{"id":1353,"date":"2012-05-30T22:23:23","date_gmt":"2012-05-31T03:23:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theproviso.com\/?page_id=1353"},"modified":"2026-03-31T20:54:31","modified_gmt":"2026-04-01T01:54:31","slug":"theproviso","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/thebooks\/theproviso\/","title":{"rendered":"THE PROVISO"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"eddsection\">\n<div class=\"eddfloat_dl\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"eddcover_dl\">\n<figure class=\"b10mwx\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/b10mediaworx.com\/covers\/proviso\/proviso-200x300.jpg\"><figcaption class=\"b10mwx\">Tales of Dunham #1, 3rd Ed<br \/>\u00a9 2008, 2015, 2026<br \/>Moriah Jovan<br \/>314,000 words (750 pages)<\/figcaption><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<article>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"eddtitle_dl\">Book 1 in the Dunham universe<\/p>\n<div class=\"linksbuyblock\" role=\"group\" aria-label=\"Buy The Proviso\">\n<p class=\"linksedd\">Buy direct:<\/p>\n\t<form id=\"edd_purchase_18363\" class=\"edd_download_purchase_form edd_purchase_18363\" method=\"post\">\n\n\t\t\t<div class=\"edd_price_options edd_multi_mode\" >\n\t\t<ul>\n\t\t\t<li id=\"edd_price_option_18363_epub\"><label for=\"edd_price_option_18363_1\"><input type=\"checkbox\"  checked='checked' name=\"edd_options[price_id][]\" id=\"edd_price_option_18363_1\" class=\"edd_price_option_18363\" value=\"1\" data-price=\"9.99\"\/>&nbsp;<span class=\"edd_price_option_name\">EPUB<\/span><span class=\"edd_price_option_sep\">&nbsp;&ndash;&nbsp;<\/span><span class=\"edd_price_option_price\">&#36;9.99<\/span><\/label><\/li><li id=\"edd_price_option_18363_pdf\"><label for=\"edd_price_option_18363_2\"><input type=\"checkbox\"  name=\"edd_options[price_id][]\" id=\"edd_price_option_18363_2\" class=\"edd_price_option_18363\" value=\"2\" data-price=\"9.99\"\/>&nbsp;<span class=\"edd_price_option_name\">PDF<\/span><span class=\"edd_price_option_sep\">&nbsp;&ndash;&nbsp;<\/span><span class=\"edd_price_option_price\">&#36;9.99<\/span><\/label><\/li>\t\t<\/ul>\n\t<\/div><!--end .edd_price_options-->\n\t\n\t\t<div class=\"edd_purchase_submit_wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<button class=\"edd-add-to-cart button has-edd-button-background-color has-edd-button-text-color edd-submit\" data-nonce=\"b19659bec1\" data-timestamp=\"1775945270\" data-token=\"bd8b9a725d94aa06f4bc584b8d422fa8f64ecc6ef4d2ad286e18f3c553004a58\" data-action=\"edd_add_to_cart\" data-download-id=\"18363\"  data-variable-price=\"yes\" data-price-mode=multi data-price=\"0.00\" ><span class=\"edd-add-to-cart-label\">Add to Cart<\/span> <span class=\"edd-loading\" aria-label=\"Loading\"><\/span><\/button><input type=\"submit\" class=\"edd-add-to-cart edd-no-js button has-edd-button-background-color has-edd-button-text-color edd-submit\" name=\"edd_purchase_download\" value=\"Add to Cart\" data-action=\"edd_add_to_cart\" data-download-id=\"18363\"  data-variable-price=\"yes\" data-price-mode=multi \/><a href=\"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/checkout\/\" class=\"edd_go_to_checkout button has-edd-button-background-color has-edd-button-text-color edd-submit\" style=\"display:none;\">Checkout<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"edd-cart-ajax-alert\" aria-live=\"assertive\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"edd-cart-added-alert\" style=\"display: none;\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg class=\"edd-icon edd-icon-check\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"28\" height=\"28\" viewBox=\"0 0 28 28\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<path d=\"M26.11 8.844c0 .39-.157.78-.44 1.062L12.234 23.344c-.28.28-.672.438-1.062.438s-.78-.156-1.06-.438l-7.782-7.78c-.28-.282-.438-.673-.438-1.063s.156-.78.438-1.06l2.125-2.126c.28-.28.672-.438 1.062-.438s.78.156 1.062.438l4.594 4.61L21.42 5.656c.282-.28.673-.438 1.063-.438s.78.155 1.062.437l2.125 2.125c.28.28.438.672.438 1.062z\"\/>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/svg>\n\t\t\t\t\t\tAdded to cart\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!--end .edd_purchase_submit_wrapper-->\n\n\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"download_id\" value=\"18363\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"edd_action\" class=\"edd_action_input\" value=\"add_to_cart\">\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t<\/form><!--end #edd_purchase_18363-->\n\t\n<p class=\"linksedd\">&nbsp;<br \/>\n<span class=\"small85\">Lulu<\/span> <a class=\"proviso\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lulu.com\/shop\/moriah-jovan\/the-proviso\/hardcover\/product-7kjdgpe.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">hardcover<\/a><br \/>\n<span class=\"small85\">Amazon<\/span> <a class=\"proviso\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B0GSKN3ZDH\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Kindle<\/a> \u2022 <a class=\"proviso\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/0986127124\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">paperback<\/a><br \/>\n<span class=\"small85\">Barnes &#038; Noble<\/span> <a class=\"proviso\" href=\"https:\/\/www.barnesandnoble.com\/w\/the-proviso-moriah-jovan\/1100072670?ean=2940185049600\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Nook<\/a> \u2022 <a class=\"proviso\" href=\"https:\/\/www.barnesandnoble.com\/w\/the-proviso-moriah-jovan\/1100072670?ean=9780986127120\">paperback<\/a><br \/>\n<a class=\"proviso\" href=\"http:\/\/books.apple.com\/us\/book\/id6760857020\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Apple Books<\/a><br \/>\n<a class=\"proviso\" href=\"https:\/\/play.google.com\/store\/books\/details?id=qWXKEQAAQBAJ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Google Play Books<\/a><br \/>\n<a class=\"proviso\" href=\"https:\/\/www.kobo.com\/us\/en\/ebook\/the-proviso-tales-of-dunham-1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Kobo eBooks<\/a>\n\t<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/article>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"eddprovisotag_dl\">Lawyers, Guns &#038; Money<\/p>\n<p class=\"eddsum_dl\">In 1985, Knox Hilliard\u2019s uncle killed his father to marry his mother and gain control of the family\u2019s Fortune 100 company. Knox is set to inherit it on his 40th birthday, provided he has a wife and an heir.<\/p>\n<p class=\"eddsum_dl\">Now, in 2004, after his bride is murdered on their wedding day, Knox refuses to fulfill the proviso at all. When a brilliant law student catches his attention, he knows he must wait until after his 40th birthday to pursue her\u2014but he may not be able to resist her for four long years.<\/p>\n<p class=\"eddsum_dl\">Sebastian Taight, eccentric financier, steps between Knox and his uncle by initiating a hostile takeover. When Sebastian is appointed trustee of a company in receivership, he falls hard for its beautiful CEO. She has secrets that involve his uncle, but <span class=\"catb\"><em>his<\/em><\/span> secret could destroy any chance he has with her.<\/p>\n<p class=\"eddsum_dl\">Giselle Cox unwittingly exposed the affair that set her uncle\u2019s plot in motion twenty years ago. Because she holds his life in her hands, he\u2019s tried\u2014and failed\u2014to assassinate her. Twice. Then she runs into a much bigger problem: A man who takes her breath away, who can match and dominate her, whose soul is as scarred as his body.<\/p>\n<p class=\"eddsum_dl\">Knox, Sebastian, and Giselle: Three cousins at war with an uncle who will stop at nothing to keep Knox\u2019s inheritance. Never do they expect to find allies\u2014and love\u2014on the battlefield.<\/p>\n<hr class=\"navblock\" \/>\n<p class=\"eddsum_dl\">This is an upmarket contemporary family drama featuring the jarring and bizarre juxtaposition of explicit sex and overt religion, philosophy, politics, money, and cursing\u2014the really bad kind\u2014a smattering of violence, nude art, rampant armchair psychoanalysis, a slew of shoulda-coulda-wouldas, and a cat named Dog.<\/p>\n<p id=\"excerpt01\" class=\"eddtag_dl\">All of the feelz. None of the consequences.<\/p>\n<div class=\"navblock\">\n<p class=\"leftnavblock\">&#160;<\/p>\n<p class=\"rightnavblock\"><a class=\"arrowbig\" href=\"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/thebooks\/stay\/\">Book 2  \u2192<\/a><br \/>A childhood crush. An adolescent debt.<br \/>Two successful adults who have no reason to try.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"wingding\">\u203b<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisoepigraph\">Beware of entrance to a quarrel; but being in, bear\u2019t that th\u2019 oppos\u00e8d may beware of thee.<\/p>\n<hr class=\"navblock\" \/>\n<div class=\"provisodoc\">\n<p class=\"provisodoctitle\">OKH ENTERPRISES<br \/>\nSUCCESSION PROVISO<br \/>\n&#160;<br \/>\nApril 3, 1985<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisodoc\">Upon owner and president Oliver Lake Hilliard\u2019s death, OKH Enterprises (hereinafter referred to as the Company) shall be managed by a chief executive officer appointed by the Board of Directors at will and whenever the need arises. The Company shall then revert to the full control and ownership of F. Knox Oliver Hilliard on December 27, 2008, his fortieth birthday, provided he has married and produced an heir.<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisoosig\">Oliver Lake Delano Hilliard<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisodate\">Kansas City, Missouri<br \/>\n4\/3\/85<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<hr class=\"navblock\" \/>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">1: SAFE SPACE<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptdate\">August 2004<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">\u201cI AM GOING TO hook up with him if it\u2019s the last thing I do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice McKinley stared at her notebook, feeling violated by the woman in the row behind her. Justice thought she\u2019d missed all that queen bee mean girl business, but apparently, law school had its share.<\/p>\n<p>Queen Bee Sherry was beautiful, with glossy black hair and a slender figure dressed to perfection\u2014and she knew it. She stood out in the lecture hall full of jeans-and-tee-shirt-clad students, and her target was their substitute professor, who didn\u2019t seem to be interested in teaching anybody anything today.<\/p>\n<p>Indeed, he set the tone as soon as the second-hand hit the hour.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll right!\u201d he said cheerfully, rubbing his palms together. \u201cFirst years. Welcome to the UMKC School of Law. Let\u2019s get acquainted, shall we? Name and a few words on your career goals. I\u2019ll start. I\u2019m Knox Hilliard, and I\u2019m the prosecutor up in Chouteau County.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Chouteau County!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Justice\u2019s heart thundered. She had exactly three options for an attorney position that would balance her grandfather\u2019s expectations, her father\u2019s demands, and her mother\u2019s dreams, while being hobbled by meager resources. The Chouteau County prosecutor\u2019s office was one of those options, which meant this man was her future boss!<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI also teach white-collar crime on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, but today Dr. Grady called in a favor, so here I am.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Hilliard continued to speak while Sherry\u2019s friends laughed and slid comments back and forth as to what Sherry intended to do to him, which Justice didn\u2019t want to hear. She tossed an irritated glance over her shoulder. Immediately, the back of her chair was kicked, startling her. Another irritated glance. Another kick, harder this time.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSherry,\u201d Worker Bee Number One hissed, \u201cstop. She\u2019s gonna get mad.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s she going to do, read me Bible stories? Look at her! She\u2019s drooling all over her shabby little dress. She wouldn\u2019t know what to do with him if she had him.\u201d Justice gulped at the cruelty in the woman\u2019s voice, the <em>nanny-nanny-boo-boo<\/em> tone now close to her ear. \u201cI bet she wants to fuck him as much as I do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice averted her attention from Dr. Hilliard and tried to cool the rage and humiliation that welled up inside her, the color that flooded her face. It wouldn\u2019t have bothered her if Sherry hadn\u2019t seen Justice stop cold to gawk at him when she came through the door.<\/p>\n<p>He was at least six feet of big-boned muscle, primitive masculinity encased in a gray suit, crisp white shirt and contrasting tie, tasseled loafers, as if fine clothes could civilize him.<\/p>\n<p>He had an aristocratic face with a square jaw. His nose was long and straight, his mouth hard. His short light golden hair contrasted sharply with his tanned skin and made his cold blue eyes seem sharper, more omniscient.<\/p>\n<p>His voice was deep and rich, chock full of amusement as he strolled back and forth with an easy grace, a relaxed purpose to his long-legged gait that would allow him to stop on a dime or slow to accommodate the shorter stride of a person he respected or a woman he loved.<\/p>\n<p>If Justice had ever needed to see the perfect example of male beauty and masculine elegance, Dr. Hilliard was it.<\/p>\n<p>Apparently, everyone else agreed, which made Justice ashamed of herself for being so&#160;\u2026 common.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Doc<\/em>tor Cox!\u201d He boomed. \u201cYou\u2019re next.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At that, a woman\u2019s voice rang out from the back of the lecture hall. \u201cI\u2019m Giselle Cox\u2014\u201d Justice and everyone around her turned. \u201c\u2014and I\u2019m one of your TAs for this class. <em>Please<\/em> do not call me \u2018doctor.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A worker bee whispered, \u201cHey, isn\u2019t she the one\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes,\u201d Sherry whispered back. \u201cI\u2019d snack on that one, too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice curled her lip in disgust. Did this woman think of <em>nothing<\/em> else?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd what are you going to do with <em>your<\/em> law degree, <em>Doc<\/em>tor Cox?\u201d Dr. Hilliard taunted.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI have no idea,\u201d she answered lightly, which garnered some chuckles.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAre you one of those for whom a law degree is a last-ditch attempt at a career?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIsn\u2019t that what happens when you\u2019re pushing thirty-five and don\u2019t know what you want to be when you grow up?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice only then noticed the number of older students, realizing this was truer than not.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou <em>do<\/em> have a PhD in eighteenth-century British literature,\u201d he mocked. \u201cCouldn\u2019t find a teaching gig?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, please. You teach a night class at a state commuter school and prosecute cow tippers in Podunk County.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He laughed, his humor transforming him from merely perfect to majestic, and because he hadn\u2019t called her out, had even laughed, it meant everyone else was free to laugh too.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAlso,\u201d the TA said to the class in general, \u201cplease turn your assignments in to me or Neal before you leave today.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Hilliard worked his way around the room, starting from the back where the TA was. Justice watched him surreptitiously, trying not to let her thoughts show.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d never had this problem before. Her life was laid out in front of her. She didn\u2019t have time for distractions and she had zero interest in getting involved with a man\u2014<em>especially<\/em> one in whose office she needed to work.<\/p>\n<p><em>You <\/em>will<em> go to law school, Iustitia, and you <\/em>will<em> graduate with honors and you <\/em>will<em> become a prosecutor. No argument.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Her late grandfather\u2019s voice rang in her head. She was four-sevenths of the way to being able to fulfill that mandate, and she wasn\u2019t going to allow anything to knock her off track.<\/p>\n<p><em>This is your home and you\u2019re going to stay here and take care of me.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Not even her father, who resented every second she spent off his property not working, not catering to him, not taking up the slack her mother had left behind.<\/p>\n<p><em>I need you to promise me you won\u2019t be stupid like I was and let a man sucker you. That\u2019s a trap and I got caught. \u2026&#160;I want you to get out. Find a way to get out.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Her late mother\u2019s desperate plea had formed Justice\u2019s view of romance, but since she\u2019d never been susceptible to a man\u2019s charms, she hadn\u2019t worried about it.<\/p>\n<p>Until now.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMs Quails,\u201d Dr. Hilliard said. \u201cYour turn.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPay attention, little girl,\u201d Sherry said in Justice\u2019s ear before sitting back. \u201cCorporate. But what I really want to talk about is what you\u2019re doing this weekend? <em>All<\/em> weekend.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice almost choked. The room held its collective breath at her brazenness, and Dr. Hilliard gaped at her. Then a blinding smile flashed across his face, before turning into a smirk. He drew closer. \u201cAfter class,\u201d he drawled, his predatory tone matching Sherry\u2019s perfectly. \u201cI\u2019ll see what I can arrange.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCertainly&#160;\u2026 Knox.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice thought she was going to puke.<\/p>\n<p>He continued with the next person down the row, but Justice spaced out, ignoring Sherry and her friends, ignoring Dr. Hilliard, too, because after <em>that<\/em>&#160;\u2026 The regular prof would be back Friday, but he was still the man she\u2019d have to interview for if she wanted a decent job close to home.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd what about you, Ms McKinley?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice, startled, looked up to see him watching her expectantly. Her face burned. She cleared her throat. Her nerves were pinging and she was nauseated. \u201cI\u2014 I want to be a prosecutor,\u201d she said and then, to her horror, she added, \u201clike you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sherry and her friends snickered.<\/p>\n<p>Surprise flickered in his ice blue eyes. His grin faded to a kindly bemused smile. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>What? He hadn\u2019t asked any other students <em>why<\/em> or probed beyond quick outlines of their career goals. This changed everything because it was an opportunity to make an impression. Her answer would determine her entire future, and right now, she had his <em>complete<\/em> attention.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2014 I want to help people,\u201d she began nervously, acutely aware she had everyone else\u2019s attention, too. \u201cI think criminals&#160;\u2026 that they get off too easy sometimes.\u201d She went on because she couldn\u2019t <em>not<\/em>. \u201cUm, personal property rights\u2014meaning oneself and one\u2019s belongings\u2014were meant to be held sacred. That\u2019s what the Founding Fathers wanted. Life and valuables are cheap because the legal system doesn\u2019t punish real criminals well enough and petty crimes too much. There\u2019s no real sense of justice for the victims. They don\u2019t ever get made whole, and never mind if innocent people get caught in a net that has nothing to do with them. You\u2019re innocent. So what. Cops don\u2019t care. They got their arrest.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She was settling in, talking faster, stronger, louder.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAs for the police, they can treat people any way they want to, take what they want, then hide behind RICO statutes and qualified immunity, which, by the way, is a violation of the Fourth Amendment. Not only are they treated like criminals for no reason, they can\u2019t get their property back. I mean, yeah, you can beat the rap, but you can\u2019t beat the ride, and the poor and minorities who are unfairly and disproportionately targeted can least afford the ride. Their lives are ruined for&#160;\u2026 what? Driving while black? Carrying too much cash? <em>Those<\/em> people don\u2019t get made whole, either.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI want to help make the law a deterrent again\u2014to, oh, legally avenge those whose lives are violated by someone else, especially by those who are supposed to protect them. I want to restore people\u2019s constitutional rights. I want to give victims of real crime a sense of justice and closure, but I <em>also<\/em> want to do right by people who are accused of crimes they may or may not have committed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe point is innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around. It\u2019s not the prosecutor\u2019s job to put <em>everyone<\/em> in jail and it\u2019s not the defense\u2019s job to prove innocence. Sure, I could try to effect change as a public defender or an activist, but that\u2019s a <em>re<\/em>active position. As a prosecutor, I would have a <em>pro<\/em>active position to change the system from the inside.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Silence reigned throughout the lecture hall. Suddenly aware she had given her professor\u2014<em>future boss<\/em>\u2014a lecture he probably didn\u2019t agree with, she couldn\u2019t bear to meet Dr. Hilliard\u2019s probing gaze. She plastered her eyes on his tie and tried to hold back tears of frustration and embarrassment.<\/p>\n<p>Then Sherry laughed. Her friends laughed. The room exploded in laughter\u2014 raucous, jeering guffaws aimed at Justice.<\/p>\n<p>This was going to be a long three years.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>ENOUGH!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The roar echoed off the walls, and Justice\u2019s head snapped up. Dr. Hilliard strolled away from her, his hands in the pockets of his fine gray suit.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow dare you,\u201d he growled. His lazy syntax and rural twang were gone, replaced by precise upper-class hauteur. His cheer had turned to rage in a blink, and Justice watched, confused. It had been so immediate, so effortless.<\/p>\n<p>For&#160;\u2026 <em>her?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow dare you denigrate the career goals of a fellow student. I daresay none of you has thought that deeply about what you want and why you want it. None of you has expressed yourselves so passionately that the room was enthralled. None of you was courageous enough to say what you really thought. How dare you sit on your pretentiously cynical asses and laugh at idealism. Idealism is what created this country, it\u2019s what drives it, it\u2019s what allows you to be here on Daddy\u2019s money.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He pointed to different sections of the room in turn. \u201cYou. You. You.\u201d He began the slow trek back across the platform toward Justice. She caught the faintest whiff of an elegant cologne as he leaned alongside her toward Sherry. \u201cAnd <em>you<\/em>, Ms Quails,\u201d he purred. It was not a nice purr. \u201c<em>You<\/em> can go fuck yourself, because I certainly won\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The room gasped. Sherry whimpered. Dr. Hilliard\u2019s expression softened when it settled upon Justice who, with tears of mortification, looked away from his large harshness and golden darkness.<\/p>\n<p>Fingertips under her chin gently forced her face around and up. She tried to blink her tears away before he saw them.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you believe in vigilante justice, Justice?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo,\u201d she croaked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat about theft versus crimes against the body?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She cleared her throat and said in a stronger voice, \u201cProperty is to be held as sacred as the body and vice versa.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRevenge?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLaw.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBlack and white?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRight and wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice followed his line of reasoning without effort because she knew these things, believed these things, believed in the brilliance and genius of Fr\u00e9d\u00e9ric Bastiat, the Enlightenment, the Austrian school.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe he did too.<\/p>\n<p>They had touched, somehow, an experienced attorney somewhere in his mid-thirties and Justice, a twenty-two-year-old law student who\u2019d been in classes three whole days, his office her target long before today for reasons that had nothing to do with him.<\/p>\n<p>His thumb drifted across her cheekbone as he stood looking down at her. Justice was only vaguely aware of the tense silence surrounding her. His mind was connecting with hers the way his fingertips were connecting with her skin.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cVery good, Justice,\u201d he murmured.<\/p>\n<p>She stared up into Dr. Hilliard\u2019s gorgeous blue eyes and fell in love.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">GISELLE STOOD AT the door to the lecture hall collecting students\u2019 assignments as they filed out avoiding Dr. Hilliard or giving him the side-eye. Justice McKinley lingered, waiting, obviously <em>hoping<\/em> he would speak to her, but he was at the lectern pretending to sort through things, ignoring everyone, <em>especially<\/em> Justice. The girl finally gave up headed through the door, handing her work to Giselle without a word.<\/p>\n<p>Giselle stuffed the papers in her bag and rushed out into the hall to catch up with her, reaching out to brush her shoulder. She started, turned, nearly cowered, her amber eyes wide. \u201cUm&#160;\u2026 Hi? Did I\u2014 Did I forget something?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ll let you know,\u201d Giselle said quietly, aware of the wary glances cast their way. She got attention wherever she went whether she wanted it or not, and right now, she wanted it. No one who knew any better would bother Justice now that Dr. Cox had publicly taken sides. \u201cYou did well in class.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice studied her warily, as if trying to figure out if Giselle would make fun of her. \u201cUh&#160;\u2026 I don\u2019t know\u2014 I mean\u2014\u201d She stammered nonsense words Giselle ignored while taking inventory.<\/p>\n<p>She was taller than Giselle by a good three inches or more, and she was in worn chintz, a gaudily flowered Gunne Sax dress straight out of 1985, complete with a large white collar. Giselle couldn\u2019t begin to guess what was under that poor dress, but if Justice\u2019s legs were anything to go by, she had a lot of potential.<\/p>\n<p>Her dull mahogany hair was in a thick waist-length braid limned in frizz that caught the sunlight and made it look more out of control than it was. Her face was odd, with a thick coating of foundation as if she were trying to hide acne, but it was smooth, so she must be hiding freckles. Freckles would go with the hair and it was a damn shame they were hidden, because she also had exquisite bone structure.<\/p>\n<p>Giselle was tempted to take Justice for a makeover simply because she\u2019d been so fabulous in class, but letting <em>that<\/em> butterfly loose would unleash a hurricane all over Knox\u2019s already chaotic life. The last thing he needed was more chaos on top of what had happened in class. He\u2019d be lucky if he didn\u2019t get fired or sued or both.<\/p>\n<p><em>Way to go, Dr. Dumbass.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Giselle couldn\u2019t tell if Justice was more clueless or poor, but it didn\u2019t matter. Justice needed to look like this for as long as possible in case he was tempted to do something stupider. Besides, Giselle didn\u2019t have any money, either.<\/p>\n<p>Justice kept mumbling things Giselle still couldn\u2019t hear. Then, over the girl\u2019s shoulder, Giselle saw Knox in the stairwell, staring at her. She tilted her head in question. He slid a cold look at Sherry and the outraged women around her. Giselle glanced at them, back at him, and raised an eyebrow. He gave her a curt nod.<\/p>\n<p>Justice was still muttering, dammit. Giselle wished she didn\u2019t have to talk to the top of her frizzy red head.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey,\u201d Giselle murmured, leaning over to look up into the girl\u2019s eyes. \u201cIllegitimi non carborundum.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice blinked and slowly raised her head.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere you go,\u201d Giselle murmured with a smile. \u201cTake heart. You impressed the only person you needed to impress, just by being yourself.\u201d Impressed? The man had fallen in love, which was unfortunate and inconvenient, considering he was getting married next month. \u201cKeep doing that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>But for heaven\u2019s sake, don\u2019t do it in front of him.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She gave Justice another encouraging smile, then left the building.<\/p>\n<p>To lie in wait.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSherry!\u201d Giselle chirped as the woman came around a corner. \u201cCan I, uh, <em>talk<\/em> to you a minute?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSure, Dr. Cox!\u201d Sherry called brightly.<\/p>\n<p>She almost rolled her eyes. The only people who called her <em>Dr. Cox<\/em> were Knox, who publicly mocked her with it, students in the classes she TA\u2019d who thought they could wheedle better grades out of her, and anybody else who wanted something from her\u2014which included Sherry, who followed Giselle eagerly to an out-of-the-way spot in a thick stand of trees.<\/p>\n<p>Giselle was somewhat of an oddity here. At least ten years older than most of the other students, she did indeed have a completely useless PhD. Further, she\u2019d built a successful business and grown it over several years. It was her childhood fantasy, her life\u2019s work, her blazing passion, but it had been torched three years before, leaving her bankrupt and homeless. She couldn\u2019t rebuild it for a variety of reasons and she was still heartsick. The only other thing she\u2019d really ever wanted to do was out of reach for her.<\/p>\n<p>Thus, law school was a complete fall from grace, but she wasn\u2019t alone in that. The University of Missouri at Kansas City was a commuter school, so a quarter of the students in her class were at least her age and had their own catalog of mishaps that had led them here.<\/p>\n<p>Once Giselle determined they were alone and well hidden, she turned to find Sherry backed up to a big oak, preening.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou got my attention,\u201d Giselle said huskily.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFinally,\u201d Sherry purred. \u201cWas that all I had to do? Go after someone else?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI can appreciate the balls it took to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, yes,\u201d Giselle cooed, caressing Sherry\u2019s cheek, then trailing her fingertips down her neck.<\/p>\n<p>Sherry gurgled when her head was slammed back against the tree, Giselle\u2019s hand clamped around her throat.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd stupid,\u201d Giselle whispered in Sherry\u2019s ear. \u201cI\u2019m going to tell you this once and I want you to make sure it gets spread around. Leave \u2013 Justice \u2013 McKinley \u2013 alone. If I hear a suggestion of a rumor that you, your skank patrol, or anyone else not even associated with you are giving her a hard time, I\u2019ll make you regret it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay,\u201d she gurgled, desperately clutching at Giselle\u2019s hands and gasping for air. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. Let me go. Please.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle allowed Sherry to run, and went back to her soul-crushing grind.<\/p>\n<p>Justice walked around campus as if everyone were out to get her.<\/p>\n<p>Knox went back to his day job and Tuesday-Thursday evening class.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">Until his fianc\u00e9e was murdered four weeks later.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">2: THE FIRST WIFE<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptdate\">September 2004<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">THE KANSAS CITY Crime Scene Unit had had to dredge Leah Wincott\u2019s body from a pond, so the casket remained closed. There was only one reason any bride of Knox Hilliard\u2014especially one who had a child\u2014would turn up dead.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce knew he should be more mindful of his friend and client lying at the front of the chapel garnering her due respects. Leah\u2019s death had too many implications for him to allow himself to be distracted, but he\u2019d taken one look across the room and now he could think of nothing but the woman who\u2019d caught his attention.<\/p>\n<p>She was sitting in a dark corner alone, slouched in the chair, her stilettos hanging on the rung of the chair in front of her, her arms folded across her chest, her ringless left hand holding a paper cup. He could only see her in profile: straight nose, full mouth, high cheekbones, all framed by dull blonde curls that dripped over her shoulders. She took a sip from her cup, then scowled down into it.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce didn\u2019t know who she was or what kind of a relationship she\u2019d had with Leah, but usually people didn\u2019t reach the anger stage of grief until <em>after<\/em> the funeral, so other than her beauty, what intrigued him was her anger.<\/p>\n<p>She raised a hand to plow her fingers through her curls in a futile attempt to keep them out of her eyes. She huffed, set her cup on the chair next to her, reached up, and began to braid it.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce exhaled. He wished she hadn\u2019t done that.<\/p>\n<p>The black velvet of her short bodice shimmered subtle gold and stretched over her breasts. He wanted to cup one in his hand, flick her nipple, suck it into his mouth.<\/p>\n<p>Her knee-length silk-and-chiffon skirt inched up her thigh until the hem caught on something distinctly out of place. Jerked out of his fantasy and into reality, he wondered what kind of injury would require a brace.<\/p>\n<p>She finished braiding and returned to slouching and scowling. An older woman passed behind her with a loving caress across her back, then said something.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Oh<\/em>,\u201d Bryce breathed, captivated when she looked up.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d seen that face before, in a Pre-Raphaelite painting he\u2019d studied in freshman humanities more than twenty years before. Lilith, Adam\u2019s first wife, who demanded equality with Adam and left Eden in a snit when he refused.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce had never forgotten that tale nor the painting. The idea that Adam had a wife before Eve shocked the hell out of him. Further, the particular point of Lilith\u2019s complaint against Adam had tortured him with his own desires\u2014ones that, at the time, he\u2019d been struggling to squelch.<\/p>\n<p>He felt no need to struggle anymore, so as he watched the real-life Lilith across the room from him, he didn\u2019t have to wonder if she\u2019d demand to be on top.<\/p>\n<p>He wondered how she\u2019d demand it.<\/p>\n<p>The older woman stopped speaking and waited for Lilith\u2019s response. Her beautiful mouth tightened and she looked away in thought. Finally, she nodded. Her full lips moved.<\/p>\n<p><em>Okay, Mom.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The mother walked away with a pat on Lilith\u2019s shoulder. As she arose, her full skirt caught again, on the chair this time. He blinked and looked again.<\/p>\n<p>That was no brace for an injury. It was a holster, complete with a gun. The black lace of the top of her stocking juxtaposed against the gun aroused him further.<\/p>\n<p>This Lilith had him harder than Collier\u2019s painting.<\/p>\n<p><em>Dammit<\/em>, she mouthed as she swept her hand down her body to straighten her dress and cover the gun. The black-and-gold fabrics flared and shimmered when she turned her back. Her stilettos forced the muscles of her legs into sharp relief and he almost groaned when she strutted away, disappearing into the dark recesses of the funeral home.<\/p>\n<p>He hung back, loath to follow her. He raised his left hand to feel his face, the burn scars that disfigured him, mocked him, kept him from approaching women because he hated the flinching, the badly disguised politeness.<\/p>\n<p><em>My God, what a monster. You\u2019d have to turn the lights out.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d overheard that whisper when his scars were still fresh. It didn\u2019t make him angry anymore, but it did serve to remind him of his sin, the punishment for his sin.<\/p>\n<p>An image seeped into his mind: Lilith, dangerous, muscular, on her knees in front of him, his hand in her hair, her mouth around him.<\/p>\n<p>His feet took it upon themselves to trace her path, his nose following a scent that should belong to a Lilith: citrus, flowers, almond, with a hint of sex. Far away from the chapel, toward a small, dimly lit room at the other end of the building, he rounded a corner and heard a delicate female voice.<\/p>\n<p>He stopped, ducked back, listened.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSay the words, Knox!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A whoosh of air. \u201cOkay, Giselle, okay,\u201d the deceased\u2019s groom said wearily. \u201cYou were right.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>She-SELL.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Not Lilith.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s disappointment was deep and sharp.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m <em>sorry<\/em>.\u201d The man\u2019s voice cracked. \u201cYou have no idea how sorry I am.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, I\u2019m sorry, too,\u201d Lilith groaned. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have said that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There was a pause, then the sound of rustling fabric. Bryce risked a peek around the corner and saw her engulfed in Hilliard\u2019s arms, his face in the crook of her neck, her arms wound around his shoulders and her fingers in his hair.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s heart thundering in his chest, he pulled himself away from the tableau and dropped back against the wall.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCome home with me tonight,\u201d Hilliard said. \u201cPlease. I need you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Shocked, immediately nauseated, pissed off, Bryce pushed away from the wall and stalked out of the funeral home.<\/p>\n<p>Leah Wincott, Bryce\u2019s friend and client, had died for the sake of a man who had a mistress.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce had a hard-on for a woman he didn\u2019t know, who wouldn\u2019t be interested in him anyway, who was the mistress of Leah\u2019s fianc\u00e9.<\/p>\n<p><em>Lilith<\/em>, succubus.<\/p>\n<p>That the man between Lilith and Leah was Knox Hilliard\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Bryce took a deep, shuddering breath.<\/p>\n<p>He felt thoroughly betrayed.<\/p>\n<p>Again.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">3: GIRL WITH GUN<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">GISELLE JERKED AWAY from Knox, now madder than she already was. \u201cSeriously?\u201d she gritted, trying to keep her temper under control. It wasn\u2019t about <em>her<\/em> right now. It wasn\u2019t <em>her<\/em> lover of five years who\u2019d been kidnapped and brutally murdered twenty minutes before saying <em>I do<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>She studied Knox\u2019s face, noticing how aged and haggard he looked. Thirty-five going on sixty. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll you want is comfort and I deserve more, <em>especially<\/em> from you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He sighed and stepped away from her, rubbing his mouth.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBesides, what about last month?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His eyes narrowed. \u201cWhat about last month?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was there, remember? You were a gonner the minute Justice opened her mouth.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI am not discussing that with you right now,\u201d he snarled. \u201cMaybe not ever.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle watched Knox pace in utter turmoil, but her conscience was equally tormented because she could have prevented Leah\u2019s death if she\u2019d stood her ground. Leah\u2019s rich south Texas drawl still echoed in her head.<\/p>\n<p><em>Honey, thank you, but I don\u2019t want a bodyguard right now. I\u2019m the most high-profile woman in the country and your uncle wouldn\u2019t dare have me killed. Once I\u2019m married to Knox, Fen won\u2019t have any reason to try to kill you again.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Nope. I\u2019m staying.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Giselle! Put that gun away and stop pacing. If you can\u2019t do that, leave. I\u2019m about to get married in front of five hundred people. I don\u2019t need your fidgets on top of mine.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>But\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I\u2019ve not had fifteen minutes to myself in over a year! Not even in the bathroom! Can you not give me this much? Let me pray in peace!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>It\u2019s going to be over in an hour. You can have your personal space back then.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Ma\u2019am, I agree with Ms Cox. Please let her stay with you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>We are in the middle of a large hotel in a remote gated compound surrounded by security. There are armed men outside my door and all up and down this hallway. What could possibly happen to me in fifteen minutes?!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Leah! Those gates are OPEN and there are almost a thousand people here! He\u2019ll have somebody here somewhere looking for an opportunity.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Out! All four of you!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Okay, you know what? I\u2019m going to go get Knox.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>You do that.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Like any good fianc\u00e9 should, Knox had overridden Giselle\u2019s arguments in favor of his fianc\u00e9e, tossing her and the other three bodyguards out of the bridal suite, leaving Leah alone and unprotected.<\/p>\n<p><em>What could possibly happen to me in fifteen minutes?!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It happened.<\/p>\n<p>But <em>now<\/em>&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNow you\u2019re stuck with the added guilt of falling in love with a different woman a month before your wedding.\u201d He winced. \u201cAnd, because you can\u2019t go five minutes without a woman to take care of you, you want <em>me<\/em>\u2014the person you didn\u2019t listen to\u2014even though you knew better\u2014to kiss your wittow owwie and make it all better.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, I do,\u201d he shot back, jerking her into his arms and kissing her with the worn familiarity of thirty years of history.<\/p>\n<p>She needed somebody, too, but it <em>certainly<\/em> wasn\u2019t Knox. It wasn\u2019t <em>anybody<\/em>, because she couldn\u2019t find the kind of man she wanted, and had given up, the way she\u2019d given up her dreams and gone to law school. Thirty-four and at the breaking point of her quest for celibacy until marriage, losing her virginity to the man who\u2019d spent a quarter of his life being her occasional faux boyfriend would be convenient, an elegant solution to every issue that surrounded them: She wouldn\u2019t die a virgin and he would get his inheritance.<\/p>\n<p>That was not an attractive prospect.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s the answer to the problem right there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She wheeled away from Knox, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFuck you,\u201d Knox snapped at the man in the doorway.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, fuck <em>her<\/em>,\u201d he said. \u201cMarry her. Knock her up. I don\u2019t care in which order that happens.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGet off my back. I\u2019m burying my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd we\u2019re going to be burying <em>you<\/em> next since Giselle refuses to die.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That was possible, if not probable, so Giselle said nothing. Knox, too, remained silent.<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian looked between her and Knox with his trademark scowl. At thirty-eight, he was six-feet-two of classic black Irish, intimidating at best, but with that sinister glower, terrifying to most. Right now, he was just irritating.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe\u2019d kill each other before a year was out,\u201d Knox finally muttered.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy? You\u2019ve been together on and off since before you knew what tongues were for.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe have <em>never<\/em> been <em>together<\/em>,\u201d Giselle snarled.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLots of people get married with less than what you two have. You don\u2019t have to <em>live<\/em> together.\u201d He pointed at Giselle. \u201cFen is never going to believe you won\u2019t marry Knox just to take OKH away from him. You will have a price on your head unless or until you marry somebody else, and the odds of that happening are nil. Marry Knox and voil\u00e0, you\u2019ve got the protection of the entire KCPD <em>and<\/em> the FBI. Everybody\u2019s safe and happy until Knox inherits OKH.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle wrapped her arms around herself, chilled to her soul. \u201cThe goal is for Knox to fulfill the terms of his inheritance. Marriage <em>and<\/em> a child.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Leah had been perfect because she already had a child, but that was what had gotten her killed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, but you both want kids, so\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSebastian! You are asking me to have a <em>child!<\/em> Knox\u2019s child. For what? Money.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNoooo,\u201d Sebastian drawled. \u201cTo destroy Fen.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI can deal with him without whoring out my uterus,\u201d she sneered.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re not using it for anything else!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She looked at him stonily. \u201cI do not want to have sex with Knox, I do not want to live with him, and I most <em>certainly<\/em> do not want to have children with him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s what adoption\u2019s for. Get married, adopt a kid, live separately.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo it\u2019s totally okay with you that an innocent human being gets dragged into this just so Knox can inherit, and then gets shuttled around between two different homes. What, a <em>child<\/em> is just a tool to you? A working part?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He bowed his head and rubbed the back of his neck. \u201cNo,\u201d he muttered. \u201cThat\u2019s not what I meant.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know,\u201d she sniped. \u201cThat\u2019s my point.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He shot her glare. \u201cThen make Fen go away.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her heart skipped a couple of beats. Fantasizing about murdering the man who wanted to keep her from facilitating Knox\u2019s inheritance was one thing. <em>Doing<\/em> it was another thing entirely.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou know what?\u201d Knox said. \u201cForget OKH. I don\u2019t want it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle\u2019s jaw dropped, and Sebastian asked slowly, \u201cWhat do you mean, you don\u2019t want it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI have no interest in it and it\u2019s not worth the price.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUh,\u201d Sebastian said after a moment of stunned silence, \u201cyou\u2019ve spent twenty years preparing to take over that company when you turn forty. When, exactly, did you have this change of heart?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe minute I took over the prosecutor\u2019s office,\u201d Knox snapped. \u201cI can\u2019t manage shit. I put people in jail and I teach. That\u2019s all I\u2019m good at.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat was eight years ago. Could you not have told us this sooner?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He groaned. \u201cI didn\u2019t know how much I dreaded it until I was waiting for Leah to walk down the aisle, having to take a job I\u2019m not suited for, don\u2019t know how to do, and never wanted to begin with.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere are exactly two immediate solutions to the problem, neither of which you or Giselle are willing to do. So, of course it\u2019s up to me to bail your ass out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Nobody asked you to!<\/em>\u201d Knox roared. \u201cYou\u2019ve got your own agenda, which is to take Fen down, <em>not<\/em> to help me. <em>My<\/em> agenda is to not have to deal with it at all.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian stared at him in stony silence.<\/p>\n<p>Giselle watched. Waited.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, Sebastian spoke. Low, threateningly. \u201cTwo people are dead, your father and your wife. Fen has taken out two hits on Giselle and she\u2019s walking around with blood on her hands, looking over her shoulder. And you want to cut and run? You\u2019ll take out a serial killer to save people you don\u2019t know, but you won\u2019t do it again to avenge and save the people you love. Nice.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That found its target.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s not fair,\u201d Giselle interjected when Knox sighed. \u201cHe and Leah were twenty minutes away from solving the problem. In the last two weeks, he\u2019s been frantically looking for her, watching her get pulled out of a pond, and identifying her body. Then, while he\u2019s making funeral arrangements, he has to deal with federal agents wanting to charge him with her murder. Have a little empathy for once in your life, and give him space to grieve and time to get his head together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian held her gaze second for second. He was furious. With whom or what, exactly, she wasn\u2019t sure, but he looked away first.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThank you,\u201d Knox croaked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m not finished,\u201d she said at Knox. He was adrift, needing to be told what to do and it was her job to get him anchored. It always had been. \u201cGo back to your crooked little outfit up there in Chouteau County and think about your <em>options<\/em> for <em>justice<\/em>.\u201d Knox\u2019s nostrils flared and his jaw clenched. \u201cThe only way you\u2019re going to get out from under OKH is by being dead. You,\u201d she said, pointing at Sebastian, \u201cbusiness as usual. Any which way this turns out, you win, so stop whining. You would\u2019ve done this a long time ago if Knox had come to his epiphany earlier.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou do remember Congress wants my head, right?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFuck that. There\u2019s not enough brawn back there to string you up, much less brains. If you do get called up, you\u2019ll find the whole thing a lark.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle strode toward the door, expecting Sebastian to move out of her way. He did.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m done talking. All we do is talk.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd what are you going to <em>do<\/em> then, princess?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou don\u2019t need to know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">\u201cDON\u2019T MOVE.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The distinguished silver-haired gentleman halted at the cold round pressure at the back of his head. He stiffened when Giselle wrapped her hand around his throat, thumb and middle finger pressed into his carotids to keep him still.<\/p>\n<p>She leaned forward.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou are alive by Knox\u2019s grace,\u201d she whispered conversationally, \u201cwho has requested in good faith that I not kill you. If you try to have me killed again, if you attempt to kill Knox at all, if you pull any more stunts like killing any future brides, I\u2019ll consider you to be fair game. I <em>should<\/em> blow your head off for murdering Leah.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI didn\u2019t die in the fire your goons set. I didn\u2019t die when your goons shot me. I\u2019m alive and both of your goons are dead and barbecued\u2014and the prosecutor was happy I did him the favor of cleaning up after him. So instead of being in the ground, I\u2019m here. With you. Your security doesn\u2019t know, and the only thing keeping me from putting a bullet in your head right now is Knox. You have known me for thirty years. Do you <em>really<\/em> think you can take me on and win?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She felt his throat bob against her fingertips.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI didn\u2019t think so. Have a nice evening, Unk.\u201d She paused. \u201cOh! I almost forgot. Mom said to tell you Thanksgiving will be at her house this year, two o\u2019clock sharp, as usual.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">4: FREAKONOMICS<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">\u201cBRYCE, ARE YOU OKAY?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce sat in his leather chair looking out over the city. High up in his corner office, all glass, he could see for miles\u2014so very \u00e0 propos for a pit bull of a trial lawyer.<\/p>\n<p>He pursed his lips as he held his fingers steepled under his chin, feeling more like a teenager with his first crush than a thirty-eight-year-old mover and shaker.<\/p>\n<p><em>Lilith.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d he muttered, lying to his assistant without a thought.<\/p>\n<p>Arlene snorted. \u201cFine, my ass.\u201d Normally that would\u2019ve pulled a grin out of him. Today&#160;\u2026 no.<\/p>\n<p><em>Giselle.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Knox Hilliard\u2019s lover.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d spent the last two nights googling that damned painting, studying it, re-reading its history and provenance and myth, comparing it to the woman who\u2019d made him fantasize about things he hadn\u2019t bothered to fantasize about in years. The work was part of the permanent collection in a gallery in England. He knew he had no hope of buying it, but he\u2019d sent an email of inquiry anyway. Just in case. No one had responded.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHave you seen the news today? Leah\u2019s everywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce spun around and googled.<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisoheadline\">OKHE bride murdered, groom suspected<\/p>\n<p>He clicked the article and skimmed until his attention caught:<\/p>\n<div class=\"provisonews\">\n<p class=\"provisonews1\">Fen Hilliard, current CEO of OKH Enterprises, was questioned in the matter of Wincott\u2019s death, but released after several hours. No evidence has been found to connect either F Hilliard or Knox Hilliard to her murder, but investigations of both continue in light of K Hilliard\u2019s reputation and F Hilliard\u2019s apparent motive.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s lip curled with resentment. Fen shouldn\u2019t have been released so easily from questioning since he had so much to gain from Leah\u2019s death. When Bryce\u2019s wife and four children had burned to death, the police had been waiting for him to be discharged from the hospital to arrest him for their murders because he\u2019d had so much to gain. He\u2019d been charged and his criminal trial begun before the fire investigator had come back with the evidence that cleared him.<\/p>\n<p>There were still people who believed Bryce really had murdered his wife and kids, then bought his way out from under the charge.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think Knox did it,\u201d Arlene offered.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce grunted. \u201cHe had no reason to, but Fen sure as hell did.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFen Hilliard would <em>never<\/em> do something like that,\u201d Arlene growled. He looked up, puzzled by her anger. \u201cHe signs the paychecks of half my family. He rescued OKH when we thought it was going to go under and he saved us. He\u2019s a good man.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ah, yes. J. Fenimore Hilliard, a modern, <em>moral<\/em> version of Boss Tom Pendergast, straight out of 1930s Kansas City, its industrial knight in shining armor. Unlike Pendergast, however, Fen didn\u2019t have a monopoly on government concrete contracts, nor could he use the Kansas City police department as his personal messenger service, nor did he have enough political power to put a man in the Senate.<\/p>\n<p>He didn\u2019t need it. He was on the right side of the law, his business acumen was stellar, his philanthropy sincere and effective, and he employed a thousand people he paid very well. It was enough to make people forget he\u2019d taken OKH over completely after his brother Oliver died, then married the widow, Trudy, a month after the funeral.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce shouldn\u2019t have been surprised at Arlene\u2019s vehemence. She idolized Boss Tom, too.<\/p>\n<p>By comparison, Knox Hilliard, Oliver and Trudy\u2019s son, Fen\u2019s nephew and stepson, and the heir to OKH, was hardly a model citizen. As the elected prosecutor of a neighboring county, he <em>did<\/em> have political power Fen didn\u2019t have. Furthermore, his office <em>was<\/em> corrupt <em>and<\/em> he\u2019d murdered a man in an act of vigilantism that kept him in power.<\/p>\n<p>Those were the rumors, anyway. Ten years ago, Knox had been questioned for the execution-style murder of a serial killer he\u2019d tried\u2014and lost\u2014but the investigation had stalled out and no charges were ever brought. However, everyone \u201cknew\u201d he\u2019d done it, so it wasn\u2019t difficult for anyone to believe he was capable of murdering his bride.<\/p>\n<p>Except&#160;\u2026 he had too much to lose by doing so. It simply made no sense that a man that brilliant would kill a woman he\u2019d been with five years and had seemed to love, who would <em>also<\/em> secure his inheritance for him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd,\u201d Arlene added, \u201cI would think <em>you<\/em> of all people would know better than to assume someone\u2019s guilty just because everything points in his direction.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s eyebrow rose at that, just enough to let her know she\u2019d gone too far. Her mouth tightened and she turned to walk out of his office. He would\u2019ve fired anyone else for saying that, true or not, but Arlene was excellent at her job and had stuck by him through the roughest parts of building his practice.<\/p>\n<p>He turned back to the article.<\/p>\n<div class=\"provisonews\">\n<p class=\"provisonews2\">According to the terms of the proviso Oliver Hilliard approved and slipped into the corporate charter just days before his death, K Hilliard\u2019s inheritance of OKH Enterprises is guaranteed so long as he is married and has a child by his 40th birthday.<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisonews2\">When WSJ asked F Hilliard what these terms meant for his leadership, he said, \u201cIt\u2019s my great pleasure to safeguard my nephew\u2019s inheritance for him. I\u2019m looking forward to the handoff so I can pursue other opportunities and maybe go fishing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisonews2\">There is some concern that F Hilliard\u2019s decision to take the company public some years ago has actually made an end run around the proviso, but legal experts who have studied the clause have come to the consensus that K Hilliard will be entitled to the majority shares the company holds for itself and will be its de facto CEO at that point, and that his claim would hold up in court if challenged.<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisonews2\">However, if K Hilliard does not fulfill the terms of the proviso, F Hilliard will remain at its helm indefinitely.<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisonews2\">To complicate matters, K Hilliard\u2019s cousin, financier Sebastian Taight, suddenly began to acquire OKHE stock at a steady pace two years ago. Taight is known across the country for his \u201cFix-or-Raid\u201d protocol with regard to troubled companies that hire his restructuring services. What he plans to do with OKHE, whether K Hilliard inherits or not, is unknown, and Taight has refused to comment.<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisonews2\">To date, K Hilliard\u2019s wedding and announcement of a birth are the most anticipated events in the manufacturing sector, especially as the deadline looms. If he fulfills the terms of the proviso within the next four years, his net worth could increase by as much as a half billion dollars.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Bryce wasn\u2019t going to argue Knox\u2019s worthiness to inherit OKH or ability to run it, but Fen wasn\u2019t all rainbows and unicorns, and Knox did have his selling points, to wit: He was one of the best white-collar prosecutors in the country. His true talent, though, lay in turning baby lawyers into courtroom lions. His name on an attorney\u2019s CV guaranteed a meteoric career path. Under Knox\u2019s leadership, the Chouteau County prosecutor\u2019s office had evolved into a residency program for litigators whose tales of corruption and dirty money had yet to be substantiated by the FBI.<\/p>\n<p>Not that it didn\u2019t try. Every lawyer in town joked that the FBI had been back and forth to Knox\u2019s office so many times, the Missouri Department of Transportation had to repave that section of highway every six months.<\/p>\n<p>In a sidebar:<\/p>\n<div class=\"provisonews\">\n<p class=\"provisonews1\">Yesterday, OKHE stock price plummeted in the wake of another of Sebastian Taight\u2019s mass buys. The SEC is expected to disallow any more buys by Taight if he does not account for his voting record as a majority shareholder. In addition, there are some murmurings on Capitol Hill about the legitimacy and legality of Taight\u2019s past raids.<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisonews2\">Senator Roger Oth (R-Penn.), Taight\u2019s most vocal opponent, said today, \u201cHe and businessmen like him need to be brought to heel by someone with some power. As far as I can see, Congress is the only entity with that kind of power.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisonews2\">Before being elected to office, Senator Oth was the CEO of Jep Industries, a company Taight dismantled after having been hired to restructure and streamline its operations. Taight would give no reason for his decision to break Jep Industries, nor has he answered questions as to his motive for pursuing OKH Enterprises.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>And Sebastian Taight was the monkey wrench in the power play between OKH\u2019s CEO and its heir. Venture capitalist Taight had his fingers in so many pies nobody could keep track of them all. He even speculated heavily in art. Although scrupulously honest, he had a reputation for taking any leverage where he could get it, being completely ruthless about it, destroying anyone who so much as looked at him wrong, and remaining silent to the press.<\/p>\n<p>Taight had a lot of enemies in Congress, so the drumbeats on Capitol Hill calling for his head got a little louder every time he thumbed his nose at the SEC, every time he refused to explain his Fix-or-Raid policy. His aggressive takeover of OKH had made it worse: Now the Senate was agitating to haul him before a panel hearing.<\/p>\n<p>But even with Congress against him, Taight had the power to destroy both Fen and Knox Hilliard. Until the night of Leah\u2019s visitation, Bryce, along with the rest of the country, had assumed Taight to be on the warpath with both Hilliards, but now&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Before Lilith\u2014<em>Giselle<\/em>\u2014had caught his eye, Bryce noticed Taight shouldering up with Knox, giving him support, not leaving him to face the cream of society and bona fide mourners alone. The men were cousins, but they\u2019d acted more like brothers, which only left the question of why he wanted OKH so badly he was willing to destroy it to get it away from both Fen and Knox\u2014and why Knox treated him like a brother anyway.<\/p>\n<p>Fen Hilliard, Sebastian Taight, and Knox Hilliard, three of the most brilliant men in the country, were a family very publicly at war.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s email dinged. He glanced to see if it required his immediate attention. It was from the art gallery that had <em>Lilith<\/em>. Heart pounding, he clicked on the subject line.<\/p>\n<div class=\"tb30\">\n<div class=\"lr12\">\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">Re: Lilith<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\">Dear Mr. Kenard,<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\">Thank you for your inquiry regarding <span class=\"cali\">Lilith<\/span> by the Hon. John Collier. We regret that the painting is not for sale. Please let us know if there is anything else we may be able to help you with.<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\">M. Stevens,<br \/>\nCurator<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Although Bryce knew he wouldn\u2019t have been able to have it at any price, disappointment stabbed at him anyway. He pulled up <em>Lilith<\/em>, and as he stared at her, he wondered what it would take to possess the real one, the one in the little black dress who answered to the name of Giselle.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">5: OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptdate\">October 2004<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">JUSTICE BOUNCED ALONG the rutted gravel road to her house, her old car\u2019s struts unable to absorb the shocks. She had no idea how much longer it could take the three-day-a-week eighty-four-mile round-trip from her village of River Glen, just north of Chouteau City, to the University of Missouri at Kansas City. It had made it through four years of undergrad on just the repairs she could do herself, but it burned oil and needed a new muffler, neither of which she could afford to have fixed. She couldn\u2019t repair them herself because she didn\u2019t have the equipment and even if she did, she couldn\u2019t afford the parts. If she believed in a god at all, she\u2019d be on her knees begging for its longevity, at least for the five and a half semesters until she graduated from law school. With any luck, she\u2019d continue to be able to arrange her schedule as well as she had this semester\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u2014even if that meant she wouldn\u2019t have Dr. Hilliard, who only taught Tuesday and Thursday evening classes. She needed those two days to work the farm, to the point that it was non-negotiable.<\/p>\n<p>It didn\u2019t matter anyway. There were so many women vying for his classes she\u2019d never be able to register for them in time. It distressed her that she was only one amongst many of his admirers, so she tried not to think about it. <\/p>\n<p>Sherry, however, was not one of the many. In fact, Justice, who\u2019d had three classes with her, hadn\u2019t seen her since the end of the second week. Had she been kicked out? Had she left? She <em>should<\/em> have been kicked out for such outrageously unprofessional behavior. Justice certainly would have left in shame if she\u2019d behaved so badly.<\/p>\n<p>The rumor was that Dr. Hilliard had been sued for his outburst, which was exactly what Justice had expected to happen, and she was quite surprised he hadn\u2019t also been fired. One didn\u2019t use the f-bomb in class toward a student, much less in its sexual connotation, without repercussions. He had to have known what would happen and he\u2019d done it anyway\u2014on <em>Justice\u2019s<\/em> behalf.<\/p>\n<p>Since nothing said <em>crazy<\/em> like stalking, cyber or otherwise, the only thing she\u2019d learned since The Incident was that the rumor was no rumor. He had indeed been sued, but not by Sherry. The complainant wasn\u2019t even one of her cohorts; it was some random woman who\u2019d been in the class and claimed to feel threatened by his very presence on campus.<\/p>\n<p>Seven figures.<\/p>\n<p>That was what he might have to pay for defending Justice so viciously. Of course, if he settled or lost, <em>he<\/em> wouldn\u2019t have to pay it. That was what insurance was for. No government employee had that kind of money at their disposal.<\/p>\n<p>Despite feeling filthy about it, she\u2019d found the pleading, printed it out, and carried it around like a talisman.<\/p>\n<p>Once she had turned onto her property and parked in her usual spot, she sat for a moment, jolted back to reality at the sight of her lifelong home, trying desperately not to compare and contrast it to the homes in the fine old neighborhoods surrounding UMKC. She pointedly ignored the relatively new subdivisions as she drove into Kansas City, fine new houses she would never live in, in neighborhoods with rich grass and trees and flowers and sidewalks and friendly dogs, where people mowed lawns on Saturday, backyard barbecue was always on the menu, and children screamed and laughed and splashed and played. Loudly.<\/p>\n<p>She shook her head, upset with her fantasies because they made her hurt for a life she would never have. She put Dr. Hilliard and her other fantasies of living well out of her mind until bedtime. Real life was demanding her attention and she had to get to it.<\/p>\n<p>The dilapidated farmhouse, indistinguishable from any other plain, filthy, peeling white-clapboard-clad gothic revival farmhouse across the Midwest, listed on one corner. That could never be repaired without shoring up the foundation and it wasn\u2019t worth the money. The yard was barren, packed dirt bisected by a poorly maintained gravel drive. It was where she parked worn-out and rusting farm machinery. The corrugated steel barn to the east of the house displayed a lace of rust. The abandoned chicken coop hadn\u2019t housed chickens in four years.<\/p>\n<p>The wheat crop would be poor. Justice had wanted to plant corn, but her father had overruled her. The fields were as worn out as her machinery, but her father also wouldn\u2019t hear of letting her turn the cattle out into them. Certainly, it would be more economical to let them eat it than pay for harvesting.<\/p>\n<p><em>Very good, Justice.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Seven figures.<\/p>\n<p><em>You impressed the only person you needed to impress, just by being yourself.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She studied the ragged wheat, the thin cattle in the too-small pasture grazing on tufts, and made an executive decision. Then she mentally scoured the list of other things she had to do that afternoon and evening. She closed her eyes and sighed, seeing her future in her past while desperately hoping her future would be a tad brighter once she graduated from law school, had a regular income, and could make something of this place.<\/p>\n<p>Justice went into the house, hearing the familiar squeaks in the bare floorboards all the way to the tiny kitchen that hadn\u2019t changed since the Depression. There was a bare bulb hanging from the ceiling, an ancient stove and refrigerator, a sink she couldn\u2019t get clean, and an even more ancient refrigerator dedicated to her father\u2019s beer. The windows were open and ratty curtains were blowing.<\/p>\n<p>She shouldn\u2019t complain. There were lots of people who had less than she did. She knew. She drove through those inner-city neighborhoods to get to school.<\/p>\n<p>She flipped on the light and looked around. It was cleaner than it looked, but that didn\u2019t say much. She didn\u2019t want to fix her dinner in a dirty kitchen, but she was hungry and she had chores that had to be done before the sun set. Then she had to do schoolwork. She sighed heavily. There was no <em>time<\/em> to clean. If she managed to make her bed every morning and scrub the toilet once a week, it was an accomplishment.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJustice.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She jumped at her father\u2019s voice. He was standing in the doorway of the kitchen in worn overalls. \u201cWhat.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYour student loan come in?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s a <em>student<\/em> loan. I spent it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His eyebrows shot into his hairline. \u201c<em>All<\/em> of it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes,\u201d she lied without a hitch. There were no student loans. She\u2019d paid for her BS with grants and scholarships. She was paying for her JD the same way. The farm hadn\u2019t made a profit for years and now it was actively losing money, so those funds kept the farm limping along, too.<\/p>\n<p>She was <em>very<\/em> proud of herself. She had to be.<\/p>\n<p>No one else would.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe tractor needs fixed or we can\u2019t harvest the wheat.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe wheat\u2019s useless,\u201d she said flatly, dumping her stuff on the floor and jerking open the refrigerator. \u201cI\u2019m letting the cattle at it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>To her shock, he didn\u2019t argue.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy don\u2019t <em>you<\/em> fix the tractor? You can do it as well as I can and you\u2019re here all day.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI got other things to do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Like what?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She almost asked, but didn\u2019t have the energy for the argument that would ensue.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBossy needs milkin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBossy\u2019s milked out,\u201d she said wearily. \u201cHas been for a month.\u201d Which he would\u2019ve known if he\u2019d gotten out of bed to milk her in the mornings, but because he hadn\u2019t, she had no milk left. Either he didn\u2019t get that or didn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJustice!\u201d he barked, startling her again. \u201cYou got your goddamned college degree. Put away that law school bullshit and get back to work here! This is our <em>business<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>More <em>her<\/em> business than his, since she did the majority of the work and paid the majority of its bills. She had to get this farm profitable before she graduated because she would only qualify for grants and scholarships as long as she was a student.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou <em>do<\/em> understand I can make more money as a lawyer than I can as a farmer, right?\u201d she asked, collecting fixings for a sandwich.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFat lotta good that\u2019ll do when we\u2019re starving by the time you get a job.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice slid a glance at his slight paunch. He\u2019d never starved a day in his life\u2014no thanks to his own efforts\u2014and she had no intention of allowing herself to starve, but she was almost out of beef and she didn\u2019t have any animals worth butchering. She\u2019d have to go hunting this winter. Again. She was ambivalent about the chore itself, but she resented having to do it, because she <em>wouldn\u2019t<\/em> have to do it if her father pulled his weight.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou got beer, don\u2019tcha?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t you talk to me like that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She didn\u2019t bother to ask <em>Or what?<\/em> because there was no <em>or what<\/em>. There was only Justice going out to take care of the farm, then studying \u2019til midnight, then getting up in the morning to do more farm chores before heading off to school.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou also have a rifle and ammunition, and you know how to dress out a deer. One weekend\u2019s work, and we have meat all winter.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou ain\u2019t givin\u2019 <em>me<\/em> orders, little girl,\u201d he snarled before storming away.<\/p>\n<p>Not for the first time, Justice wished she had siblings. Several. If she ever had a family, she\u2019d have lots of children so none of them would be lonely or doing all the work.<\/p>\n<p>Munching on her sandwich, she trudged through the wheat to the pasture beyond to let the cattle into the grain. That done, she headed to the barn and stopped at the old boombox, beside which was a box filled with cassette tapes her mother had stashed in the attic before she died.<\/p>\n<p>In those boxes, Justice had found the music of her memories of her mother: Earth Wind &amp; Fire, Abba, Doobie Brothers, Steely Dan, Alan Parsons. And the music of her heart: Rush. U2. Led Zeppelin. Boston. Pink Floyd. Heart.<\/p>\n<p>Bossy, if she had any milk left, would only cooperate if Justice\u2019s mother\u2019s favorite music was playing.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat do you want to listen to this evening, Bossy?\u201d Justice asked vaguely as she clicked through the plastic cases. She was greeted with a snort and a huff. \u201cBitch,\u201d Justice muttered. She and Bossy didn\u2019t get along very well.<\/p>\n<p>She picked one, pressed play, and heard Bette Midler\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n<div class=\"lr8\">\n<div class=\"italic\">\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">\u201cSome say love&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice hid in the endless shadows, listening to her mother sing while she milked cow number two. If her mother knew she was there, she would be embarrassed and stop singing, and Justice did so love to hear her sing.<\/p>\n<p>This song was new. \u201c&#160;\u2026&#160;love is only for the lucky and the strong&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d Justice twirled a lock of hair around a finger at those words, feeling sadness and despair flowing out of her mother, but where had it come from? Her mother was never sad. Always light, always smiling, Libby McKinley was the prettiest, most wonderful mother in the world.<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly she stopped singing and muttered, \u201cWhere is that girl? It\u2019s gone five.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHere, Mama,\u201d Justice said, stepping into the barn proper as though she had just come from the house. \u201cI\u2019m sorry I\u2019m late.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A quick, warm smile lit her face. \u201cGood morning, Iustitia. Will you change the radio, please?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her mother didn\u2019t want a different station. She wanted whatever was in the tape player, which happened to be Hall &amp; Oates.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThank you, Baby. Cows three and four need to be milked yet.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Libby didn\u2019t name any animal that provided food, money, or clothes. The dogs had names because Justice\u2019s father insisted, but the barn cats didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>A week after Justice had heard her mother singing sad songs in the barn, she was almost asleep when she felt the familiar depression next to her. Her mother snuggled up to Justice and it seemed to her that her mother had been sleeping with her a lot more lately.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIustitia,\u201d she whispered, her body warm and soft against her, \u201cyou have no idea how badly I want you off this farm.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>What? Justice loved the farm, the work, the chores, the animals. Her mother didn\u2019t know she thought of some of them as pets. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBecause this is not the place for you, mindless, endless chores. You\u2019ll be old before your time. But I don\u2019t know how&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t want you to get stuck like me. Do you know how old I am?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUm&#160;\u2026 twenty-five.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes. Do you know how old your father is?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cForty-three.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re nine. Do the math. How old was I when you were born?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It took Justice a few minutes because she wasn\u2019t sure of the answer. \u201cSixteen?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes. I don\u2019t want that for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sixteen was old enough to drive a car and get a job, so Justice didn\u2019t see the problem.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf you get pregnant like I did, you\u2019ll spend your life like this, and there\u2019s only one sure-fire way to keep from getting pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Yes, Justice knew. She heard it endlessly.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI want you to get out. Find a way to get out. I wish I could help you, but I can\u2019t. Promise me you\u2019ll try. You\u2019re a smart girl. You could think of a way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her urgency made Justice nervous. Something bad was happening.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat is it, Mama? What\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI just\u2014 I don\u2019t feel well. I need you to promise me you won\u2019t be stupid like I was and let a man sucker you. That\u2019s a trap and I got caught. You don\u2019t belong here. I don\u2019t belong here. If I had listened to Daddy, I might not\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The most horrible thing occurred to Justice and she spoke before she thought. \u201cDo you wish I hadn\u2019t been born?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo!\u201d Libby breathed. \u201cNo. You were the best thing that\u2019s ever happened to me. I love you so much.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice realized too late there was no good answer to that question. \u201cI love you, too, Mama.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Libby had never looked as pretty as she did lying in her casket two years later. The doctors said she had a heart attack, but Justice didn\u2019t believe that. Twenty-seven-year-old mothers didn\u2019t have heart attacks!<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThey do if they were born with a heart problem, can\u2019t afford medical care, work as a farm hand eighteen hours a day seven days a week, and have to dodge a lazy husband old enough to be her father,\u201d the exhausted emergency room doctor retorted when she had screamed that he was a liar.<\/p>\n<p>She stood in front of the casket with tears rolling down her cheeks, looking down at her sleeping mother. An old man she had never met came to stand beside her. Justice didn\u2019t care enough to move, but after a while, he spoke.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHello, Iustitia.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She gasped and stepped away from him so fast she tripped over her feet. Only her parents knew her real name and her father insisted she be called Justice because Iustitia was too hoity-toity.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWho are you?\u201d she squeaked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYour grandfather. Libertas\u2019s\u2014er, your mother\u2019s father.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, but you will. Perhaps I can give you something to make up for what you and your mother really needed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He seemed harmless, so she allowed him to steer her away from the casket and into the shadows. They sat together in a corner where she listened to what he had to say, absorbing the things he said, understanding more of what her mother had tried to warn her about.<\/p>\n<p>It took a while for her father to notice, but when he did, he made a scene, yelling and screaming about what her grandfather had done to him, and he better stay away from him and Justice or else.<\/p>\n<p>But Justice found comfort in her grandfather\u2019s presence, in his faith that she could do what her mother had asked her to do despite the fact that she didn\u2019t go to school. Her mother had taught her to read and do basic arithmetic, but that was as far as her father allowed her to go. Her grandfather was appalled, so she did chores in the barn until he arrived in the early evenings to teach her: Math and English. Social studies, geography, history, economics. Logic, critical thinking, and research. The barn became Justice\u2019s classroom and her grandfather her professor.<\/p>\n<p>Then he, too, died and left her with no one but her father, who didn\u2019t know what she did when he wasn\u2019t looking and didn\u2019t care as long as she wasn\u2019t \u201cmessing around with books, because books don\u2019t do nothin\u2019 but put ideas in your head. This is your home and you\u2019re going to stay here and take care of me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut I\u2019m starting college in the fall,\u201d she whispered as he walked away, seeing all her mother\u2019s and grandfather\u2019s hopes burn off like an early morning fog in ten o\u2019clock sunshine.\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"top60\">&nbsp;<\/div>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s enough of you,\u201d Justice muttered as she finished milking the old cow. She was shocked she got a full pail of milk, but now she\u2019d have to churn\u2014<\/p>\n<p>She dropped her face in her palm when Bossy kicked it. She hadn\u2019t given milk in a month and the first time she did because Libby\u2019s favorite song was playing, she kicked it as soon as the song was over.<\/p>\n<p>That was her life, right there, in the dirt where fresh milk she\u2019d struggled so hard to earn soaked in before she got a taste.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll right, Bossy,\u201d Justice said heavily as she arose, put the stool and pail away, unclipped the cow from her stall. \u201cI\u2019ll let you out in the field tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bette Midler was singing Bossy out the door, but the cow only cared about that one song. Justice had to push the eject button on the tape deck several times before it would open, and her already bad mood worsened each time it refused. She had very little patience with it, but it was one of few precious links to her mother.<\/p>\n<p>Years ago, with her mother\u2019s hopes and grandfather\u2019s admonitions ringing in her ears, Justice worked out a simple plan and, with some trepidation, informed her father of it: One\u2014 Work the farm, get a bachelor\u2019s degree. Two\u2014 Work the farm, get a law degree. Three\u2014 Get a job, work the farm.<\/p>\n<p>He refused and told her he would do everything he could to sabotage her. In utter frustration and rage, she\u2019d screamed, \u201c<em>I want air conditioning!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Those turned out to be the magic words.<\/p>\n<p>As long as the farm came first and she promised to put AC in the house when she got a job, he\u2019d decided to be satisfied with taking potshots at her and taunting her with her imminent failure.<\/p>\n<p>From the moment her grandfather told her to become a prosecutor, she\u2019d been looking forward to a steady paycheck, health insurance, and air conditioning. But in order to do that <em>and<\/em> work the farm, she only had three counties to choose from: Chouteau, Buchanan, and Clinton. The Clay and Jackson County seats were too far to drive every day. She had always figured this into her plan, with no knowledge of the Chouteau County prosecutor until that day two months ago when he had defended her, validated her, touched her.<\/p>\n<p>Buchanan and Clinton were no longer options because <em>he<\/em> didn\u2019t work there. If he wouldn\u2019t hire her, she\u2019d get a public defender position just to have regular contact with him.<\/p>\n<p><em>I daresay none of you has thought that deeply about what you want and why you want it.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She swept her fingertips across her chin where Dr. Hilliard had touched her so gently, smiling dreamily as she went back to the house to get another Red Bull and sandwich, then headed to her room to check the blogs she frequented. She wasn\u2019t a regular commenter. She preferred to lurk, keeping her head down and her politics to herself\u2014although that hadn\u2019t gone very well her third day of law school, wearing them on her sleeve for all to laugh at.<\/p>\n<p>She checked the mail on the table by the staircase and was instantly delighted when she saw the latest <em>National Review<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh!\u201d She flipped through the pages to find the article she had written and submitted because a well-respected man who didn\u2019t know her had found value in her opinions.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d never expected it to be published.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d never expected to be paid.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d never expected to be asked to write more.<\/p>\n<p>With a wistful smile, she looked up and out the window at the cattle. There was Bossy, chowing down. She pulled out her phone and hit speed dial.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah, hey, it\u2019s Justice. Can you send a truck out here tomorrow for a cow?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her email chimed, but she ignored it while she made arrangements to put Bossy in the deep freeze. Then she hung up and read her email.<\/p>\n<div class=\"tb30\">\n<div class=\"lr12\">\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">Subject: Come aboard!<\/span><br \/>\nReply-to: hhew@townsquared.org<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\">Justice,<br \/>\nWe\u2019ve been following your comments for a while and we just read your piece in the National Review. We think you have a lot of potential as a columnist and we\u2019d like you to become a permanent contributor. Let us know!<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\">Cheers,<br \/>\nThe TownSquared Crew<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>She gasped. Giggled. Squealed. TownSquared was the biggest conservative blog on the internet and they wanted <em>her<\/em> to write for <em>them<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p><em>Very good, Justice.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She went to bed that night with her copy of Fawn Ogwin vs. Knox Hilliard and University of Missouri System under her pillow, whipping up scenarios of how it might be with Dr. Hilliard in her life, in love, in bed.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">6: HOT, LOOSE &amp; CLEAN<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptdate\">April 2005<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">GISELLE PLOPPED HER backpack on a remote corner of her desk, careful not to dislodge piles of papers and microcassette tapes. She sighed, wishing people would respect her clearly marked <span class=\"calb\">IN<\/span> box and stop cluttering up her space.<\/p>\n<p>She hated clutter.<\/p>\n<p>After collecting a bottle of water from the fridge, she put her night\u2019s work in order and checked the server for dictation. It looked to be a light night. If she finished early, she could go home and sleep.<\/p>\n<p>At four p.m., she put the buds in her ears and started typing. Briefs, pleadings, letters, contracts\u2014she could do them all from memory. One day, not soon enough, she would be the one dictating and not the one transcribing. She couldn\u2019t wait to get the hell out of this cubicle, which she resented all the more after having watched her life\u2019s work burn to the ground.<\/p>\n<p><em>Thanks a bunch, Uncle Fen.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>He hadn\u2019t torched her bookstore. He\u2019d torched her soul, and he <em>still<\/em> hadn\u2019t apologized or made restitution, since, as she had argued numerous times, his failure to actually kill her obliged him to pay for damages.<\/p>\n<p><em>It\u2019s not my fault the losers you find in questionable locations can\u2019t get the job done.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Since it was still a half hour before the end of the regular workday, the office was bustling with admins, paralegals, and lawyers going this way and that. Giselle sat off the beaten path, but that didn\u2019t stop many attorneys and admins from making pointed detours to her desk to drop off work or, every so often, ask her out.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d typed for three or four hours in the peace of an empty, silent, and well-lit office building before she caught sight of a particularly persistent attorney heading her way.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Shit<\/em>,\u201d she breathed, irritated. She had politely declined his numerous invitations, but that didn\u2019t stop him from pursuing her anyway and making himself a general pain in her ass.<\/p>\n<p>Ralph (who insisted everyone pronounce it \u201cRafe\u201d) propped his hip on her desk and waited for her to acknowledge him. Although she would like to ignore him, she couldn\u2019t. If the attorneys wanted to monopolize her time with chitchat, they could, although it threw her off her self-imposed schedule. It was now eight o\u2019clock. She wanted to leave by eleven.<\/p>\n<p>She pulled her earbuds out and asked politely, \u201cWhat can I do for you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGo to the Ford exhibit at the Kemper Gallery with me on Saturday?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She shook her head. \u201cStudy groups.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFord\u2019s an artist. Have you ever <em>seen<\/em> his art?\u201d he asked slyly.<\/p>\n<p>If he only knew. \u201cYou <em>know<\/em> I\u2019m trying to get through law school, but even if I weren\u2019t, which I have explained to you before, I don\u2019t date outside my faith.\u201d That was her standard lie.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRight. How could I forget all about you nice little Mormon girls?\u201d It was nothing she hadn\u2019t heard before, with the same contempt, and from more interesting men than Ralph, but she\u2019d declined so many times he was starting to get pissy about it. \u201cI think that\u2019s just a bullshit excuse.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh? Are you assuming I use it as an excuse for everyone or just you<em>?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His face hardened a little. She knew men\u2019s moods, so she didn\u2019t miss the change in his demeanor. Ralph had always seemed relatively harmless, but now her annoyance turned to wariness.<\/p>\n<p>She needed to find a way to get him off her back for good, sooner rather than later, because she didn\u2019t want to have to whip out her nine-millimeter restraining order. She kept her face carefully blank until\u2014<\/p>\n<p>He leaned into her personal space and murmured, \u201cI could make things very difficult for you here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She gaped at him a few seconds before she burst out laughing. \u201cIs that the best you can do?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ralph drew back, shocked. That turned into embarrassment, which was usually where men decided to throw their weight around. His lips thinned and he struggled to come up with a reply.<\/p>\n<p>Giselle couldn\u2019t stop laughing. Here she was, expecting\u2014 \u201cAre you always this disappointing? If you have work for me, please drop it in my box and I\u2019ll have it to your admin by morning.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His nostrils flared at having been so brutally dismissed. \u201cDon\u2019t cross me,\u201d he growled.<\/p>\n<p>Here it was. \u201c<em>Ralph<\/em>,\u201d she said slowly, pronouncing the \u201clph\u201d sound with great precision. Rising from her chair, she closed the gap between them until they were mere inches apart. \u201cI am not going to <em>fuck<\/em> you.\u201d Her husky whisper made his breath catch. \u201cNot today. Not tomorrow. Not in a <em>thousand<\/em> lifetimes. Threaten me. Try to intimidate me. Go to Hale and make up some story you think will get me fired. Maybe it will. I don\u2019t care, because I\u2019m not going to put up with <em>nice guys<\/em>,\u201d she sneered, \u201clike you. And I promise you do not want to catch me in a dark alley late one night.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She rocked back on her heel and crossed her arms over her chest, one eyebrow raised.<\/p>\n<p>He attempted to salvage his ego. \u201cI\u2019m going to make you regret this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRalph.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle and Ralph both jumped at the deep, hoarse, cold voice that came out of nowhere.<\/p>\n<p>Then she saw&#160;\u2026 him&#160;\u2026 and she forgot how to breathe.<\/p>\n<p>Occasionally, Giselle\u2019s eye was caught by a man so captivating her chest ached with desire. It wasn\u2019t simple lust. It was a craving for the whole package, and she was far more susceptible to a man\u2019s <em>presence<\/em>, his charisma, than she was his looks. She would want him to notice her and pursue her, but he never would, and she never made herself known because she didn\u2019t want to be rejected or, worse, ridiculed.<\/p>\n<p>The man in front of her was one of those men, and she had never seen an uglier, more disfigured person in her life.<\/p>\n<p>Severe burn scars matted the left half of his face and disappeared down into his snow-white collar. He was tall, with broad, strong shoulders and lean torso in perfectly tailored olive silk-and-wool blend set off with a red tie. He had vivid green eyes and short black hair. He had a light tan that made pinpointing his ethnicity impossible. He smelled divine. His left hand was just as scarred as his face, but he wasn\u2019t wearing a wedding ring.<\/p>\n<p>He was as exotic as he was disfigured.<\/p>\n<p>He was also pissed off.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey, bud!\u201d Ralph said with nervous cheer. Giselle looked over her shoulder to see her coworker\u2019s now-pale face.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen you\u2019re feeling froggy,\u201d the man rumbled, \u201cyou just go ahead and jump.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAw, man, you know.\u201d He forced a laugh. \u201cIt\u2019s just a little running gag we have. Right, Giselle?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She scrunched her face in disbelief. \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPack up your desk.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re not my boss,\u201d Ralph crabbed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, but I don\u2019t think he\u2019ll mind that I\u2019ve invited you to hand in your resignation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle took the opportunity to stare at the stranger shamelessly, wondering what lay beneath all that finely tailored silk, wool, and cotton&#160;\u2026 Wondering how long she\u2019d remain a \u201cgood little Mormon girl\u201d if <em>that<\/em> man had the good sense to ask her out, because she was about to brave her shyness.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYour office better be cleaned out when I leave here tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ralph tried again, as any decent lawyer should. \u201cYou can\u2019t prove anything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The man crossed his massive arms over his broad chest and drawled, \u201cDoes it matter?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle almost melted and she was sure the stars in her eyes could be seen from space.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThanks, Giselle,\u201d Ralph snarled as he stalked away.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnytime!\u201d she trilled over her shoulder, then looked back at her rescuer. \u201cThank you!\u201d she said in her brightest voice with her most charming smile. She stared at him wide-eyed, wanting\u2014<em>begging<\/em>\u2014him to invite her to&#160;\u2026 something. Dinner, maybe. Ballet, theater, symphony, opera\u2014any one of them would do. She would <em>love<\/em> to dress up for this man. \u201cI was afraid I\u2019d have to take him out to the woodshed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re welcome,\u201d he replied tersely without laughing at her dumb joke. He turned to go.<\/p>\n<p><em>Damn!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, wait,\u201d she said, scurrying after him. She couldn\u2019t bear to let another one of <em>those<\/em> men go and she needed to stall him long enough to figure out how to keep his attention now that she had it. But her flirting lacked finesse because she was too direct, too open, too&#160;\u2026 unpracticed. She offered her hand and announced, \u201cGiselle Cox.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He glanced down at her hand. \u201cMs Cox,\u201d he murmured, looking her up and down with a slight sneer. Then he walked away.<\/p>\n<p>She felt like she\u2019d caught a fist in her breastbone, and she could only stare after him, stunned, speechless, about to cry.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, so I guess I did something to deserve that?\u201d she demanded.<\/p>\n<p>He stopped short.<\/p>\n<p>Turning halfway, he pinned her with those eyes, his expression stony. \u201cI\u2019m sure,\u201d he replied, his tone measured and precise, \u201cthat you think you\u2019re entirely blameless.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her jaw clenched and her nostrils flared. Oh, no. No. Men did not talk to her like that. The stars in her eyes were long gone.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFuck you!\u201d she snarled. \u201cYou don\u2019t know me from Eve.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His eyebrow rose. \u201cNo, I don\u2019t,\u201d he returned calmly. \u201c<em>Lilith<\/em>, though&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>With that, he went on his way, leaving her dumbfounded, nauseated, and sick at heart.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">7: RUSTY ARMOR<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">WHAT THE <em>HELL<\/em> had made him say that?<\/p>\n<p>Shock.<\/p>\n<p>Shock at seeing her, of actually meeting her. Here. In his own lawyer\u2019s office. Working as a second-shift transcriptionist.<\/p>\n<p>It hadn\u2019t occurred to him that Knox\u2019s lover might have to work for a living. Knox always took care of his women well; he could afford to with all the untraceable money that ran through his office. Certainly, Leah had had the best of everything and only worked because her vocation as a dietitian had been a source of joy to her.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce fought the urge to walk backward just so he could stare at her longer. Her rich golden-red hair\u2014<em>why<\/em> had he thought it dull blonde?\u2014was in a ponytail bound with a pert yellow ribbon and dripping large, loose corkscrews to her nape. She was wearing faded Levi\u2019s, white tee shirt, flamboyant green, purple, and yellow vest that looked like a refugee from a Mardi Gras rag bag, and moccasins.<\/p>\n<p>If only he didn\u2019t know that she wore a gun under cocktail dresses at funerals.<\/p>\n<p>If only he hadn\u2019t heard her say <em>I am not going to fuck you<\/em> with the bored amusement of a woman who knew what to do with a man who wouldn\u2019t back off.<\/p>\n<p>If only she hadn\u2019t turned on the charm and looked at Bryce like <em>that<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>He groaned softly.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce knew when a woman found him physically attractive, but it hadn\u2019t happened since his fire. He\u2019d been intimidating before his fire, with his big body and dark summer tan, but it had always been tempered by his looks. With his body intact but his beauty long gone, he was terrifying. More than one woman who\u2019d found his wallet intriguing had spoken to his necktie in an effort to avoid looking at his face, sometimes with barely hidden disgust, and most children scrambled to stay away from him, whispering <em>monster<\/em> to their mothers.<\/p>\n<p>He was used to scaring people, to having to work for their trust, to walking into a courtroom knowing he\u2019d have to charm people into forgetting what his face looked like, to get them to hear the care and concern in his shredded voice.<\/p>\n<p>Giselle Cox, a woman who\u2019d tormented him for the last six months, a woman he\u2019d never expected to meet, a woman he couldn\u2019t begin to hope would find him attractive&#160;\u2026 did.<\/p>\n<p>Or did she?<\/p>\n<p>Was he imagining things?<\/p>\n<p>Wishful thinking?<\/p>\n<p>No. She couldn\u2019t be faking it. She was too earnest. Too clumsy. Too obvious about what she wanted from him and it wasn\u2019t his money.<\/p>\n<p>Or was it an act?<\/p>\n<p>That was very possible. Looking into his face without flinching wasn\u2019t evidence of anything. Kind and very well-socialized people could do that.<\/p>\n<p>But what if&#160;\u2026&#160;?<\/p>\n<p><em>What if<\/em>&#160;\u2026&#160;?<\/p>\n<p>Inhale. He held it, then exhaled in a whoosh.<\/p>\n<p>All the way through the meeting with his attorney he felt distracted, scattered.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBryce? You with me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He shook his head to clear it. \u201cYour typist out there\u2014the redhead\u2014?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiselle?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was all wrong, the way Ralph and Geoff pronounced her name, <em>ja-ZELL<\/em>. \u201cI&#160;\u2026 think so?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat about her?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYour idiot attorney Ralph \u2018Call Me Rafe\u2019 was hitting on her as I was walking in. Threatened her if she didn\u2019t go out with him, not sure if it was her job or more than that. He was a little too pushy for my comfort, so I suggested he have his office cleaned out by the time I left. I hope you don\u2019t mind me stepping into your business like that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Geoff blinked. \u201cUh&#160;\u2026 Oh. Good. Thank you. He was a problem child anyway. Have him on a PIP.\u201d He turned to his computer for a moment and as he typed, he asked, \u201cHow\u2019d she handle it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>What to say, what to say. \u201cAh, she seemed to have everything under control, but I wasn\u2019t going to stand there and watch.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat tracks. Good thing it was her instead of anybody else.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Good<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe\u2019s quiet. Keeps to herself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s always the quiet ones,\u201d Bryce said with just the right amount of disinterested amusement, but now he was wildly curious.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYep. But when somebody gets in her face, she takes no prisoners.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Fuck you<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s heart raced. He would\u2019ve fired anyone who said that to a client, but he had no intention of relaying that conversation. \u201cYou tolerate that from an admin?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ll damn sure tolerate it from any woman who can take care of herself and isn\u2019t quietly putting up with it until she quits, or runs to HR for every slip of the tongue.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That was not a bad point.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBrilliant woman,\u201d he went on. \u201cWorking her way through law school on the five-year program and this is easy money with benefits. She\u2019s interning for me this summer.\u201d Bryce hid his shock. \u201cI cannot <em>wait<\/em> to throw her in a courtroom. Enough ego and charm to pull anything off and the brains and balls to back it up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Fuck you<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Now Bryce was wondering if Hale wouldn\u2019t find it funny.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs she married?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Hale started to laugh. \u201cI forgot to mention she\u2019s attractive,\u201d he drawled smugly, \u201cbut I see you noticed that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce kept his expression carefully blank. \u201cI\u2019ll take that as a no.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He shrugged. \u201cDon\u2019t know, but I can put a bug in her ear if you\u2019re interested.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNot on the market, thanks,\u201d Bryce murmured, frustrated with himself for going too far. Hale was no fool, but he said no more about Lilith, and for that, Bryce was grateful.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, by the way,\u201d Hale said as he walked Bryce down to the lobby once their annual meeting had ended, \u201ccondolences on your client. Leah Wincott?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah,\u201d he muttered. \u201cVery nice lady.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI wish I could believe Knox killed her,\u201d Hale said, \u201cbut he\u2019s got too much to lose. Fen\u2019s the most likely suspect, but nobody\u2019d believe it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAgreed,\u201d Bryce said, then started. \u201cHey, isn\u2019t Fen your client?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, noooo. Nope. I haven\u2019t met a Hilliard yet that I liked and that includes Knox\u2019s father. My wife\u2019s been bitching about Trudy for years, then Fen and I had a couple of meetings before I decided I didn\u2019t want to do business with him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t know. He\u2019s honest. Smart. He\u2019s good to the community, good to his employees. There\u2019s just&#160;\u2026 something&#160;\u2026 <em>off<\/em>. I\u2019d trust Knox before I\u2019d trust Fen because you know exactly what you\u2019re getting. And that proviso? Taight? That whole situation\u2019s a nasty tangle.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>And your brilliant budding litigator is intimately mixed up in it.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Bryce kept what he knew to himself because mentioning Ms Cox\u2019s relationship with Knox <em>would<\/em> get her fired. He didn\u2019t generally volunteer information at all, but that was three times now he\u2019d felt the need to protect her. Why?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m going home,\u201d Hale said on a yawn. \u201cWhat time is it anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce looked at his watch. \u201cLittle after midnight. Geez, Geoff, I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He waved a hand. \u201cNo need. It\u2019ll be in your statement.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>On his way to the elevator, Bryce couldn\u2019t help but cast a look toward Lilith\u2019s tidy, empty cube. Disappointment settled in his chest, but he only sighed and headed to the parking garage\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u2014then stopped cold when he emerged from the stairwell to see the occupant of the only other car in the lot besides his.<\/p>\n<p>She couldn\u2019t see him from where she sat in an older-model generic Chevy sedan. The windows were down, and from the way her head tilted back against the seat rest, she might be dozing or she might be hurt.<\/p>\n<p>On impulse, he walked across the lot, noting how the April breeze teased her ponytail and the ends of the ribbon. She was asleep, a thick textbook open and lying face-down on her chest. Her head lolled to the right, exposing the underside of her jaw and throat.<\/p>\n<p>He imagined all the things he wanted to do to that throat; replayed that night six months ago with her skirt pulled up enough for him to see the top of her black stocking; craved the rest of her body, naked, underneath his.<\/p>\n<p>But right now he needed to find out if she was faking her attraction.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce squatted down beside the car and watched her for a few more seconds. \u201cMs Cox,\u201d he said, then found himself with the barrel of <em>that<\/em> gun bored right in the middle of his forehead.<\/p>\n<p>She immediately flipped it up and away from him once recognition dawned, but her face still held that tense, wild look of someone startled out of her wits.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI am so sorry,\u201d she murmured, her delicate voice husky with sleep. She yawned, rubbed her eyes, stowed her gun in the glove compartment, put the textbook in the backpack next to her, then stretched as far as she could within the confines of her car. Her nipples hardened in the cool night air, through her thin white tee shirt and the nearly nothing bra underneath it.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d never wanted a woman so badly in his life.<\/p>\n<p>She came down from her stretch with a hard glint in her eyes, an ice blue that could sear a man in half. He had the oddest feeling that he\u2019d seen those eyes somewhere before.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat do you want.\u201d Clipped, hostile. Not a question.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI wanted to tell you how foolish it is to sleep in an empty Plaza parking garage in the middle of the night with your windows rolled down, but I see it\u2019s occurred to you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah, I <em>totally<\/em> meant to fall asleep here,\u201d she sneered. \u201cAnything else?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She was thrumming with rage and contempt. He wasn\u2019t imagining that, but now there was no way he could figure out if she had been putting on a show. He wasn\u2019t be surprised. He\u2019d burned that bridge and scattered the ashes.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cActually, yes,\u201d he said, shocking himself. \u201cWould you like a late dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She blinked. \u201c\u2019Scuse me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d boxed himself in well. \u201cDinner. Breakfast. Whatever.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, I don\u2019t think so,\u201d she snarled. She started the car.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI got Ralph off your back.\u201d Lame. True, but lame.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLame!\u201d she snapped. \u201cI don\u2019t know who you are or who you think you are, but I assure you: You have never met a woman like me, and you never will again.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So saying, she reached over and grabbed the knot of his tie to jerk him to her. Surprised, he didn\u2019t fight, but when her lips touched his and her tongue swept his mouth, he took over immediately, wrapping his hand around the back of her head and crushing her to him.<\/p>\n<p>He directed it.<\/p>\n<p>He deepened it.<\/p>\n<p>He lengthened it.<\/p>\n<p>He opened his eyes to watch her. Her face was a study in desire, her eyes closed, her breath ragged, her tongue matching his stroke for stroke, shift for shift. She sighed into his mouth and released his tie to caress his neck, the scars there, her thumb stroking his jaw line while their tongues mated.<\/p>\n<p>She was <em>definitely<\/em> not faking it.<\/p>\n<p>Which made him harder.<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly she gasped and her eyes popped open, staring at him as if she\u2019d lost herself somewhere inside him. She had. He\u2019d taken her power away from her and she didn\u2019t know how to take it back.<\/p>\n<p>She jerked away from him, her breathing heavy and her eyes wide. \u201cYou\u2014\u201d She stopped. Swallowed. \u201cI\u2014\u201d Bit her lip. Fumbled for the gear shift.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce stood then cupped his hand tightly under her chin. He tilted her head up, forcing her to look at him, an odd mix of panic and passion in her expression.<\/p>\n<p><em>Now<\/em> what was he supposed to do?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBe careful what you wish for, Ms Cox,\u201d he purred with a victorious smile. \u201cYou might get it.\u201d Then he released her and strode toward his own car without looking back, wondering what she\u2019d make of <em>that<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">8: ENERGIZER RABBIT<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptdate\">August 2005<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">\u201cAH, SUNDAY AGAIN,\u201d Sebastian intoned when Giselle opened her bedroom door. He was on the couch watching <em>War Games<\/em>, an Old Fashioned glass in his hand. \u201cWhy do you bother going to church? You\u2019re not the most sterling example of Mormon womanhood ever.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Technically<\/em>, I am,\u201d she protested as she went into the kitchen to scrounge for lunch before leaving.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWith your mouth? And your body count?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Once she\u2019d collected her snack, she joined her cousin-slash-housemate-slash-landlord-slash-mother-slash-partner in crime in the living room, and he put the movie on pause. He wanted to&#160;\u2026 <em>talk?<\/em> He was drinking Scotch, so he must have as much on his mind as she had on hers.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMy vocabulary and the souls I have shuffled off this mortal coil wouldn\u2019t keep me from being able to go to the temple<sup class='footnote' id='fnref-1353-1'><a href='#fn-1353-1' rel='footnote'>1<\/a><\/sup> if I wanted to.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKilling a man in cold blood would get you that excommunication you\u2019ve been bucking for for the last couple of years.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI thought that\u2019s what you wanted me to do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019d settle for quadriplegia so you won\u2019t go to hell.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow magnanimous of you. I <em>threatened<\/em> him. Doesn\u2019t count.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHave you ever made a threat you haven\u2019t carried out?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, look. Say I go to my bishop and say, \u2018Ready to go to the temple\u2019 and he whips out the list of questions. I can answer every single one honestly. I pay my tithing. I don\u2019t drink, don\u2019t smoke, don\u2019t do drugs. I\u2019m honest, I believe in the atonement of Christ\u2014\u201d Sebastian rolled his eyes. \u201c\u2014I pay all my child support and don\u2019t batter my spouse\u2014\u201d He laughed. \u201c\u2014I uphold the priesthood and the prophet of God. I\u2019m thirty-five and still a virgin. Guess what? Instant temple recommend.<sup class='footnote' id='fnref-1353-2'><a href='#fn-1353-2' rel='footnote'>2<\/a><\/sup> And there I go to the temple and demonstrate my obedience to the Lord\u2019s commandments. Except for the husband and kids part, but I can\u2019t do anything about that. Mom would be happy. She thinks it\u2019ll keep me out of trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf you do that, you\u2019ll have to trade in your Victoria\u2019s Secret for magic underwear. Bye bye Daisy Dukes, hello board shorts.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle glared at him. \u201cCut it out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd you forgot that general and all-encompassing \u2018unresolved issues\u2019 question.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI have no unresolved issues. Just because I\u2019m not leadership material doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t qualify as a good Mormon girl. And what do you mean, bucking for an excommunication?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou know exactly what I mean. Your opinions\u2019ll get you in trouble faster than murdering Fen will.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That wasn\u2019t true, but he\u2019d made his point. Giselle had always been different. She knew it, everybody at church knew it. She garnered respect and friendly acquaintances across various social strata in her ward, but everyone knew she\u2019d eventually say or do something scandalous because she managed to do it with amazing regularity\u2014usually without meaning to.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t spout false doctrine and I don\u2019t foment apostasy. Not conforming to <em>tradition<\/em> and <em>culture<\/em> and <em>unwritten rules<\/em> might irritate people but it doesn\u2019t get you ex\u2019d. Neither does having unpopular politics. Besides, my bishop thinks I\u2019m very entertaining.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian grunted. \u201cYour real problem is you\u2019re as attracted to the profane as you are the sacred. You can\u2019t bring yourself to pick one and stick with it, so you straddle the fence between them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That fence had a lot of splinters, too.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAs far as I can see, there\u2019s no reward in sticking with the church\u2019s idea of sacred, and I want to know something else. Would you tell your bishop why all the double-A batteries in this house disappear so fast?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She flushed.<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian smirked. \u201cSo <em>technically<\/em>, you aren\u2019t following all the official rules. He\u2019d laugh you out of his office with a \u2018Stop doing that and come back to see me again in six months.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThree,\u201d she muttered.<\/p>\n<p>He burst out laughing. \u201cStandards are slipping, I see. Speaking of that, buy your own batteries or get yourself off the old-fashioned way \u2019cause I\u2019m not supporting your habit anymore. And oh, let\u2019s not forget your pi\u00e8ce de r\u00e9sistance. Would you tell him about <em>that<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Something had changed inside Giselle once she\u2019d turned that corner into territory almost no one at church would understand: She had killed and she felt absolutely no remorse.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo,\u201d she admitted. \u201cSelf-defense is fine, but he\u2019s no dummy. He\u2019d ask me if I had anything to do with Knox\u2019s faux pas and then I\u2019d have to lie to him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFaux pas.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat am I going to say? \u2018He needed killin\u2019\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think your exact words were \u2018He needed to die.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She sniffed. \u201cNo remorse, nothing to resolve.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiz,\u201d he said with some exasperation, \u201cdo you really plan on going to the temple?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She hesitated. \u201cI don\u2019t want to go alone,<sup class='footnote' id='fnref-1353-3'><a href='#fn-1353-3' rel='footnote'>3<\/a><\/sup> no. I\u2019ve been hoping to meet a member&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian snorted. \u201cYou aren\u2019t going to find Hank Rearden at church.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Hank Rearden, the protagonist of a political fable by a fringe political philosopher, his name mere shorthand for a characteristic that defied description.<\/p>\n<p><em>Patheticpatheticpathetic.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cPoint taken. But I\u2019m not cluttering up my life with a string of almosts and maybes and potentials, and I\u2019m not cut out for random fucking. If I can\u2019t have exactly what I want, I\u2019ll go without.\u201d She paused when she caught his look and slid down into the upholstery. \u201cMostly,\u201d she grumbled.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf your collection of erotica is anything to go by, you don\u2019t know what the hell you want. Some of that shit\u2019s not so fun and the rest of it\u2019s not worth the trouble. And I highly doubt your bishop knows what you read.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She was too old and too honest with herself to say that she was still <em>technically<\/em> a virgin because it was what she\u2019d been taught all her life: No sex before marriage. Don\u2019t put oneself in temptation\u2019s way. Avoid the appearance of evil. Marriage to a worthy member of the priesthood in the temple, where the words \u201c\u2019til death do you part\u201d were not part of the ceremony. Marriage was for <em>eternity<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d prepared, been obedient, but her childbearing years were fading fast, while her libido ramped up on her way from thirty-five to forty, and for her, the pool of desirable Mormon men had dried up ten years ago. She personally knew seven other never-married women her age much prettier than she was, and unless she ran into some smart, educated, divorced man or widower (probably looking for a mother for his kids) who was truthful about his life, who might not be thoroughly disgusted by what she\u2019d ask for in bed, she was shit out of luck.<\/p>\n<p>And now here she was, about to begin her fourth year of law school, still in last-ditch-effort-to-salvage-something-of-her-life mode.<\/p>\n<p>Her life really sucked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re not going to find Rearden <em>outside<\/em> the church, either. Let me fix you up with somebody. I know half a dozen CEOs who\u2019d love a woman like you. They\u2019d respect you, treat you well. So they aren\u2019t members of the church, but they\u2019re good men. If you want to get married and have kids before your eggs dry up, you\u2019re going to have to figure out what you\u2019ll give up for it. Forget the temple marriage<sup class='footnote' id='fnref-1353-4'><a href='#fn-1353-4' rel='footnote'>4<\/a><\/sup> and settle for walking down the aisle like normal people.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Truth be told, she\u2019d <em>rather<\/em> walk down the aisle in a killer dress than pop into the temple for a fifteen-minute ritual in a plain white dress, followed by a low-key cake-and-punch reception in the church gym afterward. If she married a non-Mormon, which wasn\u2019t prohibited nor especially blinked at, she could have a big ceremony and reception.<\/p>\n<p>But the simple temple ritual was the goal, had been the goal since she was born, and she was uncomfortable giving up that goal. It was a marker, a signifier of tribal conformity, a rite of passage. It was also very inexpensive. Since most brides paid most of a wedding\u2019s expenses, Giselle would never be able to afford the kind of lavish wedding and reception she\u2019d want.<\/p>\n<p>Was giving up the goal <em>worse<\/em> than growing older, alone, and more tired?<\/p>\n<p>Tired of going to church every Sunday and hearing about how to be a better wife and mother, being asked to take on extra tasks because she didn\u2019t have a family to take up her time, feeling like an outsider <em>not<\/em> because she had unorthodox opinions, but because she was a thirty-something single woman in a church that was all about family. She hadn\u2019t been to church on Mother\u2019s Day in fifteen years.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCelibacy\u2019s not natural at our age, Giz. We\u2019ve had this conversation before.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Tired of not having a warm, breathing, naked man in bed with her every night, a man who would understand her and love her in spite of the sharp edges she didn\u2019t want dulled, a man who would make all these years of celibacy worth the wait.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe only guys who ask me out are ones I have zero interest in, so it\u2019s a moot point. Besides which, I\u2019m one of those girls who\u2019ll fall in love with the first guy she has sex with and I don\u2019t want to get my heart broken.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But it was too late to keep her heart intact and she hadn\u2019t had to do much to crack it. She looked down at her scarlet linen skirt and felt her eyes sting. If she started crying, she\u2019d have to explain and then fix her makeup, which would make her late for church.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, out with it. Who is he?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Damn Sebastian and his eye for detail. But why not tell him? She didn\u2019t have anybody else to talk to.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know his name,\u201d she finally mumbled.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat did he do to you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>He stole my soul.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She picked at a piece of nonexistent lint. \u201cHe was contemptuous of me,\u201d she admitted wearily. \u201cI don\u2019t know why. It made me mad and then we had an argument and then I\u2014 We&#160;\u2026 kissed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There were several seconds of silence before he slowly said, \u201cYou let a man you just met\u2014whose name you don\u2019t know\u2014in your personal space\u2014long enough for him to kiss you\u2014<em>after<\/em> he insulted you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She could feel the flush creep back up her face. She cleared her throat. \u201cUm, I\u2014 I, uh&#160;\u2026 Actually, I kissed him and&#160;\u2026 he kissed me back.\u201d Sebastian gaped at her. She haltingly told him what happened, his astonishment growing with each word.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen did this happen?\u201d he asked when she finished.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIn April. At work. Hale\u2019s client.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo that\u2019s why you\u2019ve been moping around like a kicked puppy.\u201d She said nothing. \u201cHe was contemptuous of you but he wants to fuck you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her brow wrinkled. \u201cMaybe? Yes? I don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo find out who he is from your boss and ask him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her head snapped up, her eyes wide in horror. \u201cOh, I don\u2019t think so. His suit and shoes were bespoke.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian would empathize with any man of wealth beset by women whose interest in him was driven solely by his net worth. \u201cBut he wants you too, so that doesn\u2019t follow. What makes you think he\u2019s a Rearden?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe\u2019s a warrior. You can tell. He\u2019s bigger than you. He\u2019s\u2014\u201d She stopped and thought. \u201cIt was the way he looked at me, like he wanted to&#160;\u2026 do what Rearden did to Dagny.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian pursed his lips. \u201cYou better be careful with that. Not many men could throw a woman at a bed, fuck her until she can\u2019t walk, make her do exactly what he wants her to do and then <em>not<\/em> carry that outside the bedroom. Bigger than me, huh? I can pick you up and toss you over my shoulder.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah, a lot of guys could do that. No one\u2019s ever had the balls to try.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, no <em>Mormon<\/em> man has ever had the balls to try. You haven\u2019t given anyone else half a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She said nothing else for a moment. There was that other thing\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe, um&#160;\u2026 He called me Lilith.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo he knows his art well enough to catch the resemblance.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt wasn\u2019t a compliment.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He gave a Gallic shrug. \u201cThat only means he wants to fuck you and he\u2019s pissed about it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut <em>why?<\/em> I have never seen him before in my life. He acted like I\u2019d wronged him sometime in the past.\u201d She huffed. \u201cExplain this to me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know, but whatever it is, it doesn\u2019t have anything to do with you personally, especially since he kissed you back and took control.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDoesn\u2019t matter,\u201d she groused. \u201cI\u2019m not going to throw myself at a rich man, much less one who doesn\u2019t like me, and there\u2019s no way I could work that out without looking like a whore.\u201d <em>Especially<\/em> with that face, which must make it exponentially more difficult for him. \u201cOr desperate.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWould you fuck him if he came after you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She looked through her cousin, her tongue running over her teeth as she thought. Finally, she whispered, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian squinted at her. \u201cDidn\u2019t you just tell me you didn\u2019t want to get your heart broken by a guy who only wanted to get you in bed?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Mostly<\/em>. But sometimes, a guy will catch my eye. And keep it. And I want to talk to him, but I never do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo you <em>are<\/em> willing to gamble on a guy you\u2019re really attracted to who\u2019s attracted to you too and he <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em> have to be a member of the church after all.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She sniffled. \u201cMaybe. A guy I want who wants me enough to pursue me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe can\u2019t pursue you if he hasn\u2019t seen you, doesn\u2019t know you exist. You have to get his attention and give him the opportunity.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know, but I don\u2019t want to be sneered at.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He thought about that for a second, then grimaced. \u201cAnd&#160;\u2026 the first man whose attention you tried for sneered at you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She was silent for a moment. \u201cNot&#160;\u2026 the first one,\u201d she said low. \u201cAnd that one sure as hell didn\u2019t sneer at me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUh&#160;\u2026 what, now?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She pursed her lips. \u201cWhen I was at BYU,\u201d she began contemplatively. She\u2019d never told anyone this story, and had, in fact, forgotten it in the intervening years. \u201cThe beginning of my junior year. I\u2019m at Knox\u2019s house tutoring one of my karate students. I\u2019m in my gi, all nasty, hair frizzed out, face red as a beet because I\u2019d been working out for hours, right? Glasses. Braces. Remington Steele walks through the front door.\u201d Sebastian\u2019s eyebrows rose. \u201cTook a peek, died a little inside, and went on with what I was doing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI thought you said you tried for his attention.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, I got his attention, all right.\u201d She took a deep breath. \u201cHe noticed me. He looked at me like he wanted to drag me off to bed and I\u2019m all sticky and stinky and gross and a walking advertisement for a \u2018before\u2019 pic at Glamour Shots.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He blinked. \u201c<em>Really?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLike, <em>why<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo&#160;\u2026&#160;?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe was married.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOpe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah.\u201d Now she was completely choked up. \u201cI forgot about it after a while, but it kind of set the stage, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThen <em>this<\/em> guy sneered at you but took everything you gave him anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She nodded. \u201cI hadn\u2019t given any of this too much thought before that happened. Too much to do, too much stress, too much drama. But it\u2019s been all I can think about since April.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf Remington Steele had approached you back then, you probably would\u2019ve blown him off.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her eyebrow rose. \u201cWould <em>you<\/em> want to be hit on when you\u2019re fat and smell like you\u2019ve rolled in pig shit?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian pursed his lips. \u201cMmmm, guess not.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI haven\u2019t gone to the temple by myself,\u201d she blurted before she could stop herself, \u201cbecause if I do, I\u2019ll have to admit I\u2019m not wanted. That I gave up. But I\u2019m at the end of my rope and I don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGive up your virginity instead.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t want to screw up!\u201d she insisted. \u201cI don\u2019t want to feel used or stupid or conned. Vulnerable. Weak. Out of control. Caught somewhere between the church and my feminism, between my personality and what I want that I can\u2019t get.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s not the church,\u201d he said flatly, \u201cand it\u2019s not Betty Friedan. It was all those fucking bodice rippers you tore through when you were twelve. Virginal ingenue. Older, experienced alpha. Her first time is with him because he\u2019s overcome with lust, then <em>he<\/em> falls in love with <em>her<\/em> for no discernible reason and it turns out to be true love, happily ever after amen, and she can\u2019t be blamed for seducing him. You did your dissertation on the proto-romance novel and you opened a bookstore dedicated to them. Hank Rearden is just a grown-up variation on your theme because you\u2019ve aged out of ingenue, and the church gives you an <em>excuse<\/em> to keep holding out for a hero.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That hurt. A lot. And, as usual, she couldn\u2019t think of a scathing response quickly enough.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re gonna make mistakes in choosing your partners,\u201d he went on more gently. \u201cEverybody does. And, yes, you\u2019ll get your heart broken a couple of times, and you\u2019ll get through it. But think about this: Would you rather be sitting here stewing over that kiss, crying over that guy, knowing that somewhere in this town, there\u2019s a man you want, who really wants you <em>in spite of himself<\/em>, whom you <em>do<\/em> have access to now that you\u2019re ripped, your tits are high and tight, and you can dress up and smell good\u2014or would you rather it hadn\u2019t happened at all?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle opened her mouth to answer that, but slowly closed it again.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMmm hm.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle had nothing more to say, and apparently, Sebastian had said all he intended to. He slid down into his chair and lapsed into brooding. She waited for him to re-start the movie\u2014it was one of his favorites\u2014but he didn\u2019t and his sullen silence was a bit concerning.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI just tore all my old wounds open and you didn\u2019t throw too much salt in them. What\u2019s your problem?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian\u2019s mouth twitched in thought and he still wouldn\u2019t look at her. He poured more Scotch. \u201cSame as yours, I guess,\u201d he muttered. \u201cI want a family. A wife, kids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That startled her. \u201cWhere\u2019s this coming from? You\u2019ve been a libertine since you decided proselytizing was for the birds halfway through your mission.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI haven\u2019t fucked a woman since Vanessa left. Three years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou were with her in New York last week.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat&#160;\u2026 was a mistake I would prefer to forget.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He took a deep breath. \u201cI\u2019m there in bed with her. She\u2019s asleep. The sex was good. It always is with her. But I\u2019m&#160;\u2026 <em>lonely<\/em>. She\u2019s just getting started on her life and I\u2019m doing the same thing I\u2019ve been doing for years and I have no one to share it with. I\u2019m almost forty. I\u2019d like to have someone at my funeral besides you and Knox, provided Fen hasn\u2019t managed to kill either of you by then. I don\u2019t know. I\u2019m too old to be playing frat boy, plus I think I maxed out my condom budget.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle chuckled. \u201cWhen you were with her last week, did you feel like you want it to be permanent now?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo. She\u2019s too young. Too ambitious to settle down right now, especially with someone who\u2019s already established. Too hung up on whatever fish that got away when she was in middle school or some shit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That surprised her. Giselle was pretty sure who Vanessa\u2019s fish was, but Sebastian wouldn\u2019t, so she kept her speculation to herself. \u201cWhich part of this is bothering you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHer youth and inexperience. I don\u2019t want that. I want an equal. Someone I can really talk to, has life experience, who\u2019ll listen to me, give me good advice. Hopefully have a couple of things in common. Go out and just&#160;\u2026 <em>be<\/em>. Together. You know?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cA companion.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He hesitated. \u201cYeah, I think so. Maybe she\u2019s ambitious, maybe she\u2019s not, maybe I don\u2019t care one way or the other. Someone who <em>sees<\/em> me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She didn\u2019t know what to do with this Sebastian Taight. He\u2019d never expressed any desire for a wife or family, never had a real connection with a woman, never wanted one and was vocal about it. Giselle couldn\u2019t remember the last time she genuinely felt sorry for him, but he was miserable.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat am I missing?\u201d he burst out. \u201cI\u2019m not hideous. I\u2019m semi-literate. I have a fairly decent job and I can pay my bills.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her sympathy turned to irritation in a heartbeat. \u201cHow many times do I have to tell you this? For you, it\u2019s all about the clothes. You go around in your cutoff jeans seven-eighths nekkid, strutting around like a Parisian peacock without a dime to your name. You\u2019re relaxed, funny, having a good time. It <em>rains<\/em> women. I\u2019ve seen you break out that freight-train mojo, go heavy on the French accent, and what would get any other man arrested for assault works like a charm. So you pick one or two, fuck \u2019em, send \u2019em home, and everybody had a good time.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut then you put on a suit or a tux, you turn into cool King Midas and everything is serious business. You don\u2019t smile or laugh. You rarely speak. At best, you\u2019re completely unapproachable. At worst, you\u2019re about to launch a terror attack.\u201d Sebastian snorted. \u201cThe minute you put on that black suit, women become the enemy and Versace is your suit of armor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s not fair. I never wear Versace.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll you have to do is wear your yacht clothes and be <em>you<\/em>. Interact like normal people without worrying about sex <em>or<\/em> money.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat is not possible. Money and sex are the <em>only<\/em> things I think about, but they can\u2019t coexist in my brain. It\u2019s either one or the other and society is all about money. And I\u2019m sure as hell not thinking about money when I\u2019m drowning in burnt umber and beautiful women.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She rolled her eyes. \u201cYou\u2019re stuck in a rut. Have you ever approached a woman because she was interesting and you wanted to talk to her?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He gave her a stony look.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI mean, after you graduated.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His mouth flattened. \u201cTried here and there,\u201d he muttered. \u201cDidn\u2019t go well.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat were you wearing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Yacht clothes<\/em>,\u201d he sneered.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWere they pitying or creeped out?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPitying.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI can work with that.\u201d Giselle thought for a few seconds. \u201cWhat about one of your clients? Don\u2019t tell me you\u2019ve not run across one tall, rubenesque blonde high-level executive somewhere out there? You can talk to them in that setting, let them get to know you, get to know them, and then you won\u2019t be so awkward.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m Satan, remember? The minute a CEO figures out she has to call me to come bail her out, my chances are reduced to less than nil. She\u2019s embarrassed, pissed off, and feeling insecure. Not much I can do to spin that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThen I got nothin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAre you going to church today or not?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She glanced at the clock and saw she should have left fifteen minutes ago. \u201cNot. I wasn\u2019t sure I wanted to go today anyway, so I got Sister Evans to teach the lesson.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy? You like to teach.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle pursed her lips. \u201cThis week\u2019s topic is the law of chastity.\u201d Sebastian gaped at her for a split second before he burst out laughing. She scowled at him. \u201cShut up. It\u2019s not funny.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes it is.\u201d He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, still laughing. \u201cOkay, well. Since you\u2019re not going to church, let\u2019s go play tennis. That\u2019ll make us both feel better.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll right, but wear yacht clothes so you can at least <em>try<\/em> to strike up a conversation with somebody. I\u2019ll chat you up or something. Oh, and you have to smile.\u201d He sighed heavily. \u201cWe can get cheesecake, too. More opportunities. If you get an impromptu snack date, I\u2019ll disappear.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCheesecake?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThey have a low-carb version. Blow my count for the day, but whatever.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFine,\u201d he grumbled.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou know,\u201d she mused as she arose to go change clothes, \u201ctrash my romance-novel fantasies all you want, but <em>I<\/em> made the first move on a guy I found attractive. <em>Twice<\/em>. And <em>I\u2019m<\/em> the girl. You\u2019re the dude. You\u2019ve got money, looks, and power, and you\u2019re <em>still<\/em> scared of getting cooties\u2014\u201d He snarled at her. \u201c\u2014if you\u2019re not in starving-artist mode. You might as well be living rent-free in Mommy\u2019s basement playing <em>Grand Theft Auto<\/em> and slinging freight at FedEx for Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Oh, wait! You <em>do<\/em> live in the basement most of the time. It\u2019s not your mom\u2019s, so you\u2019ve got that going for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, you made your point,\u201d he growled. \u201cYou didn\u2019t have to go nuclear.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She smiled sweetly. \u201cThe only winning move is not to play.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">9: WHOSOEVER LOOKETH ON A WOMAN<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">WHEN WAS THIS going to end?<\/p>\n<p>Bryce looked at his watch. Ten more minutes of home and family. <em>Why<\/em> had he come to church today?<\/p>\n<p><em>To purge Giselle Cox.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>He closed his eyes. He\u2019d hoped the subject of chastity wouldn\u2019t rear its ugly head, but the second it crossed his mind, the speaker referenced cleaving unto one\u2019s wife. He hadn\u2019t cleaved any woman in years.<\/p>\n<p>An ache grew like a cancer behind Bryce\u2019s breastbone.<\/p>\n<p>Chastity was relatively easy, self-stimulation notwithstanding, when a man had a burnt-to-a-crisp face that made women flinch.<\/p>\n<p>Until <em>her<\/em>, the Chouteau County prosecutor\u2019s lover.<\/p>\n<p>Brains. Body. Weaponry.<\/p>\n<p>That kiss, the one she\u2019d initiated, the one he\u2019d taken away from her, the one she couldn\u2019t control or take back.<\/p>\n<p>That <em>look<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce always knew what he wanted from a woman, but he hadn\u2019t made peace with it until two-thirds of the way through his marriage. Meryl wasn\u2019t going to give him what he wanted, but he didn\u2019t want it from <em>her<\/em> anyway. She didn\u2019t mind; she found plenty of men who would cater to her kink, because Bryce sure as hell wasn\u2019t going to.<\/p>\n<p>He looked around at the chapel, the same one he and his family had attended when they lived in Mission Hills, just a couple of miles away across the Missouri-Kansas state line. Fundamentally identical to any Mormon church building, it was comfortable and spartan in its bland d\u00e9cor with no crosses or crucifixes. No distractions.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce had only set foot in this building a few times since the fire. Had he expected anything to change in the past few years?<\/p>\n<p>He bowed his head for the closing prayer, feeling nothing but bitterness at the abandonment of the God he\u2019d served so faithfully for over three decades.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d subverted his nature and quelled his base desires.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d followed church teachings to the best of his ability, all the while ignoring philosophies that called to his intellect.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d fulfilled his father\u2019s expectations as a good and righteous priesthood holder in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u2014and spent every day of it in absolute misery.<\/p>\n<p>He should have listened to his best friend, his college roommate, the only person who had ever told him the truth.<\/p>\n<div class=\"lr8\">\n<div class=\"italic\">\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">\u201cYou don\u2019t want her! You\u2019re marrying her because your father bought her act and you\u2019re going along with his program as usual.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou just hate my dad.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI hate TYRANTS. I hate that you do whatever he wants you to do whether it\u2019s the right thing to do or not.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou can talk. You hop when your uncle snaps his fingers.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOne\u2014 He doesn\u2019t micromanage. Two\u2014 Remember why I have to do that and keep your apples out of my oranges. Three\u2014 I\u2019m nineteen and I can claim myself on my taxes. You\u2019re twenty-three and a returned missionary, but your dad\u2019s still claiming you as a dependent.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce flushed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe is not who your dad thinks she is. She\u2019s not sweet and quiet. She\u2019s not going to calm you down. She\u2019s a promiscuous, manipulative, deceitful cunt.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe\u2019s not a\u2014 That\u2019s not true.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCunt, Bryce. Say it. For once in your life, call it what it is. Cunt.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce said nothing because he was too nauseated hearing that word from his best friend about his fianc\u00e9e.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOpe! I just called your future wife a cunt and you didn\u2019t punch me in the face. You\u2019re barely irritated.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He couldn\u2019t listen to this anymore.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t you walk away from me. Someone has to be the bad guy, so I\u2019m volunteering. You are not going to be happy with someone quiet and demure, even if she were, which she is not. You play football like a savage. No one on campus will play racquetball with you anymore. You\u2019ve publicly humiliated more than one of your professors and then forced them to defend the grades they gave you in retaliation. Why the hell can\u2019t you stand up to your dad?!<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe\u2019re talking about your life here! Kids! You\u2019re going to let your dad make the most important decision of your life because he doesn\u2019t like who you are? There is nothing wrong with you or what you want. Do you even know what you want?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Oh, Bryce knew, but what he wanted was certainly not part of being a pure and righteous priesthood holder.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, then. You may not know what you want, but I do. You want a woman who\u2019s smart. Edgy. Petite, muscular, nice rack. You want a woman you can talk to, have deep discussions with, then take home and slam up against a wall and fuck. And she\u2019ll love everything you give her, beg for more, because that\u2019s who she is and that\u2019s what she wants and that\u2019s what you want to give her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce couldn\u2019t breathe. How had he known? He fought those graphic images constantly, put there by exactly that type of woman almost twice his age right before he\u2019d left for his mission. He\u2019d tried to forget. Heaven knew, he\u2019d tried.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd how do I know this? Because every woman you\u2019ve dated has come to me crying about why you dumped her because she didn\u2019t understand. You know what I say? \u2018He really likes you and he wants to fuck you in the worst way, but he\u2019s a good Mormon boy and his daddy\u2019s got his balls in a vise.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce groaned.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThey don\u2019t know whether to kiss you or kill you, but at least they know it\u2019s not on them. The kind of women you like\u2014they\u2019re in the church, but you have to get east of the Rockies and pay attention. You can have what you want. You can be who you are. You can still go to church and be a good person. The church doesn\u2019t care how you like sex as long as you\u2019re faithful to your wife. Be yourself. Find a woman who wants the same things you do. You\u2019ll be fine. There is no sin in that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, I\u2014 That\u2019s not me. That\u2019s not who I want to be.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re never going to be your dad! Fuck him if he can\u2019t appreciate you for who you are.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s jaw ground and his hands clenched, fighting the urge to plow his fist in his roommate\u2019s face.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGah. Fine. Whatever. Go ahead and marry her. I\u2019ll support you, I\u2019ll be your best man, and I\u2019ll never speak of it again once the vows are said. But I\u2019m telling you now, you\u2019re lying to yourself. Even if I\u2019m wrong about her and you have a nice, quiet little life with her, it\u2019ll still be the worst mistake you ever make\u2014and you\u2019ll live with it every single miserable day, wondering what could have been if you\u2019d had an ounce of common sense and half that much courage.\u201d\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"top60\">&nbsp;<\/div>\n<p>Bryce bent over and buried his head in his hands, shuddering from the agony of that conversation still ringing through his head after twenty years. He\u2019d remembered it the day after Leah\u2019s funeral, and hadn\u2019t been able to forget it.<\/p>\n<p>Now, on top of everything else, he lived with the anger of a disillusioned zealot: the irreconcilable differences between what he wanted and what his father had expected of him; Meryl\u2019s private infidelity and public piety; her war of manipulation and deceit, against which he had no defenses; and most especially the deaths of his four children and in such a catastrophic manner.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce had no place in these pews.<\/p>\n<p>Yet&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>This was his cultural identity, a good portion of his own identity and what made him <em>him<\/em>. This church, this lifestyle, was all he\u2019d ever known, all he\u2019d ever wanted to know. He\u2019d done everything expected and requested of him, but now he felt empty, abandoned, unloved\u2014and had since he\u2019d walked out of the San Diego temple at twenty-four a married man.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce skipped Sunday school and priesthood, and went home after sacrament meeting<sup class='footnote' id='fnref-1353-5'><a href='#fn-1353-5' rel='footnote'>5<\/a><\/sup> unable to stomach any more.<\/p>\n<p>Nobody had approached him to say hello. He\u2019d attracted some glances of the preoccupied type, as if everyone had so much on their minds that they didn\u2019t see him. He understood that. He remembered those days, his years as a lay clergyman on the fast track to bishop, when Sunday meant meetings from dawn until dusk, when he had too much to think about to welcome new people. He didn\u2019t want to have to re-introduce himself to people who already knew him and forgotten him, wouldn\u2019t recognize him if they did remember. He didn\u2019t want to have to talk about where his family went, what happened to his face, confront whatever story Meryl had spun before she died, much less any possible gossip about what he <em>must<\/em> have done to his family.<\/p>\n<p>As for the people who had noticed him and shied away, he couldn\u2019t judge them any more harshly than anybody else, since he had that effect on everybody.<\/p>\n<p>Except one.<\/p>\n<p>Giselle Cox.<\/p>\n<p>Knox Hilliard\u2019s lover.<\/p>\n<p>Who had made herself very clear about what she wanted from him, what she knew he could give her.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d never known temptation like her. He <em>lusted<\/em> after her and his breath shortened at the thought of her body under his, what he wanted to do to her, what he wanted her to do to him.<\/p>\n<p>He wondered if could bury his pride enough to pursue her, to seduce her away from her lover. The only thing keeping him from doing so was the knowledge that she was with Knox Hilliard, because he did <em>not<\/em> want to go where Hilliard had been.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">10: GREEDY ENEMY OF THE STATE<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptdate\">November 2005<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">GISELLE AND SEBASTIAN sat in their open-plan dining area at the vast table that, more often than not, served as a conference table. She was studying. He was tapping away on his laptop. National news was on in the background. Knox came through the front door, bringing the cold, wet November air with him, up the four steps to the \u201cconference room\u201d platform, dumping his briefcase and computer at the far end of the table. He went to the kitchen and foraged in the refrigerator before he, too, sat down to work without a word.<\/p>\n<p>After a while, Giselle spoke. \u201cHow expensive did your little temper tantrum turn out to be?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt wasn\u2019t. Not even legal fees. I also refused to apologize and insisted on a gag order.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle gasped. \u201c<em>How?!<\/em> That claim was for two million dollars!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was gonna pay it just to make it go away, but I sat on it until I cooled off. When I told Eric what happened, he ordered me to keep my checkbook and mouth shut, then proceeded to take care of the situation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She supposed there was a reason Knox\u2019s executive assistant prosecutor was also his personal attorney.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe informed the complainant\u2019s attorney that <em>I<\/em> was originally the target of sexual harassment, and since the actual perpetrator was A, female and B, a student and C, broke, and D, not the claimant, and I am A, male and B, an instructor and C, loaded, that I and the university were now targets for extortion by an opportunist, if not outright grifter. He explained that she could walk away and forget it ever happened, but if she pursued it, I would prefer to spend my fortune on lawyers than give it to her. <em>Then<\/em> he would arrest her for felony extortion for shits and giggles, although it would never stick. She decided she couldn\u2019t afford to go up against my bank account or risk a night in lockup. He waved goodbye with a smile and a \u2018Better luck next time.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle snickered.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe can be a mean little shit when he has to be. I\u2019m so proud of that kid.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d Sebastian said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKnox popped off in class rather inappropriately last year and got sued.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWere you there?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSadly.\u201d Giselle slid Knox a glance. His sudden glower was all the warning she needed to keep her mouth shut about the catalyst. \u201cAn entitled special snowflake mean girl thought she was going to be cute and propositioned him in class. Instead of saying, \u2018Get out\u2019 like a non-dumbass would\u2019ve, he decided to one-up her. Hard. <em>She<\/em> didn\u2019t sue him, but a different snowflake did.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy didn\u2019t <em>she<\/em> sue him?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI dunno,\u201d she said airily, then blew on her fingernails and buffed them on her shirt. \u201cShe dropped out the week after.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUh huh,\u201d he drawled wryly, then looked at Knox. \u201cYou didn\u2019t get fired?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI reminded the dean there isn\u2019t another white-collar crime instructor who\u2019ll do Tuesday and Thursday evening classes until next year, <em>and<\/em> that Eric did the university\u2019s dirty work, too. UMKC didn\u2019t have to pony anything up, put their lawyers on it, or make a statement. Complainant can\u2019t talk about it, Sherry\u2019s gone\u2014thank you\u2014and all the people who were there will be perpetuating an urban legend that makes me even more evil. Everybody\u2019s happy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll that and you\u2019d do it again,\u201d Giselle said dryly.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHell, yes, I would! I get tired of those little bitches and there are a handful every semester. It was bad enough getting obliquely propositioned in private, then it happens in public? That was the last straw. Worth every second because I\u2019m not going to have that problem anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle raised her eyebrow at him, and he scowled again. No, he wasn\u2019t going to have <em>that<\/em> problem anymore, but he still had his Justice McKinley problem.<\/p>\n<p>They worked for a while until\u2014<\/p>\n<div class=\"left\">\n<div class=\"tb30\">\n<div class=\"lr15\">\n<div class=\"italic\">\n<p class=\"left\">Breaking news this afternoon from Kansas City, Missouri. OKH Enterprises CEO Fen Hilliard has announced the formation of an exploratory committee for a possible run for the Senate seat that will be vacated at the end of this term\u2014<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>All three of them turned toward the TV and gaped. Giselle felt the blood drain from her face.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou have got to be kidding me,\u201d Sebastian whispered. \u201c<em>SHIT!<\/em>\u201d he roared, slamming his hands on the table as he got up and started to pace, his hand rubbing his mouth. \u201cI gotta go make some calls,\u201d he muttered finally, his long legs eating up the distance from the dining area to his office. Giselle winced when the door slammed.<\/p>\n<p>She and Knox traded sober glances. Fen had put Sebastian in check brilliantly, thus setting Knox and Giselle back in play if he decided to call Giselle\u2019s bluff. Giselle never bluffed. Although she dreaded the consequences of taking Fen\u2019s life, she would do it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMurder never washes clean,\u201d Knox offered softly.<\/p>\n<p>She looked away, biting her lip, nauseated.<\/p>\n<div class=\"tb30\">\n<div class=\"lr15\">\n<div class=\"italic\">\nShould Democrat Fen Hilliard win the seat, he will tip the balance of power in the Senate. Some on Wall Street speculate that he would bring the necessary leverage to pass legislation that would force his nephew, financier Sebastian Taight, to cease his takeover of OKH Enterprises. How such legislation might impact the financial landscape is unknown at this time.<\/p>\n<p>Taight, infamous for his Fix-or-Raid policy, has been accused by various corporate executives and members of Congress of deliberately sabotaging companies that have hired his services. Although no fault has been found in various audits across the spectrum of companies Taight has taken over, a Hilliard win in the Senate could trigger long-anticipated hearings on Capitol Hill to call Taight to answer these allegations and account for his business practices.<\/p>\n<p>On a related note, another of Hilliard\u2019s nephews, Knox Hilliard, Chouteau County, Missouri, prosecutor and heir to OKH Enterprises, was only recently cleared of last year\u2019s murder of his bride. No other suspects are in custody at this time, but investigations into the allegations of corruption in his office are ongoing.\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s a relief,\u201d Knox muttered. \u201cWish the FBI would inform me when they decide I didn\u2019t do something.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The office door flew open and Sebastian was angrier. \u201cGets worse,\u201d he snapped, leaning over the table. \u201cKenard\u2019s on the guest list for the fundraiser next month.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox heaved a weary sigh.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis is what\u2019s going to happen,\u201d Sebastian said. He took up pacing again, his expression one he got when he had to churn through thousands of possibilities to deal with a problem. \u201cYou\u2014 Giselle\u2014\u201d She started, but he went on. \u201cYou are going to that fundraiser with me next month and if Kenard shows up, you will keep him away from Fen. I\u2019ll attempt to keep Fen away from Kenard.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAre you out of your fucking mind?\u201d Knox demanded.<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian stopped and stared at him, an eyebrow cocked wickedly. \u201cAre you concerned for Fen\u2019s life, his war chest, or that\u2014Bonus!\u2014Kenard will <em>love<\/em> her?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox stared at him stonily.<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian smirked. \u201cThat\u2019s what I thought.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWait,\u201d Giselle said. \u201cWho is this person and what am I supposed to do with him and why am I doing it and why doesn\u2019t Knox want me to?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBryce Kenard,\u201d Sebastian explained, \u201cis one of the most powerful tort lawyers in the country. He\u2019s filthy rich\u2014serious fuck-you money\u2014and he has influence\u2014very <em>quiet<\/em> influence. He keeps his politics to himself, and for Fen to court him means that he can\u2019t come up with enough campaign money from amongst his cronies. Kenard\u2019s support could be the difference between his running for Senate and not, <em>and<\/em> he has a personal reason to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox growled, and Giselle glanced at him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt is <em>imperative<\/em> that you keep him away from Fen,\u201d Sebastian continued, his tone urgent. \u201cIf Fen doesn\u2019t get Kenard\u2019s support that night, he\u2019ll have to work that much harder to drum up the kind of cash Kenard could give him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat makes no sense. Why couldn\u2019t he get it any other time?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe <em>could<\/em> and he <em>might<\/em>, but Kenard gives people one chance to pitch ideas at him. If they don\u2019t get him in the first thirty seconds, they don\u2019t get him at all. You know Fen\u2019s patient and he likes to put on a show. He\u2019ll think that\u2019ll impress the hell out of him without having to say a word.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay. What am I supposed to do with him?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll you have to do is be yourself,\u201d Knox mumbled. \u201cHe\u2019s brilliant and he likes nothing more than erudite conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYour job is to lead him away from Fen\u2014preferably out of sight and as far away from the party as possible\u2014and fuck his mind. He\u2019ll forget everything else but you, and Fen will know that he was singularly unimpressed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t like this idea,\u201d Knox pronounced.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOf course you don\u2019t,\u201d Sebastian snapped. \u201cPee on her leg before she leaves for the party, whydon\u2019tcha?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy is Knox being pissy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian smirked at Knox. \u201cAsk him. If he tells you the truth, I\u2019ll give you three months\u2019 rent free.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox sat blank-faced.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox reached across the table, tore a piece of paper out of Giselle\u2019s notebook, and scribbled an IOU to Sebastian for three months of her rent. Sebastian howled and Giselle decided she didn\u2019t care why Knox was upset; she\u2019d take the money and keep her curiosity to herself.<\/p>\n<p>Once Sebastian had calmed down enough to get back to business, he leaned across the table and got right in Giselle\u2019s face. \u201cThis is very important. You must have scared Fen enough to get him to back off you two, but now he\u2019s coming after me. There\u2019s just too much anti-Taight sentiment on Capitol Hill, <em>especially<\/em> after the way we dunked on the Department of Justice. He could easily get me shut down\u2014and he\u2019d most definitely be able to haul my ass in front of the Senate. Wouldn\u2019t he love to have me and Knox sitting at a table in front of him and the nation, grilling us like he did when we were kids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He dug a credit card out of his wallet and flipped it at her. \u201cGo get a dress. Make sure you have cleavage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">11: MARGARETHA ZELLE<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptdate\">December 2005<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">\u201cVERY NICE,\u201d SEBASTIAN approved when Giselle emerged from her bedroom on the evening of Fen\u2019s exploratory fundraiser.<\/p>\n<p>The strapless dress, reminiscent of 1950s Hollywood glamor, had two layers. The pencil underskirt of white brocade was beaded and sequined around its floral motif, and the hem just kissed the toes of her red strappy heels. A long slit up the right side allowed Giselle her full stride and relatively quick access to her gun without marring the skirt\u2019s narrow lines.<\/p>\n<p>The full black silk taffeta overskirt had a slight train. The front of it parted in an A shape from waist to floor and flared out like a cape when she walked, framing the white underskirt with stark elegance. Above her skirts, a lightly silver-embroidered and jet-beaded black corset hugged her torso so that just the right amount of bosom blossomed over its top, enough to tease without being vulgar.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d dressed her hair in Gibson-girl style and her evening makeup was on point. A diamond and ruby bracelet, borrowed from Aunt Dianne, Sebastian\u2019s mother, sparkled around her wrist and Giselle\u2019s own tiny diamond earrings dangled from her earlobes.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you have red earrings?\u201d Sebastian asked once he\u2019d carefully assessed the details of her presentation. At her nod, he said, \u201cWear those. The flashier the better. Are you sure about going strapless?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle glanced down at the prominent puckered indentation in the soft hollow just under her left shoulder. \u201cFen needs to see it so he can commence kissing my ass.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMake sure you don\u2019t let Kenard wheedle the story out of you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPffftt.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ve heard he\u2019s clever like that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Once she\u2019d swapped her demure diamond drops for garnet chandelier earrings, Sebastian assisted her into a white mink bolero jacket, also borrowed from his mother.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis is what you need to know,\u201d he told her in the limo on their way to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art. \u201cKenard\u2019s a widower, \u2019bout my age. He\u2019s an honorable man and a consummate gentleman. He\u2019s also a member of the church\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Really?!<\/em>\u201d Giselle perked up, suddenly a lot more interested in this project.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t. He\u2019s apparently one of those super-strict letter-of-the-law Pharisee types, <em>and<\/em> he was on the fast track to bishop before his wife died. He won\u2019t appreciate any seriously heavy flirting\u2014not that you know how to do that anyway. Talk about philosophy, art, literature, music. If you do end up talking about the church, keep your heresies and sacrilege to yourself. No profanity, no off-color jokes. Whatever you do, do <em>not<\/em> talk about politics. Don\u2019t give him any reason to ditch you and go back to the party. If he shows up, it\u2019s because he thinks Fen is an honorable man and he\u2019s seen no evidence to the contrary. Don\u2019t begrudge him that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s Knox\u2019s problem with him?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian slid her a look. \u201cHe paid your rent, so he must not want you to know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat was <em>his<\/em> transaction. This is <em>yours<\/em>. Two completely different obligations.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian laughed. \u201cI really am a bad influence on you. He and Kenard have history that involves the late wife. Either Kenard didn\u2019t want to face reality or he didn\u2019t get the memo about Knox\u2019s taste in women.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhich does not include married ones.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBetter. Young married anorexic blonde ones.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOoh. Four strikes, he\u2019s out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cConsidering he thinks Knox was fucking his wife, it\u2019s possible he\u2019d throw money at Fen just to stick it to Knox. He may already have, for all we know, or he may not want to talk to you. If he takes the bait, keep your mouth shut about Knox. I don\u2019t know anything other than what I\u2019ve told you, but there has to be a lot more to that story. He\u2019s pretty tight-lipped about him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>No wonder Knox had reacted so vehemently to this little scheme. There were few things he wouldn\u2019t share with her, but if he didn\u2019t, it had hurt badly enough that he\u2019d buried it. Once he buried his pain, he didn\u2019t dig it up if he could help it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI haven\u2019t felt inclined to socialize or do any business with him because of that. I\u2019ve seen him around here and there, but I\u2019ve never met him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She looked out the window, her fist clenched between her mouth and the cold glass.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey.\u201d Sebastian snapped his fingers in front of her face. \u201cDo what I told you to do and don\u2019t let your outrage on Knox\u2019s behalf get in the way. Shit, I shouldn\u2019t have said anything at all, \u2019cause now you\u2019ll wear it on your sleeve and fuck it all up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She sighed. \u201cI\u2019ll do my best.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The limousine came to a halt in front of the art gallery\u2019s great wrought iron doors festooned with enormous lit Christmas wreaths, the windows aglow with the lights of a grand party. Sebastian swept her into the building and checked her jacket.<\/p>\n<p>Kirkwood Hall, the heart of the gallery, was marble-clad, four stories high, and punctuated by twelve enormous marble columns. In the center of the hall stood a twenty-foot Christmas tree decorated with white lights, enormous silver and gold glass balls, and red velveteen ribbon. To their right was the Rozzelle Court restaurant, a faithful replica of a fifteenth century Italian villa courtyard full of tables laden with hors d\u2019\u0153uvres and glasses of champagne. In the open arcade above the courtyard, a chamber orchestra played Christmas carols.<\/p>\n<p>Many important people milled about, all dressed in high fashion, all vying for attention, but Giselle wasn\u2019t particularly impressed, considering she had arrived with King Midas. The place echoed with the sounds of titters and guffaws, murmurs and bluster, and the click-clack of women\u2019s heels.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo, where is he?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t see him. It\u2019s possible he won\u2019t show.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere are too many variables for this to work, yanno. I\u2019m just here for the clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m out of ideas,\u201d he said impatiently. \u201cAnd when I said \u2018<em>a<\/em>\u2019 dress, I didn\u2019t mean a whole new designer wardrobe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou are asking me to keep a man I don\u2019t know in my personal space and talking for three hours. You\u2019re going to pay for that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI created a fucking monster,\u201d he grumbled. \u201cLet\u2019s go find Fen, and <em>make nice<\/em>. You hurt his feelings at Thanksgiving, ignoring him like you did. You were downright rude about it, too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, fuck him. I haven\u2019t heard any apologies coming my way, and until I do, he\u2019s not funny.\u201d After some wandering, they found him and Aunt Trudy almost where they came in, going from one cluster of chatting people to the next, shaking hands, laughing.<\/p>\n<p>Fen was a very handsome man, as tall as Knox, his near-white hair coiffed with refined elegance, his face pleasingly carved, his nose perfectly straight and patrician. Incredibly fit, he wore his tuxedo with aplomb. Charismatic, generous, and blessed with a silver tongue, he was the perfect picture of a senatorial candidate and cameras adored him. He turned the heads of women a fraction his age. <\/p>\n<p>Knox would look exactly like Fen in twenty years, a true Hilliard but for the blond hair and blue eyes his mother had given him. It would be easy to believe Knox was Fen\u2019s son, but if Fen thought so, he would\u2019ve demanded a paternity test.<\/p>\n<p>Aunt Trudy was exquisitely made up and coifed as usual (albeit thirty years out of date), her blonde hair in a French twist and her slim figure wrapped in a mint silk ruched gown that had a few too many ruffles for Giselle\u2019s taste. She resisted the urge to rip one or two of them off to streamline the damn thing, but as she and Sebastian drew closer to Fen and Trudy, Giselle contented herself with one contemptuous glance up and down her aunt\u2019s body.<\/p>\n<p>Trudy clenched one fist at her side, as if she wanted to hit Giselle. She\u2019d done it before, but now Giselle wasn\u2019t a chubby, awkward thirteen-year-old easily gaslit and slavishly devoted to earning the approval of her beautiful aunt. Nor was she a fourteen-year-old unwittingly blowing the lid off Trudy\u2019s affair with Fen.<\/p>\n<p>Giselle raised an eyebrow, daring her to say a word, and snickered cruelly when Trudy looked away.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAh, Sebastian, Giselle.\u201d Fen greeted them expansively as if he hadn\u2019t murdered Knox\u2019s father and bride, tried to kill Giselle twice, destroyed her life\u2019s work, and threatened Sebastian with a seat in front of a Senate panel. \u201cSo glad to see you here. I didn\u2019t realize you would be interested or I would have invited you myself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m always intrigued when the CEO of a company I have a controlling interest in decides to run for Congress.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCome, come. I\u2019m sure nothing will change for you when I get to Congress. Giselle,\u201d he murmured, taking her hand and air kissing it. \u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m just fine, thanks. Haven\u2019t seen any goons lurking around corners lately.\u201d She smiled sweetly<\/p>\n<p>Fen leaned toward her. \u201cYou just can\u2019t help it, can you?\u201d he gritted in her ear, his mouth locked into a strained grin. \u201cOne of these days, I\u2019m going to slap the teeth right out of your smart mouth, little girl.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAw,\u201d she whispered. \u201cI <em>did<\/em> hurt your wittow feewings.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He drew away from her slowly, still in candidate mode, still smiling. When his attention caught on her shoulder, his smile faded and his mouth tightened slightly. Giselle snickered and a faint flush rose in his cheeks.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs that remorse I see, Unk?\u201d Sebastian drawled. \u201cAnd you didn\u2019t even send her a get-well card.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Fen\u2019s jaw clenched behind his smile. \u201cMove along, children. I don\u2019t want to babysit you all night. I\u2019d prefer you leave altogether.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo can do,\u201d Sebastian replied smugly. \u201cWe\u2019re just here to eat your food, drink your booze, and be a general pain in your ass.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAs usual.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>They left him there fuming. Giselle was still amused, but Sebastian was so tense, his arm felt like cast iron. He grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter\u2019s tray and downed it in one swallow.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI gotta figure out how to get out from under Fen\u2019s thumb,\u201d he muttered. \u201cRemember when he caught us at that dive bar across town at three in the morning that once? And threatened to tell my dad? I feel like that right now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ve been percolating this all month,\u201d Giselle murmured, disengaging from him to snag a waiter for ice water. Sebastian looked down at her, his eyebrow cocked, waiting. \u201cIt\u2019s a threefer. First, you need to block as much of Fen\u2019s fundraising as possible, like tonight. I\u2019m sure all your friends feel just as threatened by whatever Fen plans to do to you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDone. Next?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou need a Truman.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He looked upward. \u201cHmmm. Raise up a rival candidate. \u2018Senator from Taight.\u2019 Wouldn\u2019t that be hilarious? Rather not back a Democrat if I can avoid it, though.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe Jackson County prosecutor. Kevin Oakley.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIsn\u2019t he the guy who decided you\u2019d done him a favor by taking out the assholes who shot you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, and there are rumors around school he\u2019s itching to get on with the next step in his career. He and Knox are friends, so there\u2019s your in with him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian rocked back on his heels, his hands behind his back, and stared off into the distance.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd did you read the <em>National Review<\/em> article I left on the conference table? The one on intellectual property rights? Byline Justice McKinley?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI googled her, read some of the stuff she\u2019s been writing on some of the smaller conservative blogs. Economist, right? She\u2019s like a baby Bastiat.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBaby\u2019s about right. She\u2019s twenty-three.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That actually shocked Sebastian. \u201cHow do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI go to school with her, that\u2019s how I know.\u201d Giselle kept the other little piece of information concerning Justice McKinley to herself. \u201cShe\u2019s a regular little political prodigy, all strict constructionist pro-life <em>atheist<\/em>, anti-war, anti-war-on-drugs, practically anti-cop to boot, but wants to be a prosecutor to change the system from the inside. Nobody quite knows what to think about her, but she\u2019s tying the religious right up in knots, which is always fun to watch.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShit. I could barely spell my name when I was twenty-three, but now that you mention it, she is a bit irrationally exuberant.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle laughed, then continued, \u201cIf she and Kevin click, they may be able to help each other further their own careers.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian pursed his lips. \u201cEven if he wins, he\u2019ll be powerless to help me. Fen has no such problems because he wants my head more than the rest of the looters and he\u2019s the only one who can actually deliver it via the SEC. He\u2019ll have instant clout.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll Oakley needs to do is give Fen a good fight. The Senate\u2019s not going to want to yank your chain too soon and show its hand if there\u2019s a good chance Fen\u2019ll lose the election. Running Oakley as a Democrat will only get us through the primary, which won\u2019t do us any good if he loses. Running him as a Republican means he\u2019ll be virtually unopposed in the primary and that will buy you enough time to get through the transfer or takeover of OKH and it won\u2019t matter if he loses the general.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>When<\/em> he loses.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBecause after that, when you do end up sitting in front of Fen and his newfound senatorial friends, it\u2019ll be a whole different fight you can win on your terms without the distraction of OKH or the threat of the SEC, especially considering your attorney\u2014you know, that <em>poor<\/em> young man who was cheated of his rightful inheritance on his wedding day when his bride-equipped-with-child was tragically and mysteriously murdered. That evil Fen Hilliard, just like OJ Simpson. Ya know he did it, but the glove doesn\u2019t fit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian actually smiled in public, which made Giselle blink. \u201cGo on,\u201d he muttered over another glass of champagne. \u201cI\u2019ve always admired your deadpan delivery.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThird. When reporters start calling you for comments on Senator Oth\u2019s hatred of you, refer them to the unions\u2019 PR departments. They can hem and haw\u2014 \u2018Now, y\u2019all know this is off the record, mind\u2019 \u2014mumble a few things about how they \u2018doan know nuttin\u2019 \u2019bout nuttin\u2019,\u2019 but seems to them maybe Oth either wasn\u2019t a very good businessman\u2014and what does that say about his leadership in the Senate?\u2014or Taight caught him with his hand in his employees\u2019 cookie jar. Oopsie. His employees lost their jobs, yeah, but that Taight, you know, he made sure they got to take their 401(k)s with \u2019em and <em>then<\/em> his good buddy Mitch Hollander hired \u2019em all. That rabid skunk\u2019ll back off fast. You\u2019ll end up looking like a martyred saint. Also. If the DoJ tries to get in bed with Fen <em>now<\/em>, the unions will kick its ass for you. There are going to be a <em>lot<\/em> of strange bedfellows throwing gold at a candidate who might be able to keep Fen out of D.C. When Kevin loses, he can go back to being a Democrat and try for a seat in the House and move up from there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian stared at her without speaking for a while.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat?\u201d she demanded.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBless your little politico heart,\u201d he said slowly. \u201cYou <em>do<\/em> come in handy occasionally.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Surprised, Giselle didn\u2019t know whether to preen or break his face. \u201cHrmph. The only downside of this is if it makes Fen feel totally irrelevant\u2014which it very well could\u2014he may go off his rocker and three years is long enough for him to devolve back to primordial ooze.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, thank you, Giz. Sometimes I forget just how damned smart you are.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Immediately irritated, she said, \u201cThat\u2019s <em>Dr. Cox<\/em> to you, asshole.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSorry.\u201d Then he started, his attention caught elsewhere. \u201cOh, damn. I almost forgot why we\u2019re here. There\u2019s Kenard,\u201d he said, turning toward the south end of the hall where there were more clusters of people chatting. \u201cHe\u2019s the man with the burn scars on the left side of his face.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">12: HIGH-RENT RENDEZVOUS<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">BRYCE HADN\u2019T WANTED to come to this thing, especially considering how he felt about Fen Hilliard, and his absolute certainty that Fen had had Leah murdered, but curiosity won out. Bryce had spent every Saturday for the past two months on the golf course with him and various other business leaders from around the Midwest just to see how he played chess.<\/p>\n<p>Fen had treated Bryce like an old friend without once mentioning his campaign. He was likable, suave, and not in any way slick or smarmy. No hint of good ol\u2019 boy politics. Not a whiff of courtship. He had his act down cold and Bryce could appreciate Fen\u2019s patience, shrewd strategy, and forethought.<\/p>\n<p>In all that time, however, Bryce hadn\u2019t said much, preferring to listen instead, to observe Fen\u2019s modus operandi, to wait for the thirty-second pitch that never came. Even the invitation to this event had no hint of political purpose in it, but Bryce laughed when the courier delivered it. <em>This<\/em> was the thirty-second pitch.<\/p>\n<p>At least now he knew Fen\u2019s campaign had nothing to do with political ambition and everything to do with Taight\u2019s takeover of OKH. No, Bryce didn\u2019t know Sebastian Taight personally and he didn\u2019t give a shit about OKH, but he strenuously objected to the witch hunt Fen\u2019s announcement had triggered. It would\u2019ve happened eventually, but if Taight went down for this, half the country\u2019s extraordinarily successful entrepreneurs and exponentially more small businesses would go down with him.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce sighed as he nursed his Coke, disengaged from the people who had clumped around him. The company he kept at these inane functions was the most amusing he could find, but some evenings, like tonight, that didn\u2019t say much. Bored out of his mind, he wondered if this was preferable to knocking around in a dark, silent, empty house at Christmastime with nowhere else to be or go, and no one to go with.<\/p>\n<p>Absorbed in watching the play of light on the surface of his soda, Bryce thought he saw a head of honey-colored hair in his periphery and his gut clenched. He had no reason to think <em>she<\/em> would be here, but he turned and looked for her anyway. He froze, shocked, when he saw <em>her<\/em> on Sebastian Taight\u2019s arm chatting amiably\u2014almost familiarly\u2014with Fen and Trudy Hilliard.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce felt like he\u2019d had the wind knocked out of him.<\/p>\n<p>First Knox, then Taight and the rest of the Hilliards. It stood to reason that if she was fucking Knox, she would know Taight and definitely Knox\u2019s mother, but what kind of typist and law student had these kinds of connections? He knew no one in society by the name of Cox or who had ties to a Cox family.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce observed her, taking his time, noticing small details that pleased him but didn\u2019t surprise him. Her black and white dress showed off her pale, exquisitely carved shoulders and back, and gave her hair a subtle brilliance. Rubies dripped from her ears and just brushed the pale skin of her neck. The plump of her breasts above the black corset filled his mind with images of them nude, flushed with passion, nipples begging him to lick and suck. Her legs were hidden by her long skirt and he found himself hoping she was carrying a gun under all that understated elegance.<\/p>\n<p>Collier\u2019s <em>Lilith<\/em> was delicate.<\/p>\n<p><em>I assure you: You have never met a woman like me, and you never will again.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Giselle Cox was most definitely not.<\/p>\n<p>Taight led her away from the Hilliards, strolling around before coming to an abrupt halt. She began to talk and gesture, an Old Fashioned glass of something clear over ice in her ringless left hand, while Taight listened intently. He sipped at his champagne, never taking his eyes off her, then he grinned at her. She returned it, but began to speak again and did so at some length. Taight\u2019s expression gradually transformed from amusement to\u2014 Respect?<\/p>\n<p>Bryce wondered what she could possibly have to say that would have a notorious and semi-reclusive billionaire\u2019s rapt attention. Taight very rarely attended society events and if he did deign to grace an affair with his presence, he mingled very little. He rarely spoke and he never showed any emotion.<\/p>\n<p>If someone had told Bryce that Taight would be at a party for a man he had declared war upon, accompanied by a woman, and so much as smirking, he\u2019d have thought it was a joke. Judging by the murmurs behind him, he wasn\u2019t the only one.<\/p>\n<p>And her!<\/p>\n<p>He could only see her in profile, but he could read her amazingly expressive face from where he stood. She wasn\u2019t silently fuming. She wasn\u2019t overtly angry. She wasn\u2019t being smoothly vicious. She didn\u2019t seem to be flirting, clumsily or otherwise. She wasn\u2019t lost in desire. She wasn\u2019t flustered or confused. She was smiling mischievously and easily pulling smiles and chuckles out of a man who had no sense of humor.<\/p>\n<p>Jealousy, hot and vicious, twisted inside Bryce and his lip curled. Knox Hilliard knew her intimately. Sebastian Taight treated her as an equal, although not as a lover\u2014at least, not as Bryce would have treated her if she were his lover.<\/p>\n<p><em>Who was she?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>All his adult life, he\u2019d known women who craved attention and did anything they could to get it. He knew when a woman faked obliviousness to attract more attention. This woman wasn\u2019t faking anything and because of it, she had Bryce tied in knots, a room full of men watching her with speculation, women studying her as if to learn something.<\/p>\n<p>She laughed, a lovely peal that bounced off the marble walls, and suddenly Bryce found himself staring into those ice blue eyes that again seemed so familiar as to be eerie.<\/p>\n<p>She blinked, and held his gaze. She blinked again, but turned away as if she hadn\u2019t seen him.<\/p>\n<p>As if he didn\u2019t exist.<\/p>\n<p>Regret exploded in his chest. He\u2019d ruined any chance he might have had with her and he flinched at the way he had dismissed her with such finality. All he\u2019d had to do was ask her out when she\u2019d begged him to\u2014<em>before<\/em> he\u2019d pissed her off.<\/p>\n<p>One hand stuffed in his pocket, he looked down at the floor, angry, jealous. The embrace between her and Hilliard\u2014it tormented him, now months after it had happened, but between Hilliard and Taight, why would she remember Bryce at all?<\/p>\n<p>He thought about going home after all, but that wasn\u2019t going to help. His obsession with her had been bubbling for more than a year, and not a day had gone by since Leah\u2019s funeral that he hadn\u2019t thought of her. Graphically. With his hand around his dick. Nothing was going to make it go away until he got her attention, talked to her, found out who she really was.<\/p>\n<p>Made love to her.<\/p>\n<p>Not necessarily in that order.<\/p>\n<p>This hesitance wasn\u2019t like him. He\u2019d destroyed the fortunes of a few fairly powerful people and a lot of rich but not so powerful ones. Politicians vied for his endorsement and money. A-list celebrities called him for representation. Incompetent physicians and their insurance companies cowered at the mention of his name. He\u2019d shut down more than one medical equipment manufacturer for defective products. He\u2019d gone after far bigger prey than one petite strawberry blonde who wore a gun like a fashion accessory, so where was this coming from?<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s nostrils flared.<\/p>\n<p>Enough.<\/p>\n<p>One way or another, this was going to end\u2014or begin\u2014tonight.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce looked up just as Taight bent to murmur something in her ear, then strode away from her. Once she was alone, though, her amusement vanished so suddenly it was jarring. Bryce continued to watch her, puzzled, as she looked down into her glass. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, slowly in through her nose, then out through the <span class=\"calb\">O<\/span> of her lips. She did that several times, her breasts swelling with each inhalation.<\/p>\n<p>When she finally looked up, she looked straight at him. Deliberately this time, holding his gaze, not glancing away. Her mouth\u2014that cherry-kissed mouth with full lips that could probably work miracles on a man\u2019s anatomy\u2014twitched. A corner of it turned up; not quite a smile, not quite a smirk.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, no. She hadn\u2019t forgotten at all.<\/p>\n<p>Adrenaline shot through him as he raked her from head to toe and back again, deliberately pausing at her breasts before looking back into her eyes. He cocked an eyebrow at her. She acknowledged it with a minuscule shift of her shoulders and lowered eyelids.<\/p>\n<p>Ms Giselle Cox, whoever she was, promised the fulfillment of every one of his long-denied yearnings. She was the most dangerous prey he\u2019d ever hunted and he\u2019d give up everything to have her:<\/p>\n<p>His pride.<\/p>\n<p>His net worth.<\/p>\n<p>His salvation.<\/p>\n<p>Taight had just lost his mistress. He\u2019d deal with Knox later.<\/p>\n<p>She put her glass on a passing waiter\u2019s tray, then turned without warning and sashayed, not toward him, but across Kirkwood Hall to Sculpture Hall. She disappeared behind the Christmas tree, then reappeared, her steps slow and studied, her back straight and head high, as if she had all the time in the world and nowhere in particular to go. He watched her glide across the marble floor, deftly and graciously weaving through clumps of chatters without fanfare.<\/p>\n<p>He followed her through the grand hall, then through the sculpture room littered with clusters of people. A couple of men started to follow her but happened to glance at Bryce. They returned to their cliques, tails between their legs.<\/p>\n<p>A corner of his mouth turned up, suddenly grateful for his scars.<\/p>\n<p>She reached the staircase that led down to the gallery\u2019s annex and smoothly descended to the wide landing. But instead of continuing downward, she turned right to go up to the European exhibits. She unhooked the velvet rope that blocked off that section of the museum, stopped, rope in hand, and looked over her shoulder at him, that same not-smile-not-smirk on her face, and deliberately dropped the rope on the floor.<\/p>\n<p>His feet moved of their own accord. He absently excused himself through the crowd, irresistibly drawn after her as if she were Calypso, ensnaring him with his own lust\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u2014then found himself detained by some policy wonk who not only didn\u2019t notice that Bryce had other plans, but felt entitled to the contents of his brain.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce stood where he\u2019d gotten trapped, watching transfixed as she ascended the staircase step by deliberate step, her white skirt held in her left hand, her hips swaying, the short black train slithering behind her, her delicate right hand sliding up the copper banister. Then she disappeared from view behind a waist-high marble wall.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShit,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n<p>Left or right? A few more of the terminally clueless gathered around him. Which way would she go and why were all these people suddenly demanding his attention? How would he find her? His jaw ground at the thought of losing her to the labyrinthine hallways and myriad exhibits because people he didn\u2019t know wanted a piece of him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGet out of my way,\u201d he snarled, then plowed his way out of this committee of vultures.<\/p>\n<p>He got to the floor where she\u2019d disappeared, ran to the hallway past the European exhibits, and paused. Left or right?<\/p>\n<p>He sniffed.<\/p>\n<p>He went left, following her sillage, as distinctive as she. He turned to take another set of stairs, hitting two landings in quick succession. The gallery, immense and dimly lit, had innumerable nooks and crannies in which to lose oneself by choice or by accident.<\/p>\n<p>As he gained the top step, he turned right to go into the Asian collection, then left, but stopped. He knew she\u2019d passed by here; her scent was lingering and driving him mad. He would not leave this museum tonight without a piece of her, if not all of her.<\/p>\n<p>The trail stopped at the immense Chinese Temple room, two stories high and dimly lit. A section at the farthest end of the room was nearly closed off by a richly carved Moorish mahogany wall. A statue of some sort of deity sat prominently displayed against the frescoed back wall, framed by the opening of the wooden partition. Finally, his eyes adjusted and he saw her silhouette where she sat on a wide ottoman in front of the statue, very still, her back to him.<\/p>\n<p>Then she spoke.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGorgeous, isn\u2019t she?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He started at the sound of her voice, so smooth, so calm, so&#160;\u2026 fragile. How could a woman who exuded such primitive sexuality have such a delicate voice?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNot sure I\u2019d use that term, no,\u201d he murmured vaguely as he entered the room.<\/p>\n<p>She chuckled, then looked up at him once he reached the bench. \u201cThis is my secret place,\u201d she said, humor radiating from her like a shimmering silvery heat wave off hot asphalt, \u201cwhere I come to get away from the world and meditate.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce stepped over the ottoman to sit beside her, glanced at the goddess and searched for words while feeling her steady gaze. He turned his attention back to her, studying her soft face, her full mouth, her patrician nose. Her <em>eyes<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>He hooked one heel on the edge of the upholstery and laid his arm over his flexed knee, leaning into her just enough so that his lapel touched her bare shoulder.<\/p>\n<p>Now that he\u2019d run Lilith to ground, he had no idea what to say to her. He resented her for her sexual relationship with Hilliard and possibly Taight, but he still wanted her for himself.<\/p>\n<p><em>Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Righteousness sure as hell hadn\u2019t been a picnic. Wickedness couldn\u2019t be any worse.<\/p>\n<p>Still watching her, daring her to say a word or make a move, he planted his left hand on the leather behind her and slid his fingers underneath her, his thumb caressing her hip. She purred approvingly, her eyelids shuttering, her butt wiggling slightly against his fingers, her hand rising to his face. The pad of her right thumb brushed his forehead between his eyebrows, where she\u2019d last touched him with cold steel. The gesture startled him. He wasn\u2019t used to a woman\u2019s touch.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI apologize for nearly killing you,\u201d she murmured.<\/p>\n<p>She laid her warm palm flat on the scarred half of his face, nearly covering his eye, her thumb still stroking that spot on his forehead, and her fingers furrowing into his hair. He had never received a touch so intimate from any woman.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was very tired and you startled me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI doubt I was in any imminent danger,\u201d he replied calmly as she took her hand away. He wished she would continue to touch him. He wished she hadn\u2019t touched him at all. \u201cYou seem to be a woman who\u2019s almost always in control.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ms Cox flashed him a merry smile and her eyes crinkled at the corners. \u201cSome people think that\u2019s a bad thing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI suppose it depends on context.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That comment hung in the air as he continued his inspection of her throat, her breasts, her\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d He touched a quarter-sized pucker in the skin below her left shoulder and looked into eyes that had darkened from ice blue to gunmetal gray. \u201cSomeone shot you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTwo someones, actually.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He opened his mouth to ask the next logical question, but\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy did you follow me up here?\u201d she asked in a rush.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy did you ask me to?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her laughter sparkled with so much delight he couldn\u2019t resist any longer. He gripped her chin in his palm and brought her to him. He captured her mouth, startling her into opening for him. Her eyes went wide for a second, then her eyelids drifted closed. With a sigh, she returned his kiss and caressed his face again.<\/p>\n<p>He felt a metal-hard bulge under her skirt and decided that was the only thing she\u2019d be wearing tonight when he wrapped her legs around him.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">13: GRIMM REALITY<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">KENARD\u2019S STRONG HAND, huge, rough, heavily calloused, held her jaw with just enough force to keep her where he wanted her, and was perilously close to her throat. But his kiss&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Mmm<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Acute sensation rolled through her when his tongue found hers, and the feel of his other hand almost right <em>there<\/em> bordered on sensory overload.<\/p>\n<p>She opened her eyes to find him watching her while he kissed her. With a little shake of her head, she easily dislodged his hand to wrap her arms around his neck. With her fingers in his silky hair, she drew him closer and kissed him heatedly, but she couldn\u2019t lead him. He overpowered her too easily.<\/p>\n<p>Giselle sighed when his mouth left hers to explore her cheek, his now-free hand cupping her breast, his thumb caressing the skin at the top of her corset. The big hand that teased her butt swept up her back and curled into curve of her waist. As he kissed, licked, and nipped the column of her neck, he pressed her down into the bench until she was lying on it.<\/p>\n<p>He was kissing her again before she realized he was kneeling over her, his hands bracing himself on the upholstery on either side of her face, his knees flanking her hips.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce Kenard, conquering lord. Conquering Giselle. On an altar of leather in front of a goddess.<\/p>\n<p>She closed her eyes again to <em>feel<\/em> everything he did to her. She wound her hands up and around his forearms to clutch his large, tight biceps covered by the fine wool-silk blend of his tux coat. He returned his attention to her neck to tease and nip. She was panting, her breath ragged, as he slowly worked his way over her collarbone, laved the indentation in her shoulder, then moved further down to the skin of her chest.<\/p>\n<p>She gasped and arched her back when he tucked his mouth in her cleavage, licking, kissing. She couldn\u2019t think, couldn\u2019t breathe, <em>then<\/em> he began to undo the buttons of her corset with his teeth and tongue.<\/p>\n<p>With the brush of air on her naked, wet breastbone, she was instantly flooded with embarrassment, embarrassment that she had lost control with a stranger so completely and voluntarily that she would allow him to undress her. In public.<\/p>\n<p>She made a weak move to dislodge him, but he ignored her. Four, six, eight buttons down, her corset fell open, baring her to the waist. He rose up a bit to stare at her breasts, his expression full of lust, his chest heaving, his nostrils flaring.<\/p>\n<p>Overwhelmed, saturated with adrenaline and desire, she whispered, \u201cLet me go.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kenard\u2019s glittering emerald eyes met hers. \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She gaped at him, suddenly not knowing what to do. He <em>wanted<\/em> her. As much as she wanted <em>him<\/em>. But&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>He took advantage of her confusion and kissed her again, his mouth and tongue hard, pressing her into the upholstery. His hand swept up her ribs to cup her breast, his thumb stroking her nipple until she could only think of what he was doing to her, what else she wanted him to do to her.<\/p>\n<p>His mouth left hers, left her wanting, only to trace down her jaw and throat and chest until he was sucking on her nipple. She whimpered with lust, plowing her fingers through his hair and pulling him closer instead of pushing him away as she should. But he let her nipple go with a broad lick that made her whimper, and returned to her mouth, kissing her, biting her.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiselle,\u201d he whispered harshly, \u201ccome home with me. Now. Tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If this man was a member of the church, he was most definitely <em>not<\/em> on the fast track to bishop. And if she did what she wanted to do, she\u2019d be on the fast track to a shattered heart with nothing to show for it.<\/p>\n<p><em>Would you fuck him if he came after you?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Yes.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Or&#160;\u2026 not.<\/p>\n<p>She shoved at him, surprising him with her strength and nearly knocking him off the altar. He struggled for balance long enough for her to roll out from under him, desperately clutching her corset, and bolt across the room to one of the glass cases. Her chest, damp from his tongue and brushed by the cool air of the vents overhead, heaved as she looked at him warily while trying to button herself up and wondering what the hell just happened.<\/p>\n<p>She couldn\u2019t make her fingers work, she couldn\u2019t suck in her breath long enough to close it all the way, and she couldn\u2019t lie on a different bench to do it because he\u2019d trap her again. He arose from the altar and approached her. She was vaguely gratified to note that he was breathing as hard and fast as she was.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis is insane,\u201d she murmured, watching him warily with her back pressed into a corner of the pillar behind her, still struggling with her buttons. He stopped when he was within an arm\u2019s length and gently brushed her hands aside to button her corset up himself.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI thought this was what you wanted,\u201d he muttered hoarsely. \u201cSuck in.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She somehow managed to do that. \u201cI\u2014\u201d But what could she say? That she was embarrassed at having this sort of intimacy with a stranger, and, moreover, liking it? That she felt more powerful at this moment than she had in her life, like a goddess with the world at her feet? That she wanted him to take her home and keep her forever?<\/p>\n<p>That her purpose was to distract him enough to keep him away from Fen, and therefore, there could never be anything between them because it was all a lie?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI, um, I\u2014\u201d She cleared her throat. \u201cIt was more than I expected, I think.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt wasn\u2019t nearly enough for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know you,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAh, but I wasn\u2019t the one who extended the invitation, was I?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think\u2014 Um\u2014 I think I need to go home.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLet me take you there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That was out of the question. Her nerves couldn\u2019t take much more of this without giving him everything he wanted. Now. Tonight. As he\u2019d demanded.<\/p>\n<p>He was a stranger.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d lied to him.<\/p>\n<p>She did <em>not<\/em> want him to know where she lived.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t think that would be a good idea.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He said nothing for a moment; then, having finished his task with her only vaguely noticing, he drawled, \u201cNot in control now, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She gasped, immediately outraged, but he shut her up with a harsh kiss, taking whatever she had to give and a whole lot of what she hadn\u2019t intended to give him at all. It took a few seconds for her to decide whether to break the kiss or not.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, Giselle pulled away from him with some difficulty and only succeeded because he\u2019d once again underestimated her strength. \u201cI don\u2019t\u2014\u201d She hesitated, already cringing at how it would sound. She cleared her throat again and said it anyway. \u201cI\u2019ve never done this sort of thing before.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His mouth twisted with amused disdain. <em>Lilith<\/em>. She flushed, deeply hurt. Humiliated, confused, pissed off, and still aroused, she bolted out the door.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiselle, wait!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She slipped into a dark nook to take off her shoes. If she could make it out of the gallery without his catching her, she\u2019d be lucky. Whatever of the evening was left, Sebastian was going to have to do his own distraction because she couldn\u2019t take another second of this.<\/p>\n<p>He blew past her nook and she darted out of it the other way, her skirts hiked over her knees, her gun and stocking top clearly visible, headed toward the closest set of stairs.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiselle!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Away. She had to get away from that man, away from that room where she could never go back without memories of being half undressed and so almost <em>taken<\/em> on a Barcelona ottoman in an art museum by a stranger, a stranger who\u2019d sneered at her twice already, a stranger who could\u2019ve forced her.<\/p>\n<p>No, no force necessary. She had a gun she\u2019d completely forgotten about. She could\u2019ve wrapped her legs around his hips with it on and she still wouldn\u2019t have remembered she was wearing it.<\/p>\n<p><em>That<\/em> was a man who\u2019d fuck her the way she wanted and make her beg for more.<\/p>\n<p><em>You\u2019ll get your heart broken a couple of times&#160;\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Feeling very vulnerable, ashamed of what he thought of her, resentful of him and what he made her feel, she ran through the European exhibit, down the second staircase and up the third, sprinted straight through Sculpture Hall, then Kirkwood Hall, dodging bodies as best she could. Her stockinged feet slid on the polished stone floor when she took the ninety-degree turn to the north exit, touching the floor with her fingertips to keep both her speed and her balance. She looked over her shoulder to see him chasing her. She burst out of the art gallery winded and ran halfway down the drive to the limousine. She yanked the door open, gasping, \u201cGo, go. Go, please!\u201d while she scrambled in. She slammed the door on her skirt. <\/p>\n<p>The startled driver had barely started the car when Kenard burst out of the gallery. She kept her eye on him as the car pulled toward him, then turned left around the horseshoe drive. He tried to catch the door handle as the car went past\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHurry!\u201d she begged.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014but he missed.<\/p>\n<p>Perched on her knees in the back seat, she looked out the back window to see him halfway down the drive, bent over, hands on his knees, chest heaving and breath white in the frigid December air, watching her leave.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">14: CONTRIVED IGNORANCE<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptdate\">January 2006<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">JUSTICE PLOPPED DOWN in a seat somewhere in the middle of the lecture hall, opened her notebook and marked through the fifth day of January. With three semesters down, semester number four had begun. She would have to intern somewhere this summer, but for whom, she had not decided. She was studying for the bar exam so she could apply for permission to take it next February instead of next July. That way, she would be prepared to show up to work at the Chouteau County prosecutor\u2019s office immediately after graduation without having to scramble to take the bar exam with everyone else or compete with new grads who couldn\u2019t practice until they\u2019d passed the bar.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c&#160;\u2026&#160;changed my focus and didn\u2019t get a chance to copy the new text list&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Unlike the rest of the class, Justice didn\u2019t have any reason to groan at this news. After her first semester of college, she\u2019d learned never to buy textbooks until she knew what was absolutely necessary to her success in a class and hopefully find bargains on the internet. She had no books to exchange.<\/p>\n<p>Her constitutional law professor droned on and Justice glanced through the list, scanning it to calculate an approximate cost. One particular author\u2019s name caught her attention. She swallowed heavily, blinked, looked again. No, that couldn\u2019t be. He would have told her&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Wouldn\u2019t he?<\/p>\n<p>\u201c&#160;\u2026&#160;Dr. Pope\u2019s constitutional theories more in-depth this semester&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The lecture went on, but Justice barely heard it for the buzzing in her ears and the blurring of the titles in front of her.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c&#160;\u2026&#160;country lawyer up in River Glen, just north of Chouteau City, but died some years ago. One of the greatest legal minds of the twentieth century. Ms McKinley, something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She looked up slowly at her professor as if in a daze. \u201cNo,\u201d she croaked, cleared her throat. \u201cNo, I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But she wasn\u2019t. Deep betrayal cut through her soul. Why had she had to go to law school to find out her grandfather had been such a well-respected scholar?<\/p>\n<p>Snatches of his lectures flitted through her mind. When her professor asked her an obscure question meant to embarrass her for spacing out, she answered it by rote, only vaguely aware of the semi-tense silence her answer had garnered.<\/p>\n<p>Then, \u201cMs McKinley, how did you know that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice panicked, trying to think of an answer that didn\u2019t include <em>because Juell Pope is my grandfather and he drilled this into me in my barn<\/em>. \u201cUm, I\u2014 I don\u2019t know. I, uh\u2014\u201d She cleared her throat. \u201cI happened to have read that for an assignment last semester, is all.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cReally! Stay after class, please. I\u2019d love to talk to you about it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUm. Sure. Okay. Uh, no problem.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her after-class interview with her professor went more smoothly than she had expected, given her state of total shock and her instinct to keep her identity and accomplishments separate from her grandfather\u2019s. The professor seemed impressed with Justice\u2019s answers and requested that she email that particular assignment to her as soon as possible. With a lump in her throat, Justice agreed, although the assignment didn\u2019t exist and it was just another fire to put out, albeit more emergent than the rest.<\/p>\n<p>She did have a marginally related paper she\u2019d written long ago under her grandfather\u2019s direction. He\u2019d decreed it adequate but certainly not up to her capabilities.<\/p>\n<p>It would have to do.<\/p>\n<p>Justice trudged out into the winter air toward the student union. She drew wary glances and whispers as she passed clusters of law students here and there, but no one spoke to her. They saw her. They noticed her. But except for the occasional murmured comment or question in class, no-nonsense discussion in her study groups, they kept their distance.<\/p>\n<p>It was almost as if people were&#160;\u2026 afraid&#160;\u2026 to speak to her, but she had no idea why. Justice wasn\u2019t shy; she spoke in class, but took care not to dominate the discussions. She didn\u2019t sit on the front row and she made sure to make herself as inconspicuously conspicuous as possible. She thought she successfully projected the image of ambitious law student without being completely obnoxious about it.<\/p>\n<p>Mindful of the attention, she clutched her backpack straps more closely in front of her and pretended not to see.<\/p>\n<p>It was not only disconcerting, it was disappointing because it meant she had absolutely no one to talk to. Dr. Cox flew from classes to study groups to the cafeteria and back again before she left campus around three, and she hadn\u2019t been Justice\u2019s TA since the first semester. Justice was completely alone and had been for the entirety of three semesters.<\/p>\n<p>She bowed her head, as much to shelter herself from others\u2019 observation and lack of camaraderie as from the sharp wind. Not for the first time, she wished she could do law school online, where she felt safe, comfortable, confident, where no one could watch her and point at her and whisper about her.<\/p>\n<p>What hurt the most was that she hadn\u2019t had these problems during her undergrad. She didn\u2019t feel suffocated or shunned. Didn\u2019t have to put forward a certain type of image. She hadn\u2019t had any <em>friends<\/em>, but she\u2019d been able to laugh and joke with her classmates, walk to class together and chat, gather for lunch, trade notes and pointers and gripe about instructors, do some tutoring on the side for extra cash.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d been able to ask for help in her humanities classes without feeling stupid because all she had to say was, \u201cI\u2019m an econ major.\u201d She got instant assistance by someone who needed to feel superior. Justice only needed an A, and she very quickly learned how to make her tutor feel like the most brilliant person ever. The tutor got her ego stroked. Justice got her A. They had some good conversation and laughter in between.<\/p>\n<p>Law school, on the other hand&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>She sighed.<\/p>\n<p>She had never seen behavior like Sherry\u2019s before. She\u2019d been home-schooled, and the people in River Glen, especially the guys at the locker and auto parts store, seemed to like her okay. They all got along, laughed and joked, gossiped and snarked. She had no reason to expect bullying in law school, much less be the target of it. It had shaken her up so badly she\u2019d never gotten her social equilibrium back. Was it <em>that<\/em> different from college to grad school for everyone, or was it just her? She didn\u2019t know because she had no one to ask, and no one from her undergrad classes had gone to law school at UMKC.<\/p>\n<p>In lieu of some manner of socializing, then, and to go where she felt appreciated, she\u2019d taken refuge in the internet. She\u2019d found amusement there when her grandfather was alive. Now she lived there.<\/p>\n<p>Once in the warmth of the cafeteria, she fumbled with her burdens in front of the microwave, found a secluded spot after she\u2019d sufficiently nuked her food, opened her laptop, and sent the paper her professor had requested. She dug into her roast Bossy and began to cruise her blogs.<\/p>\n<p>It had only taken three months as a daily blogger at TownSquared for her to come to some national attention, augmented by the two articles she\u2019d published in <em>National Review<\/em>. Because of that exposure, other blog owners had contacted her to request articles here and there, then more regularly. The blogging position at TownSquared overflowed her schedule, but with each new request came an offer of payment and <em>that<\/em> she wouldn\u2019t refuse.<\/p>\n<p>She checked the comments section of a libertarianish blog that leaned a little rightward, where she\u2019d engaged in a back-and-forth with one of her favorite commenters.<\/p>\n<div class=\"tb30\">\n<div class=\"lr12\">\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">hamlet writes:<\/span><br \/>\ndon\u2019t kid yourself that there\u2019s that much daylight between team red and team blue<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">JMcKinley writes:<\/span><br \/>\nhamlet, please. As if I don\u2019t know that.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Going on a year now, arguing with him, snarking back and forth, mocking each other. Half the time he had legitimate issues with what she wrote, challenged her assumptions, threw obscure case law at her and taunted her if it took her more than a couple of hours to throw some back at him.<\/p>\n<p>Lots of lawyers read her blogs and commented in her threads, discussed various things amongst themselves, offering up finer points of their specialties others wouldn\u2019t have any reason to know, so the fact that hamlet was a lawyer wasn\u2019t special.<\/p>\n<p>She enjoyed sitting back and watching them all slug it out in irreverent ways they couldn\u2019t in court. She enjoyed being dogpiled and successfully fighting her way out of it. She loved them for spilling their brains all over her posts and teaching her without realizing they were doing it.<\/p>\n<p>But when it came to politics, he enjoyed skewering her completely, and she always thought about what he said. She was humble enough to admit that occasionally he might be right. She would study that point more in-depth until she decided which one of them was right, and either dug in or moderated her opinion accordingly.<\/p>\n<div class=\"tb30\">\n<div class=\"lr12\">\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">hamlet writes:<\/span><br \/>\nthe only difference between team red and team blue is that they have different rules they want to force people to follow &#8211; your side just has less traction<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">JMcKinley writes:<\/span><br \/>\nAren\u2019t you paying attention? That\u2019s what I\u2019m trying to fix.<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">LoBianco writes:<\/span><br \/>\nAnd you think you\u2019re not a libertarian.<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">Grace O\u2019Malley writes:<\/span><br \/>\nNo such thing as a libertarian woman.<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">hamlet writes:<\/span><br \/>\nshe\u2019s no unicorn, that\u2019s for sure<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">JMcKinley writes:<\/span><br \/>\nI\u2019ll take that as a compliment.<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">hamlet writes:<\/span><br \/>\nand mistress j thinks she can make a difference all by her little lonesome<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">JMcKinley writes:<\/span><br \/>\nI KNOW I can.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>There were several comments either agreeing with her or scoffing at her, some good-naturedly, some not, but she didn\u2019t care about those opinions. She cared about hamlet\u2019s opinion.<\/p>\n<div class=\"tb30\">\n<div class=\"lr12\">\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">hamlet writes:<\/span><br \/>\nyeah, we know, mistress j &#8211; your ego is massive<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>She snorted and chuckled.<\/p>\n<p>That was his name for her, mistress j. She was pretty sure he meant it sexually, but she couldn\u2019t imagine hamlet submitting himself to anyone.<\/p>\n<div class=\"tb30\">\n<div class=\"lr12\">\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">JMcKinley writes:<\/span><br \/>\nAt least I try, which is more than any of you LOLbertarians would do.<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">LoBianco writes:<\/span><br \/>\nAnybody who wants to be elected to any position is a sociopath. We just want to conquer the world so we can leave everyone alone.<\/p>\n<p class=\"emailblog\"><span class=\"calb\">Hayeksplosives writes:<\/span><br \/>\nAND we want gay married couples to be able to defend their marijuana crops with their guns.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Justice laughed outright at that. It didn\u2019t matter how many times somebody said it, it made her laugh.<\/p>\n<p>Hayeksplosives was a demolitions expert with the military who sympathized with Justice because she worked in a male-dominated industry, and they were both women who frequented male-dominated blogs. Grace O\u2019Malley was a feminist who sometimes flashed hot about some men\u2019s cringy view of women and would come out blazing to Justice\u2019s defense if she thought Justice was in over her head. As far as she knew, they were the only women here who regularly participated in conversation.<\/p>\n<p>LoBianco was an acerbic accountant who liked to poke at Justice as much as the rest of the denizens, but hamlet\u2019s comments seemed personal, especially when he dropped the snark and sincerely complimented or encouraged her.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes it seemed these people were the only friends she had.<\/p>\n<p>Discussion continued as she began to write a new article. Her sudden brush with her grandfather\u2019s greatness not an hour ago still rattled her, but on thinking about it, ideas for future blog posts inundated her. Her fingers burned through the keys as she typed, vaguely aware that the din and crush of lunchtime diners was swelling.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c&#160;\u2026&#160;Hilliard\u2019s not teaching in the fall.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice stopped typing immediately, but attempted to disguise the fact that she\u2019d begun to eavesdrop on the conversation behind her.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI heard he\u2019s taking a sabbatical for the next three, four semesters. Something about a huge embezzlement case.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>No kidding.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI needed him for my white-collar crime section.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She felt much better. So what if she couldn\u2019t take his classes. No one else could, either.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNever had him, never will. Don\u2019t like him, don\u2019t like his opinions, don\u2019t like his politics or the way he runs that county up there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou believe all that bullshit?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLook, where there\u2019s smoke there\u2019s fire.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut you don\u2019t know who\u2019s setting the fire and why.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cExplain all the lawyers coming out of that office talking about the mysterious cash that gets passed around.\u201d Justice\u2019s breath caught in her throat. \u201cIf one person calls you an ass, they\u2019re having a bad day. If three people do it, buy a saddle.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d heard the rumors, of course. Of that and other things, but she actively avoided such nonsense because, in her opinion, if he were guilty, he would have been arrested and put in prison. That was the way the system worked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFucking Republicans. The only reason he keeps getting elected is because he murdered that guy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice choked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBullshit <em>again<\/em>. He wasn\u2019t even arrested for that, much less convicted.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s a racket. He\u2019s a racket. One big conspiracy and all the rednecks up there love him for it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo do the women.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s that bad-boy bullshit they like. Leaves us nice guys out in the cold.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice shoved her earbuds in her ears and cranked up the tunes\u2014she didn\u2019t care what\u2014unable to listen to such gossip one minute longer.<\/p>\n<p>There was a <em>reason<\/em> she didn\u2019t google Dr. Hilliard, which was the same reason she\u2019d shredded the pleading after having it all of three days\u2014she felt dirty and on the verge of being a crazy stalker lady.<\/p>\n<p>There was nothing anyone could say that would diminish the impact Knox Hilliard had made on her that day almost a year and a half before, but she didn\u2019t want to take the chance. Plenty enough time to get to know him after she\u2019d acquired the job that would give her daily access to him.<\/p>\n<p>Her email chimed. The professor who had requested the paper her grandfather had thought merely average:<\/p>\n<div class=\"tb30\">\n<div class=\"lr12\">\n<p class=\"left\"><em>Justice, please come to my office at your earliest convenience. I would like you to submit this to the law review.&nbsp;\u2014Dr. Smythe<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Justice gaped, unable to believe the words in front of her, but her attention caught when the diners around her stirred a bit. She looked toward the door to see Giselle Cox walk in\u2014<em>strut<\/em>, more like\u2014with Neal-something, her co-TA, an older law student with whom she ate lunch every day.<\/p>\n<p>Justice wasn\u2019t the best judge of appearance, but it seemed to her that Giselle was&#160;\u2026 average. If that. Curly dark blonde hair usually in a ponytail, light eyes, pale skin, orthodontic-perfect teeth, and today, glasses. Short, compact body dressed in the same sorts of things everyone else wore: faded jeans, heavy yellow sweater, hiking boots. Really the woman was wholly unremarkable to Justice\u2019s eye, except for a mysterious&#160;\u2026 something&#160;\u2026 that made people notice her and defer to her. It wasn\u2019t just her age or level of education, although that contributed to it. No, it was something more nebulous, some sort of intense energy.<\/p>\n<p>Half the people Giselle and Neal passed stared at them openly, but neither noticed as they talked and laughed on their way to get food.<\/p>\n<p>Justice sighed and began to pack up. She\u2019d eaten well, written well, and generally done <em>well<\/em> today, not to mention the fact that she had learned she carried the DNA of \u201cone of the greatest legal minds of the twentieth century.\u201d It might take her a while to get used to the idea, to get over being angry with her grandfather for keeping that from her, but it would help if she knew <em>why<\/em>. He\u2019d never pulled his punches with her, even when it hurt.<\/p>\n<p><em>Occam\u2019s Razor, Iustitia! Think!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She thought. The simplest explanation was that she\u2019d been too young to understand how highly he was regarded, so he hadn\u2019t bothered to tell her. It was possible he was just too modest to say anything. It was possible he may not have known. Why not? Location? Access? He\u2019d been stuck way up in River Glen barely scraping by in a house worse than hers, but he had somehow gotten an IBM 5150 soon after Justice was born and taught himself DOS. He\u2019d skimp on food and gas, heat and hot water in order to have dial-up to get on the bulletin boards.<\/p>\n<p>When he died, he\u2019d had nothing in his accounts, he\u2019d had an outstanding account at River Glen\u2019s microscopic grocery store-slash-gas station, and he\u2019d had to be buried in a pauper\u2019s grave. If he was getting paid royalties, they weren\u2019t much, and the textbooks on the list were very expensive. He was completely connected to the wider world, so how could he have been so out of touch?<\/p>\n<p><em>Hmmmm.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Justice decided to look into that and woe be to the publishing company who\u2019d cheated her beloved grandfather and mentor.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI wouldn\u2019t touch Giselle Cox with my ten-inch pole and I don\u2019t care how cute she is,\u201d came the voice of one of the men behind her, startling her out of her burgeoning battle plans. \u201cShe\u2019d kick my ass.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Illegitimi non carborundum.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou know,\u201d mused his companion, \u201cit\u2019s not like she\u2019s hot or anything, because she\u2019s not, but there\u2019s&#160;\u2026 <em>something<\/em> about her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s the guns. You can\u2019t see \u2019em, but you know she\u2019s got \u2019em.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNaw, that\u2019s not it. Power. It\u2019s like she\u2019s got some&#160;\u2026 I don\u2019t know. Power\u2019s not the right word.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, but I know what you mean and it\u2019s better than anything I could come up with. The way she fights with Hilliard is enough for me to know I don\u2019t want to tangle with her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice watched Giselle across the massive cafeteria, where she sat studying with her friend. Yes, she\u2019d seen how Drs. Cox and Hilliard got along in class, but she\u2019d thought it was just good-natured banter between people of a similar age and education level. Perhaps not.<\/p>\n<p><em>Power.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>How Giselle got it, who gave it to her, why she deserved to have it, Justice didn\u2019t understand, but she wanted to.<\/p>\n<p>She just had to figure out how to get some of it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">15: FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptdate\">March 2006<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisotassos\">meet me @ tassos tonight @930<\/p>\n<p class=\"left\">THE TERSE EMAIL from Bryce\u2019s ex-best friend\u2014the one who\u2019d characterized him so neatly so long ago, the one he hadn\u2019t considered any kind of a friend for over a decade now\u2014danced in his mind\u2019s eye like the unseasonable March snowflakes under the street light in front of him. As he sat in his car in the restaurant\u2019s parking lot, his vision blurred by the sleet collecting on his windshield, he didn\u2019t have to wonder why he\u2019d actually shown up.<\/p>\n<p><em>Giselle.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Naturally, she would have spilled what had happened at the gallery and Knox wanted to stake his claim.<\/p>\n<p>It was 9:39 p.m. and Bryce was still debating whether to go in. The pain of betrayal had lessened with time, distance, and doubt, but had stabbed him again a year and a half ago at Leah\u2019s visitation.<\/p>\n<p>He braved the wind and ice to enter the restaurant, his collar up and his scarf around his face. He didn\u2019t care to be seen with the Chouteau County prosecutor, but this was a good place to meet: dark and neutral. Plus, Bryce loved Greek food, which was probably why Knox had picked it in the first place. Knox would have remembered that. He remembered everything.<\/p>\n<p>Small lanterns on the tables in their private cubbyholes punctuated the dim interior. A floor show of belly dancers was in full swing and the waitstaff yelled enthusiastically back and forth at each other.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHi, Bryce,\u201d said the hostess. \u201cCome with me.\u201d She led him to a dark corner. He didn\u2019t sit.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re late,\u201d Knox snapped, glaring up at him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m always late.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou <em>shit!<\/em> I don\u2019t know what species of thorn is in your paw <em>this<\/em> time, but it\u2019s affecting <em>me<\/em>, so I\u2019m here to pull it out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce hesitated because Knox only got that sarcastic when he was mocking someone for bone-headed assumptions.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell? Sit your ass down and get it off your chest so I can go home because I am not here to make <em>you<\/em> feel better.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Resigned to staying confused for a while, Bryce glanced at the glass of what had to be Mountain Dew and signaled a waitress. \u201cSandra, take this back,\u201d he muttered, swiping it off the table and ignoring Knox\u2019s protests. \u201cFor him, a steak, rare, and salad, bleu cheese. Milk if you have it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBaklava!\u201d Knox demanded.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo baklava. The usual for me with a big bowl of tzatziki. Coke. Water. Lots of it. Please.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThank you, Mother,\u201d Knox said snidely once she\u2019d left.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce ignored that and slid into the seat across from Knox. \u201cAs it happens, <em>you<\/em> are the thorn in my paw, and I don\u2019t need you slipping into a coma before you answer all my questions.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t owe you <em>anything<\/em>, because I haven\u2019t done anything to be the thorn in your paw, and I certainly did not do that cunt you married, which you know and always have.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s jaw worked in thought and he stared at the tabletop, suddenly realizing this wasn\u2019t just about Giselle. Why had he thought it would be?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt was easier for you to blame me than your own shitty judgment in women\u2014 especially considering the fact that I hated her and I specifically told you not to marry her. And on top of all that, she was a blonde and skinny as a rail.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI&#160;\u2026 didn\u2019t want to <em>dis<\/em>believe her and&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d Bryce admitted reluctantly.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s a helluva way to split that hair! Do you actually know how many other men she was sleeping with?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe didn\u2019t like sex.\u201d Knox looked suddenly confused, and Bryce took a deep breath. \u201cShe got involved with men who would submit and craved punishment.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox started to laugh. \u201cI knew it!\u201d he crowed. \u201cIf I could\u2019ve proven it to you, would you\u2019ve listened to me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce looked off toward the belly dancers without seeing anything at all. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t have understood,\u201d he muttered bitterly. \u201cAnd I was too invested in maintaining my virtue to be willing to sit through an explanation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox grunted. \u201cVirtue\u2019s overrated. And so&#160;\u2026&#160;? I mean, you had four kids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know which ones are mine. Emme, probably. Luke and Andrea, I don\u2019t know. Randy, definitely not. Every time she <em>did<\/em> want to have sex, she turned up pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox\u2019s mouth flattened, but he clearly wasn\u2019t shocked. \u201cThat didn\u2019t bother you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce scowled. \u201cOf course it did, but what was I supposed to do? Track down their fathers, hand them over, and walk away? I could\u2019ve, yeah, but they were innocent and I thought I could give them a better life. I regarded them as children I chose to adopt, so as long as they called me Daddy, snuggled up to me, and ran to me for protection, I could love them. Turns out, they <em>didn\u2019t<\/em> have a better life with me, then they burned to death.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox sighed heavily. \u201cSorry, pal. That bites.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>They sat in companionable silence for a long while, their friendship having begun in college and never really ending except for Bryce\u2019s determination to be angry with him for something he hadn\u2019t done. And, as he always had, he promptly forgave.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou and Taight are related to Giselle,\u201d Bryce finally said.<\/p>\n<p>Knox barked a laugh. \u201cIt\u2019s the eyes, right?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m going to assume,\u201d Bryce said wearily, rubbing his forehead, \u201cfor the sake of my own sanity, that neither of you is her brother.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCousin,\u201d he confirmed with alacrity. \u201cBut why do you care and what\u2019s your sanity got to do with anything?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Again Bryce hesitated. Knox didn\u2019t mean to tell Bryce to back off? \u201cLeah\u2019s visitation. I overheard you ask her to go home with you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox\u2019s jaw hit the table. \u201cYou know,\u201d he gritted once he collected himself, \u201cyou\u2019ve always been stupid about women, whereas I am not. First of all, if you were eavesdropping, you deserve what you hear. Second of all, if you\u2019re going to eavesdrop, you could have the courtesy to stick around for the whole conversation. Third, didn\u2019t you learn your lesson about believing the worst about me the first time I was accused of banging a woman you thought belonged to you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He threw his napkin on the table and started to rise. \u201cYou know what? Fuck you. I\u2019m tired of being the one getting the shaft when a woman\u2019s got you in knots.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSiddown,\u201d Bryce growled. He wasn\u2019t surprised when Knox glared at him expectantly. It was a familiar exchange. \u201cSorry,\u201d he mumbled. \u201cAgain.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It took a moment before Knox settled back into his seat. \u201cYeah, I asked her to go home with me,\u201d he said, his voice unusually raspy. \u201cDon\u2019t tell me you\u2019ve never needed to hold on to somebody when your life\u2019s been ripped out from under your feet. But I forgot,\u201d he continued cruelly. \u201c<em>You<\/em> don\u2019t have anybody like that. You\u2019ve <em>never<\/em> had anybody like that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s jaw clenched.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe said no. Actually, she damn near bashed my head in for asking, which is a good thing because that would have been an epic mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBecause she\u2019s your cousin.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox squinted at him. \u201cCall one of your expert geneticists. See what he says.\u201d He didn\u2019t make claims he couldn\u2019t back up, but Bryce made a note to do just that. \u201cWell, this is fucking hilarious. You showed up to get me out of your way so you can sleep with Giselle.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t want to sleep with her,\u201d Bryce found himself replying. Knox\u2019s expression went from smug to confused. \u201cI wanna <em>fuck<\/em> her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox gaped at him and Bryce thoroughly enjoyed his shock. Finally, Knox waved a hand and said, \u201cConsider me never having been in your way. Happy now?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ve never been happy,\u201d Bryce shot back.<\/p>\n<p>Knox stared at him for a few seconds, then murmured, \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>One moment of pity was bad enough. Two was\u2014 \u201cWhat, no \u2018I told you so\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox gestured at Bryce\u2019s face. \u201cI don\u2019t need to.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Conversation didn\u2019t resume until after their food arrived. Knox\u2019s grumpy mood improved markedly once he got some protein in him and the sugar wore off. It\u2019d always been that way, and now they were just taking up where they left off twelve years ago.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBefore Giselle,\u201d Bryce finally said, \u201cI want to know about Leah.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>I<\/em> didn\u2019t kill her, if that\u2019s what you\u2019re thinking.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI never thought you did.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox\u2019s fork stopped halfway to his mouth. \u201cYou didn\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNoooooo,\u201d Bryce said, puzzled. \u201cFen\u2019s the only likely candidate.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat do you know?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t <em>know<\/em> anything,\u201d Bryce returned, irritated. \u201cYou\u2019ve got no reason to kill her. He\u2019s got every reason in the world. I don\u2019t know <em>anyone<\/em> who thinks you killed her. Your problem is your track record and his lack of one. Optics.\u201d After a minute, he gestured at Knox with his fork. \u201cI\u2019m listening.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He took a deep breath. \u201cBackstory. Fen killed my father. Insulin overdose. Obviously looks like natural causes for a diabetic with heart disease.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s eyebrow rose.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRemember I told you my mom kicked me out of the house when I was fifteen because I accused her of having an affair with Fen? And I went to live with my aunt and cousin?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce nodded, recalling his shock at finding out his roommate was the heir to a fortune and how that had come about\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiselle was the cousin. The proviso\u2019s dated just about a week after Trudy kicked me out, and then my dad died the week after that. I tell you what. That thing\u2019s been the bane of my existence, stuck in professional limbo, marking time, never feeling like I had a place in life until I turned forty. And when you\u2019re fifteen, forty-year-olds are on their deathbeds.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2014and all the sleepless nights when the nineteen-year-old heir had paced their dorm room trying to figure out how to pass the next twenty years or how to weasel out of the course his uncle had set for him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat was your father thinking?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox sighed. \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo&#160;\u2026 how do you <em>know<\/em> this and why haven\u2019t you had him investigated?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, \u2019bout six years ago, Giselle and I were over at the estate clearing out my childhood. My mother was out of town. Fen didn\u2019t know we were there. We went to his library to ask him something and overheard him confessing to his bishop in a very roundabout and non-incriminating way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo this war is a relatively recent development.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox nodded.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid you confront him?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYep. All but dared me to prove it, so I tried. Short of exhuming my father\u2014and insulin is a perfect weapon, so I haven\u2019t bothered\u2014I can\u2019t find anything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy hasn\u2019t he come after you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe likes me and he\u2019d rather not kill me. First, I\u2019m the heir. Besides the fact that it looks bad, he\u2019ll know I have a dead man\u2019s switch and that I keep the FBI\u2019s attention for a reason. Second, with my <em>track record<\/em>\u2014\u201d Bryce smirked. \u201c\u2014he\u2019s not sure I wouldn\u2019t murder him. Fen doesn\u2019t have the balls to come after me, vicariously or otherwise. Third, he\u2019s squeamish and he has a tendency toward half-assed contrition. He won\u2019t dirty his own hands, and he\u2019ll kinda-sorta confess to the bishop and leave the church, but he won\u2019t give any of it up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWait a minute. I thought he was training you to be able to take over when you turned forty. Didn\u2019t he tell you he wasn\u2019t going to let you be a trust-fund frat boy and you were going to work?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSomewhere in there he decided he didn\u2019t want to let it go. And you know what? I don\u2019t blame him. My dad had a little machine shop that grew beyond his managerial capabilities, so he hired Fen. Fen was the one who turned it into a billion-dollar corporation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDidn\u2019t he take your trust away from you when you decided not to work for him and took the job with Chouteau County instead?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe never wanted me to work for him. He wanted me to get some job experience in a different corporate environment, different managers, different positions, finance, legal, work my way up. Apply like anybody else. No favors, no string pulling, no nepotism. You know. Pay my dues. I didn\u2019t have a problem with that, and he didn\u2019t care until he found out Claude Nocek\u2014the Chouteau County prosecutor at the time\u2014was courting me. <em>Then<\/em> he hit the roof.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI thought he was straight-up lying to me, telling me shit out of some southern gothic crooked-sheriff movie. But I was young and dumb. Flattered. Took the bait. Fen cut me off because he knew every dime I had access to would somehow end up in Nocek\u2019s bank account. I was pissed at first, but once I got in there and saw he hadn\u2019t been exaggerating, I was <em>really<\/em> glad. It gave me an iron-clad out, but you better believe Nocek made me pay for it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce could remember how tense Knox had grown, how closed-mouthed he\u2019d been about his new job and boss. \u201cThat bad, eh?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWorse. The sheriff\u2019s office was Nocek\u2019s personal thug patrol and they were running a protection racket, which Nocek got a cut of. He ran unstamped cigarettes, moonshine, and marijuana. M&amp;Ms, he called it. Every drug you can think of. Prostitution. Guns. The works. He also made money fixing cases, taking bribes. People he didn\u2019t like\u2014 He\u2019d have them hassled and arrested for no reason, held without bail, generally made their lives miserable.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe whole thing blew my mind. Na\u00efve, sheltered Mormon kid straight out of law school thinking people like this are rare to nonexistent, but here I am <em>seeing<\/em> it. <em>Everywhere<\/em>. It was <em>real<\/em>, pervasive, and so cold. I was about ready to quit when Nocek told me I\u2019d be expected to contribute to the widow\u2019n\u2019orphan fund. Man, I was fucking <em>done<\/em>. Gave notice. He laughed and informed me I wouldn\u2019t make it past the county line if I tried to leave. He put his lit cigar right through the middle of my resignation, watched the whole thing burn, then backed it up by having a couple of deputies escort me back to my desk.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo I bided my time \u2019til I could figure out what to do, cut my teeth on the hardest cases they could foist off on me, and found out I really liked the job. Sure, Nocek was dirty, but <em>I<\/em> could do <em>my<\/em> part to make things a little more fair for people. There were other attorneys who weren\u2019t on the take, but only one was subtle enough that Nocek didn\u2019t notice. I latched on to him, but I wasn\u2019t very successful at hiding my winning streak and Nocek rode my ass constantly to bring money into the office.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019d gotten used to the way the office ran by that time and did my best to dodge Nocek, and I didn\u2019t think anybody could be more evil than he was, but then I caught the Parley case.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He stopped, picked at his food a little, his jaw clenched. Bryce said nothing because he\u2019d been in the gallery for bits of Knox\u2019s argument and had seen only a few of the horrific pictures Knox had been looking at for over a year.<\/p>\n<p>Knox finally managed to gather himself. \u201cSo, after I was <em>alleged<\/em> to have murdered Parley and <em>that<\/em> circus died down, Nocek was happy I\u2019d gilded his lily and left me alone for another couple of months. But it didn\u2019t take long before he started dropping names of other people he thought needed a dose of lead poisoning. Getting through his to-do list would get me off the hook for the money, but what a choice, right? My time had run out and my back was to the wall. It was either kill or be killed, and I wasn\u2019t keen on either. So I forced him to resign and name me as his successor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd the untouchable Knox Hilliard was born, all with the tacit approval of the federal prosecutor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMmmm, when a prosecutor turns vigilante\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTwice.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u2014you get the undying loyalty of every cop in the state. I couldn\u2019t get rid of the sheriff himself, elected position, too many good ol\u2019 boys, but I could call in the state troopers to clean out the department. That made the governor get off my back, and Fen released my trust to me with a big grin and a slap on the back.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo two wrongs really do make a right.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox chuckled. \u201cYeah, I guess so.\u201d He took a bite. \u201cThing is, I\u2019m happy with what I do. I\u2019m not cut out to be a CEO of anything, and I don\u2019t even manage my own staff; my executive AP does that. I don\u2019t know how I got anything done before he came to work for me. I\u2019m just a redneck lawyer in a backwater of a county that\u2019s still a cesspool. And I like it that way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cA redneck lawyer who teaches law classes and writes textbooks.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEverybody needs a hobby.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce chuckled.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe stupid thing is, if Fen had asked me if I wanted OKH before I found out he killed my dad, I\u2019d have sent him an invoice for a few million dollars and that\u2019d be that. Now I\u2019m stuck in limbo again, between the terms of the proviso and Sebastian\u2019s hostile takeover. I can\u2019t have any kind of relationship before I\u2019m forty because Fen\u2019s going to go after whoever I\u2019m with. Sebastian\u2019s getting blocked at every turn so his takeover\u2019s stalling out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThen just wait until you\u2019re forty.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHa! <em>You<\/em> might be used to being alone and celibate, but <em>I<\/em> am not.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce had no idea what to say. It\u2019d been twelve years since they\u2019d talked. So much had happened to both of them, so much about each of them had changed that Bryce had the vague sensation of starting over as freshmen roomies with a common culture meeting for the first time.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI want the same thing I\u2019ve wanted since I was nineteen years old. Wife, family. Can\u2019t do that while my uncle\u2019s killing off all my women.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere\u2019ve been others?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNot since Leah, no,\u201d Knox grumbled and went back to his meal. \u201cBut Fen believes Giselle is my trump card, so he\u2019s been trying to get rid of her in case she and I get married at the eleventh hour and have a kid waiting in the wings somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce stared at Knox for a few seconds, trying to work through that. \u201c\u2018Get <em>rid<\/em> of her\u2019?\u201d he asked carefully.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe\u2019s tried to kill her twice.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUh&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes. Really. The first time, he had her bookstore burned down. She got out with her purse, phone, and laptop, but that was only because she couldn\u2019t sleep that night.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s heart stopped at the word \u201cburned,\u201d the memory of his nine-year-old daughter dropping through the floor into an inferno screaming <em>Daddy!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Knox looked up then. \u201cOh, <em>dude<\/em>. I\u2019m sorry. I didn\u2019t think.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce shook his head to clear it. \u201cI\u2014 It\u2019s an agonizing way to die,\u201d he croaked. He knew Knox was watching him carefully, but he didn\u2019t care. Of all the people in the world he could trust to see his weakness, it was Knox. Bryce didn\u2019t speak again until he had recovered himself. That took a while. \u201cGo on.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou okay? You\u2019re white as a sheet.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce cleared his throat. \u201cFine. Thanks. Giselle\u2019s bookstore burned down and&#160;\u2026&#160;?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>After a long suspicious look, Knox decided to go with it. \u201cThen Fen sent two thugs after her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat explains the bullet hole.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHoles. They had to dig the other one out of her hip. That one didn\u2019t hit anything vital, but her shoulder\u2019s messed up.\u201d He paused. \u201cStill, she\u2019s alive and they aren\u2019t. I will never forget that night. Two of \u2019em came charging across the street at her, and she nailed \u2019em both before they could aim right. One gun in each hand. No hesitation, no remorse.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was just so&#160;\u2026 <em>wrong<\/em>&#160;\u2026 that Bryce found that arousing.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThen Fen had Leah killed,\u201d Knox said low. Bryce could hear the grief in his voice and his own grief started to seep back in. \u201cGiselle put a gun to his head, told him if he pulled any more stunts like that, she\u2019d kill him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The gun strapped around her thigh under a cocktail dress. The bulge pressing against his thigh through the thick layers of her evening gown.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce didn\u2019t know what to do, what to think.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know if he\u2019s willing to test the limits of Giselle\u2019s patience, but I wouldn\u2019t put it past him to try if he manages to cozy up to her again.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s brow wrinkled in question.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiselle is to Fen as a queen bee mean girl is to her bitchy gay best friend,\u201d Knox said blithely. \u201cThey amuse the hell out of each other. Did. Used to. They\u2019d sit around and snark at each other and everybody else, playing off each other like two insult comics at a roast, and they were hilarious when they got rolling, but\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd he tried to <em>assassinate<\/em> her?\u201d Bryce demanded.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s not personal,\u201d Knox clarified. \u201cIt\u2019s business. She\u2019s a convenient way for me to fulfill the terms of the proviso, and he\u2019s trying to close down all avenues. And this is why I\u2019m sleeping alone, which I loathe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was so odd to hear Knox speak this way. The Knox he knew from college and law school was a good Mormon kid in control of his sex drive with an iron will to keep himself chaste until marriage. This one&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou became Don Juan all of a sudden,\u201d Bryce grumbled, envious Knox had been able to turn that corner so easily.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou cannot half-ass sin, my friend,\u201d Knox said archly.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce barked a surprised laugh and then Knox joined in. It was good to laugh with an old friend, the way they had when they were in college, hanging out, studying, going to church, shooting the breeze after shooting the curls.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m not,\u201d Knox finally said amiably. \u201cDon Juan, I mean. I haven\u2019t slept with that many women and sex isn\u2019t as important to me as companionship with a woman I love. It\u2019s the icing on the cake, but I made sure I was <em>damned<\/em> good icing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The two of them ate and reminisced, settling into the rhythm of the friendship of young men. It occurred to Bryce that he didn\u2019t have any really good friends. He\u2019d been trudging through life alone since he awoke from his coma and preferred it that way, but the realization of exactly <em>how<\/em> alone he was nipped at the edges of his consciousness, made him uneasy. He was enjoying this unexpected moment of camaraderie with the only person he\u2019d ever really trusted.<\/p>\n<p>It was only after Bryce was fully relaxed did he feel ready to continue the real conversation.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI understood that Leah didn\u2019t want to get married,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRight. She didn\u2019t want her daughter to have squatter\u2019s rights to OKH, and I didn\u2019t either, so we were on the same page.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy the change of heart?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTo keep Fen off Giselle\u2019s back. Leah was postmenopausal and Fen didn\u2019t know she had a daughter. Giselle was more of a threat because she\u2019s of childbearing age and has a long history of doing things specifically designed to tell Fen to go fuck himself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce snorted.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI, being more than a little pissed off he killed my dad, have a huge motive to tell Fen to go fuck himself. It would be perfectly in character for us to pull the rug out from under him like that, so unless one of us married someone else, he\u2019d never believe we wouldn\u2019t. I wanted a quiet wedding so Fen wouldn\u2019t find out about Rachel before we got it done, but Leah\u2019s first wedding was as shitty as her husband was, and I couldn\u2019t do that to her again. Then the financial press got hold of our wedding plans, went digging, found Rachel, blasted it to the world, so now the target was on her back.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce sighed. Leah had lived her life as a sacrificial lamb, and died as one.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI hired a driver and bodyguards. Giselle went with her anywhere they couldn\u2019t go. Wedding comes. Leah\u2019s getting ready. Half hour to show time. Giselle\u2019s so nervous she\u2019s radioactive, which pisses Leah off. Big blowup between them. Leah tells me to make her go away. Heavy security. Fifteen minutes. What can possibly go wrong? Stupid shit that I am, I decide Leah should have her way on her wedding day.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs that why Giselle was so mad at the funeral?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat, and a shitload of guilt for doing what I told her to do, especially since two other bodyguards agreed with her. I should have trusted her instincts, but I didn\u2019t want to upset Leah. If Giselle had been with her&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d He trailed off, shaking his head. When he spoke again, his voice was a bare croak. \u201cFifteen minutes. That was the <em>only<\/em> time in over a year she was <em>ever<\/em> alone. And it\u2019s my fault. All my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He reached for a napkin and blew his nose.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell,\u201d Bryce drawled, \u201cwho can blame a guy for taking his wife\u2019s side over everybody else\u2019s? That\u2019s what good men do, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox stiffened. \u201cAll right,\u201d he snarled. \u201cYou made your point.\u201d It took a while before he could collect himself. \u201cSo here we are, a year and a half later, and my plan to remain unattached isn\u2019t working out very well, particularly since I somehow moved from the May end of the dating pool to the December end.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce was immediately confused. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox didn\u2019t say anything for a while. \u201cI met somebody,\u201d he said low. \u201cShe\u2019s twenty-three.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUh&#160;\u2026 that\u2019s&#160;\u2026 not you. What\u2019s so special about her that you\u2019d go from cougar to Lolita? Can\u2019t find anybody your own age who\u2019ll put up with you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He ignored that. \u201cYou ever heard the name Justice McKinley?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRising conservatarianish blogger. Amateur economist, still in law school. Getting a lot of heat from the conservative press because she <em>says<\/em> she\u2019s a conservative, but holds some standard liberal views that she can make good conservative cases for. I was subbing for a friend for one class period and there she was right in front of me, stars in her eyes, lust on her sleeve, spilling her philosophical guts all over my feet, and fuck me if I didn\u2019t love every second of it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHave you\u2014?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, <em>hell<\/em> no! That\u2019s the kind of bullshit my colleagues indulge in, and there is <em>nothing<\/em> attractive about ingenues.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cExcept this one.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDammit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo&#160;\u2026 ?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe idea is, once this semester ends, I won\u2019t teach any more classes until she graduates. After I turn forty, I\u2019ll go find her and hope like hell she\u2019s not attached.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce looked at his phone. \u201cThat\u2019s almost three years from now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know,\u201d he groaned. \u201cMaybe it\u2019ll go away by then.\u201d His forehead dropped on the table with a thunk. \u201cMidlife crisis,\u201d Knox said, his voice muffled. \u201cHas to be. How long do these last?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The only thing Bryce could offer was noises of commiseration because he certainly wasn\u2019t one to scoff at the concept that men of a certain age could snap.<\/p>\n<p>The waitress came by again to clear their plates. He was mildly surprised to see two hours had flown by, yet they were nowhere near finished airing their grievances. \u201cHe can have baklava now. I\u2019ll have two.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox laughed but sat up slowly, as if he were an old man in a creaking body.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll right. Next. Taight and OKH.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNot that much to tell. Standard hostile takeover with the added benefit of being able to personally threaten the CEO with dismemberment of his company. Every last employee, every last nut, bolt, and washer. Sebastian has OKH\u2019s parted-out resale value calculated to within ten bucks.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe wouldn\u2019t. Hundreds of people?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, he wouldn\u2019t,\u201d Knox drawled. \u201cBut he has to think like he will, act like he will, because he doesn\u2019t bluff well if his heart\u2019s not in it, and Fen knows that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s his problem with Fen?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPutting those hits out on Giselle. You fuck around with Sebastian\u2019s sidekick, expect him to hand you your ass in the most painful way possible.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Sidekick<\/em>. Bryce thought back to the odd way Taight and Giselle had interacted at the gallery. In that light, it made perfect sense.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe\u2019s been able to buy enough OKH stock to have a voting bloc that he\u2019s used to shit-can major business decisions. Everybody on Wall Street\u2019s selling OKH short, the SEC is about to cut Sebastian off, and Congress is generally pissy about Sebastian\u2019s inability to keep his mitts off people he doesn\u2019t like. The Department of Justice wants our heads because we pulled a fast one on them after Sebastian took over Jep Industries\u2014that\u2019s Senator Oth\u2019s company\u2014and shut it down immediately.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The baklava arrived and they dug in.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cVery long and tortuous story, but we had about forty-eight hours to protect twelve hundred jobs and the billion-dollar pension fund that went with \u2019em. We didn\u2019t have time to do it by the book, so we smashed all the eggs immediately, then got to work cleaning up the mess. Fen sued us, but we didn\u2019t have time to deal with him, so we got the DoJ to do it so we could fix Jep.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat was Fen\u2019s interest in it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOKH absolutely can<em>not<\/em> function\u2014nor can anybody else in manufacturing\u2014without Jep\u2019s products, so when Sebastian shut it down, <em>everybody<\/em> panicked. Fen was in the best position to take it over under any <em>other<\/em> circumstances, but this was a clusterfuck. We moved some shells around, slapped my cousin Morgan\u2019s name on a Jep rebrand, slid it under Hollander Steelworks\u2019s umbrella, opened it back up. As soon as we could slow down and catch our breaths, we explained it to Fen. He shrugged and went home. It was ugly, but we got it done. One-point-three billion dollars safe and sound, twelve hundred people get a two-week paid vacation, DoJ goes off to hunt down the bad guys.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt had nothing to do with the proviso?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNot at all.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThen why is everybody still butthurt over it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox grimaced. \u201cWeellll, when OKH\u2019s contract with Jep Industries came up for renegotiation, the Hollander of Hollander Steelworks told Fen he wasn\u2019t going to sell him either his steel or Jep\u2019s products.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce stared at Knox, completely confused. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLoyalty to Sebastian. They were mission companions.<sup class='footnote' id='fnref-1353-6'><a href='#fn-1353-6' rel='footnote'>6<\/a><\/sup> They\u2019re tight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce\u2019s jaw ground. \u201c<em>Loyalty<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox hesitated. \u201cYou seem to have learned the wrong lesson about that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe price I paid for my <em>loyalty<\/em>,\u201d Bryce ground out, \u201cto people I was told deserved it was vastly disproportionate to my contribution to the circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox took a bite, but he seemed to be considering his next words. Bryce wondered how he was going to approach it <em>this<\/em> time. Loyalty was a decades-long debate, the topic that had opened philosophical floodgates between strangers thrown into a dorm room by an impartial algorithm.<\/p>\n<p>But there\u2019d been twelve years of silence between them, twelve years of hell for each of them, and they weren\u2019t twenty anymore. Philosophies changed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe lesson,\u201d Knox began with the care of a lawyer striving for utter precision, \u201cis that loyalty is not a unilateral duty. It\u2019s a reciprocal demonstration of love, trust, and respect. You\u2019ve never had anyone who could make you believe you didn\u2019t owe anybody anything just because you exist, <em>or<\/em> that you deserved any love, trust, or respect just because you\u2019re worthy of it, <em>or<\/em> that you deserved reciprocity. As far as I know, only one person has ever tried to get you to believe it, and I\u2019m <em>still<\/em> trying to.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou have a very rare and privileged experience with loyalty,\u201d Bryce shot back, \u201cand you\u2019ve never believed my experience is the common one.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox hesitated. \u201cI do, actually. <em>Now<\/em>,\u201d he qualified. \u201cBut that doesn\u2019t negate what I said.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI am not having this discussion,\u201d Bryce said tightly. \u201cYou were saying?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd so <em>anyway<\/em>,\u201d Knox said pointedly, \u201cI thought Hollander\u2019s move was hilarious. Master-level trolling. But Sebastian was livid. Fen thought Hollander was carrying Sebastian\u2019s water, so he called the DoJ. They started digging in to what we actually did, which they\u2019re not happy about. But Sebastian\u2019s not about to hang Hollander out to dry. Fen\u2019s run for Senate is purely retaliatory. He wants me, Sebastian, Morgan, and Hollander in front of a committee, <em>and<\/em> he wants to get the DoJ more invested in our sleight of hand.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce heaved a weary sigh. \u201cOkay, fine. What\u2019s the plan now?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox paused for a moment as if trying to decide how to articulate it. \u201cFen threw Sebastian for a loop. He doesn\u2019t think politically because he\u2019s never had to, and he\u2019s got the attention span of a hyperactive five-year-old hopped up on sugar. Furthermore, Morgan trashed his reputation, his career, and every relationship he\u2019d ever made to get J.I. folded into the Steelworks. He\u2019s completely persona non grata in D.C., so now he has no power to help, either.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou have ninety-two cousins. Which one\u2019s Morgan?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAshworth.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce thought he\u2019d heard wrong. \u201cUh&#160;\u2026 <em>That<\/em> Morgan Ashworth? Short list for Fed Chair or Treasury Secretary?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI didn\u2019t know you were related to him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe\u2019s always kept his family ties quiet. Didn\u2019t want to be associated with OKH\u2019s drama.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid he know what he was doing when he put his name on New Jep Industries?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox scowled. \u201cOf course, but twelve hundred people were about to lose their jobs and life savings. He may not even have done it for that alone, but the waterfall effect on the <em>global<\/em> economy was massive. <em>Somebody<\/em> had to take that hit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou don\u2019t sound like you feel bad about it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox stared at Bryce with an expression he\u2019d never seen before, part ice-cold rage, part utter conviction of his righteousness, and snarled, \u201cI did my part to rescue defenseless people twelve years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As soon as he realized what Knox meant, Bryce took a deep breath. \u201cPoint taken. Sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>With a clenched jaw, he continued, \u201cWe exhausted every trick, favor, and ally we had to save that pension and keep the production lines open, but we did it. Then Fen announced his run, and we had nothing left in the tank. The only thing we could think of was try to block his fundraising efforts as much as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou need another pair of eyes on it?\u201d Bryce offered, intrigued in spite of himself.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re welcome to play, but we scraped a pretty good plan together. Blocking Fen\u2019s access to money is the first part. Second part: A very quiet PR campaign against Senator Oth that\u2019s gathering steam, implicating him as the real villain at his company. The unions are talking Sebastian and Hollander up as the white knights because they know exactly who saved those jobs. Oth\u2019s backing off, but Fen\u2019s looking more and more like a victim and has gathered enough political allies to slap Sebastian and Hollander down, <em>and<\/em> sponsor anti-dog-eat-dog legislation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf he\u2019s elected.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPart three. We\u2019re putting up the Jackson County prosecutor, Kevin Oakley. He\u2019s building his war chest right now and he\u2019s about to officially announce his magical conversion to Team Red.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce nodded thoughtfully. \u201cThat gets him through a primary, but he\u2019ll never win in a blue county.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe doesn\u2019t have to. His job is to be the wall between us and Congress until after my fortieth birthday when Sebastian\u2019s restored OKH to its former glory, he\u2019s found someone to run it, Hollander\u2019s supplying it again, and Morgan\u2019s off the books. After that, Sebastian can recruit new allies to help him fight any future anti-Taight legislation on his terms instead of trying to do it alone under the Senate\u2019s terms. Nobody can help him while OKH is in the mix, but they <em>can<\/em> contribute to Oakley\u2019s campaign. Then Oakley can go back to Team Blue and try again, and Morgan can try to resurrect his credibility.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce chuckled. \u201cWhat do you mean, he doesn\u2019t think politically? That\u2019s brilliant.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox looked up at him sharply. \u201cThis is Giselle\u2019s brain child.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce stilled, then slowly closed his eyes and sat back, taking a deep breath. He could feel every last drop of blood in his heart and lungs head south. He didn\u2019t bother to keep his reaction from Knox and he figured he deserved it when Knox started to laugh at him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe just gave your IQ a blow job and she\u2019s not even here!\u201d he crowed. \u201c<em>Priceless!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In a previous life, Bryce would have been embarrassed. Not today. He took another deep breath. \u201cAll right. Cross me off the list of people you need to convince to stay away from Fen.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox suddenly grimaced. \u201cYeeeaahh. About that. You got crossed off the list at Fen\u2019s fundraising party. That\u2019s why you\u2019re here wanting to know if Giselle and I are lovers.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It took half a second before rage exploded through Bryce\u2019s head.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, simmer down,\u201d Knox drawled. \u201cI told you J.I. wrung us dry. It was the only idea Sebastian could come up with on short notice. All he knew was he had to keep your money and Fen separated. I didn\u2019t think you\u2019d take a call from me and you\u2019d be suspicious of Sebastian calling out of the blue and we were worried you\u2019d donate to Fen just because you were pissed at me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It had never occurred to him to do that, and the idea that Knox thought he would&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe sent Giselle in to get you the hell away from Fen and fuck your mind. She didn\u2019t know your name and we didn\u2019t know she\u2019d met you before. Sebastian said you followed her like a wolf in heat, and half an hour later, she came flying through the gallery looking like she\u2019d been thoroughly fucked. You ran after her, missed her, and went back in so pissed that you sucker-punched him when he wouldn\u2019t tell you where she went. Since she didn\u2019t shoot you, we figured there was something else going on.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat we <em>do<\/em> know is that something happened between you, what\u2014a year ago?\u2014you kissed her? And she was fidgety for months. We\u2019ve never seen her like that. When she finally got home from the gallery that night, she was a hot mess, and she\u2019s been a hot mess ever since.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce thought about that, thought about how fidgety he\u2019d been after that kiss in the parking lot, the mess he\u2019d been when he\u2019d gotten home from the gallery. Thought about the fact that she wanted him as badly as he wanted her and had from the moment they\u2019d met at Hale\u2019s.<\/p>\n<p>But he needed clarification, because he wasn\u2019t about to assume anything else.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFine. I can buy that you needed a pity fuck at Leah\u2019s visitation and were willing to take what you could get, but what I saw was a lover\u2019s clinch.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox looked at him speculatively and waved his fork, not answering. \u201cI might have turned into Don Juan, but what happened to you? You\u2019re dropping the f-bomb like it\u2019s the word of the day and you took Giselle on and won, which isn\u2019t consistent with the Bryce Kenard I know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce grunted. \u201cI don\u2019t know why you have to ask. Meryl. Then it was the fire. Losing my kids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat can\u2019t be the only thing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He searched his memory, but came up with nothing. \u201cI honestly don\u2019t know. I lost some memories after the fire, but I don\u2019t know if it was the fire or the coma. I think something significant happened early in my marriage.\u201d He shrugged. \u201cThen I read <em>Atlas Shrugged<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox burst out laughing. \u201cOh, damn,\u201d he coughed. \u201cThat\u2019s our family manifesto. If I\u2019d known you\u2019d go that nuts, I\u2019d have shoved it in your hands in college.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI would\u2019ve been horrified. Attracted, but horrified. Now&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d He shrugged. \u201cWhat can I say? You were right.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox, still chuckling, said, \u201cI\u2019m <em>delighted<\/em> that you finally embraced your dark side and picked the right woman.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, and she made sure to let me know she wouldn\u2019t mind being picked. Now explain, and don\u2019t skimp on the details.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe\u2019re only a year and a half apart,\u201d he replied amiably, \u201cand we grew up together under siege from my mother, so we were already emotionally attached by the time I went to live with her. We taught each other to kiss so that when <em>The One<\/em> came along, we\u2019d know what we were doing. Then at BYU, neither of us could get dates, so we went out and did stuff and let people think we were together because it allowed us to pretend we weren\u2019t total losers. We&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d He stopped to think. \u201cWe <em>survive<\/em> together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce suddenly felt as if he were meeting someone he knew nothing about. \u201cWhy weren\u2019t you dating? You did just fine in L.A.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI didn\u2019t go on a mission.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Oh. Right. Knox had always wanted to marry a nice Mormon girl, which was why he\u2019d gone to law school at BYU, in defiance of Fen\u2019s orders to capitalize on his degree in accounting and get an MBA at an Ivy. But nice Mormon girls were scarce on the ground for guys who hadn\u2019t served a mission. It was a marker, a signifier of tribal conformity, a rite of passage for Mormon men. <em>Where\u2019d you serve your mission?<\/em> It was the first thing a girl asked a guy who was interested in her. Although Bryce was married by the time he went to law school, he knew how it worked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd Giselle? She\u2019s gorgeous.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe\u2019s <em>cute<\/em>,\u201d Knox shot back. \u201cAnd back then, she was chubby and her self-esteem was in the tank. You get it? Convenience. Desperation. Call it what you want, but sex is not part of our dynamic. She goes to church, works out, reads stuff I\u2019m pretty sure her bishop would frown upon, and pulls forty-hour work-weeks while going to law school. That\u2019s her life, and there is no way in hell she\u2019s going to waste her virginity on me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce thought he\u2019d been hit in the head with a rock. \u201c<em>Virginity?!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTechnically.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Technically?!<\/em> \u201cAnd she\u2019s how old?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThirty-six next month.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly, Bryce forgot how language worked.<\/p>\n<p>Knox stuck his tongue in his cheek. \u201cShe\u2019s not sexually na\u00efve. She can\u2019t be, with all the shit she reads, and her taste runs to kinky.\u201d He grimaced. \u201cBut for a woman her age with raging hormones, she\u2019s holding out as well as can be expected. She is also very shy, so whatever happened at the gallery with you was completely out of character for her. Sebastian\u2019s tired of her twitching, so he told me to deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>I\u2019ve never done this sort of thing before.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Not only had Bryce not believed her, he\u2019d thrown it back in her face for daring to say it. No wonder she\u2019d looked so horrified. So&#160;\u2026 betrayed. He bowed his head and rubbed his eyebrows as if that would alleviate the weight of his guilt and regret.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAre you done with the church?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The question jolted Bryce out of his thoughts. \u201cUm, maybe,\u201d he muttered absently. \u201cI think so. I don\u2019t fit. I never did.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox said nothing, which meant his opinion on it wouldn\u2019t have changed in twenty years.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAt the gallery,\u201d Bryce began slowly, \u201cshe and I&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d He didn\u2019t know what questions to ask. \u201cShe hasn\u2019t been shy with me,\u201d he said flatly. \u201cFar from it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox shrugged. \u201cShe\u2019s been waiting for someone to sweep her off her feet, and you seem to have hit all her buttons just right.\u201d He waved a hand. \u201cCongratulations.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI hope she\u2019s not expecting a righteous priesthood holder who\u2019ll take her to the temple,\u201d Bryce said snidely as if it made any difference now.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe knew you were a member before she met you. She went in thinking she\u2019d get a nice evening of philosophical discourse with a well-educated but unthreatening male about her age she could relate to on a cultural level. As for good&#160;\u2026 I can\u2019t say. I don\u2019t know what she\u2019d compromise for a relationship with a man who wants her and loves her. You got to her, yeah, but she doesn\u2019t know what to do with you. She\u2019s been using your wealth as an excuse not to have to deal with you, so she may see this as another one.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He wasn\u2019t going back. Not for her, not for anybody. \u201cSo be it,\u201d he said to himself, then looked up at Knox. \u201cWe were all at BYU at the same time?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox nodded. \u201cShe was a junior our first year of law school.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy didn\u2019t I ever meet her?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox abruptly stopped chewing and stared at him for a moment with an expression Bryce couldn\u2019t read, which was rare enough that it made him uncomfortable. \u201cHuh,\u201d he said after another few seconds. \u201cUm&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce scowled. \u201cWhat aren\u2019t you telling me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou were married! Why in hell would I introduce you to her when I knew she would fall for you? That would\u2019ve been cruel, especially when I know you well enough to know you\u2019d have fallen for her too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bryce felt like his chest had been kicked in. All those years of agony, four dead children&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Knox glared at him. \u201cShe\u2019s <em>exactly<\/em> your taste, hard-ass on the outside, submissive on the inside. Brilliant, well educated. Petite, muscular, nice rack. Not nearly as attractive as what you preferred or were used to, but she\u2019s very charming when she wants to be. I may block out a lot of noise, but I know people, especially the ones I love. And oh, look, I was right. Again. Because it\u2019s almost twenty years later and she\u2019s moping around about you and you\u2019re here in a jealous rage over her. You weren\u2019t ready for each other then and it would have been a train wreck. I saved her a broken heart and you a lifetime of guilt and now that the time\u2019s right, you found each other anyway without me sticking my nose in it. You\u2019re welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re the only person in my life who knows me that well,\u201d Bryce grumbled. \u201cI hate that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, what you hate is that you didn\u2019t tell your dad to fuck off, and do what you knew you should\u2019ve done. I just happened to be the\u2014 What\u2019d he call me? \u2018\u2014snot-nosed trust-fund brat with no respect for priesthood authority\u2019 who cared enough to go to bat for you, get in his face, and push you to follow your gut.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That found its mark and Bryce\u2019s mouth tightened with the toxic stew of guilt, regret, and alienation that seemed to crash over him in waves&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>He looked at the tablecloth and fiddled with a fork. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said for the umpteenth time tonight, not knowing how he could really make anything right.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLook,\u201d Knox finally said. \u201cIt\u2019s done, gone, kaput. Ding dong the bitch is dead. What are you going to do about Giselle?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He rubbed the bridge of his nose. \u201cI&#160;\u2026 blew it,\u201d he muttered wearily. \u201cTwice.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t assume that. Whatever you did, which I don\u2019t want to know, it wasn\u2019t enough for her to write you off or she wouldn\u2019t still be brooding. You want her. She wants you. I think you\u2019re perfect for each other. If you have an ounce of common sense and half that much courage, you\u2019ll find a way to get to her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">16: THE ISLAND OF THE DAY BEFORE<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptdate\">May 2006<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">GISELLE WALKED OUT of the law building into the gorgeous May Friday after she\u2019d finished her last final, headed for her car, breathing a sigh of relief. One year left.<\/p>\n<p>She clutched her books to her chest, and as she walked, she wondered how she\u2019d survived the semester. It was irritating enough that she had to listen to people wax poetic about <em>Dr. Hilliard<\/em>\u2019s brilliance and marvel in scandalized whispers about his reputation up in Chouteau County for murder and corruption. Amongst Giselle\u2019s study buddies, the inexplicable hostilities between her and Dr. Dumbass had turned into a running joke. But then&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Like a new word that she\u2019d learned and kept hearing, Bryce Kenard\u2019s name had haunted her all semester. Snatches of overheard conversation here. Classroom examples of clever courtroom strategy there. One professor had gone so far as to make him the subject of an assignment, which had required an unbelievable amount of research.<\/p>\n<p>Before it had come out of Sebastian\u2019s mouth in November, Giselle didn\u2019t remember hearing his name at all. Now she knew almost every professional thing there was to know about the man.<\/p>\n<p>Kenard was practically a god at the UMKC School of Law, a god she\u2019d experienced intimately, a god who wanted her. A god who would take everything she let him have but sneer at her while doing it.<\/p>\n<p>With every mention of his name, every breakdown of his genius, his cunning, his ruthlessness, she felt a dagger slicing through her soul.<\/p>\n<p><em>Giselle&#160;\u2026 Come home with me. Now. Tonight.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She wished she had; she\u2019d have something of him to keep in her heart.<\/p>\n<p>She was glad she hadn\u2019t; she couldn\u2019t bear any more of his contempt.<\/p>\n<p>It had occurred to her (mostly only every other day) to go to his office and explain that she hadn\u2019t wanted to run away from him, to explain why she had shown up at the gallery, apologize for lying to him, rip him apart for assuming bad things about her, then walk out and never think about him again.<\/p>\n<p>That wouldn\u2019t be the end of it, though. At least, not for her.<\/p>\n<p>By the time she\u2019d finished her Bryce Kenard malpractice assignment in late March and had almost grown used to hearing his name wherever she went, her mind started playing tricks on her. She saw him everywhere, usually at the courthouse. Just glimpses of tall and dark, nothing solid. One day she could swear he was trying to catch up with her to speak with her, only to be waylaid by people needing his attention. The next day she\u2019d chastise herself for being such a tween. Why did she think he\u2019d come to her? Why did she hope? She\u2019d run away from him. No man with an IQ point to call his own would pursue a woman after that. No woman with a decent self-esteem would accept his attention after he\u2019d all but called her a whore.<\/p>\n<p>She swallowed the misery collecting in her throat.<\/p>\n<p>The bottom of her world had dropped out and she had no idea why. What was it about him that made her do crazy, risky things she\u2019d never considered doing before? And with a <em>stranger<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>At church, she had learned not to put herself in temptation\u2019s way, so she hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>At karate, she had learned not to put herself in danger\u2019s way, so she hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Then she\u2019d put herself at the mercy of a strange man, with little more information than she\u2019d had the first time she\u2019d kissed him\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u2014except that he knew the rules of engagement for faithful members of the church as well as she did. Clearly he had left the church behind, and she couldn\u2019t say she didn\u2019t want to follow him right out the door and into bed, whether it would reinforce his opinion of her or not.<\/p>\n<p>She was so conflicted, it scared her to death.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFirst rule of karate,\u201d she affirmed to herself as if it would help. \u201cDon\u2019t be stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She reached her car and sagged against it, her eyes closed, to relive that night: his tongue sliding against hers, his mouth on her breasts, his lips surrounding the hole in her shoulder, his voice in her ear\u2014hot, insistent, demanding.<\/p>\n<p><em>Not in control now, are you?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>His sardonic challenges of her power. She could feel her body\u2019s arousal at the thought of how brazen it had been to take him up the stairs and lie under him half naked in a public place\u2014how wonderfully, <em>deliciously<\/em> wicked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>She-SELL!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She gasped and whirled, embarrassed that whoever had said her name <em>right<\/em> could read her mind, see her arousal. The wind whipped her hair across her face, but when she pulled it aside, her eyes widened.<\/p>\n<p>She backed up until she was plastered to her car, although he kept a respectful distance between them and she wasn\u2019t physically afraid of him.<\/p>\n<p>Shame. For his undeserved judgment of her <em>and<\/em> that, instead of simply telling him who she was and explaining the situation, she\u2019d gone ahead with the plan to deceive him. The femme fatale she\u2019d summoned to lure him up the stairs had been incredibly exciting, but it wasn\u2019t her. She\u2019d been so uncomfortable with the act, so aware she\u2019d be destroying any opportunity to have something <em>real<\/em> with him, it couldn\u2019t be anything <em>but<\/em> a big con.<\/p>\n<p>She wasn\u2019t what he thought she was, but she\u2019d certainly acted like it. What else was he supposed to think?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiselle, I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle couldn\u2019t read the expression on his face. A hodgepodge of things flitted across his scarred features that she didn\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2014 I, um\u2014 Please go away,\u201d she blurted. \u201cIt was a mistake. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Don\u2019t cry. Don\u2019t cry don\u2019tcry dontcrydontcry<\/em><\/p>\n<p>He looked at her with that same unreadable expression and spoke carefully. \u201cSorry for what?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Frustrated, mind tangled, she let out a whoosh. \u201cJust\u2014 Everything, okay? I\u2019m sorry I yelled at you, sorry I put a gun to your head, sorry I led you up the stairs and gave you the wrong idea about me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat idea do I have?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>You think I\u2019m a slut.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She gritted her teeth to keep the tears at bay and snapped, \u201cDidn\u2019t anybody ever tell you it was rude to answer a question with a question?\u201d She turned and opened the door, threw her books and her purse across to the passenger seat, and dropped behind the steering wheel.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWait. <em>Please<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He was closer now, a mere yard from her door. She wanted to look at him, but\u2014 \u201cI can\u2019t,\u201d she answered as she started her car and put it in reverse, although she didn\u2019t lift her foot off the clutch enough to actually move. What was she waiting for?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPlease have lunch with me. Talk with me. That\u2019s <em>all<\/em>. Please.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And have him yell at her in the middle of a restaurant? No thanks.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI can\u2019t,\u201d she said again, too ashamed to look at him. \u201cI\u2014 I have plans.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>After that, he caught her when he saw her; not often, usually at the courthouse and apparently only when he had a free moment. He knew where she worked, but now she was interning during business hours. Unless he had her surveilled, he wouldn\u2019t know where else to find her or when.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiselle, please,\u201d he said every time. \u201cOne meal, please. I just want to talk. That\u2019s <em>all<\/em>.\u201d He gradually stopped hiding the plea in his voice and it broke her heart, made her breathless at what she had done to a god.<\/p>\n<p>To herself.<\/p>\n<p>In late June, he found her at the library, standing in the fiction stacks, perusing Umberto Eco. Incredibly intimidated, achingly aroused, still humiliated and hurting more than she thought possible, she finally went on the offense and snapped, \u201cStalking me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His nostrils flared and his eyes blazed. Without saying a word, he turned on a heel and left.<\/p>\n<p>She stepped out into the aisle to watch him walk away, rage in every long stride, in his back, in the shake of his head, in the violent punch of the elevator button. He looked back and glared at her until the elevator arrived, his mouth tight, his jaw clenched, his gaze hard.<\/p>\n<p>Ducking back into the stacks, she put her forehead down on the bookshelf to cry.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">17: RECOVERING BITCH<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptdate\">August 2006<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">\u201cGOOD LUCK,\u201d SAID Miss Logan\u2019s attorney as he squeezed her upper arm lightly, then disappeared through a set of courtroom doors to give her a moment to prepare.<\/p>\n<p>She glanced in a mirror that complemented the d\u00e9cor of the quaint mid-nineteenth century American county courthouse, and sighed at her reflection. Taken as a whole, she was entirely underwhelming. Taken in parts, she was less interesting than that.<\/p>\n<p>Her hair: Dirty-dishwater blonde in a tight French twist.<\/p>\n<p>Her eyes: Brown.<\/p>\n<p>Her face: Plain, although perhaps sporting a little too much makeup.<\/p>\n<p>Her body: Tall, big boned, five feet eleven inches barefoot. She was decidedly less than svelte. Her DD breasts were nicely shaped, but they were still too large. Her belly protruded enough to make her look about nine weeks pregnant, but all her attempts at flattening it failed. Her hips matched her breasts.<\/p>\n<p>Her outfit was utterly ridiculous. She was no Audrey Hepburn or Jackie O., and she didn\u2019t carry classic Chanel well at all. The color, dusty pink, would have washed her out but for her makeup. Sensible low black pumps and badly matched tan nylons did nothing for her feet or calves.<\/p>\n<p>She had crafted every detail of what she saw in the mirror, so her sudden resentment of it irked her. She had done this for twelve years. She had the act down cold.<\/p>\n<p>As she intended, the world took her at face value. She relied on her talent and her comportment to carry her through her workday and to garner the respect she required to do business. Once she got into character each morning, she could rely on her persona to keep her on the cutting edge of her industry.<\/p>\n<p>What she looked like at home, in private, gardening, shopping, traveling, attending new artist debuts or gallery openings\u2014well. She did the best she could with what she had, which, honestly, wasn\u2019t much.<\/p>\n<p>Now she was loitering in the foyer of the Chouteau County courthouse waiting to hear her fate, as decided by the Chouteau County prosecutor.<\/p>\n<p>She turned and gracefully sat on a bench by the courtroom doors, as ladylike as ever. She stared across the foyer to the grand walnut staircase, lost in her thoughts.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMiss Logan?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She turned, startled, and saw the almost ridiculously young underling sent to fetch her. The time had come. She arose from the bench. Slow. Easy. As if she were the most gracious hostess of the most magnificent mansion on Ward Parkway.<\/p>\n<p>She stepped through the door he held and murmured, \u201cThank you,\u201d in her perfectly modulated tone. <em>Thank God<\/em>, no trembles and no squeaks, although her life\u2019s work hung in the balance.<\/p>\n<p>Her heart raced. Her throat was parched. Her stomach was queasy with fear as she took measured steps through the almost-empty courtroom toward the prosecutor and the judge.<\/p>\n<p>Calm and poised as always, she stood by a chair at the defense table, but she didn\u2019t sit. The prosecutor, standing to her right, would normally have seated her, but in this instance, it was her attorney\u2019s duty. He wasn\u2019t paying attention and Eilis squelched a sigh because he should have figured this out by now. When it finally occurred to him to be a gentleman, she nodded her thanks as she sat.<\/p>\n<p>It never failed to surprise men when she refused to pull out her chair. Most had forgotten what a real lady was, if they ever knew in the first place, the etiquette lost to history. She used that to her advantage, without fail and without mercy.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThank you for joining us, Miss Logan,\u201d Judge Wilson began. \u201cLet\u2019s recap for the court reporter, shall we?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>No, let\u2019s not.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>He looked down at the papers in front of him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou are the founder and CEO of Human Resource Prerogatives, an outsourcing payroll and employee benefits administration company.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIn May of 1999, you hired David Webster as chief financial officer. You and he never had any relationship other than work until, on September 11, 2001, you were with him in New York on a business trip. You witnessed the planes crashing into the World Trade Center, and under the stress of that\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Under the stress of that<\/em>?!<\/p>\n<p>She resented the <em>hell<\/em> out of how casually he said that, as if being six blocks from a devastating terrorist attack had been a mere inconvenience for her alone instead of a massacre she and thousands of other people witnessed, then had to navigate amidst chaos, terror, noise, fire, ash so thick it had permanently damaged her lungs, walking for <em>miles<\/em> barefoot, barely making Brooklyn by midnight with raw soles and an aching body, nowhere to sleep, nothing to eat, nothing to drink, no change of clothes, no way to get home, no supplies, coated head to toe in dust, and the memory of seeing a man jump to his death from one of the top floors of the north tower\u2014from <em>exactly<\/em> where she <em>should<\/em> have been that morning.<\/p>\n<p>She had escaped an agonizing death by fifteen minutes.<\/p>\n<p>The trauma was indelible. The survivor\u2019s guilt was almost unbearable.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u2014you married him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The <em>only<\/em> person she\u2019d had to lean on then was David, and while he\u2019d been handy in the immediate crisis, it was an opportunity he couldn\u2019t pass up.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDuring your marriage, he raped and beat you, but his behavior at home was so at odds with his history and behavior at work you became suspicious of him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>He should have won an Oscar.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cThen you realized he had been embezzling from you his entire tenure at your company. You felt the only way you could prove it was to stay in the marriage and gather evidence.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Judge Wilson looked over his spectacles at her. \u201cYou should\u2019ve called the police as soon as you figured it out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Eilis had a bitter history with law enforcement, so calling for help was far from her first instinct. She also hadn\u2019t trusted them to understand the accounting.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe had access to your cash reserves and set up offshore accounts to receive the transfer of your employees\u2019 401(k) funds, which you found out only an hour before all the transactions were to go through. You hacked into your own computer system from a remote location and killed the pension transactions, but he did manage to take your reserves and left your company deeply in debt.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He paused and still she remained silent, impassive.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou realize, of course, any other prosecutor in the metro would\u2019ve charged you as well.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYour Honor,\u201d Knox Hilliard said with a bit of impatience, \u201c<em>she\u2019s<\/em> the victim here. She can\u2019t be blamed and she doesn\u2019t need to be sent to her room to think about what she did or didn\u2019t do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The judge glared at the prosecutor. \u201cOne more crack like that and I\u2019ll send <em>you<\/em> to your room to think about a contempt citation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Hilliard\u2019s cough didn\u2019t quite disguise his laugh.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMiss Logan, Mr. Hilliard has a proposition I hope you\u2019ll be agreeable to.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She had no choice and the implication that she did was insulting, but this proposal was coming from a man she\u2019d learned to trust. During the three years of investigation into David\u2019s embezzlement schemes, hours of testimony prep, and a year-long trial, the prosecutor had never treated her with anything but genuine courtesy, if not downright compassion. She counted him a friend, and she didn\u2019t have any of those.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEilis,\u201d he addressed her then, respectfully and, as always, pronouncing her name correctly: <em>EYE<\/em>-lish. He had used it from the very first, never asking her her preference. Such behavior by any other man would have warranted a cold, ladylike set-down, but not for a man significant to her in ways he would never know. After the stress of her four-year journey with him, his saying her name had become a comfort to her.<\/p>\n<p>Until today.<\/p>\n<p>This was the tone one took to fire an employee as gently as possible.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI would like to propose putting HR Prerogatives in receivership.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Receivership! No, she didn\u2019t like being herded into this, but it <em>might<\/em> give her some protection from her enemies, depending upon whom he appointed as her trustee.<\/p>\n<p>That was a double-edged sword.<\/p>\n<p>He went on. \u201cI think you know me well enough by now to know I\u2019m not out to punish or destroy you.\u201d That was reassuring. \u201cI know what you\u2019ve been through and I regret I wasn\u2019t allowed to present your trauma on 9\/11 to the jury.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Counselor!<\/em>\u201d the judge barked.<\/p>\n<p>That was a direct hit at the judge for disallowing it, and Eilis deeply appreciated Knox\u2019s vehement advocacy for bringing it out\u2014<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou really <em>do<\/em> want a couple of nights in jail, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2014and his willingness to risk a contempt citation for referencing it.<\/p>\n<p>But he ignored the judge and continued. \u201cShould you agree to receivership, your appointed trustee will be Sebastian Taight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She kept her composure\u2014but she fought for it. Her attorney nodded sagely.<\/p>\n<p>King Midas. An eccentric, obscure, unpredictable venture capitalist, corporate raider, and institutional hammer.<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian Taight in charge of her company frightened her. Knox\u2019s motives for choosing his <em>enemy<\/em> to restructure her company terrified her.<\/p>\n<p>Did this mean Knox genuinely cared about her enough to give her the best man for the job in spite of his personal feelings? That <em>would<\/em> be consistent with what she knew of him.<\/p>\n<p>Or did it mean Knox had found out about her connection to OKH Enterprises and really did want to punish her?<\/p>\n<p>Or&#160;\u2026 did it mean Knox and Taight were <em>not<\/em> at war? She didn\u2019t know how that could be, considering Taight was in the process of taking Knox\u2019s inheritance away from him.<\/p>\n<p>But did it matter? The familiar sensation of abandonment trickled through her, because her only friend in the world had turned on her.<\/p>\n<p>No, Knox wasn\u2019t her friend. He never had been and she shouldn\u2019t have succumbed to the <em>illusion<\/em> he was just because she\u2019d needed someone to lean on for a while, someone stronger than she was.<\/p>\n<p>She spoke finally. \u201cIs that the best offer I can expect?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The prosecutor nodded solemnly. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The judge broke into her silence and said, not unkindly, \u201cMr. Taight has never before agreed to be the trustee for a receivership and I\u2019d take it if I were you. You couldn\u2019t be in better hands.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Still silent, Eilis studied the worn tabletop. She finally nodded because she had no choice.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat would be acceptable. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">18: BRASS IN POCKET<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">KING MIDAS WALKED into her building like a medieval marauder, his stride long and arrogant. He had nothing with him: no legal pad, no briefcase, no laptop, no manpurse. With every step, he looked around, taking inventory of <em>her<\/em> company as if it were about to become his.<\/p>\n<p>She hated him for that.<\/p>\n<p>Eilis had never met him, never seen him. No one, woman or man, had ever told her how tall, lean, achingly, heart-<em>stoppingly<\/em> handsome he was. Because she\u2019d only heard the horror stories, she visualized him as an aged Quasimodo with a god complex.<\/p>\n<p>His slightly salted raven hair gleamed and his ice blue eyes shimmered so light against his hair and his suit, she could see them from a distance. He was classic black Irish and made her immediately, unexpectedly, shockingly breathless on first sight.<\/p>\n<p>She hated herself for that.<\/p>\n<p>She still had no idea what to expect, but corralled as she was by the Chouteau County prosecutor, the Midwest\u2019s most notorious financial guru, and the CEO of OKH Enterprises, it didn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n<p>The news reports of the OKH Proviso Instrument were vague enough that no one knew quite how, other than being related, the three players were allied. Monday, she could have drawn no conclusions other than the one everyone drew: Sebastian Taight, Fen Hilliard, and Knox Hilliard were in a three-way war to determine who\u2019d own OKH Enterprises on Knox\u2019s fortieth birthday. Now, after three days of googling, library research, making spreadsheets, and building flow charts to see if she could make a connection, she still didn\u2019t know what to think.<\/p>\n<p>She didn\u2019t want to hate King Midas in the abstract or otherwise. She\u2019d observed the OKH debacle silently from afar ever since the man had begun his hostile takeover. The news of Knox\u2019s engagement meant nothing because his fianc\u00e9e was significantly older than he was and had no children.<\/p>\n<p>But then it came out that she <em>did<\/em> have a child and everyone who had a vested interest in Knox inheriting breathed a sigh of relief. Taight\u2019s takeover became pointless, the stock price went back up, and the manufacturing sector went back to minding its business. The bride\u2019s abduction and murder\u2014<em>on her wedding day, yet!<\/em>\u2014shocked the financial and manufacturing community to its core. The Street rumbled and cracked with theories as to who was behind her murder. Knox had returned to being the wild card, collateral damage unless he could scrounge up some woman brave, desperate, or stupid enough to take those odds, especially with a child in the mix.<\/p>\n<p>Taight\u2019s war on Fen had become <em>important<\/em> to Eilis. She <em>needed<\/em> him to take OKH away from Fen, but now&#160;\u2026 <em>Now<\/em> she was <em>also<\/em> at Taight\u2019s mercy. The irony was too rich to stomach.<\/p>\n<p><em>Scylla, meet Charybdis.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>From where she stood behind the glass wall of her mezzanine office suite, she could look down into the labyrinth of cubicles filled with people whose livelihoods depended on her. For now.<\/p>\n<p>Taight continued up the main aisle alone, unnoticed, although how such a man could go unnoticed was beyond her. If he looked up, he would see her, but he didn\u2019t. His initial inspection over, he stared straight ahead, his long-legged gait eating up the yards between them as if he knew exactly where he was going.<\/p>\n<p>He disappeared beneath her feet, and it wasn\u2019t long before she heard him coming up the stairs twenty yards behind her. She watched his reflection in the glass as he passed through the mezzanine\u2019s lobby, the reception area, into her office suite, and toward her. He stopped beside her, slid his hands in his pockets, and looked down at the patchwork of cubicles without speaking. She was far too aware of his presence, his fragrance, his height, for her peace of mind.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re not a good gambler,\u201d he said after a while, immediately irritating her.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI built this company,\u201d she said, her voice, as always, perfectly modulated. \u201cHow do you suppose I did that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd you lost it. How do you think you did <em>that<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI made one bad hiring decision,\u201d she answered calmly, \u201cbased on an impeccably constructed fraudulent identity and references. Anybody could have made that mistake. Senator Oth did.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRoger Oth,\u201d he returned, \u201cis an idiot and Jep Industries wasn\u2019t a company whose raison d\u2019\u00eatre is hiring the right people. Your mistake is inexcusable.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYet I found my snake, got him out, and saved my company.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd here I am, to finish the job for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI could have done it myself had Mr. Hilliard given me a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMmm hm.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Of course he didn\u2019t believe her. Why would he? He got called into companies all the time whose CEOs thought they could dig themselves out of their holes. But Eilis had pulled herself most of the way out and what remained to be done was the easy stuff, albeit long and tedious. She could see no reason for this receivership, so she found herself angrier with Knox and feeling even more abandoned.<\/p>\n<p>Didn\u2019t he know <em>her<\/em> better than that?<\/p>\n<p>No, Eilis was an <em>excellent<\/em> gambler.<\/p>\n<p>When backed into an emotional corner, however, she invariably zigged when she should have zagged.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBelieve it or not, Knox did you a favor,\u201d Taight added, as if for good measure.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m quite sure you\u2019d both like to think that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He slid a glance at her. \u201cI don\u2019t have to do this, Mrs. Webster. I can find someone else to do it if you\u2019d like.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWould it make any difference?\u201d she asked coolly.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou know better than that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Eilis said nothing. She was struggling to keep her fa\u00e7ade intact because her Inner Bitch was knocking on the inside of her skull, demanding attention.<\/p>\n<p>Eilis had begun her career as hard and ruthlessly as she\u2019d gone through her childhood and adolescence, but as her reputation grew, her enemies used it to sabotage her business deals. Forced to abandon that approach, she had concocted Miss Logan, splendidly, flawlessly ladylike.<\/p>\n<p>She hated it, but it worked exponentially better than she anticipated. The intimidation and discomfort men felt when they expected a termagant but got a quiet society matron who forced them to pay homage to her as a lady never went away. It made her completely unpredictable and kept them permanently off balance.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, yes, it was an effective power play, but it had taken a heavy toll on her over the years, and now Eilis was about to hit the wall. That was always when her mask started slipping, when her Inner Bitch came up for air. She\u2019d been getting louder and louder over the last couple of years, trying to shout over the Chanel and pancake makeup and impeccable manners.<\/p>\n<p>As hammers went, King Midas was one of the best in the country. If he had no ulterior motive, he would do an excellent job with fairness and honesty. If his track record held, she would have her company back sooner than the three years the receivership was slated to run unless he chose to buy her out. He could do anything he wanted with her as long as the bills got paid.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMrs. Webster\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t use that name,\u201d she murmured. \u201cMiss Logan, if you please.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMiss Logan.\u201d He complied so easily. Why did that irritate her? \u201cShall we get started?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">19: ID<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">MISS LOGAN\u2019S CHILLINESS annoyed the hell out of Sebastian, but he hadn\u2019t expected anything less. Being considered a villain on first sight was so common as to be a clich\u00e9. The frigid beginning of this relationship was mild compared to the rest, and she had more reason than anyone else in the world to hate him. It wasn\u2019t as if <em>she<\/em> had called him to come rescue her, and she was right about Senator Oth falling prey to his CFO.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, Oth hadn\u2019t married his CFO, either.<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian had walked in irritated about being here. Now he was unreasonably aggravated because he\u2019d taken one look at the CEO and wanted to drag her off to bed.<\/p>\n<p>Her clothes, shoes, and makeup were a complete caricature, but he was gifted at seeing through costumes. She couldn\u2019t hide that aristocratically sculpted face, the nose that had been badly broken and never set straight, high cheekbones, fine forehead, and strong but not masculine jaw. Her mouth was full, although she wore a color of lipstick designed to hide that fact. She was wearing brown contact lenses\u2014why?\u2014and there was something under all that foundation that looked like a thin, vertical scar running from her above her right eyebrow down to the middle of her jaw edge.<\/p>\n<p>And her body\u2014 The badly fitting Chanel emphasized her breasts and hips, but in a way she intended to be unflattering. Her legs were long and strong, her sensible low-heeled pumps also designed to show them at their worst. Sebastian didn\u2019t fall for optical illusions, and he could see exactly what was under her costume. She was tall and lush, a fertility goddess, a Viking queen.<\/p>\n<p>She was <em>perfect<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>Damn<\/em> Knox for badgering him into being this woman\u2019s trustee, and damn that judge for being such a good friend to Knox that he\u2019d ordered it. In Sebastian\u2019s opinion, his relationship to Knox made this whole thing one big fat conflict of interest, and if he thought he had a chance with Miss Logan any other way, he\u2019d tell Knox to find someone else.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf it makes you feel any better,\u201d he heard himself saying as, together, they moved away from the glass toward her private office, \u201cI don\u2019t want to be here any more than you want me to be. I have better things to do with my time than rescue a company that doesn\u2019t interest me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stifling a sigh, he went through her office to <em>her<\/em> desk, sat in <em>her<\/em> chair, in front of <em>her<\/em> computer, to gain access to <em>her<\/em> company\u2019s records. He did this every time he went into a company, to establish who was in charge without having to say a word.<\/p>\n<p>He was surprised when she spoke again, her voice still measured, her pitch and cadence perfectly crafted. \u201cI\u2019m curious, Mr. Taight. If this is such a burden to you, why did you accept?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He grunted. \u201cKnox flexed his muscles.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She showed no emotion at that and, unsatisfied that she hadn\u2019t cracked, he started clicking through her folders. He made note of spreadsheets and databases, mentally mapping out matrices and indices to begin his work, all too aware she stood only two feet from him, watching. Silent, relaxed. With dignity. Smelling of a generic soap.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d never before been a trustee for a company in receivership, but he had hauled enough companies out of bankruptcy by a breath to know what he needed to do and what to look for without preparation, and he\u2019d already gone through this with Jep Industries.<\/p>\n<p>Unlike J.I., though, Eilis Logan\u2019s company was very well positioned for salvation. It surprised him that Knox hadn\u2019t talked to her before putting her in receivership and Sebastian was curious as to why. He probably had other, more sinister ulterior motives, which he would find out eventually because Knox <em>never<\/em> did things the easy way.<\/p>\n<p>He happened across a file of digitized documents that hadn\u2019t been in the paperwork he\u2019d received and saw at least one reason why Knox had told him to do this, which was uncharacteristically thoughtful.<\/p>\n<p>He sent a text:&#160;&#160;<span class=\"calb\">FOUND THE ART THX<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u201cMr. Taight\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSebastian, please.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMr. Taight,\u201d she went on in that passionless, ladylike quasi-monotone that grated on his nerves. \u201cIt appears you won\u2019t need me here while you do your work, in which case, I would like to take a vacation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian stilled and looked up at her, seizing the opportunity to get an eyeful. Unlike all the women Sebastian had found attractive enough to approach at society or business functions, Miss Logan wasn\u2019t afraid of him. She looked him straight in the eye, unintimidated by his cold detachment.<\/p>\n<p>She hadn\u2019t requested a vacation. She\u2019d told him to go fuck himself.<\/p>\n<p>He would rather <em>she<\/em> fuck him, but he\u2019d learned through the years that he couldn\u2019t seduce any woman when he was thinking in dollar signs. Unless a woman was thoroughly entranced by a discussion of the inflation-proof bond, nothing would happen while he was in a suit.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d tried that. It had gone very badly\u2014several times.<\/p>\n<p>With every minute that ticked by, his odds of getting a date with Miss Logan plummeted, and he\u2019d only been here fifteen minutes.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI would prefer you stay involved in the process, Miss Logan,\u201d he said slowly, not really sure how to deal with the request itself, because no one he\u2019d worked with had ever made such an outrageous one before. \u201cYour employees will need you here to give them confidence, and you might learn something you could use in the future. I\u2019ll also need your input and assistance with things I can\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI have a phone and an excellent memory,\u201d she said levelly.<\/p>\n<p>He didn\u2019t know if that was a bluff or not, which irritated him further. \u201cOkay,\u201d he said flatly, \u201cif that\u2019s how you want to play it, the answer\u2019s no. I\u2019m not going to let you walk off the field just because I\u2019m the one quarterbacking now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMr. Taight,\u201d she said patiently, folding her hands in front of her as if she were his kindergarten teacher and he needed simple words, \u201cI\u2019ve been kicked off the team. The team I own. And replaced by ringers. Ringers I don\u2019t need.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He stared at her, his aggravation turning to anger. <em>This<\/em> was not normal. Whether they liked it or not, his clients listened to him because they\u2019d hired him to tell them what to do. Eilis&#160;\u2026 had a point.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo,\u201d he snapped. \u201cIf this is going to be a problem for you, take it up with Knox. And don\u2019t even <em>think<\/em> about calling in sick.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That got a reaction. Her nostrils flared a tad and her jaw clenched only the slightest bit.<\/p>\n<p>Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOne of the things I\u2019m going to do,\u201d he continued in a heartless tone that should tell her his patience had run out, \u201cis sell off every piece of art this corporation owns. I\u2019m requesting, nicely, that you hand them over so that I can start building your cash reserves. Your collection is worth millions of dollars, which will be a good head start.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her silent stoicism told him everything he needed to know. She had expected this; she had probably thought of doing that herself and hadn\u2019t been able to bring herself to. The vacation was probably to avoid watching her art being sold out from under her.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf you had done that six months ago, I wouldn\u2019t be here,\u201d he said, now thoroughly pissed off that she hadn\u2019t blinked an eye. Taunting a client was uncharacteristic for him and he didn\u2019t like the fact that he wanted to get a reaction from her so badly that he was willing to shove her face in it. \u201cIt\u2019d be nice if you coughed up your personal art collection, too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The split-second flash of heartbreak must have been extreme to be seen through her mask of makeup. She turned away. Finally, she said, \u201cMay I keep one of the Ford pieces? It\u2019s not on the books.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDoes the corporation own it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>For reasons he didn\u2019t understand, instead of the same \u201cno\u201d he\u2019d given her about a vacation, he asked, \u201cWhich one is it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Morning in Bed<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He almost choked. \u201cYou own <em>Morning in Bed<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow long have you had it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI bought it three days after its debut.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian took a deep, shuddering breath and looked away, rubbing his mouth and chin, thinking. He knew how much it had sold for and he had a pretty good idea how much it would fetch now.<\/p>\n<p>But <em>that<\/em> painting\u2014 What were the odds?<\/p>\n<p>He hesitated. \u201cLet me think about it. In the meantime, I would like you to go to the Ford exhibit with me tomorrow evening so that you can see for yourself the value of letting them all go.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThank you,\u201d she said smoothly, \u201cbut I\u2019m otherwise occupied.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Anger and adrenaline shot through Sebastian so fast he was nauseated. A woman who owned nine Ford paintings, including the most notorious one, would <em>not<\/em> miss the unveiling of a new one <em>in her own city<\/em>. It wasn\u2019t the first time a woman had lied to him to refuse an invitation, but it had always been out of fear of him. Unnerved by him. Unable to distinguish threatening from shy. He\u2019d finally stopped asking because it was so discouraging.<\/p>\n<p>Eilis hadn\u2019t declined. She\u2019d said, <em>May your ass get reamed by a thousand barbed penises without lube<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>He inclined his head. \u201cAs you wish.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">20: CLINICAL, INTELLECTUAL, CYNICAL<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">GISELLE SAT ON a picnic table in Theis Park by Brush Creek just off campus, feeding the ducks, trying to meditate. She hadn\u2019t been back to the bodhisattva to meditate since Fen\u2019s fundraising party because Bryce Kenard had seeped into every cell of her brain, every minute of her life, every corner of her spaces.<\/p>\n<p>She couldn\u2019t take it anymore.<\/p>\n<p>Sebastian was mad at her and accused her of \u201cmoping around the house like an emo sixteen-year-old girl for the last seven months.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox was furious because she had successfully avoided him for weeks, not answering his texts, emails, phone calls, or knocks on her bedroom door (which she kept locked so he couldn\u2019t barge in). Fortunately, he didn\u2019t have any classes to teach, he had a heavy case load, and he wouldn\u2019t risk her job by showing up at work.<\/p>\n<p>She hadn\u2019t returned her mother\u2019s phone calls or emails in two weeks, and barely texted to let her know she was still alive, so Lilly had resorted to hounding both Sebastian and Knox as to Giselle\u2019s state of mind, which made them both madder.<\/p>\n<p>She hadn\u2019t shown up at any of her extended family\u2019s frequent functions because she couldn\u2019t take Fen on any level after he\u2019d called to yell at her for going to his party armed.<\/p>\n<p>All she wanted was to be left alone with no one jabbering in her ears, questioning her moods, making demands, lecturing her on propriety, threatening her life and livelihood and grades, shaming her for running a con, or sneering at her.<\/p>\n<p>She knew Kenard\u2019s office address: downtown, in a prestigious skyscraper convenient to the Jackson County Courthouse. She still had no idea what to do with it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBoy, you just don\u2019t know a good thing when it steps right in front of you, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGo away,\u201d she muttered, irritated because Knox had to have put an APB out on her to find her here. \u201cDon\u2019t you have fathers and wives to avenge, women to marry, and children to sire?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re a hot mess,\u201d he drawled. \u201cMove over.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She did and he climbed up onto the table beside her.<\/p>\n<p>He leaned in to kiss her but she pulled away. \u201cNo more. I\u2019m done with this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDone with what?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDone with you and the Shakespearean tragedy that is your life. Done with OKH. I\u2019m <em>tired<\/em>. I want\u2014 No, I <em>need<\/em> a resolution.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He handed her a bottle of cold water, which she took. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know,\u201d she replied with a sigh. \u201cMe too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He surprised her by kissing her anyway and she found herself comparing him unfavorably to Kenard, so that was yet another thing that had been taken from her.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCut it out,\u201d she grumbled, shoving him away from her then wiping her mouth on her arm. \u201cWhat if somebody saw us?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThey did.\u201d He gestured some way off to a gaggle of law students she knew, who were gaping at them. \u201cGiving your reputation another layer of mystique.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou <em>shit!<\/em>\u201d she screeched.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHeh. Successfully got one over on <em>Dr. Cox<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She sighed. \u201cSebastian sicced you on me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNope. Your mom dropped by last night to interrogate me. She thinks I know all your little hiding places.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, you don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re right about that. I\u2019ve been to every shoe store in town.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She cracked a reluctant smile.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLet\u2019s talk about Bryce Kenard.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLet\u2019s not.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He waited.<\/p>\n<p>He waited a long time.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know what to do!\u201d she finally burst out. \u201cHe, um\u2014 At the gallery, he\u2014\u201d She stopped. Took a deep breath. \u201cHe wanted\u2014 He asked me to go home with him and\u2014 Um, and I wanted to, but I was there to trick him. I mean, I couldn\u2019t\u2014 Not on a lie.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs <em>that<\/em> what this is about?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat and the fact that he thinks I\u2019m a slut,\u201d she said in a rush. \u201cI\u2019m <em>mortified<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s not about the church?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She sneered at him. \u201cIf it were, I wouldn\u2019t have considered going home with him, would I?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He said nothing for a moment. Then, \u201cSo tell him the truth. Throw yourself on his mercy. You\u2019ve got nothing to lose.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLike I want to invite someone to flog me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s a dodge. He intimidates you and you don\u2019t like it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, <em>fuck you!<\/em>\u201d she screeched again, immediately pissed off. \u201cYou <em>did<\/em> hear the part where he thinks a thirty-six-year-old virgin is a slut, right? I spend all these years keeping myself in check, hoping for a husband, and for <em>what?!<\/em> I do have some pride.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiselle\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShut up! I am the <em>only<\/em> one of us with no investment in OKH, but <em>I<\/em> am the one sacrificing <em>my<\/em> life for <em>your<\/em> inheritance. No, I\u2019m not dead, but <em>years<\/em> of my life are gone with <em>nothing<\/em> to show for it. I get my passion\u2014my <em>life\u2019s work<\/em>\u2014stolen from me, something <em>mine<\/em>, that <em>I<\/em> built. I almost die in a fire, I go bankrupt, I end up with a string of shitty jobs when I have a PhD <em>and<\/em> had my own business I can\u2019t rebuild because <em>your stepfather<\/em> just couldn\u2019t <em>resist<\/em> making it look like arson, I land back in school for a law degree I <em>don\u2019t<\/em> want, I get shot and arrested for homicide, I\u2019m fucking <em>broke!<\/em> and Sebastian still makes me pay rent, and I <em>finally<\/em> meet a guy I might have been able to have a relationship with and he all but calls me a whore for reasons I don\u2019t know so he feels free to proposition me.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd <em>neither<\/em> of you gives a shit! You just tell me what to do, I do it, and then what? My life falls apart and you don\u2019t notice. Intimidated and I don\u2019t like it? <em>Fuck you!<\/em> <em>I<\/em> approached Kenard. <em>I<\/em> kissed him first. Which is probably why he thinks I\u2019m a slut. <em>So fuck you again!<\/em> I <em>better<\/em> get a good chunk of OKH\u2019s cash reserves\u2014and a fucking <em>job!<\/em>\u2014on your birthday because I\u2019ve earned it. If I\u2019m going to be a whore, I\u2019m going to be a very <em>expensive<\/em> one.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He grimaced. \u201cYeah, okay, I see your point. I\u2019ll pay your rent.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd while you\u2019re at it! Pay my student loans, finish putting me through school, pay my bookstore debt so I can get my bankruptcy discharged, and find an insurance company that\u2019ll cover me for a retail establishment. I\u2019m also going to give Sebastian an invoice for consulting fees, and since it\u2019s working, one of you better pay it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That surprised her, but she\u2019d take it and be grateful. That was <em>a lot<\/em> of money, but they could afford it and they owed her.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCan\u2019t promise anything on coverage, though.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh!\u201d she barked, now remembering her most immediate beef with Knox personally. \u201cAlso! Change my grades.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI can\u2019t do that,\u201d he said tightly.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Won\u2019t<\/em>. You have damaged my GPA for no reason other than to poke at me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat is not true and you know it,\u201d he snapped back. \u201cYou aren\u2019t working up to your capabilities. I\u2019ve told you that before.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That enraged her. \u201cI don\u2019t give a shit about my capabilities! You don\u2019t care about anyone else\u2019s capabilities! Pulling a Fen, thinking that making me work harder than anyone else is doing me a <em>favor<\/em>. I wouldn\u2019t be there at all if it weren\u2019t for <em>you<\/em>. My life revolves around <em>you<\/em>. I can\u2019t go to class without someone teasing me about <em>you<\/em>, then you kiss me in front of my classmates, so now I\u2019m going to get grilled about <em>that<\/em>. I can\u2019t even go on campus without it being about <em>you<\/em>, and then you turn around and punish me for it!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs that what you think?\u201d he demanded. \u201cI\u2019m <em>punishing<\/em> you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat else <em>can<\/em> I think? Unlike everybody else, law school is for me a fucking <em>trade school!<\/em> It is tedious and time-consuming and a pain in my ass, but it is <em>not difficult!<\/em> I <em>want<\/em> a fucking <em>job<\/em> that does not involve transcription, minimum wage retail, teaching English at a shit-paying junior college or with awesome hazard pay in the KC School District, or becoming a plumber! I <em>want<\/em> my fucking bookstore back!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His jaw tightened and his nostrils flared. \u201cYou won\u2019t <em>need<\/em> a job after I pay your bills and Sebastian pays your invoice, which, I assume, will be six figures.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSeven! But that\u2019s totally irrelevant. I am not asking you for special favors. I\u2019m demanding you give me what I earned, which you <em>should<\/em> have done in the first place. If I have to, I\u2019ll sue the university. Not you. The university. Unlike Snowflake, <em>my<\/em> complaint will stick and I\u2019ll make you so toxic you\u2019ll never be allowed to teach anywhere ever again.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His mouth tightened. \u201cFine,\u201d he gritted. \u201cIs that all?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFor now. Don\u2019t expect me to thank you.\u201d She pulled her tank top up to mop her tear-drenched face and sniffled. She took the handkerchief Knox offered her and blew her nose. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you want me to go to the Nelson that night?\u201d she muttered as she cleaned herself up.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKenard\u2019s your romance-novel hero come to life,\u201d he said promptly, \u201cand I suspected you\u2019d fall for him, but under those circumstances, it\u2019d be a big train wreck. And I was right. But I also thought you\u2019d come to me before it got this far.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSebastian said you two were on the outs and you don\u2019t meddle under any circumstances, so I didn\u2019t bother.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox grunted. \u201cYou want me to, uh&#160;\u2026&#160;?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo,\u201d she mumbled. \u201cI don\u2019t know. Maybe. He\u2019s been trying to catch me since March, asks me to lunch, but I finally told him to fuck off. That was a little over a month ago.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAaaand you\u2019re still moping after successfully shooting him down.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She said nothing.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou generally do your own dirty work, so I\u2019ll stay out of it. But all you really need is one long conversation, which it sounds like he\u2019s been trying to make happen. Grovel for not telling him up front what Sebastian wanted, although I don\u2019t think you have anything to apologize for, or hand him his head for being an ass or both or give him sad puppy-dog eyes across a crowded courtroom, but at least start the conversation. If nothing else, you\u2019ll get closure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She hiccupped, took a deep breath, released it long and slow, sniffled and hiccupped again.<\/p>\n<p>In the silence that fell, he took some of her cracked corn to throw to the ducks. They both did that for a long time, then he took a deep breath. \u201cI need to ask you something. That day in class, the day I subbed for Grady. With Justice.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Disoriented by the abrupt change of topic, it took Giselle a little bit to shift mental gears. \u201cI thought you didn\u2019t want to discuss her?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI do now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She waited.<\/p>\n<p>She waited a long time.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOn the scale of evil,\u201d he mused, \u201cwhere is it that I want a second chance with her, when meeting her, being that affected by her, is tainted because I was with another woman at the time? Should I just let it go?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d wondered how long it would take him to ask her this. \u201cYou want me to tell you it wasn\u2019t cheating on Leah and you should get a mulligan.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah. That\u2019s the only thing I regret about that day. I went home feeling like the worst bastard who ever lived. I could barely look at Leah, I was so ashamed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd what happened in that month between Justice and the wedding?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He shrugged. \u201cLavished attention on Leah, listened to her bridezilla rants\u2014\u201d She really had been. Giselle thought it was adorable. \u201c\u2014did what she told me to do. I had way too much to do and think about, so I was fine pretty quick. But then she died.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWas murdered.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWas murdered. Forgot it ever happened, but once I grieved and everything got back to normal, I kept going back to that moment and wondering if taking the chance I would never have taken the first time is&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She waited for him to finish the thought, but after a while, she said slowly, \u201cI think&#160;\u2026 you need to figure out if it\u2019s really <em>her<\/em> or if she\u2019s just the fish that got away. I have one of those.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She told him about seeing Remington Steele that night at his house, when she was a fat, stinky mess. \u201cDoes that make me bad, still carrying a married man around when I can\u2019t stop thinking about someone else?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Again he was silent. Then, \u201cHuh. That\u2019s&#160;\u2026 interesting. Why didn\u2019t you ever tell me about that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSame reason it took you two years to talk about Justice. I buried myself in school and work, but when I was quiet, I\u2019d fantasize about the wife kicking the bucket and having a rom-com meet-cute with him, and of course, I would be looking fabulous when that happened. But after a while, I forgot about it.\u201d She paused. \u201cWhat bugs me is that it resurfaced when I met Bryce. Why now?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat if the wife had kicked the bucket and you met him now, in spite of Bryce?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBryce is alive. Leah isn\u2019t. Lots of men marry very soon after their wives die. Sometimes they rediscover a high school sweetheart. Men in general don\u2019t do well without a woman in their lives, and you certainly never have, demanding my attention when you\u2019re between women, which is <em>another<\/em> shitty thing you do. Between you and Sebastian, I\u2019m about ready to go move in with Morgan.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He had the grace to look ashamed. \u201cAre we really that bad?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah,\u201d she drawled. \u201cYou\u2019re both on my shit list.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He sighed heavily.<\/p>\n<p>They were silent for a while, listening to the hum of people\u2019s conversations, the buzz of traffic, the flow of water over the Volker waterfall into Brush Creek, the rustle of the leaves.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid you bail on OKH because of Justice?\u201d she asked quietly.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo.\u201d He shrugged indifferently. \u201cI realized at Leah\u2019s funeral, if I really wanted it, I\u2019d have married her straight out of the gate, worked Rachel out of any claim on OKH, and <em>none<\/em> of this would ever have happened, including your bookstore fire. Which is why I\u2019m going to pay all your bills.\u201d He paused, then muttered, \u201cWish I could bring Leah back that easily.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle started when a duck nipped at her toes. \u201cWorse than toddlers,\u201d she grumbled and threw some more corn. \u201cAnd that adds to your guilt.\u201d When he didn\u2019t reply, she said, \u201cI see your point about OKH. And I agree with it. But this really is your fight and Sebastian has a right to resent that you gave up and left him holding the bag. You loved Leah. Still do, I think?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He nodded.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe\u2019s been gone for two years now and you\u2019ve respected her memory. What you want is no different from any other widower who loops around to a former love. In this case, you already know there\u2019s an available woman out there who\u2019s head over heels in love with you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He scoffed. \u201cShe <em>thinks<\/em>. She\u2019s not old enough to know what she wants or what love is.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That got Giselle\u2019s back up, considering her own situation. \u201cThat\u2019s not fair. If I were her, I\u2019d want to know that the man I wanted actually wanted me too. I wouldn\u2019t want to live my life wondering and dreaming and wishing. I <em>knew<\/em> that man wanted me. Is it awful? Yes. But I <em>do<\/em> have the chance with Bryce. The ball\u2019s in my court. My decision. She can\u2019t make that decision with you, so seek her out and tell her how you feel, lay it all out for her, and let her decide whether she wants to be with you or not. You don\u2019t have to marry her or have a child. You just have to see if it\u2019d work and if it does, wait until after your birthday to get married. Or not.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, you don\u2019t get it. I <em>can\u2019t<\/em> tell her the problem. \u2018Hi, will you go out with me? If we get together, my uncle will try to kill you. But I\u2019m really good in bed so it\u2019ll be worth it.\u2019\u201d Giselle laughed. \u201cShe\u2019d agree on the spot, with some romantic notion that love can conquer all, and it wouldn\u2019t matter if we got married or not because, as you should know by now, Fen makes preemptive strikes.\u201d Indeed. Giselle had a dead dream, two gunshot wounds, and a bum shoulder to remind her. \u201cI just need to keep her attention for the next two years.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe way you\u2019re doing it right now isn\u2019t going to work that long.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He cast her a worried glance. \u201cYou don\u2019t think?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, especially if she runs into somebody who takes her in hand, because the second the world finds out she\u2019s as gorgeous as she is entertaining, she\u2019ll be on cable news. New York. Bright lights. Huge audience. Big salary. Lots of men just as smart and handsome as you. Younger. Wining and dining. Maybe politically simpatico. She could decide Dr. Hilliard\u2019s a lost cause and move on while you\u2019re walking your high wire.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Shit<\/em>,\u201d he whispered, rubbing his mouth.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe\u2019s got a lot of growing up to do. She didn\u2019t get it in college. She won\u2019t get it in law school. She\u2019s not <em>shy<\/em> at all, but she doesn\u2019t have enough life experience to cop an attitude and plow her way through being socially ostracized.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s your fault.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle shrugged. \u201cShe\u2019s all brains and wit, no spine, but she thinks she wants to be an activist prosecutor instead of writing amicus briefs at a chichi think tank at ten times what the county pays. So, okay. Give her what she wants. Recruit her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t have to. Her CV is on my desk.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe came to you?\u201d Giselle gasped, shocked. He nodded morosely. \u201c<em>Already?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe got permission to take the bar exam early.\u201d It took a lot to impress Giselle. That did. \u201cI\u2019m debating whether to have Eric interview her because he\u2019ll send her packing, which will give me plausible deniability.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDoes he know who she is to you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, only that I was defending a student who wasn\u2019t named in the pleading.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle pursed her lips. \u201cHm. Well, there\u2019s only one place she could get a backbone in a matter of weeks instead of years, only one person who could turn her into the bad-ass she wants to be. Thing is, if you really don\u2019t want to put her on Fen\u2019s radar, you <em>have<\/em> to keep your hands and thoughts to yourself. You get to see her every day for a year and a half. She\u2019ll find out if she\u2019s suited to criminal law, if she can tolerate the bureaucracy of law enforcement. But even if she doesn\u2019t like it, she\u2019ll get her mind fucked the way she likes. You can keep tabs on her dating and adjust your strategy. Then, on your fortieth birthday, you can ask her if she wants to have cake and ice cream. Win-win.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo,\u201d he mumbled. \u201cMy world would crush her. <em>I<\/em> would crush her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re afraid that once she sees you in your natural habitat she won\u2019t look at you the same way she did that day and you don\u2019t want to watch her get disillusioned with you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI find it inconvenient that you can read my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That made Giselle laugh. \u201cMaster of the overstated understatement.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He flashed her a grin. \u201cDid you like that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou dumbass,\u201d she said and pushed him off the table.<\/p>\n<p>He hopped back up on the table with a laugh. He sobered then. \u201cI just want to see her again, let her go, and I can go find her when this is all over with.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd if you meet somebody else?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter <em>who<\/em>. I\u2019m fucked until my fortieth birthday. Or not fucked, which is the problem.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle sighed. \u201cOh, Fen. You assclown.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMmm hm. I agree she needs to spend some time in the trenches, but not in my office. I don\u2019t want her anywhere near me before my birthday.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat <em>is<\/em> a helluva pickle,\u201d she said slowly, looking off into the distance and throwing more corn at her demanding duck. \u201cWell,\u201d she concluded without concluding anything at all, \u201cI can appreciate that you want to take the high road, so I\u2019ll not argue with you about it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou know why I\u2019m so good at what I do?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNot really. I don\u2019t think of you that way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHuh. Okay, I\u2019ll tell you why. It\u2019s my memory. So this is what I have to say to you: \u2018If it were me, I\u2019d want to know that the man I wanted actually wanted me, too. I wouldn\u2019t want to live my life wondering and dreaming and wishing. I do have the chance. The ball\u2019s in my court. My decision.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBastard,\u201d she grumbled.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCoward.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">21: FENEMIES<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">GISELLE LAY AWAKE all night with Knox\u2019s parting shot ringing in her ears.<\/p>\n<p><em>Coward.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Her situation and his weren\u2019t perfectly analogous, but he wasn\u2019t wrong. An hour after she left the park, he showed up at her and Sebastian\u2019s house with barbecue as a peace offering. Then he promptly tattled on her to Sebastian, who said, \u201cIf Kenard hadn\u2019t been interested in talking to you, he\u2019d have let you know. If he hadn\u2019t wanted you, he wouldn\u2019t have followed you. If he only wanted to fuck you, he wouldn\u2019t be prostrating himself to get you to listen to him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox agreed.<\/p>\n<p><em>That\u2019s a dodge. He intimidates you and you don\u2019t like it.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Kenard <em>was<\/em> her romance-novel hero come to life and yes, that intimidated her, but it wasn\u2019t why she was keeping the man at bay. She didn\u2019t want to be thought of or treated like a liar or a whore, and she wasn\u2019t going to give him the opportunity to accuse her of things that weren\u2019t true. What about that made her a coward?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re afraid of getting your feelings hurt,\u201d Sebastian answered. \u201cSuck it up and find out what he has to say. You can always walk away if he starts being an asshole. But don\u2019t talk to him before you get the monkey off your back. He doesn\u2019t need to be dragged into OKH.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knox agreed with that, too, and since they so rarely agreed on anything, she supposed she should take their advice.<\/p>\n<p>As she lay there in the dark, she realized Sebastian was right about how badly Kenard wanted to talk to her, and from what she\u2019d read, he wasn\u2019t a man to beg. She could be wrong about what he wanted to talk about.<\/p>\n<p><em>I wouldn\u2019t want to live my life wondering and dreaming and wishing.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She called in sick the next morning, dressed for effect, and drove straight to OKH. She ignored the front lobby receptionist who demanded she sign in. She ignored security that, caught completely off guard, scrambled to keep her from going any farther into the building.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cStand down, gentlemen,\u201d boomed a deep voice from the mezzanine above the massive terrazzo-and-maple lobby. \u201cEverything\u2019s fine. My wayward niece just wants to throw a little hissy fit at me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Protests followed her as she took the stairs of the grand staircase two at a time, her strong legs eating up the distance between him and her.<\/p>\n<p>Giselle had a strange balance of power with her uncle she\u2019d had since she was a child.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, he\u2019d tried to kill her twice, which had bankrupted her and obliged her to undergo emergency surgery, respectively.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, she\u2019d calmly and deliberately threatened to kill him, a hand on his throat and a gun to his head.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, he felt as free to dress her down as any of her other aunts and uncles, and yes, they\u2019d had a good time together once upon a time.<\/p>\n<p>Fen was part of her earliest memories, good ones, far more so than Uncle Oliver, Knox\u2019s father, whom she never knew very well because he was always at church or Scouts. Fen had teased her, pushed her to dream big and strive harder, and made her sharpen her wits on his. And since her and Sebastian\u2019s adventures kept her in funds, she was free to refuse Fen\u2019s offers of help and money.<\/p>\n<p><em>I know you like him, Giz, but keep him out of your business. You let him start paying for stuff and he\u2019ll expect you to obey the way Knox does.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And she certainly didn\u2019t want that. This was what gave her the upper hand with Fen. It enabled her to see his motives and still enjoy sitting on the sidelines of life with him, gossiping, pointing out the ridiculous, mercilessly mocking him and others, constantly trying to one-up him with clever insults and acerbic quips.<\/p>\n<p>But then he\u2019d killed Leah.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCome in, Giselle, come in,\u201d Fen said graciously. He held the door to his office suite open and guided her through the floor of assistants\u2019 desks arranged as if it were a midcentury bank lobby. They watched her warily, this sacrilegious woman appearing in the CEO\u2019s office wearing a loose, nearly transparent linen shirt, tight leathers and boots, a gun stuck in the back of her waistband. She smiled slightly at one young man who couldn\u2019t take his eyes off her. She winked at him and he blushed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cStop flirting with my people,\u201d Fen hissed once he had ushered her into his private office and closed the doors behind them. \u201cYou dare come to me armed?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPffftt. I\u2019d be a fool not to.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI wouldn\u2019t be stupid enough to kill you here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou don\u2019t have the balls to do it <em>anywhere<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He ignored that and rocked back on a heel to rake her with a glance and gesture at her clothes. \u201cAnd\u2014and this,\u201d he sneered. \u201cYou couldn\u2019t have dressed properly? You could\u2019ve at least worn a thicker shirt and a goddamned bra. You disrespect me in my own house?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you mean the house that Uncle Oliver built?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His jaw clenched. \u201cOliver built a shack. I razed it and plowed the fields and built a plantation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWasn\u2019t the only field of his you plowed, was it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He slapped her. She retaliated immediately with the back of her fist. He stumbled backward, holding his bleeding nose. Fen was as big as Knox, but he wasn\u2019t as strong or fast as Giselle.<\/p>\n<p>Panting, she watched him warily in case he decided to finally show a little courage, but the blood kept him occupied. \u201cNow that the niceties are out of the way, I\u2019ll state my business.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He stared at her stonily, pressing a handkerchief to his nose. \u201cMake it snappy. I don\u2019t have time for your little-girl shenanigans.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>My<\/em> shenanigans?! You burned down my fucking store!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019ve been sulking about that ever since, so stop it. It annoys me when you sulk.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Any other time, she would have pursued that, but not today. \u201cI want to go about my merry business without having to look over my shoulder. You leave me be. Today. Forever.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Fen\u2019s expression turned speculative. \u201cKenard.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Shocked, she drew back. \u201cHow did you know that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t be disingenuous. You pulled a Cinderella and he rearranged Sebastian\u2019s face. It was obvious to everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That caught her up short. \u201cWait, what?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Fen blinked. \u201cAh, you made your distinguished exit, he came back, Sebastian deliberately provoked him, and he didn\u2019t appreciate the humor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle suddenly felt a bit cherished, and she liked it. \u201cDidn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMmm, but now half of Kansas City\u2019s moneyed thinks Bryce Kenard is fucking Sebastian Taight\u2019s mistress, and isn\u2019t that deliciously scandalous. I was wondering if you\u2019d go down that road, because you don\u2019t seem terribly invested in a temple marriage anymore and he\u2019s completely disillusioned with the church. So since you\u2019re here, I\u2019m going to assume you\u2019re not sleeping with him. Yet.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo and I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ll ever get to, considering why I was at your party that night.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou don\u2019t have anything to worry about,\u201d he muttered as he concentrated on tending his nose. \u201cDeceit\u2019s not your style.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe doesn\u2019t know me, so that\u2019s not the way he\u2019s going to see it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly, Fen laughed. \u201cHe\u2019ll forgive you. Seduction\u2019s not your style, either, though you did display amazing potential. I knew the minute you led him up the stairs you weren\u2019t playing any game at all, much less the one Sebastian wanted you to play.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle huffed. \u201cI do <em>not<\/em> want you wrapped up in any relationship I might have with him. You and I are not a package deal and I want your word.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf I honor your request and he doesn\u2019t work out the way you hope, then you decide to marry Knox just to flip me off\u2014 All bets are off. I\u2019ll go back to seeing if you can be killed. Color me curious.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She looked at him for a bit and decided to let him think she\u2019d marry Knox at the last minute in case Knox got to Justice McKinley before his fortieth birthday. Giselle nodded. \u201cI\u2019ll agree to those terms. But. What I told you after you killed Leah still stands. Any more of Knox\u2019s women die, you die. And in case you are elected and the ATF or whoever pulls a Waco on Knox and he dies ever so conveniently? Being a senator won\u2019t protect you from me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He held his nose and stared at her, not speaking for a long time. She waited for him to close the deal, but he didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy,\u201d he finally said, slowly, \u201ccouldn\u2019t you have been my daughter?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle\u2019s breath caught in her throat and her eyes widened. \u201cWhat?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Fen gestured to one of the wing-back chairs in front of his desk. He sat in the other once she took the seat he offered.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDidn\u2019t you ever wonder why I took such an interest in your life?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI thought you just wanted to boss me around the way you bossed Knox around.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Fen grunted. \u201cNo. I wanted to be the father of a girl who took life by the throat and throttled the hell out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI had a father.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWho was my best friend, remember.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAugh! Fen! I am not here to have a bonding moment or fulfill your paternal fantasies. You are standing between me and Bryce Kenard and I want you out of my way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe problem is, I don\u2019t trust you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cReally,\u201d she said flatly. \u201cYou went there. <em>Murderer<\/em>. <em>Adulterer<\/em>. <em>Liar<\/em>. <em>Thief<\/em>. Did I miss anything?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI prefer \u2018scalawag\u2019 if you must get nasty about it. Let me rephrase: I won\u2019t trust you until your marriage license is filed. You\u2019ll do a whole lot of things to get under my skin, but one thing you <em>won\u2019t<\/em> do is cheat on your man, and Kenard is not a man who\u2019ll tolerate split loyalties.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou wrote the book on split loyalties.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He gave her an odd look. \u201cWhat makes you say that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMe versus Trudy. She can\u2019t be happy about my relationship with you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFriends close, enemies closer, but she\u2019s thinking about doing it herself since no one else can.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle snorted. \u201cShe knows where I live.\u201d She paused, then decided to go for broke. \u201cI\u2019m just curious,\u201d she began, gesturing to indicate her good faith. \u201cHow long have you two been lovers?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh. Since sixty-four.\u201d He said it so forthrightly it shocked her. \u201cOliver was gone to \u2019Nam. She was lonely. I was available and all too willing to climb in bed with a beautiful woman who wanted me there. Then I went in sixty-seven and that was about the time Oliver came home. When the war was over, she and I took up where we left off.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut&#160;\u2026 why\u2019d you have to murder him?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Fen looked straight at her and said, very deliberately, \u201cGiselle, there comes a time in a man\u2019s life when he has to protect the people he loves. You of all people should know how that feels. I know you\u2019re not wearing a wire, but if you ever repeat what I\u2019m about to tell you, I\u2019ll put you in the ground myself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle smirked. \u201cYeah, okay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Fen ignored that. \u201cOliver had fists like hams and he used them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle\u2019s mouth dropped open, but once she recovered from her shock, she snapped, \u201cI don\u2019t believe that. Knox would\u2019ve done something about it and he certainly wouldn\u2019t have practically worshipped him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOliver\u2019s rage was directed solely at Trudy, in private. No man\u2019s going to risk having a willful son turn on him for beating his mother, and for all Knox was well behaved, he would stand up to what he saw as wrong, no matter the cost. Even to his dad.\u201d Fen leveled her a stony glance. \u201cEven to the point of execution. And if you think I don\u2019t know who cleaned up after his foray into vigilantism, you\u2019re not as smart as your PhD looks.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle pursed her lips.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUh huh. The fact is, Trudy was terrified.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid you <em>see<\/em> this for yourself?\u201d she asked carefully. \u201cBruises?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBruises, yes. Black eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Trudy was a magician with makeup, but Giselle didn\u2019t dare accuse her of gaslighting Fen into getting rid of her husband. \u201cHm.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKilling Oliver wasn\u2019t about my affair with Trudy and it wasn\u2019t about OKH. It was about keeping Trudy safe and, considering Knox and Oliver\u2019s relationship, I didn\u2019t feel Knox needed to know what his father was doing to his mother.\u201d Trudy had done her work well because he seemed to really believe that. How <em>willing<\/em> he\u2019d been to believe it back then, Giselle didn\u2019t know. \u201cWhen she kicked him out of the house, it was to protect him in case Oliver got it into his head that Knox was my son. There were no DNA tests at that time, remember.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But that was an excuse too far, and she huffed. \u201cFen, you know that\u2019s bullshit. She\u2019s always thought of Knox as a useful nuisance.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He shrugged. \u201cOkay, point taken. But,\u201d he added tightly, \u201cif you\u2019d kept your mouth shut\u2014\u201d Giselle felt the color drain from her face. \u201c\u2014it would\u2019ve ended with just Oliver dead, no one the wiser, Trudy and Knox safe, and no proviso to fight over.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly dizzy, Giselle closed her eyes and put her face in her palm because that was absolutely true. She\u2019d spent the last two decades carrying the guilt of a fourteen-year-old girl\u2019s mistake, but she\u2019d never thought Fen would throw it at her like that.<\/p>\n<p>Fen began to laugh. \u201cAh. I see you\u2019ve been flagellating yourself for this entire fiasco. Good. Keep at it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Intellectually, she knew she wasn\u2019t responsible for any of it. She\u2019d gone so far as to discuss it with her bishop. But the day she walked in on Trudy fucking Fen was indelibly etched in her mind, and if she just\u2014hadn\u2019t\u2014said\u2014anything&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you tell us this when we confronted you?\u201d she asked wearily, rubbing her forehead.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBy then it was irrelevant. I didn\u2019t feel guilty for killing Oliver and I didn\u2019t kill him for OKH. In fact, I didn\u2019t even find out about the proviso until after the funeral. He was overwhelmed, didn\u2019t want it anymore, and knew I was planning to buy it from him. But then he slipped that damned proviso in when I wasn\u2019t looking.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She looked up at him, puzzled. \u201cWhy would he do that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI have no idea! I was furious because he went around me for no good reason, and I felt guilty for resenting a fifteen-year-old kid for something that wasn\u2019t his fault. I always loved Knox. He was a good kid, easygoing, did what he was told, and I daresay that proviso\u2019s been as burdensome to him as it is to me. I didn\u2019t want to make his life miserable, and he was happier living with you anyway. It was easy to be kind to him and support him when I never had to look at him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFine. I get all that. But you didn\u2019t feel guilty enough to give it up, and now you\u2019ve sunk to the level of murder to keep it. There\u2019s no honor in that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTrue.\u201d He rose then, which cued her to do the same. \u201cIt\u2019s a deal,\u201d he said, offering his hand for her to shake, which she did, firmly. \u201cAs long as you and Kenard are engaging in some sort of mating ritual. The second you get married to anybody <em>but<\/em> Knox, I\u2019ll get out of your hair for good. If not&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf not, I will put you out of my misery.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPistols at dawn, eh? Fine. One other thing. Keep your mouth shut about Oliver. I think you\u2019ve learned your lesson about speaking out of school.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her mouth tightened. \u201cDone.\u201d She turned to go.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiselle?\u201d She looked over her shoulder to see his stone-cold expression. \u201cDon\u2019t <em>ever<\/em> come back here armed, and next time wear a damned dress. A <em>modest<\/em> one.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She flashed him a wicked smile, winked, and walked out, unwilling to let him see how shaken up she was. Fen was right; she\u2019d definitely learned her lesson about keeping her mouth shut.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">22: MISFIT SO ALONE<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">ONCE GISELLE TOLD Kenard\u2019s frigid assistant her name, she warmed instantly, eager to tell her where he could be found. Giselle smiled in spite of herself, then blushed when the woman gave her a conspiratorial wink.<\/p>\n<p>At the courthouse, Giselle patiently subjected herself to the search and surrendered her weapon. After being frisked, wanded, and all but tossed on the x-ray conveyor belt, she was finally allowed in.<\/p>\n<p>All the way through the building, up stairs and through doors, she garnered stares. Some of these people knew her from law school and gaped at her. Oakley saw her, tried to catch her attention, but she ignored him. Although she hadn\u2019t spoken with him since the day he\u2019d declined to charge her with homicide, he could wait. Politics could wait.<\/p>\n<p>She got to the right division before she slowed at all. Her heart pounding and her mouth dry, she ducked into the restroom to calm herself a bit before getting on with her business here. Leaning back against the wall, she bent over and took some deep breaths, not thinking about what she intended to do. If she thought about it at all, she knew she\u2019d change her mind and then she\u2019d regret it for the rest of her life.<\/p>\n<p>She looked in a mirror once her breathing had slowed and she felt more capable of acting like a civilized human being. Her face was red, as she had expected, thus hid any marks Fen\u2019s hand might have made. She bent down to splash cold water on her face and gargle some of it to ease the dryness of her mouth.<\/p>\n<p>The restroom door banged open and although Giselle took no real notice, a flash of dull, frizzy, indeterminate red did catch in her periphery. She looked up. There, Justice McKinley staring at her in the mirror, frightened determination written all over her face.<\/p>\n<p><em>I\u2019ll be damned.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She wondered if Justice knew or suspected what Giselle had done for her, or if she knew about her connection to Knox, because she couldn\u2019t think of any other reason the girl would detain her, now of all times and here of all places.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUm&#160;\u2026 Dr. Cox? May I, um, have a sec? Not about grades,\u201d she tacked on hurriedly.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGiselle,\u201d she said, trying to hide her impatience. Couldn\u2019t she have done this at school, when she had unlimited access and time? \u201cOnly a sec, though.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice, looking very young and na\u00efve, swallowed a bit. \u201cI\u2014 I want\u2014\u201d She pursed her lips and looked away, shaking her head. \u201cNever mind. It\u2019s stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle turned, leaned back against the sink, and crossed her arms over her chest. \u201cSay whatever you have to say to me, Justice,\u201d she demanded not so gently this time. \u201cClock\u2019s ticking.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She started and opened her mouth. \u201cI want to be like you,\u201d she blurted.<\/p>\n<p>Giselle blinked, surprised. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2014 You\u2019re powerful and\u2014\u201d She looked at the floor and whispered, \u201cI want to learn that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle watched her for several long seconds before Justice raised her eyelashes.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI can\u2019t teach you how to be that,\u201d she said abruptly. \u201cYou have to come to it on your own, through hardship and fear. You have to know who you are and what you believe and you have to take stock of that every day. You have to walk barefoot through fire on broken glass. You have to stand up to people who frighten you under conditions that terrify you. You have to be honest with yourself about what you really want. You have to be willing to fail.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPower is acquired, earned. You\u2019ll have many opportunities in your life to earn bits and pieces of it. You\u2019ll make bad choices; learn from them and do the best you can with them. Never dither over what the right choice might be every single time you\u2019re presented with one. It won\u2019t teach you anything and you\u2019ll be a bore at cocktail parties.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justice\u2019s hazel eyes were suspiciously moist and Giselle smiled, reaching out to rub her shoulder, surprising both of them. Giselle almost <em>never<\/em> touched people she didn\u2019t know, or allowed them to touch her. But she\u2019d touched this girl once and at that moment had become vested in keeping her safe, in smoothing her road for her, in helping her travel the path that led to Knox.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019ll do fine. Now,\u201d she said briskly, turning away from Justice and back to the mirror to do some last-minute primping, \u201cI need to go take some of my own advice.\u201d She caught Justice\u2019s look of confusion when she turned to walk toward the door. She opened it a crack and then looked back over her shoulder. \u201cAcquiring power is a neverending process. Every day you have to wake up and prove to the world all over again that you deserve it. There should never come a day when you wake up and say, \u2018Okay, I\u2019m powerful now; I\u2019m done.\u2019 <em>Never<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>With that, she left the restroom and found the correct set of courtroom doors. She opened one quietly, tiptoed in, and stood silently against the back wall to watch Kenard do what he did that made him the god of the UMKC School of Law.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">23: CAPTAIN FURY<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">BRYCE HAD USED the architecture of this closing argument so often he could recite it in his sleep. It wasn\u2019t that he didn\u2019t believe it\u2014no, he believed every word of what he said and because of that, he could sell it to the jury. Every time. Sadly, he had too many cases that required this closing argument; thus, he had to deliver it by rote. Otherwise, he could make himself insane with the grief of his own loss.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis trial is not and never was an issue of suing a poor, hapless doctor who tried his best yet lost the struggle between life and death. It\u2019s about a little girl who had an arrogant, careless doctor and <em>died<\/em> as a direct result.\u201d His client had bowed her head and her tears fell, darkening her clothes. That wasn\u2019t an act, and he felt her pain acutely for a moment before forcing himself to shake it off.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLadies and gentlemen,\u201d he said as he placed his hands on the jury box and leaned into them, making sure they could all see his scars up close and personal. \u201cThe medical community saved my life. I\u2019m grateful for the team of brilliant surgeons, specialists, nurses, and therapists who so competent and dedicated to their art and their patients that they could pull me out of the grave.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m not asking for money for my client. No amount of money can make up for the death of your child.\u201d How well he knew that. \u201cI\u2019m not asking you to pass judgment on the medical community. I\u2019m not asking you to send a message to it that it should police its own so that people like us, you and me, don\u2019t have to. I\u2019m just asking you to help me clean it up one butcher at a time so maybe Melissa Thixton\u2019s mother can start sleeping a little better at night.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He nodded his thanks to the jury and walked to his chair. There weren\u2019t that many people in the gallery, so the woman who stood against the back wall was hard to miss. He stared for a couple of seconds, his heart suddenly thundering, unable to believe what he was seeing, then turned to sit. It seemed like an eternity before court adjourned for the weekend, but then they were dismissed, and he arose to clutch his sobbing client to his chest.<\/p>\n<p>Bryce released her after a while so she could leave, and turned back to the table to gather his papers and laptop and phone, to put his briefcase back together before he confronted Giselle. He talked to his interns, piled his things into the box one of them carried, and gave them instructions.<\/p>\n<p>He took his time, sorting through the remnants of his close, feeling his client\u2019s grief and his own wrapped up in it, but now&#160;\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u201cStalker,\u201d he muttered, still feeling the sting of Lilith\u2019s parting shot at the library. He\u2019d be damned if he appeared too eager to talk to her after that.<\/p>\n<p>She waited patiently as he dawdled. Then, when they were the only two people left in the courtroom, he ambled up the aisle toward her, taking his time, blatantly looking her up and down.<\/p>\n<p>Tight oxblood leather pants clung to her legs like a second skin. She had heavy Doc Martens on her feet. A thin, voluminous white cotton blouse floated around her torso. The ties that held the front together were undone, leaving it to drape open a little and she wasn\u2019t wearing a bra. Her honey corkscrews fell past her shoulders and a wide fringed-and-beaded black scarf from her forehead to her crown held her hair away from her face. A small dog could\u2019ve jumped through the golden hoops that hung from her ears. Her face was slightly flushed and the heavy black eye makeup enhanced her exotic look. The thought crossed his mind that he could certainly stand to look at her for the rest of his life.<\/p>\n<p>He stopped and glared at her. \u201cStalking me?\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n<p>She pursed her lips \u201cYou tell me. Your admin all but drew me a map when I told her my name.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His jaw clenched. Of course she\u2019d have noticed that.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI want to talk to you,\u201d she continued breathily. \u201cI\u2019ve needed to since December and I\u2014 I just haven\u2019t been able to.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo say it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMmmm, that\u2019s going to take a while. Tell you what,\u201d she said, pushing herself off the wall. \u201cHow about you meet me at Kauffman Garden at six?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He considered. Finally, he figured that if this was all he would ever get from her, he\u2019d take it and tuck it away in his memory.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFine.\u201d Unwilling to leave her but needing to make his point, he walked away and didn\u2019t look back.<\/p>\n<p class=\"excerptchapterhead\">24: NO ONE BRIGHTER THAN YOU<\/p>\n<p class=\"sectiontop\">GISELLE STOOD IN the <span class=\"calb\">V<\/span> between her open car door and the frame, facing west, watching the sun on its course toward the horizon. Waiting.<\/p>\n<p>She had dressed carefully in a sundress of navy linen with white polka dots. The modest bustline fit closely without a hint of cleavage between the triple spaghetti straps, covered by a light white short-sleeved shrug. The full skirt fell from the empire waistline to her knees. Navy high-heeled sandals boosted her height and her courage.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d replaced her flamboyant black hair scarf with a demure white one. She\u2019d removed the kohl and kept the makeup to a minimum. She\u2019d changed out her gold hoops for pearl studs.<\/p>\n<p>This was her Sunday best.<\/p>\n<p>Six o\u2019clock came and went. Her pinging nerves settled into disappointment so acute she was nauseated. So. He\u2019d decided to get back at her for calling him a stalker by standing her up. She didn\u2019t blame him. \u201cStalker\u201d had baggage. But twenty minutes later, she was still standing there because she didn\u2019t know what else to do, where else to go. If he\u2019d been trying to punish her, he\u2019d chosen the perfect weapon.<\/p>\n<p>Her nose started to sting and she blinked back tears. She chewed on the inside of her bottom lip. She heard several cars turn in the lot, but she had her back to the drive so she didn\u2019t know when he drove in and parked. She only knew that by six forty-five, when her car shifted and dipped, she was such a jumble of emotion it was a miracle she hadn\u2019t already broken down sobbing. She didn\u2019t turn to face him because the reckoning had come <em>after<\/em> she\u2019d let down her guard, forgot her speech, and her defenses had crumbled under her hurt.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou rang?\u201d he said after a moment.<\/p>\n<p>Her heart was racing and she was trying not to sniffle, but there was nothing to be done except say what she needed to say so she could leave. ASAP. \u201cI lied to you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She felt his body shift as if he were startled, but he said nothing for a long time. \u201cYou said you gave me the wrong idea about you.\u201d His voice was grainy and hoarse. \u201cIs that what you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She hesitated. \u201cI&#160;\u2026 guess you could look at it like that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs that why you\u2019ve been brushing me off?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMmm&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Another few seconds ticked by in silence. Silence was good. Wasn\u2019t it? He hadn\u2019t asked what she\u2019d lied about. She didn\u2019t know what that meant, either.<\/p>\n<p>She glanced over her shoulder at him. He was wearing the same clothes he\u2019d had on in court today, with the exception of his suit coat and tie. The sleeves of his white dress shirt were folded and bunched at his elbows and the two top buttons at his neck were undone.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat happened between June and today that made you finally willing to talk to me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She paused to choose her words carefully. \u201cI had to tie up some loose ends.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI see,\u201d he said, although clearly he didn\u2019t. \u201cHave we talked enough for you to lie to me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt wasn\u2019t what I said. It\u2019s what I did.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay. So\u2014talk.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And there it was. Her gut clenched and she felt as if she had jumped out of a plane without a parachute, but she turned a little and leaned back against the car frame, her fingers digging into the linen of her dress to have something to hold onto.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI&#160;\u2026 um, went to Fen\u2019s party specifically to keep you engaged and occupied so Fen couldn\u2019t find you to beg for money. I\u2014\u201d She stopped and took a deep breath. \u201cI didn\u2019t know who you were,\u201d she said in a rush. \u201cBryce Kenard was just a name to me. It was a favor for people who respect you enough to want to protect you. Then I saw you and&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou did it anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe bench\u2014 Was that part of your master plan with this guy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHardly. My master plan was to bump into him and say something appropriately bitchy about all the guests coming straight out of Monty Python, which would hopefully spark a lively conversation that would last until the party wrapped up and we went our separate ways.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He laughed, surprised. \u201cAnd if you\u2019d been there for any other reason, would you and I have ended up on that bench anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUm&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d Would they? Finally, she shrugged helplessly. \u201cI&#160;\u2026 Maybe? Something would\u2019ve happened, I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay. So what\u2019s the problem?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat do you mean, \u2018What\u2019s the problem?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI mean, a year and a half ago, we met at Hale\u2019s, I insulted you, you put a gun to my head and told me I was six kinds of a bastard, then <em>I<\/em> kissed <em>you<\/em>. And you ran away.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI kissed you and I did not run away,\u201d she corrected calmly, although her heart was pounding.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEight months after that,\u201d he said right over her, \u201cnot only were you not mad at me, you lured me to a dark and quiet place where I had my way with you. And you ran away.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She had run away that time.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ve tried to talk to you several times since March. And you\u2019ve run away.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAugh! I was <em>not<\/em> running away!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWas there more that happened any of those times that I didn\u2019t notice or don\u2019t remember?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He knew. He knew what he did to her, taking her on and making her back down. He wanted her to acknowledge it, give it words, make it real.<\/p>\n<p>When she said nothing, he sighed wearily. \u201cI just wanted to talk to you. I tried to make that perfectly clear.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His suddenly resigned tone caught her off guard. \u201cI was&#160;\u2026 ashamed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He looked at her sharply. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBecause that woman who lured you to the dark and quiet place is not me. I don\u2019t know where that came from, so if that\u2019s what you\u2019re expecting, you\u2019re not going to get it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe already had something between us. Why didn\u2019t you just come over and tell me the problem up front?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat wasn\u2019t the point!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe <em>point<\/em> is that you wouldn\u2019t have done that with anyone else, and <em>I<\/em> didn\u2019t do anything to you that <em>I<\/em> wouldn\u2019t have done anyway.\u201d She went hot as he held her stare, one eyebrow cocked at her as if daring her to comment. \u201cDoes your boss know you\u2019re Knox\u2019s cousin?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Giselle\u2019s mind went blank. \u201cExcuse me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He grinned suddenly, wickedly, his teeth flashing white, pretty against his dark face. Her heart picked up its pace. \u201cI\u2019ll take that as a no.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s the eyes, right?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He barked a genuinely amused laugh and wiped a hand over his mouth, but his amusement slowly faded. After a very long silence, he murmured, \u201cI&#160;\u2026 have my own confession to make.\u201d He took a deep breath, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and bowed his head. \u201cI saw you at Leah\u2019s visitation. I overheard Knox ask you to go home with him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her heart cracked further. \u201cOh,\u201d she croaked. \u201cThat\u2019s why you were angry with me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI haven\u2019t\u2014 I didn\u2019t\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He held up a hand. \u201cYou don\u2019t owe me an explanation for anything. I was wrong and I was wrong to take it out on you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid you think\u2014\u201d She didn\u2019t want to know. \u201cI just found out everybody in society thinks I\u2019m Sebastian\u2019s mistress. Did <em>you<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His hesitation was all the answer she needed and tears stung her eyes. \u201cEhhh,\u201d he began doubtfully, \u201cnot&#160;\u2026 really. You didn\u2019t act like lovers and he\u2019s not known for his prowess with women, so it was shocking that he showed up with any woman at all.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI knew that was what you thought of me, but I thought it was because I kissed you and then because of what I did with you at Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s really why you were avoiding me, isn\u2019t it? You didn\u2019t think I\u2019d believe you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her mouth dropped open. \u201cThe <em>hell?!<\/em> You <em>sneered<\/em> at me! <em>Twice!<\/em> Why would I think you\u2019d believe me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He took a deep breath. \u201cUm&#160;\u2026 yeah. The look on your face was\u2014heartbreaking.\u201d Giselle pulled her lips between her teeth. \u201cWhen you ran out on me, I didn\u2019t know what to think. I didn\u2019t care who you were sleeping with, Taight or whoever or how many\u2014it was that it was <em>Knox<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She was still hurt, but now also completely confused. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKnox is my best friend from UCLA,\u201d he said flatly. \u201cWe were roommates.\u201d Giselle\u2019s eyes widened. \u201cA couple of years after my wife and I moved here, she told me she\u2019d been having an affair with him and I&#160;\u2026 didn\u2019t know what to believe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That wasn\u2019t what she expected. \u201cDid you sneer at him too?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t remember,\u201d he snapped, but then he took a deep breath and said with forced calm, \u201cHe walked away.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Geeeee<\/em>, do you blame him?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut after Fen\u2019s party,\u201d he continued, ignoring her jab, \u201cKnox summoned me and told me the whole shebang. Fen, the proviso, Taight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen did this happen?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIn March.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That explained that. \u201cIf you were so mad at him and you thought I was a whore\u2014\u201d He grimaced. \u201c\u2014why did you bother going?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He sighed heavily. \u201cYou. I needed to know what I was missing. He knows my taste in women and he knew I\u2019d be stewing about it. He gave me the answers but he refused to give me your phone number, tell me where you live, set up a date. Nothing. He said he wasn\u2019t going to make it easy for me and I needed to pay penance for being a bastard to you both. That I needed to work for it so I\u2019d value it.\u201d He paused. \u201cHence, stalking. I knew where you worked, but Geoff told me to drop it because if I hadn\u2019t gotten your phone number by then, you must have your reasons. I knew you were in law school, so&#160;\u2026&#160;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She wrapped her arms around herself, although she had no reason to be cold. \u201cI\u2019m assuming Knox <em>did<\/em> tell you what he and I <em>haven\u2019t<\/em> done?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes. He was very clear on that point.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo now I don\u2019t know if you were chasing me because Knox redeemed your low opinion of me or if you want me in spite of your low opinion of me.\u201d Dammit. She really was going to cry. \u201cThat\u2019s just so&#160;\u2026 <em>flattering<\/em>. I should\u2019ve gotten a clue when you called me Lilith.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He sighed. \u201cWhen I first saw you, before I overheard your conversation\u2014 You look like a woman in a painting I saw once.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo I\u2019ve been told. But usually people aren\u2019t calling me a slut. Is that why you asked me to go home with you that night, thinking I was sleeping with Knox <em>and<\/em> Sebastian? To get back at Knox? Getting laid by someone who wanted you for something other than your money was a bonus?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His protest was purely defensive. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t like that. I wanted to stake my claim. Take you away from&#160;\u2026 whoever. Keep you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Keep<\/em> me?\u201d she squeaked. \u201cLike a hunting trophy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He groaned and dropped his face into his hand, rubbed the bridge of his nose. \u201cGiselle, I wanted <em>you<\/em>. I was jealous, mad you weren\u2019t mine, and I\u2019ve <em>been<\/em> mad about it for two years. I really didn\u2019t think about it too much.\u201d He looked at her without raising his head. \u201cIt was the heat of the moment. I\u2019m a guy. We aren\u2019t that complicated.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd this?\u201d she asked quietly, his <em>I wanted you<\/em> whispering to her, his <em>keep you<\/em> softening her. \u201cYou\u2019re a trial lawyer. Think deeper and explain it to me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He shrugged helplessly. \u201cGiselle, I\u2019m <em>sorry<\/em>. Is there anything I can do or say so you\u2019ll give me a chance?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She hooted. \u201cI came here thinking you were going to truss me up like a Christmas goose for conning you and send me packing. Now I\u2019m pissed off and you\u2019re the one begging forgiveness. What am I supposed to say?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The silence fell between them. She was dizzy, spinning between anger and giddiness. She was sixteen again, and her crush had just asked her to dance\u2014but only because he thought she was an easy lay.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, yeah. <em>That<\/em>. \u201cI\u2019m a virgin.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know,\u201d he said low.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd I don\u2019t like people in my personal space, <em>including<\/em> men I find attractive.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He tensed. \u201cThen&#160;\u2026 why did you haul me into your car that night?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBecause you hurt my feelings,\u201d she snapped. Anger was so much easier. She could hide her bruised infatuation behind it. \u201cWould you rather I have slugged you? I have a hell of a right cross.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>His mouth quirked and she suddenly saw the humor in what she\u2019d said. His expression turned wry. \u201cDo you kiss every strange man who hurts your feelings?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That pulled a puff of laughter out of her and her smile came with a blush. \u201cWell.\u201d She ducked her head and cleared her throat.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo&#160;\u2026 your feelings are hurt again, right?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She glared at him from under her brow. \u201cDon\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He grinned and pushed himself away from her car, striding around the back to the passenger side. \u201cWe have to hash this out and I\u2019m not going to do it in this heat on an empty stomach,\u201d he said. \u201cFind us a place to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It occurred to her to protest his abrupt command, but she figured this was a battle best left un-picked. She dropped into the driver\u2019s seat and watched him fold his big body into her little car. Once he\u2019d settled and returned her look, he did a double take. \u201cWho hit you?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n<p><em>Now<\/em> Fen\u2019s handprint decided to show up. A chuckle escaped her, then it turned into a rolling laugh. \u201cThe other guy looks worse.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He reached up and lightly caressed that cheek with his knuckles, melting her. She wanted to close her eyes and press her cheek into his hand.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m <em>so<\/em> sorry, Giselle,\u201d he whispered. \u201cAll of it, everything. And I\u2019m sorry for being late; I had an appointment I forgot about and I didn\u2019t know how to get in touch with you. I was <em>so<\/em> glad to see you\u2014\u201d He took a deep breath. \u201cCan we start over? Where we should\u2019ve started a year and a half ago if I hadn\u2019t been an ass? Please?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019d like that,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n<p>He flashed that pretty smile for her again and said, \u201cSo are you going to drive or are you going to let me starve?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She laughed then. \u201cYou know I\u2019m going to pick the most expensive restaurant in town, right?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was counting on it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Still chuckling, she started the car, then drove them to a steakhouse on the Country Club Plaza. Although it was only a mile away from Kauffman Garden, the silence during the drive made her even more nervous than she already was. By the time she found a parking spot, she was a complete wreck.<\/p>\n<p>She turned off the engine and bolted out of the car as fast as she could, needing to get away from his raw sexuality so she could breathe again. She sensed him coming up behind her, and when he splayed his large hand across her back, it was all she could do not to lean back against his body.<\/p>\n<p>His momentum took him around her. She looked up just in time to close her eyes as he kissed her. Softly at first, and then a little deeper. Her hands\u2014 She didn\u2019t know what to do with her hands and her arms, and she oh, so wanted to touch him. Hesitantly, lightly, she furrowed her left hand in his hair and laid her right hand on his chest, her thumb on the little nub of nipple through the fabric of his dress shirt and undershirt. He pulled her breath from her, and she stopped thinking, stopped caring about everything as his tongue found hers.<\/p>\n<p>They kissed. Long, slow, lazy. Giselle hummed into his mouth.<\/p>\n<p>He pulled away from her finally and she opened her eyes to again to find his vivid green eyes studying her. \u201cI\u2019m hungry,\u201d he repeated softly, although this time the words held so much, much more. \u201cCome eat with me. Talk with me. Laugh with me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"wingding\">\u203b<\/p>\n<div class=\"navblock\">\n<p class=\"leftnavblock\">&#160;<\/p>\n<p class=\"rightnavblock\"><a class=\"arrowbig\" href=\"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/thebooks\/stay\/\">Book 2  \u2192<\/a><br \/>A childhood crush. An adolescent debt.<br \/>Two successful adults who have no reason to try.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"footnotes\">\n<p class=\"footnoteline\">______________________________<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisofootnote\"><span class='footnote' id='fn-1353-1'><a href='#fnref-1353-1'>1<\/a>.<\/span>&#160;&#160;&#160;A <span class=\"catb\"><em>temple<\/em><\/span> is a higher place of worship to receive deeper doctrinal instruction than what\u2019s offered at church on Sunday. The temple is not a regular meetinghouse, and vice versa. The building where Sunday services are held and activities are scheduled throughout the week is a <span class=\"catb\"><em>chapel<\/em><\/span>.<br \/>\n&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;In the temple, one makes sacred covenants to God, which, if broken, have more grave temporal and spiritual consequences than for people who have not made these covenants. Young men and women who have been called to serve missions go to the temple for the first time as part of their preparation.<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisofootnote\"><span class='footnote' id='fn-1353-2'><a href='#fnref-1353-2'>2<\/a>.<\/span>&#160;&#160;&#160;To enter the temple, one must have a <span class=\"catb\"><em>temple recommend<\/em><\/span>, which is acquired after successful interviews with one\u2019s bishop then with the stake president. This interview consists of a series of questions to assess one\u2019s worthiness, e.g., do you believe in the atonement of Christ, do you support the prophet and his apostles, do you pay your tithing, are you chaste, do you pay your child support, do you refrain from abusing your family members, do you obey the <span class=\"catb\"><em>Word of Wisdom<\/em><\/span> (no smoking, no drinking alcohol, no coffee or tea), are you honest with your fellow man.<br \/>\n&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;The answers are either yes or no. The interviewer is not to go off script. The interviewee is not to volunteer information except when asked if s\/he has any <span class=\"catb\"><em>unresolved issues<\/em><\/span> (deep, dark secrets) that would make one unworthy to enter into God\u2019s presence and make covenants with him.<br \/>\n&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;The point of the exercise is to judge <em>oneself<\/em> worthy to enter into God\u2019s presence, depending on how the interviewee interprets broad general guidelines, e.g., the drinking of tea: Is herbal tea forbidden? Tithes: Is it ten percent of gross or net wages? The variables can be endless, but the interviewer\u2019s role is to determine serious sins such as, but not limited to, fornication, adultery, spousal abuse, failure to pay child support, fraud, child sexual abuse, and (rarely) apostasy. If necessary, appropriate authorities are notified that a crime has been\/is being committed.<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisofootnote\"><span class='footnote' id='fn-1353-3'><a href='#fnref-1353-3'>3<\/a>.<\/span>&#160;&#160;&#160;Historically, women who did not serve missions went to the temple for the first time to get married. It has not been uncommon for older single women to postpone this ritual until such a time as they married or until they got tired of waiting for Mr. Right.&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;<span class=\"small75\">Or died of old age.<\/span>&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; <span class=\"small65\">Still a virgin.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"provisofootnote\"><span class='footnote' id='fn-1353-4'><a href='#fnref-1353-4'>4<\/a>.<\/span>&#160;&#160;&#160;A couple who is said to have been \u201cmarried in the temple\u201d is legally married. A couple who is married legally elsewhere may be <span class=\"catb\"><em>sealed<\/em><\/span> to each other at a later date. This is common amongst couples whose nonmember families cannot attend the temple, or women who really really really want a big shindig and\/or a dress that wouldn\u2019t pass modesty muster at the temple.<br \/>&nbsp;<br \/>The process of \u201cgetting married in the temple\u201d is as follows:<br \/>\n&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;The couple goes to the temple and presents their temple recommends at the front desk. They go to their respective dressing rooms and dress in plain white. The bride will usually wear the wedding dress she\u2019ll have pictures taken in if it\u2019s not too elaborate. Occasionally, a bride will wear a simple white dress that one would normally wear in the temple anyway.<br \/>\n&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;The bride and groom go to a <span class=\"catb\"><em>sealing room<\/em><\/span> where loved ones may or may not be gathered, as people who don\u2019t have a temple recommend can\u2019t attend. The couple kneels at an altar across from each other, holds hands, and makes their covenants to each other and God. The officiator (<span class=\"catb\"><em>sealer<\/em><\/span>) and witnesses sign the license. A ring exchange is not part of the ritual, so there is generally a little time set aside for an informal one before leaving the temple.<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisofootnote\"><span class='footnote' id='fn-1353-5'><a href='#fnref-1353-5'>5<\/a>.<\/span>&#160;&#160;&#160;<span class=\"catb\"><em>Sacrament meeting<\/em><\/span> is the main service held in a chapel, during which the <span class=\"catb\"><em>sacrament<\/em><\/span> (communion) is passed. Following that is <span class=\"catb\"><em>Sunday school<\/em><\/span> or, on alternating Sundays, auxiliary meetings (i.e., men\u2019s [<span class=\"catb\"><em>priesthood meeting<\/em><\/span>], women\u2019s [<span class=\"catb\"><em>Relief Society<\/em><\/span>], youth [<span class=\"catb\"><em>Mutual<\/em><\/span>], children [<span class=\"catb\"><em>Primary<\/em><\/span>]).<\/p>\n<p class=\"provisofootnote\"><span class='footnote' id='fn-1353-6'><a href='#fnref-1353-6'>6<\/a>.<\/span>&#160;&#160;&#160;Missionaries work in pairs, and a missionary is never to be alone without his <span class=\"catb\"><em>companion<\/em><\/span>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"date\">20260331<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tales of Dunham #1, 3rd Ed\u00a9 2008, 2015, 2026Moriah Jovan314,000 words (750 pages) Book 1 in the Dunham universe Buy direct: &nbsp; Lulu hardcover Amazon Kindle \u2022 paperback Barnes &#038; Noble Nook \u2022 paperback Apple Books Google Play Books Kobo eBooks Lawyers, Guns &#038; Money In 1985, Knox Hilliard\u2019s uncle killed his father to marry [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":18726,"menu_order":21,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1353","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1353"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1353"}],"version-history":[{"count":659,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1353\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25650,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1353\/revisions\/25650"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/18726"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1353"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}