brush on the pool floor and leaned on the pole. \u201cAre you always such a raging bitch or are you on the rag?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel hid his smile by turning away. <em>That<\/em> shut her up for two seconds.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re fired,\u201d she pronounced, but he didn\u2019t quit working and Dunc began again. \u201cDid you hear me? You\u2019re fired.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel looked up at her. \u201cFine. Your total bill is one-fifty per hour for six hours, which is nine hundred, plus early termination of your contract, which is reasonable time for the whole pool season, estimated at seventeen-fifty plus seventeen-fifty for early termination fee. That\u2019s forty-four hundred bucks. Cash. I don\u2019t trust any check you would write.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She looked dumbstruck.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou don\u2019t pay the bills, sweetheart,\u201d Vachel said finally when she didn\u2019t speak, didn\u2019t move. \u201cTherefore, unless you can come up with the cash, you\u2019re shit out of luck and stuck with us. You can stay and drool all over our male perfection or you can leave. We don\u2019t care.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dunc barked a laugh as he worked, but Diva huffed and puffed. \u201cI\u2019m going to get my boyfriend over here to kick your asses.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel and Dunc stopped, looked at each other, and burst out laughing. The phone was out and dialed and she\u2019d said \u201cBye\u201d before either of them had caught their breath, but she cast them both a self-satisfied glare.<\/p>\n<p>After a while, Vachel checked his watch. \u201cDunc,\u201d he called. \u201cI\u2019m done. You?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYep. Let\u2019s get this puppy loaded.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>They climbed out of the pool. The three girls still lay on their lounge chairs and watched them silently. Diva, in the middle again, wore a smug expression. Vachel and Dunc exchanged glances and smirked. Dunc went to get a garden hose to fill up the pool while Vachel put away the equipment.<\/p>\n<p>The boyfriend rolled in as Vachel sat on the bumper of his van writing out an invoice, which he would mail because he didn\u2019t trust the Diva to give it to her father. Dunc stood beside him, packing some smaller pieces of equipment. Boyfriend parked his Porsche behind the van and Vachel decided not to complete the invoice because now he\u2019d have to charge for the time he spent blocked in.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cA\u2019ight,\u201d Boyfriend drawled as he stepped smoothly out of his car, casually hanging his shades in the neck of his tee shirt. Diva and her friends gathered in eager anticipation of ass-kicking. \u201cWhich one of you called my girl a bitch?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dunc raised his hand without hesitation.<\/p>\n<p>Vachel shook his head when Boyfriend got within striking distance of Dunc, cracking his knuckles as he sauntered closer. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBecause she is.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Boyfriend pulled his fist as far back as he could.<\/p>\n<p>Vachel didn\u2019t actually <em>see<\/em> it, as it happened too fast, but in a blur of motion Dunc had Boyfriend pinned up against the back door of the van, his arm twisted behind his back. His face was distorted from being pressed into the window, Dunc\u2019s left forearm applying pressure to the back of the boyfriend\u2019s head.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou little cuntweasel,\u201d he slurred. He yelped when Dunc twisted his arm further.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTwo choices,\u201d Vachel said mildly as he wrote. \u201cYou can leave now, or my associate here can break your arm, take your keys, and move your car so we can go home. I\u2019ve had a long day and I want to put my feet up. Have a beer.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He took a glimpse at Diva. She was furious, although her friends had wilted like dirty dishrags.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAllen,\u201d she snapped. \u201cYou spineless\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She went on with a string of invectives and Vachel leaned toward Boyfriend. \u201cIf I were you,\u201d he murmured, \u201cI\u2019d leave now before I got stuck with <em>her<\/em> for the rest of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He gulped, and Vachel nodded at Dunc to let him go.<\/p>\n<p>The Porsche squealed out of the driveway, and Vachel checked his watch. Another two-fifty for \u201cunexpected hazards.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>All in a day\u2019s work.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">2<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">\u201cHEY, VACHEL!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel nodded acknowledgment of Uncle Bryce\u2019s wave and holler out the front door of Dunc\u2019s house and drove around the corner to park his van in the Kenards\u2019 driveway. He was tired, but that signal meant Giselle had dinner ready and he was invited.<\/p>\n<p>He and Dunc were all set to tell the story once they\u2019d all sat and prayed and begun eating, but Bryce said, \u201cVachel, I need a favor. Well, more like a job. Sorta. You decide.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel grunted around his food because he didn\u2019t waste his time on favors, not even for family.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cArt exhibition Friday night. A friend of mine\u2019s wife insists on bringing the stepdaughter and demands he get her a suitable escort. Apparently, the crowd the girl runs in tends to party all night and sleep all day on Daddy\u2019s money.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel\u2019s eyebrow rose. \u201cShe <em>demanded<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce chuckled. \u201cYeah, that\u2019s kinda what I thought. I\u2019m not sure which is worse: That he capitulated or that he <em>admitted<\/em> it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow old is this stepdaughter?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTwenty-four.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s she look like?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDoes it matter?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Well, no, not really. \u201cWhat\u2019s the job part of it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ll pay you if it doesn\u2019t offend your sensibilities.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He shrugged. \u201cOkay. When and where and dress and how much?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKemper Gallery Friday night around seven-thirty or so. Black tie. And about pay\u2014tell me what you think it\u2019s worth when it\u2019s over.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That out of the way, Dunc launched into the afternoon\u2019s adventure and had Bryce and Giselle howling with his rendition of it\u2014exaggerated for best effect, naturally. Even Vachel found it a lot funnier with Dunc telling the story. The kid was nothing if not hilarious.<\/p>\n<p>Friday he showed up at the gallery in his almost-best formal wear. Bryce was dressed nearly identically except for one major difference, and Giselle had on some yellow thing that made her look kinda hot for a fifty-something. Most of the rest of his adopted family were there: Knox and Justice Hilliard, and Sebastian Taight and Eilis Logan, Vachel\u2019s mentor and trainer, whose job he was taking over in a week. Vachel\u2019s only living relative, his real aunt, lived in D.C. with her husband and two sons.<\/p>\n<p>Vachel garnered quite a few looks of surprise from everybody but his family, but that was nothing new. He dressed the way he liked and he had since he was twelve. If anybody else didn\u2019t like it, that was their problem and they were going to have to get used to seeing him dressed that way.<\/p>\n<p>He mingled for a bit and sipped a punch he thought should be dumped in the storm drain.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s spiked,\u201d Giselle muttered, looking down at her own glass in dismay.<\/p>\n<p>Well, that explained it. He took hers and poured both their glasses in a potted plant. Bryce chuckled.<\/p>\n<p>Eilis beckoned him to her side to inform him that the sale of Whittaker Pools had gone through, and it would be out from under him in a week. After that, he was to report to her office a week from Monday to make it officially his.<\/p>\n<p>The sound of an escalating argument behind him cut his and Eilis\u2019s conversation short. They both turned, and Vachel didn\u2019t think he could be more shocked.<\/p>\n<p>It was Diva and her emasculated father having it out. Clearly, Diva was winning because she didn\u2019t care that her father was embarrassed or that she was acting very badly. What was a teenage girl doing at this exhibit anyway? It wasn\u2019t open to anyone under twenty-one.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWow,\u201d he muttered when Bryce appeared at his side. \u201cI\u2019d hate to think what Giselle would do to that girl.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce chuckled. \u201cThat\u2019d be entertaining, wouldn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe\u2019s the girl with the pool Dunc and I cleaned Wednesday.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He felt Bryce start. \u201cHuh&nbsp;\u2026 Hmmm&nbsp;\u2026&nbsp;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel pursed his lips and stared at Diva. \u201cThis is really gonna cost you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI kinda figured it might,\u201d Bryce muttered.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTwo hundred fifty an hour, two-hour minimum.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOne fifty. I have to have some room for markup.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTwo twenty-five. I\u2019m retail, pal, and your markup is your problem. Go get a wholesale vendor so <em>I<\/em> can find an impromptu date.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIncludes rescuing Bill from her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel thought a moment. She <em>was<\/em> gorgeous, but she needed a lot of work so as to not look exactly like her friends. It helped that none of them were here to compare her to.<\/p>\n<p>She had patrician features, though preternaturally pale (enhanced with goth white and goth scarlet lipstick), electric blue hair cut in a bob. She was about five-eight, five-nine. But that dress\u2014if it could be called that\u2014was a travesty. Too much skin, too much trash.<\/p>\n<p>Vachel had spent the first twelve years of his life being poor white trailer trash. He wasn\u2019t thrilled about some rich bitch with an entitlement complex glamorizing it.<\/p>\n<p>He looked at his watch. \u201cOkay. I\u2019ll accept that condition.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Immediately, Vachel strode toward the girl (twenty-four? really?), who was still yelling at her fath\u2014erm, stepfather. Now the emasculation made a little more sense. So engrossed was she in her tantrum, she didn\u2019t notice him until he pressed his mouth to her ear and whispered, \u201cHow was your pool party?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She jumped, staring at him as if she didn\u2019t recognize him. Her breathing slowed as her fright eased and her anger returned.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou fucking bastard!\u201d she hissed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWatch your language. You already look trashy enough without acting like it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTrashy?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll you need to complete the look is a half-smoked Marlboro in one hand and a can of Blue Ribbon in the other. Trust me. I know from trashy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her nostrils flared. \u201cOf course. You\u2019re just a pool boy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMmmm, well yes and no. I\u2019m the pool boy until next Friday. <em>Then<\/em> I turn into the new CEO of OKH Enterprises.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her mouth dropped open. Blessed silence. Finally. Her jaw worked up and down, but nothing came out. \u201cYou\u2014 you\u2019re <em>that<\/em> Vachel Whittaker?\u201d she squeaked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNot too many Vachels running around these days.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re going to be Bill\u2019s boss?\u201d Her squeak hit dog-whistle range.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes. And if you don\u2019t act like a decent human being this evening, I\u2019ll fire him. You\u2019ll have to get a job. How \u2019bout that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She gulped. Ah, she did have an Achilles\u2019 heel. It was at that moment she noticed what he was wearing and her chest heaved. She pointed to his knees and tried to speak, but&nbsp;\u2026 \u201cThat\u2014 You\u2014 It\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, Miss Jones, it\u2019s a kilt. Problem?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She recovered herself. \u201cMy name\u2019s not Jones,\u201d she snapped, though low. She\u2019d turned her back on the room so she couldn\u2019t be overhead.<\/p>\n<p>So she <em>could<\/em> be trained.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay. I\u2019ll call you Diva.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her jaw clenched and her nostrils flared, but she kept the volume down. She made it up in attitude. \u201cThat\u2019s not my name, either.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel snorted. \u201cI don\u2019t care what your name is. Be lucky I don\u2019t call you Rich Bitch. Let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhere are you taking me?\u201d she demanded when he grasped her upper arm again and propelled her toward the exit, away from the party.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBetter watch the volume, there, Diva,\u201d he muttered. \u201cJob.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t fire Bill because of me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you remember what happened to your boyfriend Wednesday?\u201d She didn\u2019t answer. \u201cI see you do. Don\u2019t test me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Once outside in the cool May evening, he gave his ticket to the valet. In the time it took for his car to be brought around, she tried to wrest herself from his grasp, but he didn\u2019t budge. She asked again where he was taking her, but he didn\u2019t answer her. When his car finally was brought around, her mouth dropped open. Again.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat is that?\u201d she whispered with something akin to respect.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJaguar \u201963,\u201d he said shortly and released her to open the passenger door\u2014the one on the left side of the car. She bolted. Well, attempted to. He\u2019d expected that, so he calmly caught her by the barely there strings that held the little handkerchief to her bosom. \u201cGet in.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>With a half rebellious, half fearful look, she obeyed. Vachel went around to the other side, tipped the valet and dropped into the seat on the right side of the car. \u201cAs to where I\u2019m taking you,\u201d he said as he shifted smoothly with his left hand, \u201cit\u2019s to get a decent dress. I\u2019m not going to be seen with you when you look like <em>that<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat?!\u201d He was going to need hearing aids. \u201cYou don\u2019t have to be seen with me at all.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, no. I\u2019m being paid to be your arm candy and I am not going to tarnish <em>my<\/em> reputation by having a cheap conformist on <em>my<\/em> arm.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPaid?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes. With a two-hour minimum, so you\u2019re stuck with me for the next, oh,\u201d he looked at his watch, \u201chour and forty-five minutes. At least. And don\u2019t think this is the easiest job I\u2019ve ever done. Think about that for a minute, Diva. Somebody had to be paid to escort you to a nice function. I\u2019d call that humiliating.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That shut her up long enough for them to get to Crown Center. It took him some time to fight the Saturday crowd to get to the restrooms, dragging Diva all the way. Again, they garnered a lot of looks, but he could see how it must look: Dude in a tartan kilt and tux coat dragging a barely dressed, hissing and spitting young woman (who looked like jailbait) through a chichi mall and right on into the women\u2019s bathroom.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs that a wig?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes,\u201d she snapped.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTake it off.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He cocked his eyebrow and tilted his head. \u201cExcuse me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She huffed, but obeyed. A mass of huge red-brown curls tumbled down, and he looked at her. She looked so much better already. \u201cAw, now that\u2019s nice,\u201d he murmured, grabbing the wig and throwing it in the trash. \u201cNow strip the greasepaint.\u201d Glaring at him, she did, and what emerged wasn\u2019t exactly the ugliest thing he\u2019d ever seen. Nice peaches\u2019n\u2019cream complexion that didn\u2019t match her unnaturally purple eyes. \u201cContacts. And I know <em>those<\/em> aren\u2019t prescription.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow do you know?\u201d she snarled.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m blind as a bat. I know from prescription.\u201d Gray. A respectable color.<\/p>\n<p>He dragged her out of the bathroom, startling several women along the way, and pulled her from one clothing store to the next until he found a suitable one. He propelled her across the threshold and summoned one of the dumbfounded saleswomen. \u201cSomething green. Preferably silk. Simple. Modest. No frou-frou.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The saleslady came back with several dresses, and he sent Diva with her. He lounged in a small loveseat in front of the dressing rooms, his arms stretched wide across the back of the couch and his ankle over his knee while she changed.<\/p>\n<p>She started when she came out in the first dress. \u201cWhat are you <em>doing<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBuying a dress. Turn around.\u201d When she refused to budge, he said, \u201cFlipping burgers doesn\u2019t pay very well.\u201d Her mouth tightened, and she turned. \u201cNot that one. Next.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Five dresses later, he settled on a silvery green sheath dress that seemed tailored enough to make her look something approximating her age and get the right kind of attention. When the saleslady finally came back, she gasped and stepped back, her hand over her mouth, staring at Diva.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat, bit\u2014?\u201d Diva snapped.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDiva,\u201d Vachel snapped, immediately angry. \u201cDon\u2019t talk to people like that, especially people who <em>work<\/em> for a living. They are <em>your<\/em> superiors in every way.\u201d That startled the saleslady as much as Diva had. It was to the clerk he turned. \u201cIs there something I\u2019m missing? What do you suggest?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNothing, sir,\u201d she breathed. \u201cThat is stunning. I have never seen anyone do that dress justice, and it\u2019s hung on the rack forever. It\u2019s like it was made for her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Vachel felt very pleased with himself, and Diva just stared at the saleslady as if she couldn\u2019t believe what she\u2019d just heard.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf you could throw that dishcloth away,\u201d he gestured toward the dressing room, \u201cI\u2019d appreciate it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOf course, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe shoes don\u2019t match,\u201d Diva grumbled once she\u2019d watched the saleslady walk out of sight with her outfit.<\/p>\n<p>Vachel grunted. \u201cCan\u2019t see them anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The dress was marked down seventy-five percent (for the third time) and of course, that entertained Vachel even more. That was a helluva margin, though he hadn\u2019t intended to have to invest any actual money into this job.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t fucking believe this. You\u2019re making me wear a twenty-dollar dress?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYep,\u201d he said as he handed his credit card to the saleslady. Once he\u2019d signed the credit card receipt, he slipped the saleslady a twenty and dragged Diva out of the store.<\/p>\n<p>Now, one thing Vachel didn\u2019t consider himself to be was foolish. He hadn\u2019t survived his grandmother for twelve years by being so. He hadn\u2019t tracked and hunted and bagged almost every edible species of animal in the Ozarks by the age of sixteen by being foolish. He hadn\u2019t gotten to the position of CEO of OKH at twenty-six by being foolish.<\/p>\n<p>But as he dragged Diva back through Crown Center togged in that pretty dress, her brown-red hair all curly and tousled and down around her shoulders, her gray eyes sparkling silver because of the reflection of the silvery-green dress, and her peaches\u2019n\u2019cream complexion flushing in anger, he felt very, very foolish.<\/p>\n<p>He had a hard-on.<\/p>\n<p>Not that that didn\u2019t happen on a regular basis when in the company of beautiful women\u2014especially ones he planned to seduce\u2014but this one didn\u2019t deserve an ounce of her beauty and he <em>hated<\/em> that.<\/p>\n<p>Hated <em>her<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>They got to the parking garage, and she opened her mouth to say (screech) something else, but Vachel kissed her. He didn\u2019t know why, since he didn\u2019t make a habit of kissing women he didn\u2019t like.<\/p>\n<p>He ignored her little gasp and deepened the kiss when she relaxed, opened her mouth, met his tongue. By the time he pulled away from her, her flawless face had a different flush.<\/p>\n<p>She opened those magnificent silver eyes.<\/p>\n<p>And then she spit at him.<\/p>\n<p>Vachel laughed bitterly and shook his head as he wiped the spittle from his face. \u201cYou really think you\u2019re entitled to the world, don\u2019t you? Get in and shut up.\u201d He looked at his watch and said, \u201cOnly another half hour. Yay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He slammed her door closed and went around to get in the driver\u2019s side. He didn\u2019t speak to her during the drive from Crown Center back to the Kemper Gallery, nor did he speak to her when he opened her door once they arrived, nor did he speak when he placed her hand in the crook of his arm and flexed his arm so her hand was caught between his forearm and biceps when she attempted to pull away. He dragged her in and immediately they garnered attention.<\/p>\n<p>It was of some surprise to him that they weren\u2019t looking at his kilt. They were looking at Diva, and their mouths hung open. She left a wake of astounded people behind her. He felt vaguely pleased when he saw Bryce\u2019s eyebrow rise and his mouth twitch.<\/p>\n<p>They finally arrived at Vachel\u2019s intended destination, which was the dance floor in front of the jazz band.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI sure hope you know how to dance,\u201d Vachel muttered as he took her hand and swung her out, his arm over her head.<\/p>\n<p>She snarled at him, but she danced with him and, he had to admit, she wasn\u2019t too shabby. To his surprise and\u2014most definitely hers\u2014they spent the entire evening dancing (even the slow ones). Neither spoke, but Vachel could feel the muscles in her back loosen up, her breathing even out. He found himself drawing her closer to him\u2014<\/p>\n<p>She looked up at him, her expression somber. He glanced at her mouth. Wondered if he dared kiss her in front of all these people. Decided not to. She sighed\u2014relief? disappointment?\u2014and focused on his tie.<\/p>\n<p>By the time Diva\u2019s mother (shit, an equally self-entitled rich bitch with an equally obnoxious fetish for the poor-white-trash look) came to collect her, she had relaxed enough to give him a shy smile when she made a misstep that would have sent her crashing to the floor if he hadn\u2019t caught her.<\/p>\n<p>DivaMama raked Vachel head to toe and sneered, and then raked Diva and sneered. Vachel caught the tightening of Diva\u2019s mouth, the flush, the mist in her eyes.<\/p>\n<p>Ah, so the stepfather wasn\u2019t the only victim in the house.<\/p>\n<p>Vachel reached for Diva\u2019s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. \u201cThanks, Diva,\u201d he murmured. \u201cI had a good time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The look of shock on her face was priceless, and she stared at him over her shoulder even as her mother dragged her off.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce and Eilis walked up to stand on either side of him and watched DivaMama hound Diva and Emasculated Dad as they left. Vachel looked at his watch and quickly calculated.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFour and a quarter hours at two-twenty-five plus expenses. Eleven hundred bucks. Net fifteen. I told you it was going to cost you and you\u2019re lucky I don\u2019t charge you extra for hazard pay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce shrugged. \u201cWouldn\u2019t blame you if you did.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat dress was on sale for twenty dollars at Spangles,\u201d Giselle muttered when she stuck her head in between them to watch the disappearing spectacle. \u201cI would\u2019ve bought it but it washed me out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cA hundred and fifty dollars for a twenty-dollar dress,\u201d Bryce mused. \u201cWell done.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cForty with tip.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Eilis offered her fist for Vachel to bump. \u201cAnd <em>that<\/em>, my dear Bryce, is why Vachel is my successor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"wingding\">\u203b<\/p>\n<div class=\"navblock\">\n<p class=\"leftnavblock\"><a class=\"arrowsmall\" href=\"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/thebooks\/1520main\/\">\u2190 Book 9<\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"rightnavblock\"><a class=\"arrowbig\" href=\"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/kenard\/knight\/\">Kenard Book 1  \u2192<\/a><br \/>Head to medieval England for <a href=\"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/kenard\/\"><span class=\"big120\">Bryce Kenard<\/span><\/a>\u2019s<br \/>family story, which intersects with the<br \/>Dunhams\u2019 in the most interesting ways.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"date\">20260331<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tales of Dunham #10\u00a92011 Moriah Jovan12,000 words (48 pages) Book 10 in the Dunham universe Buy direct: &nbsp; Amazon Kindle \u2022 paperback Barnes &#038; Noble Nook \u2022 paperback Apple iBooks Google Play Books Kobo eBooks ONE NIGHT. ONE MAN. ONE DRESS. Regina Westlake sees nothing wrong with her clubbing lifestyle until the gorgeous guy cleaning [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":18726,"menu_order":30,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1908","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1908"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1908"}],"version-history":[{"count":164,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1908\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25709,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1908\/revisions\/25709"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/18726"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1908"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}