I make this with different measurements all the time because A) it depends on what I have on hand; B) I never measure; and C) I can’t be arsed to write it down. This is how I made it today, and all measurements are approximate:

3 lb hamburger
1 diced yellow onion
1 T minced garlic (I use the stuff in the jars)
salt
pepper
1/4 c basil (dried)
1/2 c oregano (dried)
1/2 c parsley (dried)

Fry all that up together, then drain off the grease.

5 4-oz cans mushroom pieces and stems (with water)
2 cans tomato sauce
5 cans tomato paste
water to make it the consistency you like

Mix all that up really well, let simmer for a while with the lid on it. On low, you could keep it on the stove all day if you wanted. The idea is to let the herbs steep. I’ll add more oregano* once I get it stirred up, as I like oregano. Lots.

Serve on whatever shaped of pasta (cooked) that you like.

If I have stewed tomatoes on hand, I’ll use those. If I have whole tomatoes on hand, I’ll blanch, peel, and use those. I don’t use olive oil because I think the beef provides all the oil necessary, and I’m not a fan of olive oil anyway.

As we all know, this is a heavy dish. When I’m low-carbing, I can have a bowl of it for breakfast (yes, I said breakfast) without the pasta (with parmesan) and I won’t have to think about eating again until bedtime. No matter how much I love it, though, I will never get over thinking it’s weird to eat it without the pasta.

It freezes well, and one of these days, if I ever get around to learning how to can, this is the first thing I’m going to can.

*Went to a Mexican restaurant where they loaded their salsa with oregano. WTF? I went for Mexican food, not Italian. A little was good. A lot was not better.

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I grew up with this being served only on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. It was a magnificent treat. For the most part, I still keep that because, well, it’s loaded with sugar and, wow, I could drink a quart of it every day.

Anyway, I had it for my wedding reception and Dragon Lady told me later it was the best punch she’d ever had with another sweet (cake, etc.) because it didn’t clash and/or leave an aftertaste. Now, I don’t know how much that had to do with the punch as much as it had to do with the fact that I wanted vanilla and almond flavoring in my cake icing, but she loved it so much she got her niece to serve it at her wedding reception, where, apparently, it went just as well.

The secret is in the vanilla-and-almond combination.

10 cups water
1 tsp almond flavoring
1 tsp vanilla flavoring
1 cup ReaLemon juice
2 cups  sugar
6 oz orange juice, thawed

Mix well.

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I have an “official” recipe that I kinda sorta follow sometimes if I feel like it, but usually I have way more hamburger than the amount called for in the official recipe (we buy one cow a year and have most of it, minus the excellent cuts [about which I am very specific] ground into hamburger). This is how I made it last night:

2-1/2 lb hamburger
1-1/2 c bread crumbs (combined my own dried/crumbled with boughten seasoned)
1 c milk
1/2 c yellow onion, chopped
2 eggs
2 T Worcestershire sauce (this is the key to a good meatloaf, IMO)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp dry mustard
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp ground sage

Mix all ingredients (knead it with your hands as you would bread dough) and put into a springform pan. Put on an aluminum-foil-lined cookie sheet. Cook at 350F for 1 hour.

Add ketchup as needed.

NOTE: For low-carb version, substitute bread crumbs with chopped mushrooms (not the kind from the can).

If you’re easily squicked about meat and the eating thereof, you may stop reading right here.

I love steak tartare. If you don’t know what that is, it’s raw ground sirloin with egg and capons and a bunch of spices in it. I eat this meatloaf raw once I get all the spices worked in and settled. Sometimes I’ll add a little extra Worcestershire sauce. Poor woman’s tartare.

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Continuing with the theme of what Mojo cooks because she hates to, and this is what her mother cooked and so she likes it enough to cook it:

This should probably fall under the heading “no brainer,” but these are the best enchiladas I’ve ever had, bar none.

I got 27 enchiladas out of this today:

3 Tb flour
3 Tb shortening (probably really should use lard, but I didn’t have any)
3 c water12 oz taco seasoning*
32-oz bag of finely grated cheese (I like sharp cheddar)
3 medium yellow onions, finely chopped**
corn tortillas

Oven to 350F.

Melt flour and shortening/lard together in a huge skillet and/or wok-like pan, and stir until smooth and bubbly. Add water and taco seasoning, then cook until thick. Turn burner to low or off.

Coat the tortillas in the sauce, then roll up with cheese and onions. Pack them in a jelly roll pan or something equally large. You may have to add some water to the sauce to thin it out, as it will get thicker as it sits. Save enough sauce to coat a full pan of enchiladas, then do so. Sprinkle the extra cheese and onions over all.

Put in the oven for 20-25 minutes.

This isn’t hard, but the prep time (especially if you hand grate the cheese and dice the onions by hand instead of the handy-dandy chopper I adore) is a killer.

Obviously, you can substitute any meat you like, but I prefer plain cheese and onions.

Pimp moment of the day:

*My mother always used to use Li’l Guy taco seasoning (not the enchilada one). It came in a 12-ounce glass jar. Their website says it’s discontinued. Now, I haven’t looked to see if they still carry it in the grocery stores the way I remember it, but I don’t use this because now I go to Planter’s in River Market (downtown Kansas City) and get their mix. The seasonings you use make all the difference, so experiment.

By the way, Planter’s is one of the businesses I mentioned in The Proviso. I mention a lot of local businesses in my book(s).

**If you don’t have one of these, get one. Right now. I believe we got ours at Walgreen’s for like, $5. Best kitchen tool buy ever.

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Got a request for my recipe for beef stroganoff, so I’m going to add a new category of comfort food. These are adapted from recipes my mother used, the food I grew up on and while some of it’s expensive to make, some of it’s not. It’s not fancy. The reason I don’t cook is that my mother made everything from scratch (even egg noodles) and so it wouldn’t occur to me to go get, say, a jar of Ragu for spaghetti sauce (and the one time I did I gagged). However, when I do cook, I cook from scratch.

I very rarely measure anything unless I’m baking, so you’ll have to adjust for your own tastes. I have tried this stroganoff with stew meat or cutting up a cheap steak (say, chuck), but I don’t like it that way, as the flavors don’t blend as well. Liberal use of pepper is the key to a good batch of stroganoff.

The measurements for this beef stroganoff are written per 1 pound of hamburger.

1 pound hamburger
1 diced medium yellow onion (Get one of these gizmos.)
minced garlic (I buy it in the jars, usually in produce section by the onions.)
salt to taste
coarse-ground black pepper to taste, maybe 2 tsp
parsley to taste, maybe 1 Tb of dried
1 to 2 4-ounce cans of mushroom stems and pieces, drained

Cook up the hamburger with all the above ingredients on medium high heat, enough to barely cook the meat and make the onions translucent. Stir well, and let it simmer for about 10 minutes to let the flavors settle in. Drain, put it back in the pan, and put it back on the stove.

Into the drained meat, stir in (very well):

1 can cream of chicken soup

Let that simmer on low for about 15 minutes. While that’s cooking, cook up:

egg noodles

Remove the stroganoff from the heat. Add:

8 oz sour cream

Stir it in well and let the whole thing sit for about 10 minutes. Drain your egg noodles and put them on a plate. Then top with the stroganoff mixture.

That’s it. Only takes me about 1/2 hour, no matter how much I make, and I make it in batches of about 5 pounds of hamburger. It never lasts long enough to be able to freeze any of it, but it is freezable.

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