{"id":116,"date":"2008-12-19T23:53:59","date_gmt":"2008-12-20T05:53:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theproviso.com\/?page_id=116"},"modified":"2026-02-22T18:44:31","modified_gmt":"2026-02-22T23:44:31","slug":"jordache-jeans","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/extras\/vignettes-outtakes\/dirty-little-secrets\/jordache-jeans\/","title":{"rendered":"Jordache Jeans"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

JANUARY 1985<\/p>\n

Giselle: almost 15
\nKnox: barely 16
\nSebastian: 18<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

GISELLE SAT IN the back of the room in a corner, her arms crossed over her chest. The Young Women\u2019s president droned on about their goals, getting them approved, accomplishing them. For what? A medallion necklace she didn\u2019t even like?<\/p>\n

Susan Mendenhall had set a goal of reading a two-hundred-page book. That was a goal? Giselle had two-hundred-page books for breakfast with a little left over for lunch if she stopped reading at just the right spot.<\/p>\n

Now, lose sixty pounds? That<\/em> was a goal. Not that she would ever make her dreams and desires known to the perky, the popular, the pretty girls who surrounded her on Sundays and looked at her with a slight curl to their carefully glossed lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cToday\u2019s lesson is on chastity,\u201d said Sister Bremmer with a brightness that Giselle supposed had to have come from having obeyed all the rules, having never messed up. Nobody could be that happy if they\u2019d ever done so much as swiped a peanut from the bin at Milgram\u2019s.<\/p>\n

As for Giselle, well, it was too late for that, what with her midnight forays with Sebastian.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2026 necking and petting \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

She raised her hand. \u201cSister Bremmer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Giselle?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is necking and petting? I mean, what happens?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, uhm \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

The other girls burst out in knowledgeable titters. Sister Bremmer stumbled over her words and blushed. Giselle thought she might just like to melt into the floor. She looked down at the carpet and blinked tears back when Susan cast her a contemptuous glance.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t know,\u201d she murmured under the laughter, \u201cthen Knox isn\u2019t a real<\/em> boyfriend, is he?\u201d The titters turned into peals and shrieks of laughter.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, no<\/em>,\u201d she said, wondering where that<\/em> came from. <\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t a boyfriend<\/em> at all. He was her best<\/em> friend. Sometimes they practiced kissing the way they did in romance novels and on Love Boat<\/em> that made Giselle get tingly in her lower belly, but that didn\u2019t happen when she and Knox were practicing.<\/p>\n

Sister Bremmer calmed the class, but never actually answered Giselle\u2019s question. If she\u2019d caught Susan\u2019s remark, she didn\u2019t betray it in any way.<\/p>\n

Not that she would\u2019ve reprimanded her for it if she had.<\/p>\n

Giselle picked at her hand-me-down dress, the dull brown of it making her feel as dowdy as her classmates did when she stood next to them in their pretty clothes and perfect hair that Giselle didn\u2019t know how to mimic.<\/p>\n

Class didn\u2019t let out for another agonizing thirty minutes and Giselle tuned out most of the lesson. Meaningless words to her. If she couldn\u2019t visualize it, she couldn\u2019t avoid doing it. If no one would tell her what was what, how did she know when the line\u2014what line? where?\u2014had been crossed?<\/p>\n

About the only thing she really knew was bad was when the boy put his penis in the girl\u2019s vagina.<\/p>\n

Yeah, that was bad. Her mother had lectured her on that over and over again, so she understood the basic concept. Why anybody would want to get that close remained a mystery to Giselle and, furthermore, what happened when the boy\u2019s penis was in the girl\u2019s vagina? Romance novels were no help; the love scenes weren\u2019t actually described using any language Giselle knew. Even sneaking her Aunt Dianne\u2019s copy of Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)<\/em> did nothing to enlighten her.<\/p>\n

She knew a whole lot about a whole lot of sexual things, but absolutely nothing about the mechanics, logistics, what it felt like, or what any given activity was called. Still. And she\u2019d never seen an uglier word than \u201corgasm\u201d in her life. It didn\u2019t sound any better than it looked.<\/p>\n

Chastity must have some other components, but it definitely meant refraining from putting tab A into slot B. Then she decided that if it wasn\u2019t important enough to be explained in Young Women\u2019s, it must not be bad.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2026 self-abuse \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

Yeah, and that was another one. The only thing Giselle could visualize was a person slugging himself in the face with his fist and surely<\/em> it didn\u2019t mean that \u2026 ? If it had been mentioned in any book she\u2019d ever read, it hadn\u2019t been called \u201cself-abuse,\u201d that was for sure.<\/p>\n

Giselle waited until the other girls left the room, dawdling over the task of gathering her things.<\/p>\n

\u201cGiselle.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked up, startled at the hand on her shoulder and she pulled away.<\/p>\n

Giselle, you fat little pig. Don\u2019t touch me; I don\u2019t want to catch your fat.<\/em><\/p>\n

Giselle figured if Aunt Trudy could get fat from her, then everybody else could, too. Sister Bremmer sat beside her, careful not to touch her again, which confirmed her feelings about that.<\/p>\n

\u201cGiselle, has your mother talked to you about\u2014about, uhm, chastity?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Giselle drawled warily, wondering again what chastity actually meant to Sister Bremmer and if her mother really had told her everything. \u201cShe said making love was only between a man and a woman who are married and who love each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd \u2026 \u201d Giselle trailed off, not understanding what else Sister Bremmer expected of her, \u201c \u2026 that it was to make babies.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her teacher smiled then. \u201cRight. And that\u2019s all<\/em> it\u2019s for.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her mother hadn\u2019t gone so far as all that, but Giselle could appreciate her teacher\u2019s need to put the brakes on the conversation.<\/p>\n

\u201cI still don\u2019t understand what necking and petting are. And self-abuse?\u201d<\/p>\n

She cleared her throat. \u201cYou need to ask your mother.\u201d<\/p>\n

No, thanks. The minute Giselle got curious and started asking questions, Knox would have to go live with Sebastian.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t brighten her day any to walk down the hall toward the chapel for sacrament meeting and see the same PerkyPopularPretty girls gathered like groupies around Sebastian and Knox. Susan flirted shamelessly with a miserable-looking Knox until he saw Giselle and broke away from the crowd to meet her halfway.<\/p>\n

\u201cSave me,\u201d he quipped, dropping his arm around her shoulder. \u201cNot a brain cell amongst them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, Giselle didn\u2019t know if that was true or not, but at that moment, she preened when she felt the nastiness rippling her way. She did have one<\/em> thing the other girls did not, that they wanted, that they hated her for having:<\/p>\n

Knox Hilliard.<\/p>\n

Not to mention her access to Sebastian Taight. Any girl who wanted Sebastian\u2019s time or attention had to get it through Giselle, but Giselle had stopped granting that particular favor a year ago.<\/p>\n

\u201cGiz, they\u2019re using you to get to me and then they ridicule you behind your back. Stop feeding them. You\u2019re too good, too smart, too savvy to play their games.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Giselle remained silent.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI know you want friends at church,\u201d he said finally, sighing. \u201cBut you\u2019re not going to get them that way. As long as you have something they want, they\u2019ll hate you for it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do I have? I\u2019m not pretty, I\u2019m fat, I have ugly clothes and frizzy hair. I don\u2019t play the piano, I don\u2019t sing or dance. I go to East High School. Not Ray South. Not Truman. Not Raytown. <\/em>East\u2013High\u2013School. Tell me what I have.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, for a thirteen-year-old, you have a helluva bank account. You could get yourself some decent clothes.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

She swallowed and looked away. \u201cI don\u2019t know where to go or what to buy.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cCall Victoria. She\u2019ll help you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Well, that was an idea. It wasn\u2019t as if she lacked for cousins. The trick was finding one with a car who could drive who had time to help her.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, so I get new clothes, big deal.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Sebastian shot her a look. \u201cYou really don\u2019t know, do you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

She stared at him until he looked down at what she held in her lap. She followed his gaze and saw the nine-millimeter in her hand.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPower. That\u2019s what you\u2019ve got. They can feel it but they don\u2019t know what it is and apparently, you\u2019re as ignorant as they are. If you want girlfriends, wait \u2019til you get to college, \u2019cuz those girls at church? Not worth having. Now, are you ready?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Giselle got out of the truck, stuffed her gun in her waistband, and fished a flashlight out of the glove compartment. Sebastian checked his own gun and stuffed it in the back of his jeans.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIf I could fit into a pair of Jordache jeans, they\u2019d be my friends.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, and that\u2019s the problem, right there,\u201d Sebastian muttered as he retrieved his baseball bat from the bed of the truck.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, hey. Mom has to be up at four to get to work.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShit. Well, we can\u2019t be in a hurry, so if she catches you, too bad. We got money to make and I hear these fuckers have an ambush waiting for us. Whatever you do, don\u2019t aim higher than the belt buckle.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Lost in her thoughts and approaching the gauntlet of PerkyPopularPretty, she ignored whatever Knox rambled on about and concentrated on how best to navigate it.<\/p>\n

But Knox stopped abruptly just in front of the door to the chapel\u2019s overflow annex, his ear cocked toward it. He eased closer, nudging her with his body.<\/p>\n

\u201c \u2026 home with us for dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you ask him?\u201d Giselle\u2019s mother\u2019s voice, razor sharp, even through the wooden door.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but he said he had to eat with his family on Sunday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen why are you asking me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought if he had your permission to miss \u2026 \u201d<\/p>\n

Long silence, then Giselle heard her mother sigh. \u201cBarbara, why do you think you can force Knox to be interested in Susan? He\u2019s made himself clear. Several times.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d Susan\u2019s mother returned, an edge of what Giselle might think was hatefulness coming from anybody else, \u201cI should ask his guard dog Giselle<\/em> for her<\/em> permission.\u201d Giselle\u2019s heart stopped, that was so painful. \u201cBut I won\u2019t, because that girl of yours is terrifying.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd yours isn\u2019t. See a correlation?\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle didn\u2019t feel terrifying at church and Susan seemed plenty terrifying to Giselle. Not only that, but her mother didn\u2019t address the guard dog<\/em> part, which was its own kind of hurt.<\/p>\n

The door burst open, nearly slamming Giselle and Knox in their faces. Her mother stood in front of them, her expression ferocious\u2014almost as ferocious as the time she\u2019d come home early from work and caught Giselle and Knox practicing their kissing.<\/p>\n

\u201cKnox,\u201d she barked. \u201cDo you or do you not want to go to Sister Mendenhall\u2019s house for dinner today?\u201d<\/p>\n

Knox squirmed under her mother\u2019s stern gaze, under the expectant stare of Sister Mendenhall. \u201cUh, not really,\u201d he finally croaked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you at all interested in asking Susan Mendenhall out ever?\u201d<\/p>\n

Giselle glanced up at him. Susan was gorgeous. Giselle was not. In Giselle\u2019s mind, it was an easy choice and she prepared herself for the blow.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d he said with a gulp, staring at Giselle\u2019s mother, never looking at Sister Mendenhall or Susan, who had sidled up beside her mother.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right. Go on into the chapel.\u201d<\/p>\n

Knox jerked Giselle\u2019s hand and made his way to the chapel doors as if stung, pulling her two steps before she found her feet\u2014<\/p>\n

\u2014then lost them again when Susan stuck her foot out and tripped her.<\/p>\n

Down she went, on her face, the back of her dress flying up to her waist, her bottom, covered by panties and pantyhose, exposed.<\/p>\n

She heard her mother\u2019s gasp, felt her hands smooth her dress down to cover her and make her modest again.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou bitch<\/em>,\u201d Knox snarled, and gasps rose into the air like a fog and lingered near the ceiling before dissipating. Giselle felt his arms around her, lifting her to her knees, helping her to her feet.<\/p>\n

Giselle wanted nothing more than to run away, hide, cry. Away from her mother, Knox, Sebastian, Aunt Dianne and Uncle Charlie, her family.<\/p>\n

Oh, lovely. Sebastian had seen the whole thing, if his murderous expression was any indicator.<\/p>\n

She hated feeling\u2014being\u2014weak in front of her family and that only happened at church where the cult of PerkyPopularPretty reigned supreme. Her family knew it and it humiliated her that she became a completely different girl here at church where all she wanted was the acceptance she should have been able to expect.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d Sebastian finally drawled. \u201cIf that\u2019s an example of Christ\u2019s teachings, I sure as shit don\u2019t want to see an example of Satan\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDianne!\u201d Sister Mendenhall gasped at Sebastian\u2019s mother.<\/p>\n

Giselle\u2019s mother, her hand caressing Giselle\u2019s cheek, glared at Sister Mendenhall, catching Giselle\u2019s tears with the pad of her thumb before they spilled.<\/p>\n

Sebastian\u2019s mother ignored Sister Mendenhall\u2019s outrage, rubbing Giselle\u2019s back, between her shoulder blades the way she liked.<\/p>\n

Sebastian\u2019s father stalked away to catch Brother Mendenhall to give him a piece of his mind.<\/p>\n

Sebastian folded his arms across his chest as he stared at Susan until she squirmed.<\/p>\n

Knox draped his arm over her shoulders. \u201cC\u2019mon. Let\u2019s go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

She got stuffed in the cab of Sebastian\u2019s truck, squeezed between the two of them, the gear shift between her knees. With the ease of a long partnership, she shifted when Sebastian clutched. None of them said a word, but Knox kissed her temple.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hate girls,\u201d she whispered. \u201cPower, my ass.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sebastian patted her knee.<\/p>\n

And she still<\/em> didn\u2019t know what necking and petting were.<\/p>\n

★<\/p>\n

20260222<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

JANUARY 1985 Giselle: almost 15 Knox: barely 16 Sebastian: 18 GISELLE SAT IN the back of the room in a corner, her arms crossed over her chest. The Young Women\u2019s president droned on about their goals, getting them approved, accomplishing them. For what? A medallion necklace she didn\u2019t even like? Susan Mendenhall had set a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":39,"menu_order":4112,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-116","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/116"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=116"}],"version-history":[{"count":29,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/116\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23468,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/116\/revisions\/23468"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/39"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moriahjovan.com\/talesofdunham\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=116"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}