{"id":13103,"date":"2025-07-10T14:27:55","date_gmt":"2025-07-10T19:27:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/?page_id=13103"},"modified":"2026-03-31T01:16:21","modified_gmt":"2026-03-31T06:16:21","slug":"la-giralda","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/extras\/vignettes-outtakes\/dirty-little-secrets\/la-giralda\/","title":{"rendered":"La Giralda"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

JUNE 2007<\/p>\n

Seville, Spain<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

GISELLE FIDGETED THE entire way to Seville to catch up with her cousin Victoria, wishing she\u2019d put the brakes on this excursion as soon as it came up. She was nervous, wringing her hands and looking out the plane window.<\/p>\n

First, she was going to have to deal with her feelings about Victoria, which teetered on a precarious edge of envy, resentment, awe, love, shame, hero worship, and wistful longing. It was easy enough to forget about it for years on end when she lived in the U.S. and Victoria lived in Spain, and rarely visited. Except for one brief conversation about the connection between food and sex during one of Victoria\u2019s very rare visits home\u2014the one that had guided Giselle on her first date with Bryce\u2014she simply wasn\u2019t part of Giselle\u2019s life\u2014until now.<\/p>\n

Second, she was going to have to deal with coming face to face with a man she\u2019d found devastatingly attractive the first and last time she\u2019d met him, in matador\u2019s clothes, covered in blood, after she\u2019d watched him kill two bulls in some ring in southern France. She\u2019d sat silent throughout the entire performance, entranced, not hearing a word Sebastian said to explain it. Sebastian thought she\u2019d found it boring and the matador himself uninteresting, which was the impression she wanted to give both of them. She\u2019d be damned if she\u2019d let the stars in her eyes shine to people who\u2019d be able to tell immediately where her hormones were.<\/p>\n

Giselle had been invited to Victoria\u2019s wedding to the guy ten years ago, but she could claim Decadence as an excuse to decline. It wasn\u2019t that Victoria had married a guy Giselle found achingly attractive, but that she\u2019d caught the most wanted bachelor in a whole country, because of course she would.<\/p>\n

Yes, Giselle had finally found her own romance novel hero, but there was that little irritation in her soul that was turning her once-unrelated feelings about Victoria and Emilio into a pearl. And now two disparate issues were commingled.<\/p>\n

Bryce picked up her hand and massaged it. He knew something was off. She\u2019d told him about her teenage tussle with Victoria, how hurt she was, the letters and not knowing what to do with them because Victoria wasn\u2019t oblivious to what she\u2019d done but she didn\u2019t understand why Giselle had been so devastated that her supermodel-ish cousin found her beyond help.<\/p>\n

Giselle hadn\u2019t been unaware of how to fix her deficiencies, except what diet would actually work. She knew how<\/em> to make herself more attractive, but she was busy and her money was all tied up elsewhere. Victoria had grown up in a well-off family, so a lack of resources wasn\u2019t something Victoria could relate to.<\/p>\n

What Giselle hadn\u2019t<\/em> told Bryce was that she had reacted to Emilio the same way she\u2019d reacted to Bryce\u2014instant, overwhelming, and very painful attraction. She\u2019d never told anybody. She hadn\u2019t even written it down in her journal, in case Sebastian ever got his hands on it. It was so rare<\/em> for her to take one look at a man and just die a little inside that he couldn\u2019t be hers.<\/p>\n

Her pain was compounded by the timing: She\u2019d met Emilio not long before seeing that married man in Knox\u2019s doorway. If that guy hadn\u2019t been married at the time and he\u2019d made some overture, she\u2019d have\u2014<\/p>\n

Her brow scrunched. She actually didn\u2019t know what she would\u2019ve done.<\/p>\n

Probably thrown up the same wall she\u2019d thrown up when she met Emilio.<\/p>\n

Attracted but frightened.<\/p>\n

Wanting<\/em> but still unable to let anyone touch her.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t touch me, Giselle. I don\u2019t want to catch your fat.<\/em><\/p>\n

She was terrified that she might not be able to hide her feelings about Emilio, and she didn\u2019t want to hurt Bryce. Their marriage was only a few months old. They were still sorting things out and it was so difficult, for so many reasons.<\/p>\n

Victoria or<\/em> the devastating matador, she could deal with, but not both at the same time and in front of<\/em> her new husband\u2014 It was a nightmare, but passing Victoria by while she was in Europe would have raised more questions than she could answer, and there was no way her family\u2014including her husband\u2014would let her get away with \u201cI don\u2019t want to talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her third issue was that she couldn\u2019t in any way predict what Victoria would say or do when she saw Giselle now that she\u2019d acquired the resources she\u2019d needed to turn into her vision of herself. Victoria was always going to be more beautiful because there was only so much clothes and makeup and contacts and braces and good hair products could do.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s eating you?\u201d Bryce asked quietly. \u201cThere\u2019s more going on there than just seeing Victoria because no other woman can hold a candle to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle laughed sadly. \u201cYou haven\u2019t met Victoria.\u201d<\/p>\n

She would never have said a word about it, but the second Sebastian found out Bryce was taking her to Europe for their honeymoon, he\u2019d whipped out his phone and enthusiastically texted Victoria that she was going to have visitors, hyping Bryce up for a lovely reunion with the last member of the pack.<\/p>\n

The only person in her family who knew how much Victoria had hurt her, besides Victoria herself, was \u00c9tienne, to whom she had gone to help her deal with her issues, and he wasn\u2019t going to blab. He didn\u2019t care enough. Sebastian would have no reason to suspect Giselle wouldn\u2019t be ecstatic to see her again, and<\/p>\n

Sometimes, a guy will catch my eye. And keep it. And I want to talk to him, but I never do.<\/em><\/p>\n

he certainly<\/em> didn\u2019t know Emilio was one of those guys<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Emilio hadn\u2019t \u201ccaught her eye.\u201d He\u2019d killed her.<\/p>\n

Backed into a corner, then, Giselle had called Victoria and made arrangements. Victoria was shocked, but seemed happy to have the contact.<\/p>\n

Thrilled<\/em> would be more like it.<\/p>\n

Giselle didn\u2019t know what to do with that.<\/p>\n

The plane touched down. She took a deep breath and stood when it was time to deplane, wondering if her choice of clothing had been wise. In the summer, she typically wore white shorts, Keds or espadrilles, and a bikini or halter top, tight tee shirt or babydoll top that turned men\u2019s heads and made them objectify her. This hadn\u2019t changed once she\u2019d married Bryce. He wanted men to notice her, to lust, then see their shock when they saw the \u201cmonster\u201d she loved.<\/p>\n

\u201cTell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

She had racked her brains for the appropriate outfits to wear while visiting Victoria, but couldn\u2019t think of anything appropriate to wear for<\/em> Victoria. She didn\u2019t need to impress<\/em> Victoria (or did she?). She needed to be the best casual touristy version of herself. The best she could do was white shorts, simple Keds, and an emerald eyelet babydoll that showed some cleavage. Bryce really<\/em> liked this top.<\/p>\n

No, it was okay. She needed familiar clothes. She couldn\u2019t do this in clothes she didn\u2019t have a relationship with.<\/p>\n

She fingered her elaborate wedding ring and played with her emerald and diamond tennis bracelet.<\/p>\n

Look, you\u2019re as pretty as you can make yourself. You\u2019re married, which is something nobody thought you could be. You\u2019re married to a man richer than Emilio.<\/em><\/p>\n

Every detail of that should matter, but it didn\u2019t. She was fourteen again, twenty, completely at the mercy of her need for other people\u2019s approval.<\/p>\n

They got through customs, then headed to the baggage claim, Giselle surreptitiously looking around for her cousin. Victoria couldn\u2019t be missed.<\/p>\n

\u201cGiselle,\u201d Bryce murmured, gently squeezing her hand and tugging her around to see her<\/em> (drop-dead gorgeous as ever) there next to him<\/em> (older but still devastating)\u2014and they were both gaping at her as if she had two heads.<\/p>\n

Giselle\u2019s stomach roiled in pain and fear, so she couldn\u2019t help it.<\/p>\n

She bolted.<\/p>\n

Dodging tourists, she headed to\u2014 <\/p>\n

Who knew. <\/p>\n

She just had to get away<\/em>, away from those expressions of horror, and not even Bryce\u2019s bellow could halt her.<\/p>\n

Bryce couldn\u2019t outrun Giselle even though his legs were longer. His injuries still pained him too much. If he ran Giselle\u2019s whole route with her, which he could<\/em> do, he\u2019d be limping and in pain for the next two days.<\/p>\n

Further, because she was smaller, she could slip through a crowd better than he could.<\/p>\n

So it panicked her completely when he grasped her wrist and pulled her up short. She was about to capitulate, but then she realized it wasn\u2019t Bryce. Her karate training kicked in immediately, but he<\/em> was used to dodging bulls, so one small woman was no challenge at all.<\/p>\n

\u201cGiselle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease don\u2019t touch me,\u201d she whispered, panting, in tears, trying to jerk her wrist out of his hand. \u201cPlease.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you going to run again?\u201d<\/p>\n

She pulled her teeth between her lips and tugged at her wrist again, unable to look at him. \u201cPlease let me go.\u201d<\/p>\n

He released her reluctantly. \u201cWhy did you run?\u201d<\/p>\n

Because I don\u2019t want you and Victoria to look at me like that.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThis wasn\u2019t my idea,\u201d she blurted.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was not Victoria\u2019s idea to meet with you again, either,\u201d he said with amusement. \u201cShe was afraid\u2014 Well, of this. Or something like it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Please stop talking to me.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGiselle!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ah, and there came her husband, striding through the crowd easily because he was a giant here, bigger than \u00c9tienne, even, with a frightening face, and people simply got out of his way. He was the only man she could bear to let touch her.<\/p>\n

He reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into his chest and letting her bury her face into his shirt.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle heard Victoria\u2019s plaintive whisper, but she wasn\u2019t necessarily talking to Giselle. She was asking Emilio. Or Bryce. Or the Lord. Or anybody.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe looks on your faces weren\u2019t welcoming,\u201d Bryce said flatly. \u201cAnd now I can see why she\u2019s been so tense. We\u2019ll take the next flight back to Paris.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Victoria cried. \u201cGiselle, I\u2019m sorry!<\/em> Seeing you was like looking in a mirror!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle stilled, her tears continuing to flow, but Bryce shifted. <\/p>\n

A mirror. She\u2019s saying you look like her.<\/em><\/p>\n

She doesn\u2019t lie.<\/em><\/p>\n

She can\u2019t lie.<\/em><\/p>\n

She just blurts things out because she has no filter.<\/em><\/p>\n

They were all silent for a moment, letting people flow around them. Nobody cared; airports were magnets for emotional people.<\/p>\n

\u201cI see it,\u201d Bryce said slowly after a long while. \u201cYou\u2019re taller. You don\u2019t have any blonde, and your freckles are more prominent, but \u2026 it\u2019s remarkable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEmilio Bautista,\u201d said that<\/em> man, and now Giselle was even more humiliated.<\/p>\n

Bryce\u2019s body shook when he shook hands with Emilio. \u201cBryce Kenard.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShall we get a drink and allow them to deal with this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that\u2019s a good idea. Giselle, go with Victoria and see what you can come up with.\u201d<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t an order. It was a suggestion, a plea perhaps, because he didn\u2019t like to feel her hurt any more than she liked to feel his.<\/p>\n

She took a deep breath and turned to look at her cousin who\u2019d devastated her so long ago. Shouldn\u2019t she be over it by now? Now Victoria had tears running down her face, too, but she was pretty when she cried and her perfect, if dramatic, makeup stayed perfect and dramatic. Giselle preferred the natural mineral makeups because they didn\u2019t sting her eyes, and did her face so it looked like she wore none at all.<\/p>\n

Victoria was watching Giselle as warily as Giselle was watching Victoria.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d Giselle said low, stepping slowly away from Bryce, steering well clear of Emilio, and following Victoria\u2019s lead.<\/p>\n

The heat hit her hard when they emerged from the airport, and, as usual, Victoria was attracting a lot of attention. She was in white palazzo pants and a mint green tunic that was totally and completely modest.<\/p>\n

Giselle took a longer look at Victoria\u2019s trousers and realized she was wearing her garments.<\/p>\n

Then again, Victoria had always been modest. No bikini tops in the summertime for her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know the right thing to say,\u201d Victoria said abruptly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t, either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI never do. I try to think about what TV people would say. It\u2019s the only way I can talk to people when I don\u2019t know what to say.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle puffed a surprised laugh.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m serious,\u201d she said matter-of-factly. \u201cLike, right now, I think I should say you look great, but that\u2019s the touchy subject, right? I think it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

This might not be so bad. Victoria was ethereally beautiful, but she didn\u2019t have a social grace to her name. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know if we\u2019re supposed to stand here and yell at each other or hug or calmly talk it out or\u2014 I know you don\u2019t like to be touched, or people being too much in your personal space. I even know why. So I can\u2019t hug you. You could yell at me. I deserve it. I wouldn\u2019t yell back. It\u2019s just that the variations on what TV people would do are endless yet I don\u2019t think any of it is applicable to this particular situation.\u201d<\/p>\n

That made Giselle laugh again, partly because it was funny and partly because Victoria wasn\u2019t trying<\/em> to be funny.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour husband\u2019s beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle stopped cold and gaped at her, for the first time seeing her, really seeing<\/em> her, and there was nothing in her face but mild interest. What was Giselle supposed to say to that? \u201cUh \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he is,\u201d she said, again matter-of-factly. \u201cI can say that, right? Is that bad?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm \u2026 no,\u201d Giselle said slowly, still stunned, and trying to choose her words carefully. \u201cIt\u2019s just \u2026 most people don\u2019t see him that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria looked at Giselle, shocked. \u201cThey don\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>\n

Good heavens. Victoria really<\/em> didn\u2019t see how awful and scary Bryce looked. It was what Giselle found beautiful about him, but Victoria\u2014<\/p>\n

\u201cHe has burn scars all over his face,\u201d she said bluntly. \u201cDid you not notice those?\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria shrugged helplessly, clearly confused. \u201cYeah \u2026 ?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about him is beautiful to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria scowled. \u201cDon\u2019t make me think about it, Giselle. It just is<\/em> and it\u2019s not important why<\/em>. The last time I thought about why<\/em> someone was beautiful, you ended up hating me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle paused to think about that in terms of who said it. \u201cSo \u2026 you saw me as beautiful \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. And I started thinking about your real problem, which was that you needed to see yourself that way so you could chip through that block of ice around you. And then I realized that the solution to your problem required money and time, neither of which I had enough of, and I was angry at the stores for not having what you needed. So I was getting angrier and angrier at the stores and I had no one to yell at and\u2014 Well. I have no filter. As you know.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I did not then nor do I now understand whatever it is you did or needed to do or find or whatever to lose weight. Your problem was never your weight because you weren\u2019t that fat. You were chubby<\/em>. Your problem was Aunt Trudy made you feel fat and because your mother was ashamed, she made you clothes that made you look fatter. Pretty sure what you saw in the mirror was triple what you really were. What you needed was to be shown how attractive you are, and then how to interact with men in a romantic or sexual way when you are attractive. And since I<\/em> am beautiful, and you look almost exactly like me\u2014although I didn\u2019t realize it at the time\u2014it should<\/em> have been an easy thing to do. And it wasn\u2019t. I wouldn\u2019t go to the trouble of trying to frame you so you could see it, too, if I didn\u2019t see it. I don\u2019t care enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo \u2026 that\u2014 What you did. That was you being thoughtful<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shrugged. \u201cApparently I can do that, but I never notice. If I try<\/em>, it always turns out badly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle thought about that. Victoria thought Bryce was beautiful, and he was<\/em>, but not in any way normal people defined it.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d you meet your husband?\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle narrowed her eyes suspiciously. \u201cAre you asking because you\u2019re curious or because it\u2019s what you think TV people should say?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle blinked. \u201cUh \u2026 \u201d Oh, how to begin. Did she want to tell her, Victoria who\u2019d always been totally there with church teachings? Victoria would never have consented to sex before marriage. Victoria knew who she was, knew her worth, couldn\u2019t be conned, seduced, or worn down. Victoria was rock solid. It was her<\/em> way or no way at all, and men complied or they hit the road.<\/p>\n

In that area, again, Giselle felt inferior. She was uncomfortable with having had sex before marriage for many reasons, maybe some days remorseful, but if Bryce hadn\u2019t married her, it would have been a bazillion times worse.<\/p>\n

\u201cI slept with Bryce before we got married,\u201d she said flatly and waited for Victoria\u2019s judgment.<\/p>\n

\u201cMm \u2026 okay. But there must have been something there before that, right? I mean, you didn\u2019t meet him in bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh \u2026 you don\u2019t care?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAugh! NO, I DON\u2019T CARE!<\/em> I like listening to people\u2019s stories. Why is this difficult to understand?\u201d<\/p>\n

She\u2019s serious.<\/em><\/p>\n

Well, why not? She was just curious. She wouldn\u2019t<\/em> care. More importantly, she wouldn\u2019t judge. \u00c9tienne certainly hadn\u2019t. Giselle understood how \u00c9tienne thought, but it was difficult to apply it to Victoria because she didn\u2019t know<\/em> Victoria.<\/p>\n

So she dove in while they strolled around the airport in Seville, Spain.<\/p>\n

Victoria just listened.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2026 and now we\u2019re still trying to figure out how to live together.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria nodded. \u201cWe had to do that, too. It took about five years.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle gasped. \u201cI thought\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know if you know this, but Emilio was very promiscuous before we met.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Giselle said in a small voice. It was yet another point of hurt to her, that even such a promiscuous man wouldn\u2019t want her.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s difficult for me sometimes. He has a thing<\/em> about him. It makes him irresistible.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Giselle breathed before she could catch it.<\/p>\n

Victoria laughed suddenly. \u201cSo we look quite a bit alike. We\u2019re dressed in the same colors. I\u2019m attracted to your husband and you\u2019re attracted to mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

That wasn\u2019t funny, and Giselle could feel herself flush hotly.<\/p>\n

Victoria nudged her with an elbow. \u201cLaugh, Giselle. It just means we\u2019re more alike than we are different.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m embarrassed,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d she demanded. Since Victoria had stopped, Giselle did too, shocked that Victoria was angry<\/em>. \u201cWhy are you embarrassed to be able to feel those things? I couldn\u2019t, for a long time. I couldn\u2019t feel those things. Being able to feel those things and knowing what they are when you\u2019re feeling them is a blessing<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle stared at her, utterly lost. \u201cWhat \u2026 are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooking at a man and knowing right then you want to have sex with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle\u2019s jaw went slack, then decided to talk to Victoria like she talked to \u00c9tienne. \u201cRephrase that so I can understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was a virgin when Emilio and I got married.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShocking,\u201d Giselle drawled. \u201cWhereas I<\/em> couldn\u2019t control myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria waved that off. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t because I was trying<\/em>, Giselle. It was because I am incredibly difficult to arouse. I thought I was frigid and I didn\u2019t care. You won\u2019t ever know what a blessing it was that you knew what it was when you met Bryce. And, like a Dunham, you took what you wanted. I could never have done that because I wouldn\u2019t have known what I was feeling. Those feelings were there, but they were so faint, you see. Emilio had to work really hard to get me to a place you\u2019d been for years before you met Bryce. Staying a virgin would have been easier than going where Emilio wanted to take me because I didn\u2019t understand it. Whereas you craved exactly that, but didn\u2019t know any men you could bear to touch you that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle was shocked into speechlessness.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou had more discipline than I did, and more courage, too. I had no practice at being<\/em> disciplined. You know what? We still have to use lube. Every single time. That\u2019s how difficult it is. But you\u2019re a natural. That\u2019s why you didn\u2019t want Emilio to touch you, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

She shrugged as if Giselle had answered the question. \u201cI feel that, but not very much at first. And you know what else? I didn\u2019t even have the courage to tell Emilio I loved him, so much I was willing to leave Spain to get away from him if he wouldn\u2019t commit to me. So my mind processes it like this: Being a virgin when I got married doesn\u2019t make me virtuous. I didn\u2019t have to work at being virtuous. Giving into temptation doesn\u2019t make you sinful. You\u2019d been working at it for a lot longer than you should have had to and you were tired. I was a coward for not telling Emilio I loved him and demanding what I deserved. You were courageous in taking what you wanted regardless of how it might turn out. I\u2019m not better or worse than you are, and you\u2019re not better or worse than I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings who think themselves good because they have crippled paws,\u2019\u201d Giselle mumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat’d you say?\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle cleared her throat and repeated it.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh. Nietzsche. Yes. Yes, exactly! The problem here is that you\u2019re still attracted to Emilio, and you didn\u2019t want to be then, and you certainly<\/em> don\u2019t want to be now because you\u2019re married and he\u2019s<\/em> married, so somehow acknowledging that is sinful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle gulped. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not. Sinful, I mean. We\u2019re human. Sexual attraction is part of being human. Notice, acknowledge, throw it in the back of your mind\u2019s closet, go on with your life. There\u2019s no sin in acknowledging reality, even if it flies in the face of what you were taught.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle bowed her head to think. Wasn\u2019t that exactly<\/em> what she was trying to get Bryce to understand? That his Mia Yoshida fantasies weren\u2019t<\/em> sinful, much less that he deserved to die in a fire for them, that four innocent children deserved to die in a fire for their father\u2019s thoughts.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think,\u201d Giselle began slowly, trying to sort it out with someone who wouldn\u2019t understand, but who also didn\u2019t care and didn\u2019t judge, \u201cmaybe it\u2019s not my<\/em> attraction to them<\/em>, but knowing that they<\/em> wouldn\u2019t be equally attracted to me<\/em>. It \u2026 hurts.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria was silent for a moment. \u201cI understand,\u201d she said simply. \u201cNot in a sexual attraction context, but professionally. Yes, I see the problem. But your assumption\u2019s flawed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle huffed. \u201cI was fat, my hair was beyond frizzy, and I can wear exactly four colors without looking dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria cast her an arch look. \u201cHow would you know<\/em> if a man\u2019s not attracted to you if you don\u2019t have enough information?\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle was completely flummoxed.<\/p>\n

\u201cTen years ago, I just knew<\/em> I was going to get fired, and then suddenly I\u2019m giving a keynote address at a world conference and got tenure. I just knew<\/em> I would never be able to get married because no man could stand to be around me for more than twenty-four hours, and then I’m married. Just like that.\u201d She snapped her fingers. \u201cMy assumptions were flawed because I didn’t have enough information.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour assumptions were reasonable,\u201d Giselle shot back, irritated, \u201cgiven your history. My<\/em> history was filled with boys and men who looked at me with disgust.\u201d Except for Remington Steele. \u201cI\u2019m not going to assume the improbable every time I encounter a man I find attractive in case this<\/em> one isn\u2019t like the others. That\u2019s like sitting at a slot machine for days on end shoveling nickels into it just knowing<\/em> the next pull is going to hit the jackpot.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria\u2019s mouth twitched. \u201cHm. Now I remember thinking that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd also, Aunt Trudy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria\u2019s lip curled. \u201cYes, she planted that in your head early, but she\u2019s not the whole<\/em> reason. You don\u2019t want men<\/em> to touch you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle felt herself flush again. \u201cUm \u2026 well, men I, um \u2026 find \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFind attractive,\u201d she finished, stunning Giselle with the depth of her insight. Yet \u2026 \u00c9tienne was that way, too\u2014when he thought about it. \u201cBecause you get hot and bothered really fast and you don\u2019t know what to do with it and you don\u2019t know how to flirt and even if you did know how to flirt, you have no patience and you want to hit the sheets right then.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle withered in defeat and muttered, \u201cYou forgot the declaration of eternal devotion, the immediate wedding, and happily ever after parts.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria looked at her in utter confusion. \u201cDidn\u2019t you just tell me that\u2019s exactly how it happened for you? Or did I misunderstand? Because that is very possible.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, well, I mean, no. It took us a year and a half\u2014well, two for Bryce\u2014for us to land in bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExcept you kissed him the first time you met him, you made out with him the second time you met him at which time he undressed you in public, and you slept with him the third time you met him.\u201d She waved a hand. \u201cWhat was in between was you trying to figure out how to get this done.\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle\u2019s mouth dropped open. \u201cLike a chore<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Victoria drawled, \u201clike seeing that what you need is in reach and finally saying, \u2018Damn the torpedoes.\u2019\u201d She paused. \u201cYou ate the apple.\u201d<\/p>\n

That forced a little laugh out of her. \u201cNo. He called me Lilith.\u201d<\/p>\n

Victoria cast her a sly smile. \u201cShe<\/em> didn\u2019t do anything wrong, either, until her partner turned out to be a whiny little man-baby throwing a tantrum.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly, Giselle felt a whole lot better.<\/p>\n

GISELLE AND BRYCE didn\u2019t stay long, only enough for a quick tour of Seville and a few awkward meals with Victoria and Emilio. Bryce and Emilio had absolutely nothing in common and therefore, nothing to talk about but polite What do you do for a living?<\/em>s, which they had done while Giselle and Victoria stayed up most of the night dissecting the Fall of Man and feminism, beauty and truth, literature and linguistics, sex and food. Anything else Giselle and Victoria needed to say had to be done in private, so meals with both couples were stilted. At breakfast the second morning, Emilio kept his distance from Giselle, so she knew Victoria had informed him of their conversation, which embarrassed her further.<\/p>\n

Finally, Bryce claimed tourist obligations and dragged an exhausted Giselle around Seville, astounded at how much<\/em> the Country Club Plaza was modeled after Seville, and, further, that Seville had a major thoroughfare named La Avenida de la Kansas City. She\u2019d already been here and she was too wrung out to enjoy anything.<\/p>\n

\u201cTalk to me,\u201d Bryce said softly on the flight taking them away from Spain, hopefully for forever. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t take two days to work through a few hours of teenage-girl drama.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI \u2026 can\u2019t.\u201d She sighed and returned the words Bryce had given her about his children: \u201cIt hurts too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her tears started up again when they landed at Heathrow and she checked her phone. One single text from Victoria: I love you, Lilith<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Giselle hesitated over her phone, her eyes stinging again, then texted, I love you, too, Eve<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

★<\/p>\n

20260331<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

JUNE 2007 Seville, Spain GISELLE FIDGETED THE entire way to Seville to catch up with her cousin Victoria, wishing she\u2019d put the brakes on this excursion as soon as it came up. She was nervous, wringing her hands and looking out the plane window. First, she was going to have to deal with her feelings […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":39,"menu_order":4128,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-13103","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13103"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13103"}],"version-history":[{"count":43,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13103\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25274,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/13103\/revisions\/25274"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/39"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}